Of course, she’s watching it all unfold, her mouth agape, her chin resting on her fist, I swear.
“Neither do you,” he accuses, his breathing ragged. “You really expect me to let you walk away after I bear my fucking soul?”
The air is cold and sharp, a fine mist falling from the sky, seeping through my sweater and chilling me to the bone. “You confessed that you have a crush on me. That’s it.”
“That’s it? Like hey, no big deal? You consume my thoughts and I’m fairly certain I’m obsessed with you, yet you hit me with that’s it?” He runs a hand through his hair, his big body practically vibrating with frustration. “I ruined it between us didn’t I?”
I don’t answer him, glancing over my shoulder once more. I hate that Kelli’s having to wait for me. Hate even worse that she’s witnessing all of this. “I need to go,” I tell him.
He grimaces. “Go ahead. Fucking go with Kelli and leave me here all alone.”
“Seriously? You’re going to play the guilt card now?” Unbelievable. I turn away from him and stalk toward Kelli’s car, anger, irritation, frustration, lust—all of it bubbling deep inside of me. He’s so incredibly arrogant and selfish. Everything revolves around him. He doesn’t get it.
I don’t think he’ll ever get it.
I’m on the passenger side of Kelli’s car, about to open the door when Tristan appears in front of me, like he’s fucking magic or something. “I don’t want to play any type of card.” He grabs hold of my hand but I shake him off. “I want to be real with you, Alexandria.”
“Then you’re going to have to work a little harder,” I tell him as I pull open the car door. A blast of heat and that damn irritating Fight Song pours out of the interior, making me wince.
“Get in, bitch! You’re letting in all the cold air!” Kelli yells. The music fades and I’m thankful. “Leave her alone, Tristan! Clearly she’s not interested.”
He backs away, holding up his hands like he’s given up, his expression unreadable. I stare at him, watching him walk backward across his neighbor’s lawn until finally he turns and jogs across the street back to his house. Never once looking at me.
Typical.
Climbing into the car, I collapse in my seat, slamming the door and exhaling loudly, like I’d just held my breath for the last ten minutes.
It sort of feels like I did exactly that.
“What the hell just happened?” Kelli asks as she puts the car in drive and pulls away from the curb.
I close my eyes. “I have no idea.”
“That movie sucked,” Steven says bitterly as we walk out of the theater.
“Yeah, it did,” I reply, offering him a weak smile when he looks my way. I hadn’t paid much attention through the entire movie, my mind too occupied with thoughts of Tristan.
He hadn’t helped matters. I was trying to forget him, forget that stupid fight, confrontation, whatever you want to call it that happened last night. Pretend that it never existed, but he made it so damn hard. Sending me sweet little texts all day long. Stuff like:
Good morning.
Hope you have a good day at work.
I wish I could see you today.
I miss you.
The last one had the most effect on me, coming in about halfway through the movie. I was already distracted, thinking of him, the way he kissed me when my phone buzzed. I discreetly checked it, my heart leaping when I saw his name on the screen and the words that accompanied it.
Clearly he’s toying with my emotions and like the fool that I am, I’m letting him do it. Worse, I’m falling for it. He’s keeping his distance yet remaining in contact with me, and God help me I like it.
“Did you maybe want to go hit up a bar or something?” Steven asks as we exit the movie theater, the cold night air embracing us, making me shiver.
“I don’t know. I’m awfully tired.” This wasn’t a lie. I’m exhausted after tossing and turning last night and having to work all afternoon. Last night Kelli drove me home and stayed with me in my room, the both of us snuggled under the comforter together late into the night as we talked about Tristan, boys in general and how sucky relationships are. All while sharing that tub of ice cream and watching our favorite Sex and the City episodes.
Yeah, it was definitely a Mr. Big-is-an-asshole-yet-I-can’t-stop-fucking-him type of night.
“Want me to take you home?” Steven asks.
