by lanie love
“You know I will.”
“Sweetheart, what did you do with the note?” I ask her and she stares at me as the she replays the events back in her head.
“I left it on the kitchen table.” She says, after a minute. “Please, I don’t ever want to go back there.”
“Never.” I take her into my arms. “You never have to go back there ever again.”
****
Jane
“Hey, Nate.” My heart is lighter at seeing him here. I’ve missed him so much.
“Hey, Peanut. I was just about to come and get you. Michael had Karen make you pancakes.” I grin as he slides my plate over. I didn’t even realize how hungry I was. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” I say, through the bite of bacon I just took.
“Michael is very worried about you, you know? Last night, I thought I was going to have to sedate him.”
“I know.” I pick at a piece of pancake on my plate with my fork. “I feel bad. I should have warned him that this could happen.”
“Why didn’t you?” He’s skeptical of me feeling I have to hide something from Michael. A part of him is skeptical about him, but he’s more upset that I set him up to deal with me without warning.
“I just wanted to be a regular person for once.” I say, finally eating the piece of pancake. It’s so delicious I take another bite. “When I’m with him, I feel strong and in control. I was stupid to think I wouldn’t slip back again.”
“You are a regular person. Everyone has struggles in some form or another. You just have to get a handle on yours. That’s why I want you to start therapy again. I know a few doctor’s here I can recommend and I want to prescribe you something to help take the edge off your stress.”
“No drugs.” I say, straight out. “You know how out of it they make me feel. I’m getting married. I want to experience it all. I don’t want to be some zombie from Night of the Living Dead walking around aimlessly in my own life.”
“There’s nothing wrong with taking something to help. Especially now that things are changing for you. Your routine has been grossly disrupted.”
“No.” I tell him, putting my foot down. “I’ve been dealing with the changes just fine. I welcome them. I’m finally happy, Nate, I truly am.”
“I can see that.” He says with a smile. “But what if this happens again? What if it’s worse and I’m not here to help you or Michael through it?”
“It won’t happen again. I know how to avoid the triggers and it’s not like I’m going to be opening up any more bug filled engagement present packages.”
“About that.” He pauses, giving me a minute to ready myself for whatever he’s about to say. “Your upcoming wedding is in the papers up north. Bernadette knows you’re getting married to Michael.”
“I knew it.” I try to stop myself from panicking. “As much as she hates me. She won’t let me be happy, especially, with Michael. I knew she was coming for me and she won’t stop until she gets me.”
“We won’t let her get you again.” He helps me with the glass of milk my hands are shaking too bad to hold steady.
“We?” I smile after taking a sip.
“Yeah, well, I’m not all the way on board with this marriage yet, but I’m getting there.”
I laugh genuinely for the first time since yesterday.
****
Michael
Once my meeting with Jimmy and the Rochester Group is done, I head back to my office. As I walk, I’m greeted by staff telling me to say hello to Jane for them. I can’t help but smile. Before Jane, none of these people would have dared approach me, let alone speak. I can’t but wonder if the change is in them or me. Who am I kidding? I know I’ve changed. More than once, Jimmy or Betty has caught me grinning for absolutely no reason. I’m even finding Donna tolerable.
I sit down at my desk and let the guilt overtake me. Jane has brought so much joy in my life. I hate that I can’t give her some of that back. Right now, I would settle for giving her some peace of mind. Kyle sent the box and now the note to the police to see if they can make heads or tails of it. I already know they won’t find a damn thing. Bernadette’s evil, but she’s not stupid. The only thing I can do until she surfaces, which I’m sure she will, is cut off her legs. I already spoke to Dad and he is quietly looking into the Clayson’s finances and both he and Jimmy are trying to find anything I can use to bring her down.
Something Jane said comes to mind about her father and I switch gears. Something about him and his role in this just doesn’t add up. How was he so loving and caring with Jane, only to leave her in the hands of Bernadette? I’m sure he knew what she was doing to her. Richard didn’t come around too often while I was growing up, especially after the kidnapping, but when I did see him, he never struck me as a weak man that would allow someone to abuse his own daughter.
I read his latest background check and I note the address of Clayson Automotive, now located in San Francisco. I think it’s time I had a little talk with good ol’ Richard.
Betty makes the travel arrangements for me. She’s able to get Kyle and me a flight out tonight. I’ll hate being so far away from my girl when she needs me the most, but this is something that just can’t wait. Our future depends on it.
****
Beth
My heart weeps for Grandma Jane and the thought of her curled up in a ball afraid of bugs. It’s just so unimaginable. So lost in my thoughts, I didn’t hear my office door open.
“Sorry, Miss Mason, I thought you were gone for the day.” My evening custodian tells me.
I frown at him, wondering why he’s here so early until I check the time. I was supposed to be out of here an hour ago. I can’t believe I got so caught up.
“I was just leaving. Have a good night.” I grab my stuff and head out to my car. My shoulders slump walking up to it, remembering the long drive I have ahead of me. Right now, I’ll be smack dab in rush hour traffic. The 405 will be packed and it will take me twice as long to get home. I could go back to my old place for tonight, but I’m sure Beau is there now, or he will be since he isn’t coming back to Laguna Hills.
