by Carl Hancock
‘Fuck no!’ he answered quickly. ‘It brings on a bad head, and god knows I need a clear one to get through this fuck up of a day!’
Cyrus left it as it was, he moved nearer to Billy who stood in the shadows. ‘So what we got planned then?’
Billy pushed a chair his way and sat on the corner of the desk in front of it. ‘Take a seat…that was some night last night wasn’t it?’
Cyrus sat down. ‘Certainly was, just like old times! I can’t remember the last time I had an evening like that.’
‘Me too,’ Billy said. ‘Shame it had to be ruined by something I heard though.’
‘I don’t follow,’ Cyrus replied.
Billy was struggling to withhold his fury; his hands were trembling as he tried to determine if he was being played by Cyrus or if his ignorance was genuine. Through faded memories of the prior evening he recollected enough pieces of the puzzle to conclude that he had dropped enough hints at his unhappiness, enough maybe to alert Cyrus to create a fictional yet plausible explanation to palm off on him.
‘Why did you do it? Go behind my back like that’ he said in a tranquil but strained tone.
Cyrus shifted nervously in the seat. ‘What’s up Billy? What the hell are you going on about?’
The denial, the reluctance to accept his wrongdoing and the willingness to tell even more lies pushed him to snap, he raised his right leg and snapped it out straight with the base of his sole targeting Cyrus’s chest. As his foot impacted Cyrus flew straight back, the chair tipped away from under him. Caught off guard he fell against the concrete floor, his head cracking against the ground as he landed.
‘Now look what you made me do,’ Billy shouted rising to his feet. ‘You made me do that,’ he added circling the dazed man.
Cyrus raised his hands and placed them behind his head, he winced in pain as he realized he was losing blood in small magnitude. What hair he still had was becoming increasingly sticky and coloured.
‘I mean, how long have we known each other?’ Billy bent down and grabbed the upturned chair that his friend had been comfortably sitting on and gripped the leg tight before hurling it hard against the far wall. The chair narrowly missed Cyrus as he instinctively let his head drop to avoid further harm; his head hit the ground for a second time although softer than the first blow.
‘What the hell’s up with you Billy?’ Was all Cyrus could muster, a simple question for an answer to his unprovoked attack.
‘Answer my fuckin question first you weasel, how long?’ Billy bent over him; he grabbed hold of Cyrus by the throat. The self inflicted pain in his head had ceased, over shadowed and held back by the adrenaline pulsing through his veins. He squeezed tight and yanked him up until he was inches away from his face, close enough to see fear creeping into his eyes. ‘Tell me Cyrus,’ he coldly urged his silent friend. ‘Why after over 40 years, since we were in borstal together would you now sell me out to a man like Matt McQuaid?’ He was acting on impulse until that point; nothing was more solid confirmation than witnessing the realization in his victim’s eyes that his double dealings had been found out.
‘Billy, I’m sorry....’ he croaked.
Part of him was hoping he had got it wrong, that someone other than Cyrus had been gossiping about him. Now he knew that hope was useless, the damage had been done. He let his grip go and straightened himself up.
Seeing him scrawling on the floor at his feet he felt oddly sorry for Cyrus, the scrawny man before him had become a figure of ridicule that he himself had witnessed since his release, yet ignored. ‘Why Cyrus, just tell me why?’ He grabbed a handful of paper towels from the worktop beside the sink and threw them to him. His head was starting to ache again, this time with a vengeance although not as bad as the damage inflicted on his comrade.
Cyrus steadied himself on his feet and caught the paper towels, he scrunched them up and pushed them to the back of his head squirming as he made contact. He sat down on the chair as Billy repositioned it to its original location. He remained mindful to the many times that he had witnessed the exact same scenario played out to gain trust. Attack them, hurt them and play sorry until such a time to repeat the assault when its least expected. The desired result was knocking the victim’s confidence even more prompting them to willingly talk.
‘Lots of reasons Billy, mainly simple cash. He offered to continue bunging me wages each week for doing nothing.’
