by James Hunt
He looked up from the scope, still keeping a bead on the deer, and tried looking for any clearing ahead that the buck would be walking into. There was a ten-foot gap between two trees five feet from the path the deer was on. That was his shot.
A few minutes later the head of the deer found its way into the middle of Joey’s crosshairs. He moved his finger gently to the trigger. He gave a slow exhale and fired. The sound of the shot ringing through the forest and the deer hitting the ground was simultaneous.
Joey smiled looking up from his scope and slung his rifle’s strap over his shoulder.
“Nice shot,” Cain said.
Joey flung himself around, trying to grab the rifle off his shoulder and falling backwards in the process.
Cain was in his usual stance, hands behind his back, looking straight through Joey.
“Need help dragging it back?” Cain asked.
“Okay.”
That was the first word Joey ever said to him and it came out in a whisper.
Joey and Cain both grabbed the deer’s antlers and started pulling it toward the house. Joey kept his head down most of the time, but would glance up occasionally just to make sure they were still heading in the right direction.
When they made it out of the woods and into the farm’s open field both let go of the deer’s antlers. Joey bent over on his knees, taking a moment to catch his breath.
“Why don’t you run and get the cart,” Cain said.
The cart was on the side of the house, but his mom left a few bags of chicken feed on it. He yanked the bags off and put them back in the barn.
Joey wheeled the cart through the field and he could see Cain with his back to him crouched over the animal. He couldn’t see what Cain was doing, but whatever it was had the deer’s carcass trembling.
The cart hit the ground with a thud when Joey dropped it a few feet behind Cain.
“What are you doing?” Joey asked.
Cain was cutting something along the deer’s chest.
“It’s a special moment, isn’t it?” Cain asked.
Cain kept his back to Joey, continuing the sawing motion with his arm. Joey could hear the cracks of bone, and the slicing of muscles and tendons.
“Killing something gives you a certain power,” Cain said.
Then, Cain finally turned around. Joey’s eyes immediately went to Cain’s hand, which was holding the deer’s heart. Blood dripped from Cain’s forearms and onto his uniform.
Joey froze. The knife that Cain used was in his other hand, wet with blood. A hole was left in the deer’s chest, where the heart was stolen. Cain stepped forward, extending the animal’s organ to him.
“You did this, Joey. Your skill brought this animal down. It will feed you and your family. This is yours,” Cain said.
Joey reached out his hand hesitantly. The heart was tough, warm, and wet. It took both of his hands to keep it from slipping out of his grip.
“That is power, Joey. You have it in your hands right now,” Cain said.
Joey imagined the heart still beating. He could feel the life and death of the animal in his bare hands.
“Your father understood that power, didn’t he?” Cain asked.
“Yes.”
“If you could have him back, would you?”
“Yes.”
Cain dropped to one knee, keeping himself at eye level with Joey, who was still staring at the heart in his hands.
“There is nothing that will bring your father back. Nothing. All that’s left of him is up here,” Cain said, his bloody finger tapping Joey on the forehead. “Does it make you angry that he’s gone?”
Joey nodded his head. He missed his father more than anything in the world. The anger he felt about the loss of his father, and the betrayal of his brother, still hadn’t left him. He found himself squeezing the heart tighter. He could feel the tear running out of the corner of his eye. His entire body was tensing up. The anger was tearing through him like a freight train.
“Use it,” Cain said.
Joey’s fingers dug into the heart, piercing it, pouring blood and spilling it to the grass. He started screaming, as the heart broke apart in his hands. He squeezed harder and harder until the lump of muscle turned to mush.
“Good,” Cain said.
***
When Jung told Fay he wanted to go outside she looked at him as if he was crazy. He knew why, though. He hadn’t left the room since they arrived. He never even wanted to get up and leave the bed unless it was to use the bathroom.
“Why?” Fay asked.
It was a valid question. Jung probably could have come up with a lot of different answers for it, but he decided to stick with the truth.
“I need to see my wife, where she’s buried,” Jung answered.
Jung was still in his restraints. He wasn’t sure if she would let him go. She didn’t trust him anymore, so he probably figured she thought there was some ulterior motive behind it.
“You eat something and I’ll take you to where she’s buried,” Fay said.
“Okay.”
After Jung forced down an entire packet of crackers, an apple juice, and some chips, Fay finally undid his restraints and walked him outside.
Fay had to guide him and pretty much hold him up since this was the most physical exertion he’d had for days.
