Who Pays the Ferryman

by Michael J Bird

  She stopped pacing and turned to him. 'I've stored up those years, Alan. I've lived off them ever since. Like a squirrel through a long winter. And they had to have meant something to you. It wasn't just an affair, was it? It was much more than that. We ... ' She shrugged. 'Well, we really sort of blended, didn't we? You know,' she went on with a laugh, 'I can't think of a damned thing we didn't agree about. And we were good for each other, weren't we? In every way. That's why, when Philip asked me to marry him, before I said yes I had to know. I had to be sure that there wasn't a hope in hell of us ever getting together again.' She held up her glass. 'So with my pride suitably anaesthetised by scotch, I wrote you that letter. I can tell you I regretted it the next morning when the anaesthetic had worn off. I thought, you damned fool! What the hell have you done? Coming straight out with it like that. Suppose you just embarrass him out of his mind. Suppose he doesn't care.' She paused and studied him, still wounded by the thought. 'Suppose he laughs.'

  She shrugged and, smiling once more, crossed to him.

  'But it was too late,' she continued. 'The letter had gone by then. All I could do was pray that I hadn't made a complete fool of myself and bite my fingernails.' She put her glass down on the table, opened her handbag and, with a theatrical flourish, took out the telegram. 'And then I got this.' She read it triumphantly. 'Seat booked for you on Olympic Airways flight OA 206 on 11th. All my love. Alan.'

  Haldane took the telegram from her and looked at it. He frowned.

  'Now you didn't have to do that, Alan,' she scolded him. 'The ticket I mean. It was good of you. Generous as always. But just a telegram saying get out here. That would have been enough. But I. . .'

  This has gone far enough, thought Haldane. He put a hand on her arm and interrupted her. 'Lorna, stop. Please. Listen to me.'

  She looked at him, still smiling but puzzled. He guided her over to the settee. 'Sit down,' he said. She hesitated and her smile faded a little. 'Please,' he said firmly.

  She sat down on the settee. Haldane regarded her sadly. 'There's no easy way of saying this,' he said gently. 'But you have to know. This can't go on. I didn't buy a ticket for you.' He held out the telegram. 'And I didn't send this.'

  Lorna stared up at him, bewildered. There was silence in the room for a moment and then she said, 'You didn't send it?'

  'No.'

  'And the ticket. You didn't .. .'

  'No,' said Haldane.

  She examined his face, desperately searching for some sign that he was playing a game with her. She shook her head disbelievingly and tried to smile. 'I don't believe it,' she said. 'You are joking, aren't you?'

  Haldane sat down beside her. 'No,' he said. 'I'm not joking. It's the truth.'

  'But it can't be,' Lorna cried out desperately. 'It just can't be.'

  'It is,' Haldane assured her as kindly as he could.

  Lorna's face crumpled. Again she shook her head. 'But I don't understand. If you didn't send the telegram. If you didn't buy the ticket. Who did?'

  'I don't know,' replied Haldane grimly. 'But I'll find out I promise you. And when I do I'll bloody well break their neck.'

  Lorna was close to tears. Her expression was piteous. 'But who would do such a thing?' she asked. 'Who would be so cruel?'

  'I have no idea. Not at this moment.'

  'And why?'

  Haldane shrugged. 'I can't imagine. I really can't explain it. I didn't tell anyone about your letter. No one else could have read it.'

  Lorna frowned. 'So it has to have been you.'

  'Only it wasn't,' said Haldane. 'I got your letter. I thought about it. I was touched. I wrote back to you yesterday.' He paused, and studied her face. 'To wish you luck and every happiness.'

  'I see,' she said flatly.

  Haldane took her hand in his. 'I'm sorry, Lorna. And even sorrier about this. And angrier than you'll ever know.'

  Lorna drew her hand away from him, stood up quickly and crossed to the table. She picked up her glass of whisky and drained it. Then she turned to him and smiled weakly. 'I think I could do with another one of those,' she said. 'A large one.'

  Haldane got to his feet, took her glass from her and crossed to the sideboard with it. 'This fellow, Philip,' he said, as he half filled the tumbler with whisky. 'The man who wants to marry you. Did you say anything to him before you left?'