‘Nothing but grassing on me you mean,’ he retorted.
‘It wasn’t like that; I hardly told him anything just tit bits that he would have heard off the street anyway. I needed the dough Billy, you don’t know what it’s been like for me lately, it’s getting harder and harder to earn with all the technology about.’
The statement was something that he couldn’t argue with, over the years inside hearing the escapades of the passing youth he had wondered how he would manage to earn in the modern day. The bygone era that they belonged to had been relatively simple compared to today, the armed blags they carried out would be considered a form of liberty suicide today. The art of armed robbery had long since died out at the hands of the financial institutions who were now so confident of their security they didn’t even have the courtesy to partition the tellers away from the punters. It was like teasing a child with a toy knowing full well that they couldn’t get at it. Now you could see the cash, smell it and nearly even touch it but the fear of being caught was the best security they ever needed. They wished to give the impression that it was accessible whilst insuring that it wasn’t.
‘That’s something that we all have to face, we can’t all turn into a grass just because we’re feeling sorry for ourselves. Where’s your pride?’ He moved around the desk away from Cyrus who looked slightly relieved and touched the side of his now cold coffee cup and tutted.
‘Like I said it wasn’t just that Billy,’ he reasoned. ‘The cash I mean.’
Billy took the paper cup and discarded in it the waste paper bin. ‘Well what the fuck else then?’
Cyrus dabbed the towels to his head and looked at them, he pressed them against his head again and lent forward slightly before answering. ‘He’s been good to me over the years, since your Suzy got me the job with him. He’s a good bloke to work for, he looks after his own and pays well, I mean better than most and if you treat him with respect then he’ll do the same for you. Can’t ask for more than that can you? Not many people would give someone with my record a job.’
Billy let out an obscenity followed by a sigh of disbelief at what he was hearing, he shook his head wildly. ‘And I’ve never been good to you? I don’t deserve a bit of loyalty for everything that I’ve done for you over the years?’ Have you forgotten the lengths I went to so you didn’t get sent down for twenty on that botched security van in 79?’ He raised his voice as he said it, his long term memory sifting through all the strokes he had pulled for him at one time or another.
‘Course not,’ Cyrus answered amazed at his ability to recall everything that happened in his favour yet completely ignore what had been done for him in return. ‘But with us it’s been one way for so long, I’ve been giving without complaint over the years until I’m at breaking point myself. I’ve only managed to get myself on my feet over the last few years and that’s mainly thanks to Matt. And I know it’s only for Suzy’s sake and that if it wasn’t for her then I’d be out on the street but it’s been the only security I’ve had.’
‘Yeah…well you could say that’s down to me, if we hadn’t been mates then Suzy wouldn’t have looked out for you like that would she?’
Cyrus couldn’t believe how he could distort and bend the truth to suit his own agenda, he was feeling angry that his good deeds were being overlooked while he was being punished for one indiscretion that didn’t amount to much. ‘Fuck you Billy you ungrateful cunt,’ he snapped. ‘Your daughter was repaying a debt, not that I would have ever asked her too but she obviously has more kindness in her than you do!’
Billy was surpr
ised at the sudden and unexpected aggression he was witnessing. ‘That’s more like the old Cyrus that I remember,’ he said. ‘Where’s he been hiding?’
‘I’m not the one at fault here,’ he spat. ‘If anyone’s to blame then you are for sitting on this place instead of providing for your family when you went away,’ he gestured around him.
‘What the hell’s that got to do with you?’ Billy said suspecting a hint of jealousy. ‘Just because you weren’t sensible enough to put something aside when you were earning big paydays you shift the blame onto others who were. You should be minted with all the jobs we pulled.’
The blood flow had started to stop; he had suffered worse injuries over his years in the crooked business. He threw the towels in the waste paper bin from his seat. ‘Maybe I would be if I hadn’t been supporting your family Billy’ he reminded him. ‘And this is the thanks I get. Not even an opportunity to present my side before you lash out.’
