NO
DON’T TOUCH ME
YOU CAN’T TOUCH ME ANYMORE!
I’M SO PISSED I FORGOT HOW TO RHYME
I HATE YOU SO MUCH I FORGOT
WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT
WHO WANTS TO GET MEXICAN FOOD?
JAY-Z DO SOMETHING!
I am the single white female of
you
die
in
the
end.
This
is do or die
these are the new rules I play by
this is the end of the line, k, old white guy?
Ladies testify
it’s time to put a measure on the floor
against chromosome Y
All
In favor
Say
I,
Amber Rose Tamblyn, of sound body and mind, do solemnly swear, upon and into this great day numbered twenty-one of such and such month in the year two thousand and tweeelve, to finish this book and these poemies, so help me the cast of The Help. But prior to such suchyness, I bequeath, bestow, and nudge gently with offering my every fortune to this bottle of aged bourbon, that browned-downer, that silkless lung humper, that unlawful talk-softener, that best friend of THE FUCKING COPS (I’ll punch you right in the cork, old-timer!). And in this estate thine shalt find the following: my many remotes for my one TV, a funny-looking pair of socks purchased in the great state of Utah, that box of childhood report cards I promised my mom I would go through, my absolutely unwavering terror about the wedding, and the remaining muscle relaxers I dare not take tonight, nay, given unto me by a guy named Ned. Those sleepy sternum steepers, those fun hunters, those actress, smacktressters.
Amen? Sign here.
March 24, 2013
Hi, I was supposed to send these flowers
to something called a “wife”?
If you are this person, please enjoy and reply
with a definition. David.
Wife: Someone who is a female partner in a continuing marital relationship.
Someone who thinks that definition better defines you, actually.
Someone who loves your love for obscure British satire zines.
Someone who looks through your old pictures
and tells you she would make love
to every era of you.
Even the underage ones.
Someone who likes to make things weirder than you do.
Someone who isn’t afraid to tell you how you really feel
about that one Woody Allen movie.
Someone who looks forward to fifty more years
of explaining basic directions to you.
No, really.
Someone who likes watching you
watch Guy Maddin films.
Someone who thinks your period jokes are funny,
but not in front of her feminist friends.
That’s no fun for everyone.
Someone who loves that you want her
to pick out your new spectacles
because she is the one who will have to look at them every day.
Someone who is not afraid to write in the third person
because she lives in the third person, for a living.
Someone who can never get enough of your love
for bands that came out of Boston in the nineties.
Someone who needs the way you kiss.
The way you graze on a lip like straw
in the mouth of a Southern kid.
Someone who watched you help a blind man at a festival
so he wouldn’t miss the band reunion of Jesus Lizard,
even though all your fans wouldn’t leave you alone.
Someone who will never leave you
alone.
Someone only you could make laugh
during a documentary about the Holocaust,
during sex,
during study breaks of the bleakest women.
Someone you said “Don’t get obsessed” to after the first poem,
knowing full well she would.
Knowing full well,
it’s how you became
hers.
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From: Amber Rose
to:
date: Sat, Dec 28, 2013 at 9:13 AM
subject: Inquiry
Hi there,
My name is Amber Tamblyn and I am a poet and actress from New York and Los Angeles. I am currently working on a poem about Fay for my next collection of poems about the lives and deaths of child-star actresses, which will be published by HarperCollins in 2015. I wanted to know if it might be possible to interview Ms. DeWitt? So as to be transparent, I would need to ask about the 1965 incident involving Ray Allen. From a writing perspective, I’m interested in Fay’s life before and after this incident, told by her—how she felt and how it changed her—rather than reading an article about it. Ms. DeWitt is the antithesis of what I have studied in many regards and I’m interested in her story. I imagine this might be a sensitive subject, but I assure you I am not a reporter and have no intention to paint her untruthfully. I hope she might consider it.
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