  Lorna shook her head. 'No,' she replied in a whisper. 'I wanted to see you first. To be absolutely sure.'

  'Well, that's something I suppose,' said Haldane quietly, as he moved back to her with her drink.

  'Is it?' she said. She began to cry. 'Is it?' Her expression was suddenly wild and anguished. 'Oh my God,' she cried, and now she was sobbing. 'No, it isn't. Not after this. Not after I thought ... ' She looked at him, her face a mask of despair and hurt. 'Oh Alan! Alan! Whoever did this? Why? Why? To let me believe ... To let me make such a complete fool of myself.

  Haldane put the glass down on the table and took her in his arms. 'Lorna, don't. Please,' he said. He held her close to him and let her cry it out. Slowly her sobs subsided than she looked up at him again and put on a brave but faint smile. 'And now I'm making an even bigger fool of myself, aren't I?' she said, wiping her face with the back of her hand.

  Haldane shook his head. 'No.' He held her away from him at arms' length. 'Oh, Lorna,' he said. 'I wouldn't have had you hurt like this for anything. Believe me.'

  She nodded. 'I do. It was a bastard thing to do. And that's not your style. Maybe that's why I love you.'

  They studied one another and Haldane saw in her the desperate need for consolation, some kind of comfort. He drew her to him again and kissed her, gently at first but then, as she responded, with a hunger that matched her own.

  It was as he lifted his face from Lorna's that Haldane was suddenly aware that they were no longer alone. He shot a look in the direction of the front door. Annika was standing in the open doorway, her expression one of pain and embarrassment. She had stood there watching them. She had seen the kiss and she had wanted to run away but somehow she could not move. Deeply concerned, Haldane frowned.

  'I'm sorry,' Annika said quietly. 'I had no idea ...

  Forgive me.' She turned and moved quickly away down the steps.

  Lorna gave Haldane a questioning look. He broke from the embrace and ran for the door. 'Annika!' he called.

  She was almost at the bottom of the steps by the time he reached the doorway. He called again and more urgently this time. 'Annika, wait!'

  She took no notice of him. She got into her car and, without looking back, drove off. Haldane watched the car until it was out of sight and then he turned and went back into the house. He closed the door behind him.

  'Who is she?' asked Lorna. She was now much more in control of herself and genuinely concerned about Haldane's reaction.

  'Her name's Annika Zeferis,' replied Haldane dully.

  Then he picked up his glass, moved to the sideboard and refilled it.

  'And she's important to you?'

  'She's a friend,' Haldane said dismissively. He turned and saw the disbelieving look on Lorna's face. 'I just wouldn't want her to think.. 'He shrugged. 'But it doesn't really matter.'

  'Doesn't it?' she asked quietly and seeing in his eyes just how much it did matter to him. 'Do you know where she'll go now?'

  'Home probably.' Haldane swallowed some of the neat whisky from his glass. He felt it burn the back of his throat.

  Then follow her,' said Lorna. 'Explain. Tell her why.'

  He shook his head. 'No. There's no point. And maybe it's better this way.'

  Lorna frowned. 'You want her to misunderstand?'

  'It's one way out,' replied Haldane wearily.

  'And that's what you're looking for? A way out.'

  'It’s a situation I can do nothing about.'

  'Complications?'

  'One or two,' said Haldane.

  'Is she married?'

  'Worse. But that's my problem. Or it was.'

  '
Was?'

  'I'd say so,' said Haldane. Lorna frowned. 'Believe me, he said. 'It's best it happened like it did.' He emptied his glass and put it down on the table and then he looked at her. 'Now then. what about you?' he said, changing the subject. 'What are you going to do?'

  Lorna smiled wanly. 'What else? Go back to England. To Philip. He wants us to get married next month. No frills. Just a quiet affair. Is there a flight from Athens tonight?'

  'I imagine so’ said Haldane. 'But that's ridiculous.

  You've only just arrived. You've done enough travelling for one day.'

  She nodded. 'Tomorrow then.'