Jung and Fay shuffled down Main Street and Jung’s eyes caught the spot where Jenna died.
“C’mon,” Fay said. “She’s over here.”
On the edge of town there were a few clearings cut in the grass. The larger of the clearings had dozens of rocks circled around the edge.
“What’s that?” Jung asked.
“We couldn’t identify all of the bodies of the townspeople, so we buried them together. Mike didn’t want to leave them to rot where the bikers left them,” Fay said.
“How many were there?” Jung asked.
“Count the rocks.”
Jung’s mouth dropped. He couldn’t believe that many people were killed. Then he noticed a few other smaller clearings. His throat went dry.
“Is that…” Jung trailed off.
“No,” Fay answered. “Jenna’s over here.”
It was different than he expected. He could see the dirt was upturned where they buried her. The small stone that rested at the head of the grave was nestled firmly in the ground.
He bent down on both knees, silent. Fay stood behind him, taking a few steps back, letting him have as much space as she could.
Of all the things that happened since the power went out, and after everything that transpired, the first memory that popped into Jung’s mind was his wedding day. He could still remember the butterflies in his stomach, waiting to see her.
The moment when he saw Jenna walk down the aisle, time stood still. All he could see was her, smiling with her arm tucked around her father’s. He remembered the swelling pride that filled him, knowing the kind of woman he was about to commit his life to. She was kind, smart, and loyal. Whatever perfection he could have conjured up in his feeble mind wouldn’t have held a candle to his wife.
Jung felt inside his pocket and ran his fingers across the smooth surface of the prayer beads. He pulled them out, clutched them in his hands, and closed his eyes.
“I’m lost, Jen. I failed you. I failed our children. I need you down here with me. I can’t do it alone. I miss you,” Jung whispered.
The tears rolling down his cheeks were accompanied by the silent sobs of grief. He could feel his shoulders trembling as he hunched over, bringing his forehead to the dirt.
Fay came over and placed her hand on his back. She helped him up and with her help he walked over to her headstone.
Jung kissed the beads in his hands before setting them on the headstone. He wasn’t just letting go of his wife. He was letting go of whatever soul he had left. The final piece of the man he used to be was left there at Jenna’s grave.
***
Beth ran the knife down the belly of the dee
r, spilling the intestines onto the ground. The deer’s pelt was already removed and set aside. The buck yielded a fair amount of meat after it was gutted, around sixty pounds.
Beth wrapped the meat and discarded the entrails to the pig trough. She was stacking the venison in a bag when Cain walked in.
“Need some help with that?” Cain asked.
Before she could answer he picked up the bag and threw it over his shoulder. On the walk back to the house Cain stayed close enough to make her feel his presence, but far enough away to where she wasn’t uncomfortable.
“Your boy’s quite the hunter,” Cain said.
Beth kept her eyes on the house, ignoring him. Her heart rate accelerated. There was a refined recklessness about him that put her on edge.
“Your husband taught him well,” Cain said. “They were very close, weren’t they?”
“Yes,” Beth answered.
“His passing was recent?”
“About a week ago.”
“Probably for the best.”
Beth stopped and turned around. She was never a woman who expected to be pitied, or felt sorry for, but even she recognized a certain level of sympathy for someone who had just lost a husband and a father.
“What did you say?” Beth snapped.
“You heard what I said.”
Cain’s voice was low. There was a threatening tone that went along with it. She felt as though he was challenging her, unafraid of the subject matter and the normal, cordial way someone would handle the situation.
“You needed him to die. If he didn’t you wouldn’t have anything to hate. You wouldn’t have anything to drive you forward like you do now,” Cain added.
Beth yanked the bag of venison out of Cain’s hand. She shoved her finger in his face and started screaming.
“You have no idea what’s best for me and my family, so don’t pretend that you do!”
She turned to leave and Cain grabbed her shoulder. The move was violent, and it was the first time he’d touched her since his arrival. Beth thrashed against him, but he was too strong. Her efforts were as fruitless as water breaking onto a rock.
“Is that why your other boy’s not here? Because you knew what’s best for your family?” Cain asked.
“Stop it.”
“I wonder why he left?”
“Let me go.”
“Where is he, Beth?”
She could feel Cain’s grip harden around her arms. It was like a vice clenching down on her. The more she fought it the harder he squeezed.
“Did your son leave because you were weak?” Cain asked.
“No.”
“Could he not stand the sight of his pathetic mother and younger brother begging him to save them?”
“He was the weak one!”
