Notwithstanding the amount of his “bills payable,” Mr. Halfacre considered himself a very prudent man: first, because he insisted on having no book debts; second, because he always took another man’s paper for a larger amount than he had given of his own, for any specific lot or lots; thirdly, and lastly, because he was careful to “extend himself,” at the risk of other persons. There is no question, had all his lots been sold as he had inventoried them; had his debts been paid; and had he not spent his money a little faster than it was bona fide made, that Henry Halfacre, Esq. would have been a very rich man. As he managed, however, by means of getting portions of the paper he received discounted, to maintain a fine figure account in the bank, and to pay all current demands, he began to be known as the rich Mr. Halfacre. But one of his children, the fair Eudosia, was out; and as she had some distance to make in the better society of the town, ere she could pass for aristocratic, it was wisely determined that a golden bridge should be thrown across the dividing chasm. A hundred-dollar pocket-handkerchief, it was hoped, would serve for the key-stone, and then all the ends of life would be attained. As to a husband, a pretty girl like Eudosia, and the daughter of a man of “four figure” lots, might get one any day.
Honor O’Flagherty was both short-legged and short-breathed. She felt the full importance of her mission; and having an extensive acquaintance among the other Milesians of the town, and of her class, she stopped no less than eleven times to communicate the magnitude of Miss Dosie’s purchase. To two particular favorites she actually showed me, under solemn promise of secrecy; and to four others she promised a peep some day, after her bossee had fairly worn me. In this manner my arrival was circulated prematurely in certain coteries, the pretty mouths and fine voices that spoke of my marvels, being quite unconscious that they were circulating news that had reached their ears via Honor O’Flagherty, Biddy Noon, and Kathleen Brady.
Mr. Halfacre occupied a very genteel residence in Broadway, where he and his enjoyed the full benefit of all the dust, noise, and commotion of that great thoroughfare. This house had been purchased and mortgaged, generally simultaneous operations with this great operator, as soon as he had “inventoried” half a million. It was a sort of patent of nobility to live in Broadway; and the acquisition of such a residence was like the purchase of a marquiseta in Italy. When Eudosia was fairly in possession of a hundred-dollar pocket-handkerchief, the great seal might be said to be attached to the document that was to elevate the Halfacres throughout all future time.
Now the beautiful Eudosia—for beautiful, and even lovely, this glorious-looking creature was, in spite of a very badly modulated voice, certain inroads upon the fitness of things in the way of expression, and a want of a knowledge of the finesse of fine life—now the beautiful Eudosia had an intimate friend named Clara Caverly, who was as unlike her as possible, in character, education, habits, and appearance; and yet who was firmly her friend. The attachment was one of childhood and accident—the two girls having been neighbors and school-fellows until they had got to like each other, after the manner in which young people form such friendships, to wear away under the friction of the world, and the pressure of time. Mr. Caverly was a lawyer of good practice, fair reputation, and respectable family. His wife happened to be a lady from her cradle; and the daughter had experienced the advantage of as great a blessing. Still Mr. Caverly was what the world of New York, in 1832, called poor; that is to say, he had no known bank-stock, did not own a lot on the island, was director of neither bank nor insurance company, and lived in a modest two-story house, in White street. It is true his practice supported his family, and enabled him to invest in bonds and mortgages two or three thousand a-year; and he owned the fee of some fifteen or eighteen farms in Orange county, that were falling in from three-lives leases, and which had been in his family ever since the seventeenth century. But, at a period of prosperity like that which prevailed in 1832, 3, 4, 5, and 6, the hereditary dollar was not worth more than twelve and a half cents, as compared with the “inventoried” dollar. As there is something, after all, in a historical name, and the Caverleys [sic] still had the best of it, in the way of society, Eudosia was permitted to continue the visits in White street, even after her own family were in full possession in Broadway, and Henry Halfacre, Esq., had got to be enumerated among the Manhattan nabobs. Clara Caverly was in Broadway when Honor O’Flagherty arrived with me, out of breath, in consequence of the shortness of her legs, and the necessity of making up for lost time.
