Doubts crept into her mind. What if Epworth didn’t do it? What if I made a terrible mistake? She reached into her bag and felt for the panic alarm, then looked around. The mountain remained undisturbed. It has to be him, he was on the mountain that day and he chased me. I remember feeling frightened.
Blue scrambled onto the bank and shook his coat. Droplets of water landed on Gwen and soaked through her T-shirt, rousing her from her thoughts. She stood up, brushed the grass from her legs, and attached Blue to his lead. She walked slowly back into the village, she didn’t feel like going home. Since Winter Meadows walked into the hospital that day she felt a change in her feelings towards Matt. What would my life have been like if I hadn’t married him? I don’t know if I want to stay with him.
She walked passed her home and headed to her mother’s house. She found her mother lying on a lounger in the garden, a glass of juice in one hand and a book in the other.
‘Hi, darling, what’re you doing here?’ Sue squinted through the sun.
‘Just out walking Blue so I thought I would come and see you.’
‘Let’s go inside, it’s getting hot out here.’
Sue poured a glass of juice and handed it to Gwen before filling a bowl of water and setting it on the floor. Blue gulped the water then lay down on the tiles, his head resting on his paws.
‘I think you’ve worn him out,’ Sue smiled.
‘He’s OK, he had a good swim in the river.’
‘So where’s Matt taking you tonight?’
‘I don’t know. To be honest I don’t really feel like celebrating.’
‘Well I can’t say I blame you. To be honest the whole thing has left me feeling down. They were the worst days of my life and to think you went back to school and all the while he was there. He could have got to you anytime.’
‘It’s not that, and I don’t even remember the actual attack so there’s a chance Epworth isn’t guilty.’
‘Well I’m sure the police must have something on him to have kept him at the station, maybe they matched his fingerprints to the scene.’
‘Maybe.’ Gwen picked up her juice and sipped.
‘What’s bothering you, love?’
‘Why did you stay with Dad? It’s obvious you love Uncle David.’
Sue shifted in her seat. ‘Is that what’s troubling you? Are you still upset about what happened between us?’
‘No, honestly, Mum I’m happy you have David, I think you deserve to be happy. I just want to know what went wrong between you and Dad.’
‘Your father liked to have a good time and that didn’t stop when we got married. He drank a lot and, well, I suppose, had a lot of lady friends. A bit like, erm, well, you get the picture.’
‘You mean a bit like Matt?’
Sue blushed. ‘Yes, I guess so, love. David was good to me and then something sparked between us. When I found out I was pregnant your father didn’t question it, so I let him think you were his. He was a good father even though he was a lousy husband.’
‘Why didn’t you leave him?’
‘I couldn’t, I had you. I used to think I would leave him when you were grown. Then he got sick and it wouldn’t have been right for you to find out about David after your father died. It would’ve broken your heart.’
‘I’m sorry, you must’ve been unhappy for a long time.’
‘Are you unhappy?’
‘Yes. I put up with Matt because I didn’t think anyone else would want me, then there’s the kids.’
‘Oh, Gwenny.’ Sue reached across the table and squeezed Gwen’s hand. ‘Can you not see how beautiful you are, even with your scars? I wish now I had the courage to speak up long ago. I so wanted to talk to you about Matt but felt like a hypocrite. He doesn’t deserve you.’
‘So you think I should leave him?’
‘Only you can make that decision and you have to make it for yourself and nobody else. The children are old enough to understand. Ariana and Alex see the way Matt treats you, I don’t think staying for their benefit is the answer.’
‘Thanks, Mum. Maybe I’ll get a chance to talk to him tonight.’
‘Good, don’t leave it too long. You’re still young enough to start again.’
‘It’s not too late for you either, I think you and Uncle David deserve to be together. There’s nothing to stop you now.’
‘Perhaps, but I’ve denied him for so long I don’t think he wants me in that way now.’
‘Oh, I think you’ll find he does! He’s obviously crazy about you.’ Gwen kissed her mother. ‘Thanks for the chat. I’ll call you tomorrow to let you know how this evening goes with Matt.’
