Why hadn’t she sat up front? Shadow didn’t know whether to sit beside her or choose another pew. A person’s talk with the Almighty was something personal, something he did by himself. His awkwardness was short-lived when she suddenly began talking loud enough to wake the saints.
“And Lord, thank You for not letting me accidentally hang Brother Rivers when I accidentally roped him. I promise I’ll practice more when I get a chance, but You and I both know I meant to lasso that other man.”
Shadow chose to sit beside her. He needed to be close in case someone heard her and came in. If they had to run, better he could get to her quickly.
“Lay it on his heart, Lord, to help me. You know I didn’t mean to take that . . .” One swollen eye suddenly opened slightly wider and peered at Shadow. Then her head quickly turned and bowed again. “Well, You know I said that I would explain better when and if I ever get there. I pray that You forgive me for not going to church that day. I promise never to miss another Sunday ever again. I learned my lesson.
“Oh, and one last thing”—her fingers traced the trail of a cross from her forehead to her tummy—“make us better.”
“Amen.” Shadow’s agreement echoed in unison with the end of her prayer. He stood and waited for her to do the same. “You ready to get on the trail?”
She stood face-to-face for the first time in any kind of light. “I thought Shadow Rivers would be bigger.”
“I am bigger sometimes.” Shadow noticed that her hair was more wheat colored than blond, hung almost to her waist, and had been tied back with a string of violet ribbon. Her voice might sound young, but her figure was not boyish by any man’s calculations. She curved in all the right places. Dangerously.
He wanted to see her eyes. “You said something about getting water to wash your face. I saw a pump out back near Dollar. Maybe the preacher won’t mind me using the offering plate or that container over there to fetch you some.”
She gasped. “That’s holy water. Use the plate.”
“It’s the water that’s been blessed, not the container. I’ll go to hell for a lot worse than that.” One of her eyes seemed to narrow at his statement, and Shadow thought maybe it would be best to fetch the plate, save time and an argument. He had just one question to ask before he left. “Are we finished or are we gonna stay a while? If we’re staying, I’m going to round us up something to eat out of my saddlebags. If not, then we’ll make camp somewhere down the road.”
“I thought we would have our talk and, if you agree, then we’ll rest until the six-ten from Fort Worth pulls in. The whistle will wake us.”
Good idea. Shadow nodded. “Then I’ll get the beef jerky and some water and be right back.”
Odessa was grateful for the few moments alone. It would give her time to decide how much or how little to tell him. She couldn’t leave several facts out, but maybe she could find a way to stretch the truth so it wouldn’t make him change his mind about helping her.
Then it dawned on her where she was. Deciding how much of a lie she should tell while standing in church was a sure indication that this might not go as well as she wanted. Let’s see, Lord. Which kind of lie would this be? A black lie? No, it isn’t a total falsehood. A yellow lie? Partly, since I’ve been coward enough to run away in the first place. A white lie? That’s it. A lie for someone’s good. She glanced toward the altar. There was no need to destroy what she’d spent her whole life trying to disprove.
Odessa looked around for a piece of cloth to wash with and spotted only the altar adornments. She would just have to tear off her shirttail, dust it real well, then rinse it out good. Unfortunately, the sanctuary was small enough that it didn’t have a curtained-off area to hang choir robes. So, she would have nowhere for privacy. She’d just have to make Shadow turn his back while she freshened up more. She didn’t need him finding out where she hid her loot, and she sure didn’t want him looking at her like he had when he’d helped her dismount or she’d never . . .
“You sure are thinking hard about something.”
Odessa gasped, her heart leaping in her chest. She hadn’t heard him return. But she wouldn’t let him know he’d frightened her out of a day of her life. She definitely didn’t want him to see any hint of what she’d been thinking. The thought of sliding down his leg had sent heat rushing to her cheeks. She could only hope the candlelight wasn’t enough to reveal her blush. “Back already, Mr. Rivers?”
