Chapter 26
Alexander’s nose crinkled as the fumes of his steaming plate wrapped themselves around him. Lamb swimming in gravy, with potatoes and vegetables piled high. His stomach groaned either in protest or encouragement, he didn’t know. He didn’t move to pick up his fork.
As he scoped the long table, he noticed the usual culprits were also not eating. Shrooms was staring off into space beside Gollum, who was tearing her meat apart savagely but then just swirling it around the plate. Snowflake – Simon- had his arms folded across his chest defiantly, scowling at the plate of Yorkshire puddings like they owed him money. And then there was Seb a little further down. He still looked exhausted, which made Alexander wonder if he had actually gone for a nap at all. Seb was also staring. His eyes were glazed and vacant as he tapped his fork with his finger in a repetitive beat.
What had he said to Nico in his little session? Alexander had heard his name called but when he had reached the door to Nico’s office, it was closed and Seb was- presumably- behind it. He hadn’t stayed lingering for him to look like a weird little stalker, and instead had gone and sat in the lounge and had found himself in Gollum’s company. Not that she had noticed.
Beside Seb was Daisy, who was giving Alexander some serious death stares. He had tried to ignore her and Jennifer, who was on her other side, but it was pretty damn impossible given that he found himself looking at Seb every ten seconds checking he was still there.
Jennifer had been elbowing her friend in the side and whispering harshly into her ear for the past twenty minutes, her brown eyes flitting to Alexander quickly before darting away. But Daisy just carried on staring; only breaking away long enough to scoop another forkful of food into her over-sized mouth. Oh yeah, you can eat, can’t you? Why doesn’t that surprise me?
Nico was at the head of the table as usual, trying to look at ease but it was obvious that he was keeping tabs on how much all of his precious ‘Cured’ were consuming. Probably worried that they’d all wither away and he’d have nothing to show for all his hard work. Mr. Muscle and Sleeve had almost finished their plates, starved after their work-out session. Alexander figured they had given themselves a project to keep themselves busy and their minds elsewhere. After all, now that they were all back human again, they could actually manipulate their bodies in a way they hadn’t been able to when they had been only half alive. But Alexander didn’t care about that. He’d grown to like how he looked. On the outside. Not so much on the inside. And his inside seemed to be making itself a lot more known recently.
“Hilda and Carlos slaved over this dinner, the least you could do is try it,” prompted Nico in his usual well-spoken, easy manner.
“You could have given us microwave meals and we wouldn’t have known the difference,” said Snowflake, arching a white eyebrow. Alexander smirked and waited for Nico’s reaction. He was disappointed. As always.
Nico took the comment in his stride and replied, “You have been denied such wonderful food for so long, I would have thought you would have revelled in rediscovering your lost taste buds.”
“Well cooked lamb doesn’t make up for what you have done,” sneered Snowflake, not even looking at Nico anymore. Man, this guy had some serious shit against the doctor, Alexander almost felt grateful that there was someone worse off than him.
Nico watched Snowflake, a glimmer of sadness in his grey eyes. “I am sorry, Simon, for what I have done. I don’t know how else I can express myself.”
“You tortured me for months. You put me in hibernation five times.”
Nico hung his head as if in shame but shifted his focus to his plate and stabbed his fork into a boiled potato. “We discussed that in our session. My door is always open if you want to talk in private.”
Snowflake just raised his lip with contempt before scraping his chair across the wooden floor and leaving.
Nico winced when Snowflake booted the door and Alexander’s heart leaped at the tortured look on his face. It looked like the hurt Nico was showing was from the wounds he had inflicted. The terrible, terrible physical and emotional wounds that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend.
Maybe Nico did have feelings.
Maybe he was sickened by what he had to do just to give himself an ego boost and show his worth.
I hope so.
The rest of the Cured started to depart and began their pointless wanderings until it was an appropriate time to call it a night and close themselves in their rooms.