“If you don’t mind?” I smile at him and he smiles in return, then looks away from me shyly. He’s so cute. Funny. Sweet. He’s got a nice smile. Warm brown eyes.
Unfortunately, Steven does absolutely nothing for me. I need to end this. I’m just stringing him along and that’s so unfair. I’ll be his friend—the last thing he wants to hear I’m sure—but that’s all I can be. There’s no chemistry between us.
None.
Zip.
Zilch.
Nada.
The drive back to my house is quick, filled with easy conversation and I wonder if I should try and make some chemistry happen between us. This would be so much easier with Steven. There’s no drama, no ridiculous games or crazy conversations. We have mutual friends. He’s cute without being so outrageously sexy that women will constantly chase after him. He could be all mine and I’d never worry about him straying. I know without a doubt he’d be loyal.
Determination filling me, I turn to look at him as soon as he parks his car in front of my house. He swivels his head in my direction, his eyes going wide when I lean across the center console, my intent clear. Panic flashes in his eyes for a quick second before he’s reaching for me too, our mouths brushing yet not quite connecting fully.
I rear back, rub my lips together and move in once again, pressing my mouth to his more firmly, making full contact this time around, my eyes closing just as his do too. The kiss is soft. Sweet. Bland.
Boring.
Pulling away, I study him. He fidgets in his seat, glancing out the window when his eyes light up. “Isn’t that Kelli’s car?”
Hmm. Yeah, it is. “What is she doing here?”
“She gave Conrad her number.” Steven makes a face. “He’s gonna jump all over that, trust me. I don’t know what she sees in him.”
Well, holy shit. I think Steven likes Kelli. “I think she gave him her number because she likes hanging out with you guys, playing video games.”
“Really? She’s into that? I mean, you don’t seem into that.” Steven tries to look cool and is failing miserably. The eagerness flashing in his eyes is hard to miss. “I figured you just tolerated us.”
“I do,” I say with a little laugh. “But I think Kelli genuinely enjoys hanging out with you.”
“Has she ever said anything about—Conrad?” Steven asks hesitantly.
I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation about my roommate Conrad. What cruel parent gives their child that name anyway? “She’s never talked about Conrad. But she’s talked about you.”
“She has?” He visibly brightens, then immediately tones it down. “I mean, yeah, okay, cool. So she has? What um, what did she say?”
Oh, Steven is a dog sitting here on a date with me while trying to dig for information about Kelli. “She said you were adorable.”
“Wow, really?” The panic on his face is full blown now. “Yeah, I don’t really care what she thinks…”
I reach out, place my hand over his. “You like her.”
“No way.” He furiously shakes his head. “I like you.”
“Steven. It’s okay. Be real with me.” I remove my hand from his and stare at him. Hard. He won’t even look my way but I bet I’m starting to make him sweat.
“I’m a prick,” he mutters, sounding miserable. His head falls back against his seat and he closes his eyes tight. “You’re really nice, Alex. I have fun with you. You’re pretty and nice and—”
“There’s no chemistry between us,” I finish for him.
He opens his eyes, now looking miserable. “Yeah. It’
s so messed up. But that awkward as hell kiss we just shared confirmed it.”
“You’re right,” I agree. “It was bad.”
He smiles. “So bad.”
“Hey.” I wave a finger at him. “Don’t mess with my self-esteem now.”
The panic’s back just like that. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“Stop.” I reach out and squeeze his hand before I let it go. “You better get inside and make sure Conrad isn’t going after Kelli.”
Steven’s expression relaxes. Somewhat. “You’re not mad that I like your friend?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I get it. Kelli’s pretty special.”
His eyes go dreamy and for one quick second, I wish he looked like that when he thought about me. But that’s a purely selfish wish on my part and I refuse to behave that way.
I’ll leave that particular horrible habit up to Tristan Prescott.