Billy was bemused; puzzled at the riddles he was being subjected to and aggrieved at the suggestion that he had in some way failed his family, more importantly his two girls.
‘What fuckin tripe are you spewing now you stupid little fuck? Sheila had the money from her mother’s house after the old bag croaked; she didn’t need anything from me!’
‘Ill informed again Billy,’ he replied with a certain amount of glee. ‘Seemed the old girl was a shopaholic on the side, after the inheritance tax and paying the unpaid demands on her estate there was barely enough left for a new washing machine let alone to see them through your time.’ Watching Billy’s face drop as he began to take in the harsh truth bought him a sense of satisfaction.
‘No…’ he said defiantly. ‘Sheila would have said something if that were true.’
Cyrus had him on the proverbial ropes; he was hesitating and doubting what he previously believed, faced with the accusation of leaving his family penniless rendered him temporarily speechless.
‘What could she have said? She didn’t know about this place, she thought like we all did that you were skint. The good woman that she was and is decided that you had enough to worry about with the sentencing, she didn’t want to burden you anymore.’
Billy listened as he spoke, shocked and upset at the thought that his girls may have gone without necessities while all the time he could have done something about it. His time had been selfishly spent without any concern of making ends meet, feeding and bringing up two children alone with no idea of what the next day may bring. If it wasn’t bad enough that he had not been present in their lives, now he had to contend with the realization that he had let them down from a totally different perspective.
Moments passed in silence before Billy broke the building tension with a gesture of submission. ‘So how much? Dough, I mean?’
Billy was embarrassed, that much was obvious as Cyrus shrugged his shoulders in response. ‘I dunno, I never kept a tally just gave as and when she needed something. The pittance she was claiming from the state only stretched so far, it wasn’t enough for clothes and such, believe me girls are expensive to keep in fashion!’
‘When did you stop?’ Billy asked trying to piece it together.
‘When Suzy started earning she was able to supplement the household, she threw in what she could leaving me free to concentrate on my own expenses for a change,’ he replied.
‘Just as well she did that college course then, better pay packet with a qualification behind you’ he hinted indirectly.
Cyrus nodded silently.
‘I suppose that was down to you as well then? I heard college fees are expensive, too expensive for a single mother on benefits.’
Cyrus nodded again. ‘She was desperate to do it, Sheila told her not to bother me with it, but she did anyway and came to see me begging for the money. I couldn’t say no.’
‘I… I didn’t know,’ he apologized as the image flashed through his mind. He felt a fool for not questioning things before.
‘And the smokes? Phone cards?’ he asked. Cyrus didn’t speak, so he knew the answer. That the small luxuries he had received from Sheila’s weekly visits in the early years had also been at his expense. ‘Fuck it!’ he shouted and thumped his hands down on the desk in anger. He felt stupid and regretted his hasty actions, wishing he had just asked for an explanation instead. ‘I’m sorry Cyrus,’ he said before pausing. ‘And thank you for everything,’ he added painfully swallowing his pride.
Chapter Ten
The up market boutique had an air of class about it, the expensive price tags acted as a deterrent to those indecisive or not fully committed to their proposals. The streets were over crowded with tourists and window shoppers taking the chance of a breath of fresh city air during their 1 hour freedom. In the heart of the West End the location itself suggested each client walking through the door would almost certainly be leaving with a small fortune spent.
Matt hung back as Suzy sifted through the hanging garments; his mind was elsewhere although not suicidal enough to confess that just then. Part of him had clearly known what the timing of his proposal would bring, yet he would have appreciated and benefited from a stay of execution from the immediate battle plans aimed at securing a summer wedding.
‘What about this one Matt?’ she asked arousing him from his slumber of thoughts.
He shifted in her direction eyeing the dress as she slid her hand across the silky material; his eyes fell momentarily onto the inflated price tag. Perhaps he should have been grateful she hadn’t opted for a handmade version, choosing to be less frugal instead. Although money concerns connected to the wedding were furthest from his mind it was only natural that when faced with the dilemma he was in it paled into insignificance.