Cain let go of her arm. Her entire body was shaking now. The emotions of everything that happened were finally catching up with her.
“I drove him out because he killed his father! Because he couldn’t survive like I could! Because I hated him for being weak!” Beth screamed.
The smile that cut across Cain’s face was like watching a miner cut through stone, revealing a precious metal that he’d been searching for his entire life, and now he had finally reached the reward for all those years of laborious efforts.
Cain grabbed the bag of meat back from Beth’s grip and continued walking toward the house. Beth just stood there, frozen. She couldn’t believe the words that left her mouth.
The terrible, burning truth that had waited patiently to escape was now out in the open. Beth hated Billy for what he did. She didn’t want to forgive him and she didn’t want him to come back. All she wanted was to make him pay for what he did.
***
Billy kept an eye on the kids while Fay took Jung to visit Jenna’s grave. The children hadn’t visited the grave yet, but Fay didn’t want them to go with their father when he was in such a vulnerable state. She didn’t think it would be good for either of them. Billy agreed.
Jung Jr. pushed a small truck along the floor and Claire kept crawling after him.
Billy and his brother used to be like that. Joey would follow him wherever he went. Billy never had a moment alone. It got to the point where it was annoying. Now, he’d give anything to have his brother look at him the way he used to.
The door to his room opened up and Fay poked her head inside. She motioned for him to come outside. He closed the door behind him and noticed Fay still had Jung’s room key in her hand.
“How’d he take it?” Billy asked.
“Hard to tell. He didn’t say anything to me.”
“Did you tie him back up?”
“Yeah.”
“What are we going to do about the kids, Fay? We can’t keep them from their father forever.”
“We might not have to.”
“What?”
“He’s giving up, Billy. We can’t force him to eat or drink. If he wants to waste away, then that’s what he’s going to do. It’s not like we can sedate him and put him on life support.”
“How can he do that?”
“He’s broken, Billy. He has been for a while now.”
“That doesn’t mean you give up! That doesn’t mean you quit! You keep pushing!”
Billy caught himself. He didn’t realize how loud he was, or how much he was shaking until he saw Fay backing away from him. He relaxed his hands and exhaled.
“I’m sorry. It’s just…”
“Your family will forgive you, Billy. It’ll just take time,” Fay said.
“I know.”
***
Cain sat at the kitchen table with Joey and Beth. The sunlight still shone in through the windows. The rays caught the dust floating through the air. He sat there watching the small particles dance, drifting back and forth, and swirling in unorganized patterns.
He’d been on the road for weeks, searching for people to recruit for Bram’s cause. While most of his other colleagues focused on larger cities, Cain took a different approach. He spent his time traveling through smaller towns looking for soldiers who didn’t realize the war they were already a part of. Once Cain found them, all he had to do was polish them up.
“So it’s true?” Joey asked. “The power’s on in Cincinnati?”
“Yes,” Cain answered.
“When can we go?” Joey asked.
“You haven’t earned it yet,” Cain replied.
There was a test, something Cain administered to every prospect he came across. It required no skill or training, simply a certain frame of mind.
All of the people that Cain had come across were survivors. They could all hunt or were prepared with supplies to last them years. Most of them were competent with some kind of weapon, but every single one of them failed the test.
He’d all but given up his search until he stumbled across the Murths. When he found them he was able to put most of the pieces of their puzzle together himself. He spent a lot of time studying them, watching them. They were creatures of unyielding habit. They pushed forward, no matter what, and that’s what made Cain believe they were the right fit.
He knew he would get chewed out once he made it back to Cincinnati. Bram would have a fit that he’d been gone for weeks and managed to bring back only two new recruits, but Cain knew that whoever passed his test would be in it with their life.
Cain rose from the table and walked over to the wall where the large cross hung, watching over the house.
“’Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go,’” Cain said. “Do you know what that’s from, Joey?”
Joey shook his head. Cain reached for the cross and took it off the wall. He walked back over to the table, standing between Joey and Beth.
“It’s from the book of Joshua. After Moses died the Lord commanded Joshua to lead the Hebrews across the river Jordan, and promised him that whatever ground his foot touched would be his,
” Cain said.
Cain gripped the cross with both hands. His forearms tensed up, squeezing the cross.
“What a crock of shit,” Cain said.
He snapped the cross in half and tossed the pieces onto the table. Beth jumped from her seat and Cain backhanded her across the face. Joey lunged after him and he tossed the boy on the floor next to his mother.