“There, Miss Dosie,” cried the exulting housemaid, for such was Honor’s domestic rank, though preferred to so honorable and confidential a mission—“There, Miss Dosie, there it is, and it’s a jewel.”
“What has Honor brought you now?” asked Clara Caverly in her quiet way, for she saw by the brilliant eyes and flushed cheeks of her friend that it was something the other would have pleasure in conversing about. “You make so many purchases, dear Eudosia, that I should think you would weary of them.”
“What, weary of beautiful dresses? Never, Clara, never! That might do for White street, but in Broadway one is never tired of such things—see,” laying me out at full length in her lap, “this is a pocket-handkerchief—I wish your opinion of it.”
Clara examined me very closely, and, in spite of something like a frown, and an expression of dissatisfaction that gathered about her pretty face—for Clara was pretty, too—I could detect some of the latent feelings of the sex, as she gazed at my exquisite lace, perfect ornamental work, and unequaled fineness. Still, her education and habits triumphed, and she would not commend what she regarded as ingenuity misspent, and tasteless, because senseless, luxury.
“This handkerchief cost one hundred dollars, Clara,” said Eudosia, deliberately and with emphasis, imitating, as near as possible, the tone of Bobbinet & Co.
“Is it possible, Eudosia! What a sum to pay for so useless a thing!”
“Useless! Do you call a pocket-handkerchief useless?”
“Quite so, when it is made in a way to render it out of the question to put it to the uses for which it was designed. I should as soon think of trimming gum shoes with satin, as to trim a handkerchief in that style.”
“Style? Yes, I flatter myself it IS style to have a handkerchief that cost a hundred dollars. Why, Clara Caverly, the highest priced thing of this sort that was ever before sold in New York only came to seventy-nine dollars. Mine is superior to all, by twenty-one dollars!”
Clara Caverly sighed. It was not with regret, or envy, or any unworthy feeling, however; it was a fair, honest, moral sigh, that had its birth in the thought of how much good a hundred dollars might have done, properly applied. It was under the influence of this feeling, too, that she said, somewhat inopportunely it must be confessed, though quite innocently—
“Well, Eudosia, I am glad you can afford such a luxury, at all events. Now is a good time to get your subscription to the Widows’ and Orphans’ Society. Mrs. Thoughtful has desired me to ask for it half a dozen times; I dare say it has escaped you that you are quite a twelvemonth in arrear.”
“Now a good time to ask for three dollars! What, just when I’ve paid a hundred dollars for a pocket-handkerchief? That was not said with your usual good sense, my dear. People must be made of money to pay out so much at one time.”
“When may I tell Mrs. Thoughtful, then, that you will send it to her?”
“I am sure that is more than I can say. Pa will be in no hurry to give me more money soon, and I want, at this moment, near a hundred dollars’ worth of articles of dress to make a decent appearance. The Society can be in no such hurry for its subscriptions; they must amount to a good deal.”
“Not if never paid. Shall I lend you the money—my mother gave me ten dollars this morning, to make a few purchases, which I can very well do without until you can pay me.”
“Do, dear girl—you are always one of the best creatures in the world. How much is it? three
dollars I believe.”
“Six, if you pay the past and present year. I will pay Mrs. Thoughtful before I go home. But, dear Eudosia, I wish you had not bought that foolish pocket-handkerchief.”
“Foolish! Do you call a handkerchief with such lace, and all this magnificent work on it, and which cost a hundred dollars, foolish? Is it foolish to have money, or to be thought rich?”
“Certainly not the first, though it may be better not to be thought rich. I wish to see you always dressed with propriety, for you do credit to your dress; but this handkerchief is out of place.”
“Out of place! Now, hear me, Clara, though it is to be a great secret. What do you think Pa is worth?”
