"From the extent of the scar, it must have been very bad," she said, beginning to regain some of her control.
His eyes seemed to move lovingly over her face. "Yes, I would have died had not someone very brave intervened and saved my life."
"One of your warriors?"
"No, the woman who is now my queen. She drove a knife into the Kiowa chief who was about to end my life, with no fear for her own safety."
Mara wished she had kept her curiosity to herself. She struggled out of Tajarez's arms and moved away from him, turning her back. She did not want to hear about the woman who was so virtuous, beautiful, and now brave as well. She had seen the way Tajarez's eyes had become soft when he spoke of his wife. It was like a sharp knife in her heart.
Tajarez turned her over to face him, and she closed her eyes.
"I am very tired. I want to go to sleep," she told him.
"Mara." He did not fail to see the tiny teardrops that escaped from her tightly closed eyes. It had been a mistake for him to try to make love to her. He must be strong for her sake. Her heart ached for what she was suffering. He could only imagine what it must be like for her not to know who she was and to be thrown into a world with people she did not fully understand. He brushed a golden curl from her face.
Andrew began to stir and Tajarez reached for him and placed him into Mara's waiting arms. He envied his tiny son as he began to nurse at his mother's breast.
21
As a glimmer of my past unfolds.
I wonder what the future holds.
Mara could see the tall, majestic mountains in the distance. They were blanketed with snow, taking on the appearance of a winter fantasyland. As she stood there viewing the countryside, she felt that she was witnessing a virgin land, one untouched by man. She was awed by the beauty of it.
Jeffery rode up beside her and handed Andrew into her arms. He noticed her preoccupation with the surroundings, and remembered what it had felt like to be witnessing it for the first time. When he and Mara had first come to this place, they had stared in wonder at the beauty of it.
He dismounted and then lifted Mara from her horse. "It is beautiful, is it not?" he said, leading her over the deep snow to a place of solitude behind a pine tree where she could nurse her son in privacy.
Mara waited as he dusted the heavy snow from a large rock so she could sit down. She was still angry with him. "Yes it is lovely. I can imagine nowhere on earth that rivals this place in beauty," she said at last. She opened her gown so Andrew could nurse. "You must be anxious to see your wife and son. I am sorry that you had to leave them because of me."
"Mara, I am grateful that we found you unharmed, and we could bring you home."
"This is not my home, and make no mistake about it. I do not intend to remain here one day longer than I have to."
"Mara, about the other night, I . . ."
"I do not want to talk about it," she cut him off.
Jeffery looked at her not knowing what to say. She had built a wall about her every bit as impregnable as the wall that blocked her memory. He knew the hell she must be living through, but he could not help her. He would be glad when they reached the city, so the medicine man could examine her. It was hard now to be met with her disdain toward him. He decided to try to talk to her despite her coldness to him.
"Mara, sometimes appearances can be deceiving. Observe the mountains you see in the distance. They seem to rise out of the wilderness, untouched by the hand of man, and yet inside those mountains lives a civilization that existed long before any white man set foot on this continent—a civilization that will astound you. There is wealth in the Seven Cities the likes of which the world has never known. The people of the Lagonda tribe are intelligent, loyal, and outgoing, but to their enemies they are fierce and deadly. To each other they are kind and loving, and if you will allow it, you will find a welcome that has never been offered to anyone else from the white race. Have you not been shown every courtesy on this journey? Has not your well-being and comfort been the prime concern of the Lagonda warriors who looked after you?"
Andrew had finished nursing and was pulling at a golden lock of Mara's hair. She stood up and glared at her brother.
"I did not ask to be brought here. You may belong to these people, since you are married to one of them and have fathered a child by her, but I feel no such ties to the people of the Lagonda tribe. I only want to return to . . ."
"Return to what, Mara?"
She looked at him in such a lost way that it tugged at his heart.
"I do not know. I only know I cannot go on much longer the way I have been. I do not know what lies behind me any more than I know what I will face when I reach this city. I am frightened of many things, but most of all I am afraid of the man you call king."
"Mara, there is nothing for you to fear from Tajarez. He would never do you harm."
Mara's eyes sparkled like green fire. "I would like for you to define harm to me," she said, looking at him in contempt^ He thought Tajarez could do no wrong. Well, she would just tell him about his mighty king. She wanted to hurt her brother for allowing Tajarez to assert his authority over her.
"Do you call not harming me, making love to me? Do you think Tajarez's queen will show me this welcome you spoke of?" she said, hoping to shock him.
Jeffery met her level gaze. "You are thinking that as your brother I should have stopped what happened between you and Tajarez. Had I known what your reaction would be, I would have spoken to him on your behalf."
Mara's mouth flew open. "Spoken to him! Not demanded that he leave your sister alone? Am I such an immoral person that even my own brother turns his head while I…oh, God, what kind of a woman am I? You are not even shocked by my behavior!"
Jeffery reached out his hand to her, but Mara spun away from him. "Do not touch me; I am not fit for a decent man to come in contact with."
"Mara, please."
"It is time to remount." A deep voice spoke up just behind Mara.
