by Kathy Kacer
driveway as an unspoken agreement passed between
them. “Eric finally figured it out,” Anna said. “It just took longer than we thought.”
Papa squeezed Anna once more. Before going
inside, Anna hung back with Eric.
“Please don’t be long, Annichka,” Papa said. “Your
grandmother was so sick with worry, she had to lie
down. She will want to see for herself that you are
okay.”
Anna promised she would be up in a few minutes.
“I’m so sorry I got us lost,” Eric moaned when
their parents had left. “I made such a mess of things.”
“It’s not your fault,” Anna replied. “We would have
been fine if that explosion hadn’t happened.”
“I just got so mixed up; I didn’t know which way
to go.”
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“I know. Please stop feeling so bad about this.
We’re both fine. Nothing happened. We were lucky
that man came along.” Anna pointed toward Eric’s
apartment. “Will you be in trouble?”
Eric hung his head. “Maybe. My parents were
pretty upset. It’s not going to make my mother any
happier about being here, that’s for sure.”
“Come with me tomorrow to the rehearsal,” Anna
pleaded. “It will make you feel better.” She knew
it didn’t sound like much of an offer. But Eric was
looking so miserable and she was desperate to find a way to help lift his mood.
“Okay,” he said, nodding yes.
Chapter
31
While Anna and Eric were still allowed to attend
orchestra rehearsals after their schoolwork was done, traveling around the city without adult supervision
was off limits—at least for now. Anna didn’t mind.
She had had enough of exploring for a while. She was content to go to classes and then head for the rehearsal hall. Eric often came with her, though it seemed to
Anna as if the light had gone out of him. He had been so bold and so curious before their unfortunate outing.
Now he was quiet and withdrawn. Some days he just
went home after classes without even saying good-
bye to her. I’m just going to give him some time, she told herself. She figured he still felt bad about getting them lost. In the meantime, the rehearsals for the
first concert were steaming ahead.
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In addition to practicing the Brahms symphony,
the musicians had gone on to learn the other four
pieces for the challenging program that was being
prepared for opening night. There were still days
when Toscanini appeared to be jumping out of his
skin as he ranted at the musicians to speed up, slow down, play softer, play louder, feel the music. When he yelled, it was only in Italian, but somehow the
musicians understood. Even Anna, from her position
in the audience, began to understand what he was
trying to communicate.
The weeks were speeding by and it was only days
away from the opening concert. Miraculously, the
concert hall was nearing completion. As promised,
the workers were nowhere to be seen during the day-
time rehearsals. They came out only at night, like
bats, to hammer and saw and paint and plaster. The
next day, it was as if tiny elves had worked through the night to get the hall one step closer to completion.
Gone was the tin roof, the floor was now a proper
shining wooden floor, and the seats were being lined up to accommodate the crowd that would be there on
opening night.
These days, Mr. Huberman was too busy to stop
and talk to Anna. She waved shyly to him from time
to time, and he always returned the greeting before he scurried across the concert hall, carrying sheet music,
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225
talking with Toscanini, approving the program that
was being printed, or doing whatever else needed to
be done. Everyone seemed to be demanding some-
thing of him, and he patiently stopped to address all their questions and problems.
One afternoon, Anna was walking home from
one of the last rehearsals, her head still filled with the musical notes that had echoed through the hall.
She couldn’t wait to tell Eric how Toscanini had gone up on his tiptoes to demonstrate how lightly he had
wanted the musicians to play a particular passage.
She hadn’t seen her friend for a few days and she
wanted to have a good long talk with him. As she
approached the apartment complex, she could see
him emerging from his building and she sped up to
catch him. But suddenly, she stopped in her tracks.
Eric was dragging a big suitcase behind him. Was
he going on a trip? How was that possible so close to the opening night of the symphony? She began to run
toward the building, calling out his name as she got closer. He stopped, put down the case, and waited
for her to catch up.
“Why have you got that suitcase?” she asked,
breathless. “Are you going somewhere?”
Eric looked down before replying. “We’re leaving.
Going back to Poland.” He nodded toward the road,
where his parents were piling suitcases onto the roof
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of a car. His younger sister stood close by, holding a doll in her arms and watching the whole thing.
What is he talking about? She had a sudden, fleeting memory of another conversation with Renata that
had started just like this. “You’re what? You mean now?”
“Yes. We’re taking this car back to Haifa and then
sailing away this evening.”