Seb had somehow caught himself in a conversation with Daisy and Jennifer as they were leaving the dining room so Alexander took off alone. He headed out onto the patio, needing to feel the biting chill against his skin again so he knew he wasn’t just a ghost of himself, like a bone picked clean.
“Hey, Shitbrick!”
Alexander yowled like a cat that had gotten its tail trodden on as he was yanked back by his ear. He slapped away the arm that the pinching fingers were attached to as he spun, and held his throbbing ear. “Ow!”
It was Daisy. Of course it was Daisy. She was smaller than Alexander had first thought, but all five foot three of her was fuming.
“What the hell did you do to Jennifer?!” she hissed. Her short blonde hair was flat and lifeless on top of her head like a swimming cap, and her black eyebrows were drawn together with fury. Her black cotton jacket hung like a bin bag over her small frame.
“I didn’t do anything,” Alexander snapped back, his teeth gnashing as if he still had his fangs.
“She said you kissed her and told her to fuck off. You really hurt her!”
“Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t be her Prince Charming.”
Daisy looked him up and down with contempt. “I have no idea what she sees in you.”
“Me neither! I mean, it’s pretty clear that I’m fucking losing it!” Alexander’s retort was choked by a sob. He didn’t know why he had said that. He wasn’t supposed to say that. Usually he was so full of quick, witty quips that they just flew out whenever his buttons were pressed. He was supposed to say something sarcastic. Something to hide the truth behind. Why was it so hard to do that now? Why was he laying all his cards out on the table? Even Daisy seemed surprised at the emotion that flooded his words.
But the truth was out now and there was no turning back.
“You have no idea what is going on with me, so don’t come over and start giving me shit,” said Alexander, his aggravation vying with despair. “Go back to brown-nosing Nico and leave me the hell alone. Not everyone can deal with all of this as well as you. Look around you-” He swung his arms out, gesturing to the expanse of the mansion. There was nobody around them except Jennifer who he had caught peeping around the corner. “We’re all falling apart except for you. You’ve come out all fresh as – well – a fucking daisy.”
Tears welled in her huge blue eyes and the sight made Alexander’s blood run cold. Something had relented inside her. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t know me, Alexander. I’ve suffered, too.” Her voice held a tremble but when she blinked, her tears vanished. “Now pull yourself together and if I ever catch you around Jennifer again I’ll-”
“What?” asked Alexander, mocking. “You’ll kill me?”
She sneered, looking him up and down once more. With vicious zeal, she said, “I’ll think of something.”
When she turned, he muttered, “Whatever”, as she made her way back to Jennifer inside, but his mind was reeling over what she had said.
She had suffered by Nico’s hand? Then why was she so damn happy with him?
Alexander stayed slumped on one of the deck chairs for a good two hours, just staring at the sky and trying to focus on anything but the churning torment inside his skull.
Oh, look, that cloud looks like a dinosaur.
I wonder if Nico will ever give us some chocolate pudding. I could murder a chocolate pudding right now. Or Nico.
Where’s Seb?
No, don’t think about Seb. You’re turni
ng into a creepy stalker.
A creepy stalker that’s totally smitten.
No, Alexander does not get smitten. I do not get butterflies and I do not feel anything.
I feel nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Man, I wish I felt nothing.
Alexander started pacing. It was so irritating not having to do anything. He’d kill to go back to Crimson Moon and just dance the night away. Not like they’d even want him back now that he was tainted.
Unease and discomfort made his brain itch. Part of him wanted to get on Daisy’s nerves just for something to do. Maybe it would end up in a fist fight. He would really get his rocks off on a fist fight right about now. Get the adrenaline pumping. Get the blood flowing. Spilling.
Even now with his humanity back, he still felt that savage, primal glee of slaughter. And he knew why that hadn’t ebbed away. It hadn’t been his vampirism that had fuelled his desire to maim and get lost in the melee of battle – it was his anger. The deep, incessant, brewing anger that settled in the pit of his stomach and burned like acid. The anger he had for himself for what he had done.