“Bless me, these are things I never think of. I do not even know how much my own father is worth. Mother tells me how much I may spend, and I can want to learn no more.”
“Well, Mr. Murray dined with Pa last week, and they sat over their wine until near ten. I overheard them talking, and got into this room to listen, for I thought I should get something new. At first they said nothing but ‘lots—lots—up town—down town—twenty-five feet front—dollar, dollar, dollar.’ La! child, you never heard such stuff in your life!”
“One gets used to these things, notwithstanding,” observed Clara, drily.
“Yes, one does hear a great deal of it. I shall be glad when the gentlemen learn to talk of something else. But the best is to come. At last, Pa asked Mr. Murray if he had inventoried lately.”
“Did he?”
“Yes, he did. Of course you know what that means?”
“It meant to fill, as they call it, does it not?”
“So I thought at first, but it means no such thing. It means to count up, and set down how much one is worth. Mr. Murray said he did that every month, and of course he knew very well what he was worth. I forget how much it was, for I didn’t care, you know George Murray is not as old as I am, and so I listened to what Pa had inventoried. Now, how much do you guess?”
“Really, my dear, I haven’t the least idea,” answered Clara, slightly gaping—“a thousand dollars, perhaps.”
“A thousand dollars! What, for a gentleman who keeps his coach—lives in Broadway—dresses his daughter as I dress, and gives her hundred-dollar handkerchiefs. Two hundred million, my dear; two hundred million!”
Eudosia had interpolated the word “hundred,” quite innocently, for, as usually happens with those to whom money is new, her imagination ran ahead of her arithmetic. “Yes,” she added, “two hundred millions; besides sixty millions of odd money!”
“That sounds like a great deal,” observed Clara quietly; for, besides caring very little for these millions, she had not a profound respect for her friend’s accuracy on such subjects.
“It is a great deal. Ma says there are not ten richer men than Pa in the state. Now, does not this alter the matter about the pocket-handkerchief? It would be mean in me not to have a hundred-dollar handkerchief, when I could get one.”
“It may alter the matter as to the extravagance; but it does not alter it as to the fitness. Of what use is a pocket-handkerchief like this? A pocket-handkerchief is made for use, my dear, not for show.”
“You would not have a young lady use her pocket-handkerchief like a snuffy old nurse, Clara?”
“I would have her use it like a young lady, and in no other way. But it always strikes me as a proof of ignorance and a want of refinement when the uses of things are confounded. A pocket-handkerchief, at the best, is but a menial appliance, and it is bad taste to make it an object of attraction. Fine, it may be, for that conveys an idea of delicacy in its owner; but ornamented beyond reason, never. Look what a tawdry and vulgar thing an embroidered slipper is on a woman’s foot.”
“Yes, I grant you that, but everybody cannot have hundred-dollar handkerchiefs, though they may have embroidered slippers. I shall wear my purchase at Miss Trotter’s ball to-night.”
To this Clara made no objection, though she still looked disapprobation of her purchase. Now, the lovely Eudosia had not a bad heart; she had only received a bad education. Her parents had given her a smattering of the usual accomplishments, but here her superior instruction ended. Unable to discriminate themselves, for the want of this very education, they had been obliged to trust their daughter to the care of mercenaries, who fancied their duties discharged when they had taught their pupil to repeat like a parrot. All she acquired had been for effect, and not for the purpose of every-day use; in which her instruction and her pocket-handkerchief might be said to be of a piece.
CHAPTER XI.
And here I will digress a moment to make a single remark on a subject of which popular feeling, in America, under the influence of popular habits, is apt to take an exparte view. Accomplishments are derided as useless, in comparison with what is considered household virtues. The accomplishment of a cook is to make good dishes; of a seamstress to sew well, and of a lady to possess refined tastes, a cultivated mind, and agreeable and intellectual habits. The real virtues of all are the same, though subject to laws peculiar to their station; but it is a very different thing when we come to the mere accomplishments. To deride all the refined attainments of human skill denotes ignorance of the means of human happiness, nor is it any evidence of acquaintance with the intricate machinery of social greatness and a lofty civilization. These gradations in attainments are inseparable from civilized society, and if the skill of the ingenious and laborious is indispensable to a solid foundation, without the tastes and habits of the refined and cultivated, it never can be graceful or pleasing.