She turned to Tajarez and scalded him with a glance. "I am sick to death of the way you Indians sneak up on a person. It would behoove you to announce to someone that you are eavesdropping on their conversation," she stormed, venting her anger and frustration on the man she felt had contributed to her downfall.
Tajarez took Andrew from her and turned and walked away before she could say another word.
"Come, Mara. Tomorrow we will be home, then you can rest. Things are not always as black as they appear," Jeffery told her.
That night they camped in the foothills of the giant mountain. Tajarez was in Jeffery's tent, speaking to him and the other warriors.
"I have decided that should the people see Mara, they would confuse her with their reaction. I had hoped that before we reached the City her memory would have returned, but as you know it has not." He turned to Matio. "I want you to ride to the City and spread the word. Say that it is my command that the streets leading to the palace are to be blocked off by sundown. I want no one to witness the queen's entrance into the City. Palomas and myself shall abide here with the queen until we can enter the city in total darkness. Do not alert the people that Mara has been found. I shall let them know in due time that she has returned, but is ill. You may all withdraw now, with the exception of Jeffery. All of you but Palomas will leave at first light.
Tajarez waited until the others had gone before he spoke again. "Jeffery I know you are anxious to see your wife and son. I give you leave to go to them now."
"I am not sure I should leave. Mara is very distressed."
"An understatement," Tajarez said, without humor. "Mara is my responsibility. What I want you to do is have the medicine man ready to examine her tomorrow night. Tell everyone at the palace that I do not want them to show by thought or deed that Mara is their queen. I want no one to see her tomorrow, with the exception of Tabo, and Falon, her serving girl. Have Falon prepare a room for Mara off of the anteroom. I think we should try to make things appear as normal
as possible."
"I am glad you are going to be reasonable."
Tajarez raised his eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I was half afraid you would insist Mara move into your bedroom."
Tajarez stared for a moment at his brother-in-law. "I am not as insensitive as you believe me to be. I can see the harm I have done Mara by not staying away from her, until such time as Tabo tells me she is able to handle the truth. Go to your wife, Jeffery and leave me to look after mine.
Tajarez saw Mara leaning against a tree, gazing in the direction of the mountains. He was about to join her when he heard Andrew crying from inside Mara's tent. Slipping silently into the tent, he went down on his knees and smiled at the tiny miniature of himself. Andrew had kicked his covers off, and when Tajarez touched him he saw that he was cold. Wrapping the warm blanket about his tiny body, Tajarez lifted him into his arms. Andrew immediately stopped crying and began to coo happily. Love and pride were in Tajarez's eyes as he held his son to his face. He had wanted to show his affection for his son openly, but he had been forced by circumstances not to show too much interest in him, fearing that Mara would come to suspect Andrew was his son.
"My son, my son," he said, kissing the smooth bronzed cheek. "How proud I am of you. I do not ignore you from lack of love, but from necessity."
Andrew gave him a smile that melted his heart. "You are my son," Tajarez said softly as he laid his cheek against the baby's ebony hair. His keen hearing picked up the sound of Mara's returning footsteps. He placed Andrew down on the fur robe, stood up, and backed away, just as the tent flap opened and Mara entered.
"Oh, I did not know you were here," she said, walking past Tajarez and scooping Andrew up into her arms. "You are such a good boy," she said, ignoring Tajarez and smiling down at her son.
"You love your son a great deal," Tajarez said, coming up beside her.
"Of course. Andrew has no one but me to love him?"
"It does not matter to you that he has the dark skin?"
Mara picked up one of Andrew's tiny hands, which looked very dark beside his mother's pale hand. "I would have him no different from what he is. Do you not think him handsome?"
"Exceptionally so, even though he bears no mark that would show you are his mother. Do you yet wonder about the man who is his father?"
"You assured me his father was not among your warriors, so I try not to think about it any longer. Andrew is my son; he does not need a father."
"So you are content to let the identity of the man who planted his seed in you remain a mystery?"
Andrew had fallen asleep, so Mara laid him down and tucked the covers tightly about him. Standing up she faced Tajarez. "I have come to hope that I was an unwilling participant in the accident that gave Andrew to me."
Tajarez's heart cried out to tell her he was Andrew's father. "Why is that?"
She looked past Tajarez. "It is the only way I can live with myself. I have come to suspect that I was attacked and taken against my will, because no one has come forward to admit to being Andrew's father."
Again Tajarez had the feeling of being betrayed, and did not know why. "You have a neat little mind that likes to put all the facts into place. What you cannot analyze, you seek to put aside."
"Is this wrong?" she asked frowning.
Tajarez raised his head and stared at the top of the tent as it moved with the motion of the wind. "I am weary of this pretense. I like only truth. Anything less is repugnant to me."
"I wonder if you would recognize the truth, Tajarez. Will you tell your wife the truth about me? I think not."
Tajarez took a deep breath, and his eyes rested on her golden head. "She knows about you, up to a point."
"But you will not tell her what happened between us. I suspect you only like truth when it is not directed at you."
"You have formed a very low opinion of me, Mara. My wife will know all about you and me in due time."