After Ariana and Alex left the house to stay with their grandmother, Gwen washed her hair and picked out a mint green dress. She took her time getting ready, pinning up her hair and applying make-up. She checked her reflection in the bedroom mirror. The dress was pulled in at the waist and dropped to her ankles, covering the scars on her leg; her arms were bare so she took out a shawl and draped it around her shoulders. I don’t look so bad when I’m dressed up. She smiled at her reflection.
Matt walked into the bedroom and slapped her playfully on the buttocks. ‘You look nice.’
‘Thank you.’ It’s not for your benefit but mine, I need to feel good about myself for a change. ‘Are you ready?’
‘Yep.’ Matt adjusted his tie in the mirror. ‘Let’s go.’
Matt had chosen an Italian restaurant in Bryn Mawr and ordered a taxi so they could both drink. Usually when they went out, which was a rarity, Gwen drove as Matt always complained about the taxi fares.
When they arrived at the restaurant Matt ordered a bottle of wine as soon as they were seated at the table, then picked up the menu.
Gwen glanced around the restaurant. Large murals depicting scenes from Italy decorated the walls. It would be nice to go there. An image of Winter strolling through a vineyard entered her mind. Don’t think about him now. The waiter appeared and poured the wine. Matt picked up the glass, sniffed, swirled the liquid, and took a sip before nodding his approval.
Pretentious git. Gwen looked at the other diners. A young couple sat engrossed in each other while a group bantered as they ate their meal. She picked up the wine glass and drained it in one go. Nerves fizzled in her stomach. Now they were alone she didn’t know how to bring up the subject of a separation.
‘That’s the spirit.’ Matt grinned and refilled her glass.
They ordered their food and Gwen pulled her chair in closer to the table and leant forward so they wouldn’t be overheard by the other diners.
‘Are you happy?’
‘What sort of question is that?’ Matt’s eyebrows furrowed.
‘I mean with us.’
‘Well, what do you think all this is about? I wouldn’t be taking you out to dinner if I wasn’t happy with you.’
‘You must admit that things haven’t been good between us for a while.’
‘You haven’t been easy to live with since all this business was brought back up, but things will be better now.’
‘They weren’t all that good before.’ Gwen struggled to find the right words. She didn’t want a scene at the restaurant so was reluctant to throw accusations about his affairs. Just now she would be happy to take the blame for their problems if they could agree to a separation amicably.
‘What are you getting at?’ Matt’s jaw clenched.
‘I suppose I don’t know why you married me in the first place. Was it out of pity?’
‘No, of course not.’ Matt sat back in his chair and folded his arms. ‘Why are you doing this? I thought it’d be nice to go out but you seem intent on ruining the evening.’
‘I’m sorry. I just want you to be honest with me.’
Matt drank his wine, refilled his glass, and called for the waiter to bring another bottle. Gwen waited for him to comment but he remained silent, she could feel the tension crackle in the air. The food arrived and she picked at the meat, pushing it arou
nd the plate. She didn’t feel hungry and wished she had waited to talk to Matt at home.
‘So how are things at work?’ She forced a smile, hoping to soften his mood. It worked and he happily rambled on while she gave the occasional nod and smile. She let her mind wander, imagining what it would be like to be with Winter. She felt the heat rise and spread through her body, tingling her skin. She squirmed in her chair and realised she hadn’t been listening to Matt. She forced herself to concentrate. The conversation moved on to the children and Matt suggested they take a holiday once Alex had finished his exams.
‘Are you ready to go?’ Matt’s face was flushed from the alcohol.
‘Yes.’ She drained the last of her wine as Matt called for the bill.
In the taxi his hands slid over her dress. She pushed him away, embarrassed in front of the driver.
‘Wait until we get home,’ Matt whispered in her ear.
The thought of sex with Matt made her skin crawl. I don’t love him anymore. I don’t want him touching me.