Eudosia had some indistinct glimmerings of this fact, though it was not often that she came to sound and discriminating decisions even in matters less complicated. In the present instance she saw this truth only by halves, and that, too, in its most commonplace aspect, as will appear by the remark she made on the occasion.
“Then, Clara, as to the price I have paid for this handkerchief,” she said, “you ought to remember what the laws of political economy lay down on such subjects. I suppose your Pa makes you study political economy, my dear?”
“Indeed he does not. I hardly know what it means.”
“Well, that is singular; for Pa says, in this age of the world, it is the only way to be rich. Now, it is by means of a trade in lots, and political economy, generally, that he has succeeded so wonderfully; for, to own the truth to you, Clara, Pa hasn’t always been rich.”
“No?” answered Clara, with a half-suppressed smile, she knowing the fact already perfectly well.
“Oh, no—far from it—but we don’t speak of this publicly, it being a sort of disgrace in New York, you know, not to be thought worth at least half a million. I dare say your Pa is worth as much as that?”
“I have not the least idea he is worth a fourth of it, though I do not pretend to know. To me half a million of dollars seems a great deal of money, and I know my father considers himself poor—poor, at least, for one of his station. But what were you about to say of political economy? I am curious to hear how that can have any thing to do with your handkerchief.”
“Why, my dear, in this manner. You know a distribution of labor is the source of all civilization—that trade is an exchange of equivalents—that custom-houses fetter these equivalents—that nothing which is fettered is free—”
“My dear Eudosia, what IS your tongue running on?”
“You will not deny, Clara, that any thing which is fettered is not free? And that freedom is the greatest blessing of this happy country; and that trade ought to be as free as any thing else?”
All this was gibberish to Clara Caverly, who understood the phrases, notwithstanding, quite as well as the friend who was using them. Political economy is especially a science of terms; and free trade, as a branch of it is called, is just the portion of it which is indebted to them the most. But Clara had not patience to hear any more of the unintell
igible jargon which has got possession of the world to-day, much as Mr. Pitt’s celebrated sinking-fund scheme for paying off the national debt of Great Britain did, half a century since, and under very much the same influences; and she desired her friend to come at once to the point, as connected with the pocket-handkerchief.
“Well, then,” resumed Eudosia, “it is connected in this way. The luxuries of the rich give employment to the poor, and cause money to circulate. Now this handkerchief of mine, no doubt, has given employment to some poor French girl for four or five months, and, of course, food and raiment. She has earned, no doubt, fifty of the hundred dollars I have paid. Then the custom-house—ah, Clara, if it were not for that vile custom-house, I might have had the handkerchief for at least five-and-twenty dollars lower—!”
“In which case you would have prized it five-and-twenty times less,” answered Clara, smiling archly.
“That is true; yes, free trade, after all, does not apply to pocket-handkerchiefs.”
“And yet,” interrupted Clara, laughing, “if one can believe what one reads, it applies to hackney-coaches, ferry-boats, doctors, lawyers, and even the clergy. My father says it is—”
“What? I am curious to know, Clara, what as plain speaking a man as Mr. Caverly calls it.”
“He is plain speaking enough to call it a —humbug,” said the daughter, endeavoring to mouth the word in a theatrical manner. “But, as Othello says, the handkerchief.”
“Oh! Fifty dollars go to the poor girl who does the work, twenty-five more to the odious custom-house, some fifteen to rent, fuel, lights, and ten, perhaps, to Mr. Bobbinet, as profits. Now all this is very good, and very useful to society, as you must own.”
The Classic American Short Story Megapack, Volume 1 Page 21