We enter the house minutes later, the guys cheering when they see Steven walk through the door. Conrad and Jeff have some friends over and Kelli’s sitting on the couch, her legs tucked up under her while she scrolls through her phone.
Steven, being the shy dude that he is, offers her a quick hi as he passes her and immediately joins his friends.
“How was your date?” she asks as she lifts her head to smile at me.
“Revealing,” I say truthfully, flopping onto the couch next to her. “What are you doing here?”
“Conrad texted me this afternoon and invited me over. We had a Mario Kart battle earlier but then I got bored. Then I thought I’d wait for you.” She shrugs and turns to watch the guys as they start a new Call of Duty battle. “Don’t they ever get tired of killing people every day?”
“That would be a no.” I nudge her knee to get her attention. “I have something to tell you.”
She smirks. “I have something to tell you, too. But you go first.”
I lean in close, my mouth at her ear. “Someone has a crush on you,” I whisper.
“Who? Conrad?” She makes a dismissive noise and waves her hand. “I already knew that. He tried to make a move the last time I was here.”
“Seriously?” I’m shocked. These boys may act like nerdy twelve year olds most of the time, but they aren’t afraid to go for it when it comes to girls.
“Oh, yeah. It’s all good now, especially when I told him who my secret crush was.” Her gaze goes to Steven super quick before returning to me. “I said I was madly in love with Jeff.”
“Really? Why would you say that?” She’s a liar. “Because I know who’s hot for you.”
“Who? Not Conrad? Don’t get my hopes up.” She rests a hand over her chest.
I go to her ear again and whisper, “It’s Steven.”
Kelli rears back, her eyes wide. “Wait a minute. What?”
Jerking my head toward the kitchen, I indicate we should talk in there. She follows after me, immediately going to the freezer and pulling out a relatively new bottle of Ketel One.
We go through a lot of vodka in this house, I guess.
“You just got back from a date with Steven and say that he has a crush on me. You’re either fucked up on drugs, want to have a threesome with me and Steven which is ew, so weird, or you’re serious,” Kelli says after she takes a swig straight from the bottle.
I pull a shot glass from the cupboard. Conrad’s childhood collection has come in handy lately. “No drugs,” I say as I pour a hearty shot. I need it. I’m feeling all sorts of weird this weekend. “And definitely not a threesome. God, Kel.”
“So you’re serious.”
“As a heart attack.” I fill another shot glass and hand it to Kelli. We do a quick toast before we tip the glasses back simultaneously and drink. Damn, that burns. “He likes you.”
“And you got him to admit this?”
“Yeah. Don’t ask. Just know that you have my blessing if you two started seeing each other.”
Kelli makes a funny face as she pours herself yet another shot and swallows it down. “You’re for real.”
I shrug. “Who am I to stop true love?”
“Please. We’re not true love. He’s not even my type. Look at him.” She waves a hand back toward the living room and the both of us turn to do exactly that.
Steven’s screaming from his beanbag, “Shoot him! Shoot that motherfucker!” over and over again as the other guys do exactly what he demands.
“That’s sort of hot,” Kelli says with a little sigh. “Why do I find that hot?”
I nudge her. “You’re crazy.”
“I’m buzzing from the shots, I think.” She refills her glass and slugs it back. “Okay that’s enough liquid courage for tonight. Should I talk to him? Do I look like hell? Oh God, I look like hell, don’t I? I put zero effort into tonight because I thought I was hanging out with Jeff and Conrad, you know? Those two jackasses don’t really pay attention and not like I’m not trying to impress them.”
Kelli’s so cute and rambly when she’s buzzed and worried. Kind of like Steven.
“And look at you. You’re gorgeous, all fancied up in your date clothes and here I am in yoga pants. I should go.” She pushes away from the counter and I stop her, my hands on her shoulders.
“You’re not going anywhere,” I tell her firmly. “You’ll crash on our couch if you have to, or sleep with me. Or sleep with…you know.” I flick my head in Steven’s direction.