She leapt out of the taxi as soon as it pulled up outside of the house. Blue greeted her as she opened the front door.
‘Hello, boy.’ She put down her handbag and nuzzled his fur. ‘I bet you want to go out.’ She spun around when she heard Matt shut the door. ‘I’m going to let him out.’
‘Don’t be too long.’ Matt winked.
‘Put the kettle on, please,’ she called out as she headed for the back door. ‘I fancy a cup of tea.’
She watched Blue dance around the garden. The night air seeped through her dress and she wrapped her shawl tightly around her shoulders. Blue sniffed at the shrubbery then bounded towards her. ‘I thought you would stay out a bit longer,’ she hissed. Reluctantly she walked back into the kitchen where Matt stood watching.
‘I thought we would skip the tea. Come on, let’s go to bed.’
‘Yeah that’s a good idea, I am quite tired now. It must be all that fresh air up the mountain today and the wine.’ She faked a yawn.
Matt stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. ‘That’s OK, you can just lie there, I’ll do all the work.’ He laughed as he pulled her closer, nuzzling her neck. His hands slipped down and grabbed her buttocks, squeezing hard.
Gwen squirmed. ‘Not tonight, I told you I’m tired.’
‘Don’t be a spoilsport.’ He tugged at the zip on her dress.
‘Matt!’ Gwen put her hands behind her back and struggled to pull his hands away. She felt her nail dig into his flesh.
‘Ouch, what did you do that for?’ He pulled back his hand to inspect the skin.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to scratch you.’ Gwen stared at the scratch on his hand and an image flashed before her eyes. Hands around Beth’s throat, her fingernails clawing into the flesh. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind of the alcohol haze as she backed away from Matt.
‘What is it?’ he asked.
She bit her lip as she willed the image to return, closing her eyes and concentrating on the image of the hands …
Beth was struggling to breathe, her eyes bulged with terror as she tore at the hands squeezing her throat. He’s going to kill her. Gwen flung open the door of the shack and threw herself at Beth. She dug her fingers beneath the hands and yanked.
‘Let her go!’ she screamed.
The hands let go of Beth’s neck and Gwen spun around, coming face to face with Matt. His face was contorted with rage.
‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’ Gwen shouted.
‘Gwen, what’s wrong with you?’ Matt’s voice chased away the image.
Gwen opened her eyes and gasped, she was back in the kitchen and Matt hands were on her shoulders, shaking her body.
‘You were there, you were strangling her.’ Fear filled her chest and she could feel her heart beating wildly.
‘What’re you talking about?’ Matt paled as his fingers dug into her shoulders.
‘Get off me!’ She shook him free and backed away. Where is my handbag? Oh no, I left it by the front door, I have to get to it and hit the panic alarm. She bolted through the kitchen door and into the hall, but before she reached her handbag, Matt caught her. He gripped her arm and spun her around, throwing her up against the wall.
‘What the fuck’s got into you?’ he snarled.
‘It was you! You killed Beth.’
‘Listen to me, you don’t know what you are talking about, you are confused.’ He shook her violently.
Gwen struggled against his grip. Desperate, she lifted her leg and brought the heel of her shoe down hard on his foot.
‘Argh! You stupid bitch!’ Matt yelped. He slapped her hard, cracking her head against the wall. There was a growl and a flash of white as Blue leapt at Matt and sunk his teeth into his arm.
Matt howled and let go of Gwen as he tried to wrestle free from the dog, throwing punches with his free arm. Gwen heard Blue yelp as she reached for her bag.
‘Call him off or I’ll fucking kill him,’ Matt shouted.
Gwen turned and saw Matt smashing his fist into Blue’s face. ‘OK, stop hurting him. Blue, come here, it’s OK, boy,’ she coaxed.
Blue finally released Matt’s arm but continued to bare his teeth. A low growl rumbled through his body and blood seeped into the fur around his mouth.
‘It’s OK,’ she soothed, stroking his head.
‘Put him outside.’ Matt’s arm was dripping blood, his eyes blazed. ‘Do it or I’ll get a knife and slit his fucking throat.’
