"You forget to whom you are speaking, Jeffery," Tajarez said in an ominous voice.
"I am angry, Tajarez. I will wait outside, and when Gaord returns, I will bring you the child."
"I have not dismissed you."
Jeffery stood up to his full height. "I will wait until you do so."
"You act like Mara is the one who has been betrayed. Your loyalty to your sister does you credit, but what she did is unforgivable. You are dismissed, but do not bring the child into my presence."
A muscle twitched in Jeffery's jaw, and he quickly withdrew. He walked to the river's edge. He could already see Gaord returning with the infant in his arms. He waited impatiently for him to reach shore, and when he finally did, Jeffery took the child from him and walked purposefully toward the big white tent.
He threw open the flap.
Tajarez, hearing him enter, whirled around to face him. His dark eyes went to the bundle Jeffery carried in his arms. He watched silently as Jeffery laid the child down on the white fur, withdrew his knife and handed it to Tajarez.
"I give you the weapon to end this child's life."
Tajarez's anger was unbounded. His dark eyes narrowed and he grabbed the knife from Jeffery. "I will do it, Jeffery. I will kill the white man's child, and you cannot stop me."
"Did I say I would stop you? Did I not give you the knife to do the deed with? What are you waiting for?"
Tajarez dropped to his knees and pulled the blanket aside. The hand that clenched the knife wavered and the knife fell onto the robe.
"Great Father!" Tajarez cried out. "This is my child." With trembling hands, he picked up the baby, whose skin was as dark as his own. Long black hair covered the child's head. Black eyes wandered aimlessly across Tajarez's face.
"Damn right, he is your son," Jeffery said in English. "Do you no longer wish for the child's death?"
Tajarez held his son against his face, too overcome with emotion to speak. "I ... am confused."
"What you are is a bastard, Tajarez. You were ready to believe the worst about Mara, condemning her without ever giving her a chance to defend herself."
"Matio said Mara told him this child belonged to the white man. He said Mara ordered him to leave, that she would not return to me. What was I to believe?"
"How about believing in Mara?"
"Do not go too far, Jeffery. You have said more to me today than any man has ever dared, and you are still alive. But do not push me more."
"I left Mara on the other side of the river so I could explain some things to you. Right now I do not much care if you hear the truth, since you are so willing to believe a lie."
"I will have Matio's death."
"He is innocent, Tajarez. He told you what he saw. He could not know what had happened to Mara."
"What are you saying? She is well, is she not?"
"Physically, yes, but she does have a problem. After what I have witnessed here today I fear to tell you, thinking you will not understand. She needs gentleness and understanding."
Tajarez looked down at his sleeping child. "You are frightening me, Jeffery. What is wrong with Mara?"
"She has lost her memory. She does not remember me; she will not know you. She did not recognize Matio when he tried to get her to go away with him."
Tajarez looked at Jeffery suspiciously. "I have never heard of this happening to anyone. Mara would not forget me and our children."
"A moment ago you were willing to believe she had betrayed you. Why is the truth so hard to believe?"
"How could this happen?"
"The doctor says it was apparently something that happened to make her want to forget. I suspect it was when she thought Palomas and Matio had been killed right before her eyes."
"It could explain many things if she has lost her memory. I want to see her."
"In a moment. I want to tell you what the doctor told me first. He thinks it would not be wise to tell her that you are her husband just yet. He said it could be very dangerous for her if she were to become unduly upset."
"She will know me when she sees me," Tajarez said confidently. "You watch the child. I will go to her."
Tajarez handed his son to Jeffery and left before he could dissuade him.
Palomas stood guard outside Mara's tent. Tajarez clasped his arms in greeting. "It is good to see you, Palomas."
Palomas suppressed a happy smile, knowing this was Tajarez's way of saying he was forgiven for allowing Mara to be taken.
"Is Mara inside the tent?"
"Yes, my king, but she is sleeping."
Tajarez opened the flap and stepped inside. His eyes softened as they fell on his golden-haired wife. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Her eyes were closed, and he watched the even rise and fall of her breasts that were swollen with milk for his son.
He felt pain in his heart that he had doubted her. She moved slightly, and he knelt down beside her and took her hand. "Mara," he whispered. "Awaken."
Mara opened her eyes slowly, and they collided with soft brown ones. She sat up quickly. This was the beautiful Indian she had dreamed of. "Am I dreaming?" she asked.
Dark eyes that seemed to go to the very depth of her soul drew her gaze with such an intensity she could not look away. If she was dreaming, this time he could also see her.
"Mara, if you dream, I share the dream with you." His hand slipped up her arm to frame her lovely face.
"Who are you?"
His hand froze, and his eyes narrowed. She did not know him. Jeffery spoke the truth. There was no recognition in her eyes, only uncertainty and fear. He had seen that look before. The first day he had ever seen her she had worn that expression.
"You do not remember me?" he said, and the words came out as a painful question.
"My brother told me we would be meeting up with a tribe of Lagonda warriors. Are you of that tribe?"
Tajarez swallowed convulsively as his hand dropped away from her face, and he stood up. "I have come to take you across the river."
"But where is my brother? Is my son with him?"