It had nearly turned him rogue in the first few years of being a vampire but luckily, he had had Godfrey and Varsee to pull him back and punish him, teach him, fix him. Even if it was just a veneer. A veneer that was now falling free.
He stormed back into the house in search for someone, anyone. Daisy. Seb. Snowflake. Anyone.
Thankfully, it was Seb who he found first, heading up the first flight of stairs. He noticed Alexander racing along the hallway and turned to face him as he stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “Hey,” said Alexander, breathless.
Seb stepped down, closing the distance between them with worry in his eyes. “You look like crap, and that’s coming from me. Are you okay?”
Alexander worried his lip. “No… no not really.”
Seb jerked his thumb up the stairs. “Look, I was gonna go back to my room but-” He studied his blond friend. “Do you want me to hang with you for a bit?”
“I want to go back to my room.”
“Okay. C’mon.” Alexander followed him up the stairs. To his relief, when they reached his door, Seb followed him inside.
Alexander noticed the time on the clock by his bed. “It’s only eight-thirty.”
“We can sit and talk for a while.”
With his back to Seb, Alexander smiled and the creasing of his eyes let a tear escape. He quickly wiped it away and turned back around. “Okay, sounds good.”
“I mean, who does she think she is going after me like that?” said Alexander. He had been bitching about Daisy to Seb for the past half an hour. He was tucked under his duvet, still fully clothed, with his back propped against the headboard. Seb was at the foot of the bed, his legs crossed and facing him. “I can’t believe she touched me. Ick.” He swatted his ear as if he could still feel her stabbing fingers. “And then she had the gall to put herself in the same boat as the rest of us. If she were in the same boat, she wouldn’t be cosying up to Nico so damn much.”
Seb sighed, curling up on himself. “She has been through a lot.”
“Oh yeah, how would you know?” asked Alexander, the bitterness was still in his tone but it wasn’t directed at Seb. He didn’t seem to notice anyway.
“She told me.”
Alexander winced at a stab in his heart close to betrayal. But then he shrugged off the feeling with an inward laugh. Why was he so bothered about Seb talking to Daisy anyway? Oh, who was he kidding?
“Okay then, enlighten me. What has she been through?” He crossed his arms over his slim chest.
Seb held his signature frown as his eyes dropped to the duvet. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this.” Alexander opened his mouth to try and coax him but he went on anyway. “When Daisy was Turned, in 1966, she had returned to her home and… killed her parents.” Seb heaved a sigh. “Her little sister had been out and Daisy had fled after realising what she had done and had never returned. Now her sister is in hospital with leukaemia. Daisy has wanted to be there for her but the hospital hasn’t been letting her in because she was a vampire. And now she’s not. She wanted to be human so she could be there for her sister before she inevitably passes. That’s why she’s so grateful that Nico has done this to her.”
Alexander blinked and a beat passed before he uttered, “Fuck.”
Seb nodded. “Yeah, I know.”
“So, if she was Turned in 1966, then her little sister must be like, what? In her late seventies?”
Seb shrugged. “Probably.”
“So, not so little anymore then.”
“At least she has someone to go back to,” mumbled Seb with his head still bent down.
Alexander felt a twang inside him, like the yank of his heartstrings. “You could come back with me.”
Seb looked at him through his brows. “Yeah?”
Alexander smiled, fighting back the fluttering of butterflies in his stomach. Alexander does not get butterflies. Oh, to hell with it. He was getting butterflies. Hard.
“Yeah, sure, why not?” He shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. “The house is a little crowded but I’m sure we could fit you in somewhere. I could get Robin to sleep on the sofa downstairs and you could have his room. Or you could share my room.”
“So, who exactly do you share a house with?” Seb asked, completing unfazed by Alexander’s blithe invitation to his bedroom. Well, they were already sharing a bed so it wasn’t much of a stretch.