Gwen coaxed Blue to the door. Tears blurred her vision as she opened the door and tried to coaxed the snarling dog outside.
I could make a run for it. She looked down at her shoes that were held in place by a thin strap around her ankle. I can’t outrun him in these, I need to get to the panic alarm.
‘Don’t even think about it,’ Matt snarled as he stepped closer. He aimed a kick at Blue before pushing the door against him as he yanked Gwen inside. The sound of Blue’s desperate howls came from the other side of the door.
Gwen dived for her handbag and put her hand inside, but Matt knocked her to the floor and grabbed a handful of her hair, snapping her head back.
‘Going to call him, are you?’ Matt ripped the bag from her hands, rummaged around inside and pulled out her mobile phone. He chucked the bag back at her and put the phone into his pocket. ‘Why couldn’t you leave it alone? I was afraid this would happen, in your fucked-up mind you only remember what you want to. You know I didn’t kill Beth.’
Gwen managed to get her hand into her bag unnoticed. She felt around for the panic alarm and pressed the button. How long will it take them to get here? I have to keep him talking.
‘I saw you, Matt.’
‘You’re confused. You saw Epworth kill Beth. If you go saying that you saw me strangle Beth they’ll put me away. Is that what you want? The kids will have no father and it’ll all be your fault.’ He bent over her and tugged at her arm. ‘Come on, I think you need to calm down, take a few of your pills. You’ll feel better in the morning.’
‘No!’ Gwen tried to wrestle free but he was too strong. He dragged her to the bottom of the stairs, she reached out and wrapped her arms around the banister.
‘Please, Matt,’ she begged.
‘Just take your pills and forget about this. You haven’t remembered everything, it’s not what you think.’
Oh God, he’s going to kill me. He’ll make me swallow the bottle of pills and everyone will think I killed myself. No, not everyone, Winter will know I wouldn’t do that. I have to hold him off for a bit longer.
She clung on tighter to the banister as Matt yanked at her arms. She could feel her muscles tearing as her pulled with all his weight. Her phone was ringing in Matt’s pocket. Winter is trying to reach me. It was her last thought before Matt smacked her head against the banister and she felt herself losing consciousness.
Chapter Twenty-six
Meadows leaned back in the armchair in his mother’s sitting room and
watched her pluck tobacco from a tin balanced on her knee.
‘Were you about to go to bed?’
‘No, love.’ She rolled the tobacco up then licked the edge of the thin white paper. ‘I don’t often go to bed early these days, the pain keeps me awake so I stay up until I’m too tired to be bothered by it.’ She lit up and inhaled deeply, blowing out a thick plume of smoke. ‘So how come you’re calling around and at this time of night. Are you on duty?’
‘Sort of, I’ve been waiting around all evening for some fingerprint results. I left Edris at the station. He didn’t send them until late yesterday evening and it being the weekend, everything gets slowed down. It’s not like London’
‘Is this to do with that Epworth man?’ Distaste curled her lips.
‘You know I’m not supposed to discuss cases.’ Meadows smiled; he knew his mother was lonely and enjoyed discussing cases with him, anything he told her wouldn’t go any further.
‘Don’t be daft, Winney, I’m your mother, besides everyone knows about it. And to think we left the safety of the commune and sent you to school with that pervert.’
Bloody Matt Thomas, I bet he’s the one wagging his tongue. ‘Rain was in the same class of some of the boys, do you think something could have happened to him?’
‘Is that what’s got you all worked up? Just because your brother is gay it doesn’t mean that he would’ve let that man anywhere near him.’
‘Yes, but he would’ve been vulnerable. You remember what he was like back then, he was so volatile, and that thing with Dad …’
Fern shifted in her chair and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. ‘It’s just the way he was, he had a lot to deal with and people weren’t so tolerant in those days. It must have been difficult for him and he had to hide his feelings. I’m sure he would’ve said something if that man tried anything.’
The Silent Quarry Page 19