He reached for her and lifted her into his arms. He then picked up a fur robe and wrapped it about her to keep her warm. "I will take you to your son."
As he carried her out of the tent he set her on her feet for a moment and took Palomas off to the side so he could speak to him without Mara's overhearing. "Ride ahead of us and tell Jeffery to order all the warriors not to treat Mara as their queen. No one is to let her know I am her husband."
"I am glad you have seen the wisdom of this, my king. Jeffery told me the medical man advised against revealing too much to her at once."
"Go, I will bring her shortly."
Tajarez walked back to Mara and pulled the fur that had slipped off her shoulder tightly about her throat. He noticed she flinched at his touch, so he withdrew his hand. It tore at his heart that she was frightened of him, even though she tried to hide her fear. He knew her so well. It would not be wise for her to learn that the man she feared was her husband.
"Mara, I saw your son. He is a beautiful child."
She smiled nervously. "I thank you for saying so. As his mother, I welcome all compliments on his behalf." She saw Palomas ride away and enter the frozen river water. Over the weeks she had grown accustomed to having him around, and she felt like calling after him not to leave her alone with this man whom she feared, for some unknown reason. Tajarez, seeing her fear, took a step backward. "Mara," he said, thinking to draw her thoughts away from her fear, "By what name do you call your son?"
"I named him Andrew," she said, avoiding his magnetic eyes. She suppressed a shudder. The man she had dreamed of was real flesh and blood! She hoped he could not see her confusion.
"Andrew, I like the sound of that, but it is not an Indian name."
"I know my son is an Indian. You need not remind me. I have been wondering all afternoon if I might meet the man who is his father and not recognize him as such."
Tajarez swallowed hard.
"What makes you think Andrew's father is among the Lagonda tribe?"
"I hope it is not so. I do not think I am ready to meet the man. I do not think it is proper that we are having this conversation. I do not even know your name."
"I am called Tajarez," he said, watching her face for some sign of recognition.
"I know you, you are Jeffery's wife's cousin!" Her face whitened. "Oh, I am sorry, you are the . . . you are the king. I am so embarrassed! I do not know how to address you."
"You may call me Tajarez," he said in a dull voice.
She smiled impishly. "It seems only fair, since you call me Mara."
He wanted to tell her he had often called her another name ... he had called her "beloved." He wanted to reach out and take her slight body in his arms. He wanted to carry her into the tent and strip all her clothing off and make love to her. He wanted to tell her how proud he was of his son, who was dark like himself, and looked more like his son than the prince royal did. Oh, he wanted so many things as he stood there looking into her eyes.
"Come, Mara. I will take you across the river now." He lifted her into his arms and mounted his horse. The horse balked at the river crossing and reared up on its hind legs. Tajarez easily controlled the animal, but the movement sent Mara crashing against his hard, lean body. As he reached around her to get a tighter rein on the horse, his lips brushed against her cheek, and she drew in her breath. With his knees he urged the horse forward and it entered the icy stream. He smiled down at her and her heart fluttered. She wondered why she was having such a strong reaction to this man of whom she had dreamed so often. Her face reddened as she remembered how intimate they had been in one of her dreams. He misread her reaction as one of fright. "Have no fear, I will not let you fall into the icy water," he assured her. He shifted her weight so her head was resting against his shoulder and she could observe his face better. His face was so beautiful and noble, yet it was a male face, one that could cause many a young maiden to lose her heart. Mara thought of his queen and wondered what she would be like. "Why are you being so kind to me?" she could not help asking.
He looked down at her with a warm gaze. "You were lost to us. There will be many who will welcome your return, Mara."
She wanted to reach up and touch his ebony hair to see if it was as soft as she remembered in her dreams. Her eyes widened. What was the matter with her? She was beginning to covet another woman's husband. They had reached the other side of the river, and Tajarez handed Mara into Jeffery's arms.
The look Jeffery gave him plainly told him how grateful he was that Tajarez had not revealed to Mara that he was her husband.
"It is good to have your sister back with us, Jeffery. It is cold. I think you should take her into the tent with her child."
"Which tent do you wish her to occupy?" Jeffery asked, hoping Tajarez would not want her to share his tent.
"Put her in my tent. I will seek shelter elsewhere tonight," Tajarez said, as he nudged his mount forward and rode away;
Mara noticed the other Indians as Jeffery set her on her feet and steered her toward the big white tent. The men seemed to be ignoring her; it seemed to make little difference to them that Jeffery had found his sister. Upon entering the tent, she took in the luxury in one glance. The white skins that covered the floor could only be ermine. There were white deerskin cushions to sit on. Golden plates and goblets stood on a low table.
"This is magnificent! I could not be more surprised. I am beginning to see that some of the things you told me about the Lagonda tribe are true. I expected to find a camp with the usual Indian teepees," she said, bending over Andrew and discovering he was sleeping soundly.
"You will find they differ in many ways from what you would expect of Indians. I think you should rest now. The trip from here on out will be a grueling one. Tajarez covers many miles in a day. Should you need anything, you have only to call out."