  Haldane crossed to her. 'Stay for a while’ he said, putting on a smile 'Have a holiday.'

  Lorna studied him and then shook her head. 'No,' she said. 'I don't think that would be a good idea. And neither do you really. Tomorrow.'

  She was right and Haldane knew it. He nodded. 'I'll take you to a hotel.' He started to turn from her, intending to pick up her suitcase but she put a hand on his arm and checked him. 'No, Alan’ she said quietly. He looked into her eyes. 'Not a hotel. Please.'

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Bathed in moonlight, Haldane stood at the bedroom window and stared out into the night.

  He had made love to Lorna and with passion but in a strangely detached way. Practised, used to one another and sharing a mutual need, they had reached a climax together as they had always done from the first time they had been to bed together. He had heard her cry out and he had been aware of her fingernails scoring his back. But for him it had meant little more than a release of pent-up animal desire. Afterwards he had said the things that he knew she would want him to say. And he had held her in his arms until she closed her eyes and he thought that she was asleep. Then he had carefully eased himself away from her and got out of bed and slipped on his dressing gown. Standing at the window he had been conscious for a time of her gentle breathing. And then she had gone from his mind completely and his thoughts were filled by Annika.

  'Alan,' Lorna said quietly.

  He heard her distantly when she said his name a second time and he pulled himself out of his reverie and turned to her. 'I'm sorry,' he said with an apologetic smile. 'I didn't mean to wake you.'

  She sat up in the bed. 'I wasn't asleep. I've been watching you. You've been standing there for almost an hour.'

  'That long!' said Haldane, genuinely surprised. 'It seems like only a few minutes.' And then he added by way of explanation. 'Something on my mind.'

  'Someone,' she corrected. 'It's Annika, isn't it?'

  Haldane walked slowly over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it Lorna reached for a packet of cigarettes on the bedside table. Took two from it and lit them. She handed one to Haldane and then rested the ashtray on her lap.

  'Tell me about it,' she said.

  'There's nothing anyone can do.’ he assured her.

  'Perhaps not. But just the same. it might help.'

  Haldane gazed into the shadows on the far side of the room. He drew deeply on his cigarette and then slowly exhaled the smoke. Then he told her. About Mellina. his new found daughter and about Annika. Everything. She listened to his story without interruption and without once taking her eyes from his face. When he'd finished he picked up the ashtray from the bed and stubbed his cigarette into it and sighed. Lorna regarded him thoughtfully and sadly. 'And you really can't tell her?'

  Haldane shook his head. 'If I did I'd lose her. I'm certain of that. And she'd be hurt even more. Her sister and I were lovers. Elena is my child. And how could I ever convince her that I didn't abandon Melina? She'd hate me for that alone.'

  'So it's better that she thinks there's someone else, eh?"

  'Well isn't it?' he said. 'There's no way she can be told the truth. That would be too cruel. I couldn't face her.'

  Lorna reached for the ashtray and extinguished her cigarette. Then she looked at him again. 'My poor, poor Alan,' she said.

  Haldane was still asleep when Lorna left the house the next morning. The taxi driver put her suitcase into the boot of the old Mercedes and, not without some difficulty, she told him where she wanted to go.

  More than an hour later and after the driver had stopped at the police station in Neapolis to confirm his fare's destination. the taxi pulled up outside Annika Zeferis' house. Lorna got out and the driver nodded to show that he understood from her signs that he was to wait. Then she climbed the steps to the terrace.

  Annika has seen the taxi arrive and she was standing in the open French windows, surprised and unwelcoming, as Lorna approached.

  'May I come in?' asked Lorna without flinching under her hostile looks.

  Annika frowned. 'Are you alone?' she asked.

  'Yes. I have to talk to you.'

  Annika hesitated and then turned and moved back into the house. Lorna took this if not as an invitation at least as permission to follow her.

  'I cannot imagine what we have to talk about,' said Annika icily.

  'Yesterday,' replied Lorna. 'When you found Alan and me together. We have to talk about that.'

  Annika regarded her stonily. 'That is hardly any of my business, is it?' she said.

  Lorna nodded. 'Yes. It is. Because you made a mistake.