I slide into the car, tossing my stuff on the seat next to me. I notice the peach pie box still where I left it on the center console. Island flashes into my mind. If he hadn’t had me so damn sexed up, I could have handled things with Beau better. I could have softened whatever blow I was going to give to him that had me put on this damn red lipstick this morning. I fan myself in the stifling heat. It’s still 80 damn degrees. I start the engine and blast the AC, turning the car towards the Marina instead of the freeway. I drive into Island’s complex, but I had forgotten about the security gate. Luckily, the guard lets me in without question, saying, I’m on the visitor’s list and telling me where to park.
My feet dance as the elevator climbs up to the 12th-floor penthouse. I smile sheepishly at the old lady who gets in carrying a fluffy white Bichon puppy squirming around in her arms trying to get to me. He either wants to lick me to death or bite my face off, not sure which, so I stay on my side of the elevator. My face flushes when she asks me who I’m here to see, but the blast of cold air from the AC hits me, taking care of that. I don’t even give the elevator time to open up all the way before I make a hasty exit. It takes all I have to make a fist and knock on his door.
“You are an asshole.” I yell at him when he answers. Both our heads swing to the little lady and her dog. She’s now staring concerned at Island and me.
“Come in.” He demands, giving his neighbor a quick wave of reassurance before closing the door.
“What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong is that I told you we shouldn’t do this and you refuse to listen. You just had to keep at it and keep at it and keep at it.” I shove his chest.
My tirade comes to an end when I hear laughter coming from his kitchen. His head swings back to listen as well. My mouth falls open at whatever the hell it is I walked in on.
“My busine
ss partners.” He says and that’s all I need to hear. I’m about to bolt out the door before he stops me. He grabs my arm and takes me past the dining room to his bedroom just beyond it. I can still hear the smattering of dishes and laughter. “What happened?”
“You happened. Why couldn’t you just leave well enough alone?”
“Because that would mean leaving you alone and I can’t do that and I know damn well you don’t want me to do that.”
“You are so full of shit. You are so full of yourself.”
“I’m not full of myself. I am full of you. I’ve been full of you since the moment I saw you and the fucked-up part is, I can’t get enough of you. I don’t think I will ever get enough of you.” His pupils fill the white of his eyes like a cat about to strike its prey. I move to get out of the line of fire, but he pins me against the door. His mouth descends, forcing mine open with his tongue. He tastes of rich red wine. Delicious. My mouth can’t get enough of the taste of him. His hands are at my sides, frantically pulling my skirt up my waist. “Fuuuck.” He moans when he feels I’m without panties. His erection is seeking me out through his pants. My desire to feel it inside me takes over and I can’t even remember the anger that brought me here in the first place.
“I want you.” I admit.
Clothes go flying in every direction, torn away from our bodies as we give in to our need to feel each other’s skin. My bare legs wrap around him as he lifts me by the ass and carries me over to the bed. My back hits the mattress with him on top of me, my legs still wrapped around his waist with nothing between us I cry out from the sheer pleasure of him entering me. He’s rough and visceral and my body is craving for more.
“Shhh.” He says, warning me that his dinner guest will hear us.
I try to keep quiet as he hammers into me, but it’s impossible. It’s been too long and he feels too good. His hand is cupping my cheek, demanding that I not turn away from him. His eyes are so intently staring into mine, I cannot look away even if I tried. My bottom lip trembles from not being able to handle how good he feels. “Who’s making you feel this fucking good?”
“You.” I whimper.
“Aw, fuck, baby.” He hisses when I rake my nails down his back and grab his ass, pushing him deeper into me. His thumb rubs over my lips. He growls when I open my mouth, capturing it, biting down to keep myself from yelling out. I am a second away from coming. “You are so fucking wet. It’s so fucking good. Jesus, it’s too good.”
I come so violently at his words, I shake the bed. He buries his face in my shoulder, sinking his teeth into the soft skin to muffle his moans as he comes deep and hard inside of me, his breath blowing my hair that’s fanning out on his pillow.
“Oh, my God.” I breathe out still feeling the high from sex after ten minutes of absolute stillness. “I’m still feeling borderline delirium.”
“I needed that so much.” He says, with the same effort it’s taking me to breathe.
“Me too.”
I confess the truth. I really needed that so damn much. As crazy as my life has been these last few weeks, I really needed that. I feel centered and calm here with him. It’s both frightening and liberating at the same time and I don’t understand it, how being weak for a man can make me feel so strong.
Indian Summer 1968
Michael
“Hey, you’re home early.” Jane says when I walk over to kiss her.
“I wasn’t getting anything done, so I just called it a day. Where’s Nathan?”
“He’s upstairs getting ready to go to some kind of mental health conference.” I laugh at the funny face she makes.
“I’m heading out to San Francisco in a few hours.” I say and watch as her face falls.
“What could you possibly need to do there, Michael?”
“I need to speak to your father.”