Anna couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “But
why?” she asked.
“It’s just become impossible for my family to be
here any longer, especially my mother,” he said. “I
told you all of this.”
Yes, he had told her that his mother found it hard
to adjust to life in Palestine, but they all did. That didn’t mean they should leave.
“And then after that explosion happened and my
parents thought they might have lost me …” Eric’s
voice trailed off.
Anna was fumbling about, trying to find some-
thing to say. “We were all really scared about that. But nothing happened to us.” She stared at him a moment
longer. “I can’t believe you’re leaving.”
Eric shrugged. “They’ve been talking about it for
a while. But it all came together a couple of days ago.
My mother refuses to stay another day. And there’s
nothing my father can do to convince her.”
“Eric, please stay!” she begged. “Maybe you can
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move in with us. I’m sure I can convince Papa.” She
knew she was sounding desperate.
Eric shook his head. “My parents would never
agree. We have to stay together as a family. There’s no other option.”
“Aren’t you ... aren’t you afraid of going back?”
Anna asked this carefully and hesitantly.
At that, he looked away. “I’m sure it will be fine.”
Fine? Fine! She wanted to scream out at Eric that nothing in Poland was fine. Had he
not heard the
radio reports? Every day the conditions for Jewish
people across Europe were getting worse and worse.
Hitler was gaining power. The laws and rules that he had introduced in Germany to restrict the freedom
of Jewish people were sweeping across Europe into
Hungary, Czechoslovakia, and, yes, Poland. Every
day there were new rants by Hitler. “The symbol of
evil is the living shape of the Jews,” he screamed one day through the radio. “We shall regain our health by eliminating the Jews,” he blasted in another message.
Each time, Papa or Baba quickly turned the radio
off when Anna entered the room, but not before she
had heard his hateful attack. Jewish families were
clamoring to get out of Europe, but there were fewer and fewer places for them to go. Didn’t Eric know
that? Didn’t his family know that? How could they
go back to a place that offered no security? It may be
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difficult in Palestine, but at least they were free here.
She wanted to say all of that to Eric, but to what end?
Would that stop him from leaving? She knew the
answer to that was no.
“Do you know what your father is going to do
when you get back?” she asked, quieter still. She knew that since they had left, Jewish musicians were being barred from playing in the orchestras of Europe.
Eric shook his head. “We have relatives who are
still there. They’re going to help us get settled.”
There was a long pause. “You’re going to miss the
concert.” Anna said this in barely a whisper.
“I know.”
Eric looked as if he might break down, and
Anna felt close to tears herself. She was terrified for Eric’s safety back in Poland. And she was losing a
friend here in Palestine. This was not what she had
imagined.
Eric’s father was calling him. The car was ready to
leave. There was no more time to talk. Anna stared
at Eric another moment and then flew forward and
threw her arms around his neck. “Stay safe,” she cried.
“I’ll try to write,” he said. He bent to pick up his suitcase, and stepped away to join his family. The car revved its engine and pulled away, leaving a cloud of dust behind. And a moment later, Eric was gone.
Chapter
32
Anna disappeared into her bedroom, refusing to
speak to Papa or even Baba when she tried to offer
Anna a slice of her apple cake. She threw herself
down on the bed and buried her face in her pillow,
squeezing her eyes shut and trying to stop the tears that were dampening the sheets under her face. Why is everything always so hard? So complicated? She had just started to feel like this country might provide a comfortable home for her and her family. She didn’t
feel singled out here. She was learning the language, understanding the people. She was beginning to
feel like a sabra. And now it felt as if everything had shattered around her. The city felt less safe, and her only good friend was leaving. It wasn’t fair. And
yes, she knew she was feeling sorry for herself and
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she should be worrying more about Eric. But in that
moment, a mountain of frustration came crashing
down on her. She felt hopeless and terri bly sad.
Finally, she rolled over on her side and glanced
at the bedroom wall. One of the new flowers that
she had collected from the beach and dried was
mounted in a tiny frame that her father had found for her. After looking it up in a book on flowers, she had discovered that it was a wild poppy, so much like the two red poppies that she had found in Poland—one
given to Renata and the other placed on her mother’s headstone before they left. This new flower reminded her of the adventure to the beach she had shared with Eric. She would never forget that—or him.