  A big one.'

  'Did I? Annika's tone had lost none of its frigidity.

  'Listen,' said Lorna. 'Alan Haldane and I had an affair.

  It lasted a long time but it ended three years ago. We were lovers. Were. Past tense.'

  Annika studied her disdainfully. 'Oh, really,' she said with a faint and bitter smile. 'And the present indicative?'

  'He was kissing me. I was upset. Close to hysteria. And yes, we went to bed together.'

  Annika winced mentally but her expression did not betray her pain. 'I am sorry,' she said. 'But I do not understand. Are you here to boast? Or for confession? Either way you have come to the wrong place. I am not in the market for spice. Nor am I a priest. And it is none of my concern.'

  Lorna nodded. 'Oh, but it is,' she said quietly. 'Very much so. Because Alan's in love with you.'

  Annika appeared unimpressed. 'I see,' she said. 'Neither to boast nor to confess. You are a messenger, is that it?'

  'No. Alan doesn't know I'm here. But that's the truth.

  He is in love with you. I thought it might be important to you to know that.'

  Annika continued to regard her coldly and then she crossed to the side table, took a cigarette from the box and lit it. 'If it was of any interest to me, you must forgive me if I doubt it,' she said. She turned to Lorna. 'In view of what you have told me.'

  Lorna sighed. 'You don't understand. Alan took me to bed last night because he was saying goodbye the way he knew I wanted him to say it. Because he's that kind of person.' She shrugged. 'That's all.'

  Annika frowned. 'Goodbye?'

  'Yes. I'm leaving today,' replied Lorna. 'The only reason I came in the first place is because of a very cruel and sick joke that someone played.' Annika's frown deepened. Lorna went on. 'I wrote to Alan. Out of the blue. To ask him if there was any chance of us picking up where we left off three years ago. The reply I got was a telegram saying that he'd booked me a seat on a flight yesterday. But when I arrived I found that he wasn't interested, that he didn't want to know and that he had written to me to say so. Though not quite as brutally as that I'm sure. And I also found out that Alan didn't send the telegram. Nor did he buy the ticket. And I can tell you, Crete's a helluva long way to come to get kicked in the stomach.'

  Annika, who had been studying her closely, suddenly realised that she was telling the truth. 'I am sorry,' she said, her expression softening. 'Forgive me. I think I understand now. But the telegram. The ticket. Who? Why?'

  'Good questions,' said Lorna bitterly. 'Alan swears he'll find out. And if he does God help whoever did it.' She glanced at her watch. 'Well, that's all I wanted to say. I must go or I'll miss my plane. And Alan will be wondering where the hell I've got to. The idea was that he'd drive me t
o the airport.'

  Annika studied her visitor thoughtfully. 'You have to love him very much,' she said. 'To do this for him.'

  'You're damned right I do,’ replied Lorna defiantly.

  'What is your name?'

  'Lorna.'

  Annika smiled. 'You have a great heart, Lorna,' she said, 'and much courage. I wish we were friends.'

  Lorna laughed hollowly. 'No way,' she said. 'You've got what I want.'

  'He has told you this? That he loves me.'

  Lorna nodded. 'Yes. And I only came here to confirm it to you.' She paused and then continued. 'Just in case you were in any doubt.'

  'There have been times when I have thought it,' said Annika.

  'Well, you were right. And if you love him hold on to that thought. No matter what cause he gives you to question it. No matter what happens.' She crossed to the French windows, hesitated and then turned back to Annika. 'Be good to him. He's a fine man. And a rare one. Someone worth hanging on to. I wish to God I'd been able to.'

  And then she was gone.

  Haldane was at the airport searching for her in the terminal building when Lorna arrived. He spotted her and strode over to her, frowning. 'Where the hell have you been?' he demanded. 'I looked all over Elounda for you. I said I'd drive you in, didn't I?'

  'Yes, but I took a taxi instead. There was something I had to do.'

  Haldane gave her a puzzled, questioning look but it was clear from her expression that she was not prepared to elaborate.

  'Good thing the plane was late arriving from Athens,' he muttered. 'It's only just unloading.'