Mara sank down heavily on a white cushion. "I was looking at the mountain earlier," she said, wanting to change the conversation. She did not really want to talk about his wife. "Jeffery told me I would be entering the City tomorrow night. The mountain looks ominous to me. I could see no way to get past the stone and rock."
"Tomorrow night the mountain will yield its secret to you."
"Why do you wait until dark to enter the mountain?"
"Because I say so," he said curtly. "I am weary of playing questions and answers with you."
"Could I ask you one more question?" She wondered how she dared, for at the moment he was the arrogant king. "My question has nothing to do with your city. I was wondering how it is that you speak English so well?"
Tajarez lay down and regarded her with dark, brooding eyes. "I was taught to speak English when I was a small boy."
"I know Palomas and Matio do not speak English. Are you among a select few who know the language?"
He looked at her wearily. "My cousin Sasha, your brother's wife, speaks your language well."
"Does your wife speak English?"
"She speaks as well as you do."
"I begin to think there is nothing your queen cannot do."
"Sometimes she talks too much," Tajarez said, turning his back to her.
Mara knew he was indicating that she also talked too much. She lay down as far away as she could get from Tajarez and drew Andrew tightly against her. She found she did not like to be ignored by Tajarez—and yet, had she not asked him to leave her alone? He was for sure leaving her alone. Perhaps he had no use for her now. Tomorrow night he would be with his wife, she thought bitterly.
She had fought hard not to love this dark, mysterious man, but she had been doomed to love him, for she knew she had first fallen in love with him in a dream. There was no joy in her heart at the thought of entering the Seven Cities tomorrow night. She knew the first chance she got she would make her escape. Mara was learning something about herself. She was a realist. She could recognize when something was beyond her capability. At the moment escape was impossible, but she would bide her time and soon she would get her chance. It was becoming apparent that she was little less than a prisoner. For some reason that she did not fully understand. Tajarez was the one who would not allow her to leave. She did not delude herself into thinking he cared about her. When he made love to her he had spoken no words of love, in fact, he had made it plain to her that his only love was the woman he was married to.
Mara's thoughts were troubled and she did not think she could easily fall asleep, but she was mistaken.
Tajarez listened to her even breathing and knew she slept. Great Father, he prayed silently, let there be an end to this farce, this torture.
He felt angry that Mara had begun to view him in an unfavorable light, thinking he only wanted to use her body, while in truth he wanted all of her. He wanted things to be as they once were between them. He wanted her to look at him with love and recognition sparkling in her green eyes. He wanted her to know he was the father of Andrew, and he wanted the right to take her body without feeling guilty.
Mara could not understand why everyone had left the camp. Palomas told her that Jeffery had departed the night before, and the rest of the warriors had entered the mountain early in the morning. To her it seemed that the sensible thing was to make the journey up the rocky hillside with the aid of daylight.
Andrew was fretful, almost as if he could sense his mother's restlessness, so she held him until he fell asleep.
Time weighed heavily on her hands, and the day seemed to drag on forever.
Laying Andrew down she walked over to the tent opening and threw the flap aside. Only one tent besides hers still remained, and she knew Tajarez and Palomas were inside of it. Glancing up at the sun, she saw there was not much more daylight left. Tajarez had left her alone all day. She knew he was still in camp though, because Palomas had told her so when he brought her her food.
How different Tajarez was now from the man whose arms she had
lain in during the first part of the trip. Most of the time he seemed angry and brooding. Mara sighed heavily and pulled the tent flap together. Glancing at Andrew to make sure he was covered, she sat down and rested her head on her folded arms. Would this day never end, she wondered.
As the tent began to darken with the dying rays of the sun, Palomas called to her from outside. "Mara, it is time to prepare to enter the hidden valley. You must bundle Andrew up warmly."
Mara pulled on her fur wrap and bundled Andrew up, then walked outside. She noticed that there were two warriors starting to dismantle the tent. Tajarez was not in sight. There would only be Palomas to escort her into the city. What did she expect, she scolded herself, a brass band and trumpets? Her brother was with his wife and baby, and Tajarez would be with his queen.
As they rode into the darkened night an icy wind blew down the mountainside with a punishing force. Palomas was carrying Andrew, and Mara rode just behind him.
She tried to push her fear aside. She thought this was what it must feel like to be led to the guillotine. In spite of her fear, she urged her horse to follow Palomas's. They rode single file up to the seemingly unyielding mountain. Suddenly Mara saw a ribbon of light pierce the darkness. When she rode closer, she saw the light came from a tunnel. As they entered the tunnel Mara noticed torches hung on the walls. Halfway through she halted her mount and noticed that someone was extinguishing the torches as she and Palomas passed. There was no going back. Mara felt her fate was being sealed just as the entrance to the cave would soon be sealed.
Seeing Palomas had halted his mount and was patiently waiting for her, she moved forward to join him. The length of the cave seemed endless. The silence was shattered only by the sound of the plodding horses, which seemed to echo and re-echo through the long tunnel. After what seemed like hours, but had, in fact, been only minutes, Palomas led Mara out of the cave into the inky-black night.
From somewhere up above a lone sentinel called down to them. "Who enters the hidden valley?"
Savage Splendor (Savage Lagonda 2) Page 25