“Well, there’s my sister Varsee, of course. I don’t go anywhere without her.” Except here. He swallowed hard. “And then there’s her progeny, Evie, and her boyfriend slash ex-Maker, Caius.”
“Ex-Maker?”
“Yeah, she was a vampire but then Nico cured her. She was the first of the ‘Cured’, I guess. But then my sister Turned her back.”
“But we can’t be Turned back.”
Alexander felt his words like the slash of a whip. “I know. But she could. She wasn’t infected like we are. Anyway,” Alexander quickly backtracked, “So, there’s my sister, Evie and Caius, and then Robin. He’s Caius’ progeny. And an exquisite progeny at that.” He smiled down at his lap. “He’s a good kid. Bit of a loud-mouth but I guess I can’t complain.”
“The pot calling the kettle black.”
Alexander laughed. “Exactly.”
“Do you have any progenies of your own?”
Alexander shook his head. “I gave up on that years ago. I’ve seen too many of them meet the sun by the hands of the human authorities. You?”
Seb shook his head. “I had no desire to be a Maker. Not after what mine had done to me.” He looked to the window and after a heavy silence, asked, “So, where do you all live?”
“We have this farmhouse. It’s a little Delores Umbridge on the inside, but its home.”
“Sounds nice,” commented Seb, sounding wistful.
Nostalgia hit Alexander hard. “It really was.”
“You’re going to get to see them again, Alexander.”
Alexander nodded, although his conviction was slowly ebbing away. “I’m just a little anxious about when I do.” If I do. “I don’t know what my sister’s going to think of me now. I’ll grow old. I’ll get frail. And then I’ll die.” The word left his mouth in a fearful, choking gasp. “Are you afraid of death, Seb?”
Seb shrugged, looking not at all concerned. “Not really. I guess everything needs to end at some point.”
“That’s exactly it. Yet, when I was a vampire, I didn’t think that was true. I never really thought about death because I didn’t feel like I needed to. I was immortal. I mean, sure, just because you’re a vampire doesn’t mean you’re going to last forever. But I was immortal and I had kick ass reflexes so I felt pretty indestructible. But now… I’ve been thinking about death a lot more and it scares the hell out of me.”
“But why?” asked Seb, his voice still a little hoarse and gravelly but Alexander
could tell he was trying to make it softer. “You’ve lived a long life, surely you feel fulfilled?”
Alexander shook his head. “It’s not that. It’s not that death will prevent me from living. Because living like this isn’t much fun for me. But it’s what is waiting for me when I die.” He squeezed his eyes shut when they began to ache. “I don’t believe in Heaven or Hell, but I believe that my wife and my son are waiting for me on the other side. And I just- I can’t face them.” He shook his head, sobs lodging in his throat. “They hate me. I just- I can’t handle that. The thought of them staring down at me with pure scorn. It’s just- it’s too much.”
“You don’t know that will happen. They might be happy to see you again. To be reunited.”
Alexander shook his head more, fighting off his comforting words. “I don’t deserve that. I deserve their hate.” He flinched and opened his eyes at the warm touch on his leg from over the duvet. He looked over to Seb who had his hand pressed on the lump of his thigh.
On his face was a pinched smile. “You are too hard on yourself.”
Alexander scoffed. “Look who’s talking. You won’t even let yourself sleep.”
At this, Seb’s smile fell and he pulled back. His hand left Alexander’s thigh and he instantly regretted what he had said.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” said Seb, but his voice was faint as he looked down at his crossed legs. “It’s true. My thoughts are as black as yours. When I had heard you screaming last night, I had just awoken from my own nightmare. It was of my Maker. He was forcing me to kill a family. I was hacking at their limbs with a blunt axe, their bloody spray painting my face and I was… smiling. The wicked, savage, black-eyed and gleaming fanged smiled of a wild vampire. They were screaming. Unholy screams that woke me, covered in cold sweat. When I heard your screams, I thought they were remnants of my dream, but then you started calling out your son’s name and then I found you.”
The Progeny Page 42