‘Whatever you want Suzy,’ he said looking over her shoulder. ‘But what I don’t understand is why your mother had to come along as chaperone!’
Sheila was seated at the counter wistfully flicking through the latest bridal catalogues with a freshly served glass of bubbly sat beside her.
‘Ssshhh Matt,’ she urged him quietly and thumped his arm gently. ‘She’ll hear you.’
He rubbed his arm with insincere pain and repeated his statement.
Suzy glanced round at her mother proudly cooing over the glamorous images in the book.
‘She’s having a hard time at home at the moment, she said Dads up to his old tricks again.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘He’s no saint Matt, I know that as well as anyone but it took a lot for her to take him back and now he’s behaving like the last seventeen years never happened. I don’t know what he gets up to and I don’t want to but he’s finding the money to set Tina up in some beauty salon and that doesn’t come cheap!’
‘Suzy!’ her Mother bellowed. ‘Come and have a look at this one,’ she chirped, her loud brash manner drawing both their attentions and the entire shop with it.
Suzy told her to wait a moment and turned back to her betrothed.
‘Looks happy enough to me babe, besides if your Dads learnt anything from his experiences it’s to be careful. Don’t worry about him.’
Suzy shook her head. ‘It’s not the business side that I’m concerned about; he’s out at all hours. Mum suspects he’s seeing other woman again, I don’t think she could recover from that again.’
‘What makes her think that? Even he can’t be that stupid,’ he lied hoping to sound sincere. ‘There must be loads of valid reasons why he needs to stay out’ he reasoned.
If it wasn’t bad enough the man’s actions were causing him so much grief, now he had to listen to the waves he was stirring and consoling the woman he was upsetting.
‘You’re right, it’s more than that, apparently he’s short tempered, argumentative even and obviously it’s not money worries because of the salon thing, it can only be one thing.’
Withholding the truth from her, whether it be in her own best interests or not was not the start to marriage he had hoped to achieve. Listening to her woes he was
unable to put her mind at rest, the salon had come as a surprise to him although he had known about a new property acquired but wrongly assumed it was to be another den of debauchery. He couldn’t help but feel that he would be left picking up the pieces to that one too, should Billy come clean to O’Donnell.
‘Forget about if for now, let’s do what we came here to do and then I’ll take you two ladies out to lunch, Ok?’
She smiled and took his advice, joining her mother to enjoy the day as planned she immediately took advantage of the offer of bubbly and left him to wander the shop alone.
The second floor was dedicated as a sanctuary for the groom, vast amounts of wedding attire in its various but complete entireties offering something for everyone. Although capable of browsing, the decision was best left in his bride to be hands, he was sure of that.
As he peered out the window overlooking the main thoroughfare of the street he couldn’t help but overhear the conversation emanating from the adjoining aisle. Money was certainly an obstacle for most people; it was once for him included regardless of what others may think to look at him now. He was in a privileged position all be it through his own hard work and determination, but he could still remember the times he had to go hungry through lack of food. The times that he woke before school to breathing mist from his mouth before even throwing the single blanket from him and the icicles that formed overnight on the inside of the single panned glass in every room of the house. Tough times had been overcome and rewarded although only through tragedy that had left unseen scars.
‘Can I help you with anything Sir?’
Matt turned surprised to be faced with a young female shop assistant, her eager to please and assist smile etched across her face, slightly strained and offered through gritted teeth.
‘No thanks,’ he replied noting her disgruntlement as she looked him up and down.
‘As you wish!’
Left alone as the assistant waltzed away his ears fell back to the ongoing argument concerning finances, or lack of. It reminded him how fortunate he was to have Suzy, with similar desires and goals their future was rosy, their nuptials were being planned with no similar concerns to the young couple whose conversation he was now privy to. He sat down at the seat provided for shoe fitting.