Tajarez was standing near the river's edge, looking across to the opposite shore. A light snow had begun to fall, and the dying light from the sun was shrouded behind dark clouds. He heard footsteps and recognized them as Jeffery's. He did not turn around, but spoke softly: "I feel like the lowest creature for ever doubting Mara. It pains me to think I had so little faith in her. I pray she never learns how I doubted her."
"She will not hear of it from me."
"She does not remember the times we laughed, talked, and loved," Tajarez said, as if speaking to himself. "I did not think you spoke the truth when you told me of her condition, but when I looked into her eyes, I saw that I was a stranger to her. She does not know of the times she came willingly into my arms and I held her. She cannot guess how I wanted to die when I thought she was dead. I had to hide the joy in my heart at seeing her again. Nor can I tell her Andrew is my son. I want to go to her and tell her of this great love I have for her, to feel her body close to mine. But I must play the part of a polite stranger, instead of an ardent husband."
"Perhaps when we reach the Cities, the medicine man can cure her. Or Sagas may know what must be done," Jeffery told him.
Tajarez turned to face him. "It is a long way to the Seven Cities, Jeffery. It will take many weeks to get there, as you know."
"You will be called upon to exercise patience and understanding. Knowing you and how impatient you can be, I wonder if you can remain a polite stranger."
"Jeffery, I wish to apologize to you for the way I spoke to you earlier. It seems I have had much to apologize for lately, Palomas has felt the sting of my tongue and he, too, did not deserve it."
"As for myself, I accept your apology, and I know Palomas thinks he deserves all you said to him," Jeffery said, knowing how hard it was for Tajarez to admit he was wrong. There had been a time when he would never have admitted erring, but that was before Mara had mellowed him.
Tajarez sighed. "Since I would most probably say it all wrong, I would like you to tell Matio about Mara. I still feel very angry with him, and if I spoke to him, he would also feel the sting of my tongue. He was very steadfast in his search for Mara and should be rewarded for his devotion, while I would want to point out his faults."
"I will talk to him for you," Jeffery laughed, "but he may also feel the sting of my tongue. I myself am not well pleased with his assessment of Mara's situation, although I suspect by this time he knows of his misconception, and nothing I could say would make him feel any worse."
"In the morning I want every man to be shown my son, so there will be no doubt in their minds that he is my son."
"I agree."
Tajarez raised a dark eyebrow. "At least, something we agree on. Get some sleep, Jeffery. Tomorrow we start for home, and you can see your son!"
18
I am seeking, I am searching for that which is lost
to me.
If I find him will I know it? If I love him should I
show it?
Mara slept peacefully, awakening only once to feed a hungry Andrew. When she rose the next morning she fed her son, and Jeffery brought her some corncakes and roasted rabbit. He held little Andrew while she ate.
"Mara, Tajarez wants you to ride without your side-saddle. He thinks it will be too dangerous with the rough terrain we will be traveling through."
Mara popped the last bit of corncake into her mouth and stood up. "Am I subject to this Tajarez's orders? I am a good rider and it is not likely that I will be unseated. Besides, I do not think it proper to ride without a saddle."
"I would not advise you to go against him. It was not a request, but more of an order." Jeffery could not tell her she had once fallen from her horse while riding side-saddle, and Tajarez did not want to risk its happening a second time. Looking into his sister's face and seeing the stubborn set of her chin, he knew she was preparing to do battle.
"Jeffery, either you saddle my horse or I will! I will not allow this man to tell me what to do. I am not one of his subjects who must obey his orders. I am a good rider, and I would be more likely to take a spill from
my horse riding like an Indian than I would riding side-saddle."
A smile spread over Jeffery's face. This was Mara as she used to be. There would be trouble, because she was willful and set on having her own way. She and Tajarez would clash many times before they reached their journey's end, but he welcomed it. It did the mighty king of the Lagondas' good to come up against the one person who did not always blindly obey him. He saw no need to tell Mara that she had often ridden bareback in the past.
"I will saddle your horse. Be sure to dress warmly. It is bitterly cold," he said. "I will take Andrew outside with me while you dress."
Many Lagonda warriors came forward to see the new prince. Matio looked down at the dark-skinned baby and felt shame that he had wronged his queen.
When Mara came out of the tent the warriors went back to breaking camp.
They had ridden hard all morning, and Mara had no trouble keeping pace. Palomas rode to her left holding Andrew, and Jeffery was at her right. Six other Lagonda warriors surrounded her.
The snow clouds had moved away, revealing a bright sun that began melting the snow, causing it to turn to slush. But Mara preferred that to the slick icy ground she had ridden on yesterday. She had not seen Tajarez so far today, and she thought it was just as well, because if he said anything about her sidesaddle, she would give him a piece of her mind. No lady would ride like a man! It was unheard of. She had made up her mind that even though she was among the Indians she would act like a lady. Looking about her, she assessed the way the warriors were dressed. They all had leather headbands interwoven with silver and turquoise. They were a strange band of Indians. None of them spoke to her, but every so often she would catch them watching her with a strange expression on their faces.
She recognized the young man who had come to the cabin that day and asked her to go away with him, but he, more than the others, seemed to avoid eye contact with her.
Savage Splendor (Savage Lagonda 2) Page 21