“Look, if we’re going to work together, we don’t have time to be so polite. Call me Shad and I’ll take the same shortcut with you. Now where do you want me to put these?” He juggled the water-filled offering plate in one hand and something rolled up in the other.
“Set it on the back pew for now,” she instructed, assuming it was the beef jerky. “And if you don’t mind, I’ll ask you to take a seat up front.”
“You don’t like company while you eat?” He set the roll of jerky on the pew and propped the plate on one edge of the roll. At her look of curiosity, he offered an explanation. “The seat leans. Don’t want to spill the water.”
She heard something different in his tone. Almost as if he was disappointed. He’d been kind enough to get the things they needed. The least she could do was share a meal with him. She would have to get used to doing so in the next few days. “I’d rather your back was turned for a while. Just sit there for a few minutes until I’m finished.”
“That reminds me. I brought you this.” Shadow reached into his trail coat and pulled out a fresh bandanna from an inside pocket. “I thought you might prefer something clean to use as a washcloth.”
She accepted his gift and appreciated his thoughtfulness. “Would you like to be first?”
“Bustles before boots.” He winked and headed up the aisle.
He was a gentleman of sorts and that eased some of the questions in Odessa’s mind about whether choosing him was a wise decision. She turned, dunked the bandanna into the water, and let it soak generously before ringing it out. With anticipation she lifted it to her eyes and squeezed the material just enough to let a few drops of water wash through her lashes. “Ohhh, that feels good.”
She wiped the dust from the corner of her eyes, her cheeks and forehead, along her neck and the valley of her breasts. “This is pure heaven, Shad.”
“I could do without the moans. Just get yourself washed.”
Odessa heard the slight strangle in his words, as if he were setting his jaw. “Oh, sorry. It just felt so good.” A long sigh escaped her.
“You’re making it hard on a man, Odessa . . .” He cursed to himself. “Will you just be done with it!”
Maybe it was the sound of her name in that low, husky baritone. Maybe it was the sudden crispness of his demand to end the washing. Or maybe it was the simple fact that he looked like he was braced for a shoot-out with somebody that made her realize why he was so disturbed. He thought she sounded like one of the doves in her mother’s brothel during the throes of passion.
The bandanna flew across her skin as she wiped like a madwoman to clean the hay dust away. Then she immediately readjusted the lacy chemise she wore beneath her shirt and refastened her buttons. “There, I’m finished,” she said loudly, making sure she kept any more expressions of relief to herself. She rinsed the bandanna and held it out to him. “You’re next.”
It took a minute for him to turn around and she didn’t want to think about why. So she busied herself with finding a way not to spill the water while trying to unroll the cloth that stored the beef jerky. His boots clicked across the slatted floor.
“Thanks, hold the bandanna a minute and I’ll pour out that water.” Shadow grabbed the offering plate, stepped to the door, and slung out the water. He returned and placed the plate on the opposite pew from where she sat, then asked for the cloth. “I’ll clean my face and hands for now. Somewhere down the trail we’ll get a bath.”
She sensed him looking at her, intensely. We’ll? She wasn’t going to let him think that she had read
any meaning into his words or his stare, nor was she threatened by either. She had fought off many a man’s advance in all the years growing up in a brothel. He wouldn’t be the first one who tried to take what wasn’t being offered. She hadn’t reached adulthood untarnished by being stupid or easily swayed. “Of course we will. We’ll have to clean up before we get to Jerkwater if what I have planned will work.”
“What’s your plan?” He took a seat beside her as he washed his face, then his gun hand. “But before you tell me, I want to know why you’re sitting here instead of up there. Seems to me you deliberately chose the back pew.”
Well, this was it. The perfect opening to explain what had happened to her. At least some of it. “I’m the daughter of a local madam in Jerkwater, and I’m told an outlaw named Moon Kilmore is my father. I wouldn’t know—I’ve never met the man. Anyway, the back pew is the only pew I’ve ever been allowed to sit on. The good folks don’t like their soiled doves sitting in front of them.”