“Ew, I’m not a slut, Alex. I don’t put out on the first date.” Her gaze goes back to Steven, the interest in her eyes plain. “Do you think he’s a virgin?”
“No way.” I shake my head, ignoring the doubt. He might be. I don’t know. Nothing’s made a lot of sense these last two days so I’m sort of just running with it.
My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket to check who it is.
Hey beautiful.
Tristan.
I can’t help the smile that grows and I consider answering him. I haven’t all day and I wonder if that’s driving him crazy. I know it would make me insane so I start to reply when Kelli snatches the phone out of my hands. “Hey! Give it back!”
“Tristan is texting you?” Kelli reads over every single text he’s sent today. Nothing is sacred, I swear. “This is kind of sweet.” She looks up at me.
“I know.”
“But you haven’t answered him.”
“What am I supposed to say? Hey thanks, but I think you’re a total dick?”
“You don’t think he’s a total dick.”
“I sort of do.” I shrug.
“Right, that’s why you blew off Steven tonight and basically just gave me permission to bang him,” Kelli retorts. “Quit denying your feelings. I think it’s pretty major that Tristan said all that stuff last night. I know you’re not impressed but really? I totally am.”
I probably should’ve never told her everything that he said to me, but I was at a low point last night. High on ice cream and invigorated by Carrie banging the very married Mr. Big—such a bad move on her part—but her bad move made me feel less guilty for wanting Tristan despite every stupid thing he does and says. There’s no hope for that guy. Or for us. I know this yet…
I’m not ready to give up on him. This means I’m crazy. I have to be.
“He’s all talk and no action,” I remind her.
“He’s showing you a little action via text,” Kelli points out.
“Again, all talk. There’s no action beyond him typing.” I’m suddenly tired. And no longer interested in talking about Tristan with Kelli. We’ve already gone over this. “I’m going to bed. Don’t drive home tonight, okay?”
“You’re going to leave me all alone with the guys?”
“You’re a big girl.” I pat the top of her head. “Have fun. Make a move on Steven but don’t go too far. He startles easy.”
“Shut up.” Her expression turns solemn. “I won’t leave tonight, I promise.”
“Good. If you want, come sleep with me. My bed is way more com
fortable than that couch.”
“Are you trying to hit on me?” Kelli asks, blinking innocently.
“Shut up, you wish.” I shove her.
“Thanks, Alex. You’re a good friend.” She embraces me in a sloppy hug and I hug her back, clutching her close before I let her go. “Good night.”
“Night. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I tease.
“Which is a whole lot of nothing,” Kelli calls after me as I head toward my room.
Isn’t that the truth?
My phone dings and I grab it, smiling when I see who the text is from.
Hi. :)
Her first response of the day and it comes in at—I check the time—eleven-thirteen. Unlucky thirteen just turned into my favorite number.
How was your date?
I forced Kelli to tell me where Alexandria went tonight and she finally confessed—reluctantly. Those two were becoming close. It was sort of scary.
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Smiling, I consider how I should answer.
Let’s not lie to each other. Did you have fun with Steven?
Her response is almost immediate.
We decided we were better off as friends.
I grin. I can’t help it.
Why?
Because he’s hot for Kelli and Kelli’s hot for him.
Say the fuck what? I can’t imagine Kelli with the quiet, blood-thirsty Steven.
Are you serious?
Yeah. They’re crushing on each other.
So where does that leave you?
What do you mean?
Are they in the house together?
Yeah. Playing video games.
Uh huh. That’ll soon become code for getting their fuck on.
Where are you right now?
In bed.
I immediately imagine what she could be wearing. Preferably nothing. Though those little shorts and that thin tank would work too.
And what are you doing in bed?
Watching SATC.
????????
Sex and the City. Carrie and the girls are my favorite, especially right now.
Scrubbing a hand over my jaw, I wonder what she’s implying.
Why right now?
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