There was another soft knock and Baba’s worried
face appeared in the doorway. “May I come in?” Anna
nodded and sat up, wiping her face. Baba sat down
on the bed next to her. “I know about Eric,” she said.
“I’m so sorry.”
Anna nodded again, knowing how hard it must
be for Baba to talk to her about this painful moment.
“What will happen to him, Baba? I mean, when he
and his family are back in Poland.”
Baba sighed. “I wish I could tell you that every-
thing will be okay. But I’m afraid I can’t.”
“I don’t know what makes me sadder,” Anna said,
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“to think about Eric leaving here or to imagine him
back there.”
For a moment neither one of them spoke. Then
Baba said, “You know, Eric’s family is not the only
one to go. Your father told me that two violinists
from the orchestra along with their families are also going back, one to Germany and the other to Poland.
Apparently, they are also finding it too difficult here.”
Anna hadn’t known that. “But what’s going to
happen to the orchestra if Eric’s father and others
leave?”
“Your father said that Mr. Huberman is replacing
them with local musicians. The concert will go on as planned.”
Anna was silent again. “It’s been hard for me, too,
being here in Palestine,” she finally said. She told Baba about the times when she couldn’t understand
what Mrs. Rose or anyone else was saying. She talked about the mosquitoes that were so bad after a rainfall that not only did she have to keep her arms and legs covered, she also had to keep her mouth closed for
fear that she might swallow a few of them. She talked about missing Stefan and Renata and their house in
Krakow. And then she hesitated and continued more
softly. “And then a grenade drops on a train and I
worry that something worse might happen.”
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“Yes,” nodded Baba. “And on those days, I al-
ways remind myself what a miracle it was that
Mr. Huberman was able to get us out of Poland.”
There was another long pause before Baba con-
tinued talking. “Did you know that there are more
than a thousand people he brought here? Not just
the seventy musicians, but their family members, like me and so many others.”
Was it really that many people whose lives had
been saved? It didn’t make Eric’s leaving any easier, but yes, Anna knew there was much she had to be
grateful for.
“Come, Annichka,” Baba said at last. “I offered
you cake before and you turned me down. Won’t you
have a small piece?”
At that, Anna had to smile. Food was her grand-
mother’s favorite remedy. And while it would not take the pain away, it would remind her how lucky she was to live in this loving family. She nodded at Baba.
“And then, I would love to listen to you practice
the clarinet. And it would please your father so much.
He is terribly worried about you.” She paused and
then said, “You and your father can take turns on his clarinet. The music will help us all.”
Anna wasn’t sure she was ready to leave the
se curity of her room just yet. But Baba’s request was
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233
tempting. Playing the clarinet and losing herself in some music would help take her mind off Eric—at
least for a little while.
Anna wiped her face once more and finally smiled
again at her grandmother. “Perhaps Papa can also
teach me some of what Maestro Toscanini is teaching
him—minus the shouting in Italian!”
Anna’s grandmother hugged her tightly.
“Wonderful!”
Chapter
33
The night of the concert had finally arrived, and even though Papa kept insisting that they needed just a
few more days, “to make it perfect,” Anna knew it
was perfect already. She also knew she would never
convince her father of that. She dressed for the concert, putting on her best dress—the same one she had worn on the day she accompanied Papa to Warsaw
for his audition in front of Mr. Huberman. And just
like before, she wrapped the green scarf from Renata around her neck. Even though this time she didn’t
need it for luck, it was Anna’s way of bringing her
best friend with her to the concert. This was also the same outfit she had been wearing when she met Eric.
She was trying not to think about him too much; it
only plunged her into sadness. Even though it had
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only been a few days since Eric’s departure, Anna
hoped that a letter would arrive from him soon. It
was hard to wait.
Papa was running around the apartment,
looking just as lost and nervous as he had looked
on the first day Maestro Toscanini had arrived to
lead the rehearsal. He was wearing a formal black
tailcoat, a white vest, and a white shirt, which
Baba had starched so crisply it looked as if it might stand up on its own. He tugged at the collar and
readjusted his waistband until Anna finally had
to pull his hands away. “You look very handsome,
Papa,” she said. He smiled weakly in return.
Tonight, even Baba looked anxious. She fussed
in the mirror with her hair and adjusted her dress
a dozen times. “Annichka,” she moaned. “I look old
and … ugly!”
Anna laughed. “Baba, you look beautiful.” And
she believed it was true. She couldn’t remember
when she had seen her grandmother so dressed up.