“You’re not one.”
Odessa’s heart filled with something so warm that she felt the icy wall of defense she had built around it thaw slightly. “How do you know?” she asked softly.
“You have innocent ways, Des. A man doesn’t need daylight to notice something like that.”
The warmth of his words flooded her eyes, urging her to look up at him. She realized his were a curious shade of blue-gray, like bluebonnets or a far horizon breaking into a stretch of Texas sky. “I seem to be saying thank you a lot.”
“No need to say anything. Fact is fact.” He reached out and gently wiped away the tear that trickled down her cheek. “Are you running from the brothel?”
His touch was equally warm, his fingers igniting something in her bloodstream, something promising in her soul. She shook her head and immediately regretted it when he misunderstood and let his hand fall back to his side. “Someone thought I tried to rob them and I didn’t mean to. It’s a long story. I’ll tell you down the road, I promise. Right now all you need to know is that I really did try to give the loot back. But I saw something I shouldn’t have when I attempted to return it. I got scared and fled town, afraid they’d call the sheriff and have me jailed. Then I thought it all out and decided I would go to Sheriff James myself.”
The urgency to make him understand erupted in her tone. “You see, I’ve made a couple of friends I don’t want to lose. People in Jerkwater who are willing to look past my bad blood.”
“There’s no such thing as bad blood, only bad choices. Everybody makes those, and you shouldn’t be held responsible for the ones anyone else made.”
There was something hidden in his quiet insistence. Something he had experienced personally. If she weren’t sitting in church, she would swear anger now set his jaw.
Odessa waited but he said no more. She had heard of quiet fury before, but this was the first time she’d ever witnessed it. She could only guess at the past mistake that had forced his strong reaction.
She flung her hands wide, shrugging her shoulders. “Bad blood or not, every time I try to go back to talk to the sheriff, someone keeps stopping me. I thought if I traveled with a man as a married couple, maybe with a gunman, then that would at least get me back there. Once we hit town, you could go with me to the sheriff’s office and I can tell him what really happened. Then you could leave after I paid you.” Odessa crossed her heart. “I promise, I do have money of my own, Shad. I have some with me, but we’ll need that for traveling expenses. I’ll have to pay the rest of whatever you ask once we get there.”
“Something’s not adding up right.” His eyes seemed to stare through her. “Why is there a thousand-dollar reward on your head?”
“A thousand dollars?” She bolted to her feet. “Someone will kill me for that amount.”
“Not while I’m around they won’t.” Shad gently took her hand and guided her back down. “Here, eat that.” He handed her a piece of the forgotten jerky. “No telling when we’ll get another chance.”
“You’ll help me then . . . for sure?”
“Definitely.”
“How much?” she asked cautiously, not exactly certain what a man like him would charge for his services. What had that dime novel said? Forty dollars a week and keep. She took a bite of the jerky.
“What am I worth to you?”
“My future’s in your hands. You name it.”
“Got a hundred dollars?”
She had a lot more on her but she couldn’t let him know how much. “Yeah.”
“Then I’ll take the hundred and a promise.”
She stopped chewing. “What kind of promise?”
“That when I say come close, you do. Every time. Without question.” His eyes locked with hers. “And exactly how I tell you to.”
Odessa looked into that blue horizon and sensed that he would accept nothing else for the bargain. Still, she had to know his reason. “Why?”
“So your plan has a chance to work. You want to make people believe we’re married, don’t you?”
Though she suspected his demand for the closeness stemmed from something far more than logic, she finally whispered, “Done.”
Chapter 4
Odessa lay across the back pew restless, staring up into the rafters of the steeple lit by the beginning rays of dawn. Prisms of color filtering from stained-glass windows danced along the church walls warning that morning had come and there would be no more chance to sleep.