“No.” She says, getting up from her resting spot on the couch. Her blue jean bell bottoms drag along the wall to wall carpet, completely covering her bare feet as she walks back and forth in front of me, holding herself to keep it together.
“Jane, please, understand why I have to do this.”
“I understand fully why you’re doing it. I just think it is a waste of time and energy. What could he possibly tell you that you could actually believe to be true?”
“I need to hear it from him. Even if he lies, I still need to know what possessed that man to allow Bernadette to do what she did. How could he not protect you?”
“You don’t have to go all the way to San Francisco for that. I can tell you the answer right now. It’s because he didn’t give a damn.”
“I think Michael’s right, Jane.” Nathan says to her. She stops her pacing to face him at the bottom of the stairs. “Our father didn’t say much about it, but I got the feeling he was hiding something when we spoke.”
“You spoke to him?” She’s just as surprised as I am.
“Once. When he first arrived in San Francisco. He came to my office to talk about you.”
“What about her?” I feel myself getting ticked off all over again as I pull Jane into my arms instinctively to protect her from her father.
“He just asked about how she was doing and how much he missed her.” The words seem to be bitter on his tongue. “The way he spoke about her at the time, I took it as a threat, but now thinking back on it, maybe it was a warning.”
“A warning how?” Jane asks before I had a chance to.
“Bernadette always knew we lived in San Francisco, Peanut. I believe the reason she moved there was to come after you.”
“And your dad coming to talk to you, tipped you off that they were there.” I say.
“I moved Jane back to LA the next day.” He stops talking to check his wristwatch. “Well, in any case, I’m off to my meeting. Jane, I’ll see you later. Michael, have a safe trip.”
“Are you going to be okay here by yourself?” My worry returns full force now that Nathan is gone. “I can delay until he comes back.”
“No, Karen is here and your mom is on her way over to finish up plans for her fundraiser. How long will you be gone?”
“I should be home by tomorrow night.” I kiss the top of her head.
“I don’t like this, Michael.” She whispers to me. “I don’t like this one bit, so Just hurry and come back home to me, okay?”
“I will.” I say as I comfort her. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
****
Kyle and I check into our Suites at Estabrook San Francisco around 10 p.m. I call Jane to let her know I made it safely and spend the next hour reassuring her that everything will work out before I grab dinner and call it a night. The next morning, I push around the breakfast on my plate I had room-service send up, biding my time until Clayson’s Automotive opens.
Once there, Kyle and I are immediately catered to by greedy salesmen. I suppose we look the part of men seriously looking to buy. When I demand to speak to Mr. Clayson in person, I’m escorted to the receptionist who announces my arrival to Richard. Against his better judgment, Kyle waits for me while I go have a little chat with my ol’ pal.
“Michael Mason. I knew it wouldn’t be long before you darkened my doorstep, ever since my little girl got tangled up with you. What is it about my women you find so appealing? First my wife, now my daughter, or is it me you’re trying to screw?”
“Good to see you’re still the same narcissistic egomaniac after all these years and for the record, you can keep that old battle ax you’re married to, so relax.”
“Then, what the hell do you want?”
“One thing: Why? Why did you let Bernadette abuse your daughter?”
“Did Rose send you here to ask me this? Is she in San Francisco with you? I’d like to see her.”
“I’m not letting you anywhere near her. And no, she didn’t send me here to ask you a damn thing. She wants nothing to do with you. I’m here to satisfy my own curiosity.”
“And what’s in this for me
because satisfying you just doesn’t cut it.”
“Do you want to keep this little company you have here, Dick.” I call him by the ridiculous nickname he started using in honor of his idol Richard Nixon, all while looking around to bring home my point. “I know your ass is hanging on by a thread already. All that money my parents gave you and you still can’t keep it together. You are a goddamn loser and I will swallow this company up? One phone call… one phone call to my father or brother and I will have them ruin you.”
“My, my, my, look at you all grown up, yet still so dumb and full of cum. You think this shit means anything to me? My life was over the day I lost her.”
“Who?”
He unlocks his desk, takes out a framed photo, and hands it to me.
“My Barbara Rose.” He says. The raw emotion is evident in his voice. He takes a bottle of whiskey and a glass from the same locked drawer and drinks it.
I look at the picture of Barbara Rose. It’s a fading black and white Kodak, but her radiance still shines through. I can see where Jane gets her warmth. Thank God, she had her for a mother, if only for a short while. Seeing a way in, I change tactics, pretending to soften to his pain.
“It’s obvious you still love her. She was a very beautiful woman.”
“She was.” He says. I hand him back the photo and he grins longingly at it. His eyes glaze over in sentimental memory. “She was my world.”
“What happened to her, Dick?” I take a seat, giving the bastard my undivided attention.
“She happened.” He says, pouring another drink. No wonder his business is in the toilet if this is his normal 9am activity. “Rose, happened.”
“Jane?”
“I don’t know what her brother was thinking, giving her that ridiculous name.” He sneers at me. But I remain unfazed. “She’s the reason I lost my Barbara Rose.”
“Jane?”
“Yes! Shit, can’t you say anything else?” His mouth turns into a snarl looking at me. “I don’t know what they see in you.”