The pew in front of hers creaked beneath Shadow’s weight as he shifted and stirred, mumbling something. She couldn’t tell what he said, but he was clearly talking. Maybe he was dreaming.
She didn’t want to wake him until the whistle announced the arrival of the 6:10. Best to let him get as much rest as possible. She wanted him alert if any trouble presented itself that morning.
Suddenly, Shadow sat up and turned toward her, his eyes wide, unseeing. “Don’t do this, Laurie. Don’t walk away. Give us time.” The words exited in a ragged rush of desperation. “Forgive me . . . just this once.”
Emotion that she didn’t know him well enough to recognize etched his face. Maybe heartache. Maybe loss. Maybe the end of his world. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Whoever Laurie was to him, she counted deeply in his life. But she had apparently left him. What had he done to need her forgiveness?
Compassion consumed Odessa and she gently reached out to touch his arm, hoping the touch would wake him from his dream talk. Instead, Shadow looked at her with such need that she almost wished she was this Laurie person and could somehow soothe his troubled heart.
“That’s it,” he whispered softly, his ungloved hand reaching out to take hers and lace their fingers together. “Never stop wanting me. Come near me one last time. Just lean against my heart. I’ll die if you don’t.”
It was clear he thought she was Laurie. Odessa couldn’t have moved away if she’d wanted to. The plea in his voice was so compelling in its need that she was amazed it had come from such a rough-edged man.
“Nothing’s changed for me. I’ll make things up to you.” His thumb caressed her thumb, the race of his pulse pressing warmly against her palm. “You won’t ever be sorry for loving me.”
He lifted their hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles one at a time, his breath brushing each as if it were a tropical wind wafting over them. Gooseflesh pebbled up Odessa’s wrist and arm, igniting heat in the wake of his sensuous touch. Attraction shivered its way to the tips of her toes.
Her own breath quickened and she realized she had to stop him before he went any further. She was not Laurie. She would be no woman’s replacement. She saw that too often in the brothel. If she was ever the woman in some man’s dream, she wanted it to be her face he was seeing. Her touch he needed so desperately.
She attempted to pull away without startling him. “Wake up, Shad. It’s me, Odessa Kilmore. You’re asleep.”
She watched contrasting feelings war through him. Confusion about her abrupt withdrawal. Rea
lization that he’d been dream talking. Discomfort about what he might have said or done.
His brow furrowed for a moment as his wayward hand unlocked itself from hers and ran through his hair. Unease filled his eyes as he looked at her and apologized. “I hope I didn’t do anything to . . .” He couldn’t quite meet her gaze. “Hurt you.”
Odessa shook her head and motioned toward his hat lying on the pew. “You didn’t. You were only mumbling in your sleep.” Had he hurt Laurie? A man with his kind of background could be . . . no, she wasn’t going to do what others did to her. She refused to judge him. “Maybe we’d better be on our way.”
The unease didn’t leave him. A guardedness that had not been there before now layered the space that divided them as he rose to gather his wits. She didn’t want to set out on the road together with uncertainty standing between them. “Whoever Laurie was is your business,” she said quietly. “I don’t care if you mumble her name all night as long as your terms of our agreement have nothing to do with her.”
His eyes met hers and it felt as if they were burning the very edges of her soul. “Not a damned thing,” he assured her.
As Odessa straightened the wrinkles from her clothing as best she could, she silently added another type to the list of falsehoods that had been told in church that morning. A bold-faced lie.
She felt the untruth clear down to her bones, which were being rattled as a whistle blared over the countryside. The slatted boards that made up the church’s flooring shuddered, revealing the 6:10 was coming in right on time. “Good, ’cause we have a train to catch.”
“We’re taking the train?” He moved toward the sanctuary doors. “What about Dollar?”
“I’ve got enough to see we all ride in style for the trip.”
Hearing her plan seemed to be just what the man needed to put his unease away. “Remind me later that I want to ask how you make your money. I think I could use some advice, boss.”
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