Dotty waved that argument aside. “If that’s your only reason, then you’re in luck. I’m actually enjoying myself here and am in no hurry to return to the boardinghouse. It feels good to be in the midst of all these young people with so much going on in their lives.”
Eve’s first thought was that she could use a little less going on in her life. Then she realized that wasn’t true. As difficult as some of these decisions were to make, she didn’t want to go back to having someone else make them for her.
“But even if I decided to do this, there’s no guarantee I could make a candy store work. What if I try and the shop fails? Then where would I be? Mrs. O’Connell won’t hold that job for me past Monday so that would leave me with nowhere to go. Chance has been very kind to let me and Leo stay here, but I can’t live off of his charity indefinitely.”
“Oh, my dear, there are no guarantees in any of the paths we choose in life. The ones that seem the most secure can have hidden pitfalls. And often the ones that frighten us the most lead to undreamed of opportunities. All we can do is pray about our decisions and then step out in faith, knowing that the Good Lord will catch us should we fall.”
Eve wondered if she truly had that kind of faith.
But Dotty wasn’t finished. “And it’s not true that you’d have nowhere to go. You have friends here who would help you.”
Eve wondered if they would do so if they knew the truth about her.
Dotty smiled. “You mentioned earlier you were worried Leo had formed too strong an attachment to you. I think that goes both ways in this case. Are you really ready to walk away from him?”
Eve sighed. “I am very fond of Leo, and I won’t deny that I’d truly enjoy watching him grow and thrive in a loving household. But if you’re hinting that I should adopt him myself, I don’t think that would be wise.”
“Why ever not?”
“First, because Leo should grow up in a home that has both a mother and a father. And second, I don’t think I would be a suitable mother.”
Dotty laughed. “No woman alive ever feels she is truly prepared to become a proper mother. But we all manage as best we can.”
“You mentioned that you have a daughter I believe.”
“Yes. Judith, my daughter, is married with two children of her own. She lives over in Jefferson.” Her expression took on a bittersweet cast. “I had a son, as well. Freddie caught a fever just before his fifth birthday and never recovered.”
“Oh, Dotty, I’m so sorry.”
“It happened over twenty years ago and I’ve made my peace with it.” She straightened. “But the point I wanted to make is that, from my observations the past few days, I would say you are doing quite well with Leo, and would make an excellent mother to him.”
“Thank you for saying that. But there are things about me...” She took a deep breath. She wanted to tell Dotty the truth, but perhaps now was not the time. “I’m just not cut out to be a mother is all.”
Dotty patted her arm. “I don’t believe that for a moment. But I won’t press you any further.” She reached for her apron. “Now, how can I help to get supper ready?”
As they worked together, Eve found herself admiring this woman beside her and feeling truly blessed to have her to lean on for advice and counsel. Dotty had suffered so much loss in her life—her son, her husband, her home—yet she remained full of cheer and generosity and faith. It was an example worth emulating.
* * *
Later that evening, as they were enjoying supper, Dotty turned to Leo. “And how did you enjoy your ride in Tizzie?”
“It was great!”
Eve was glad the conversation hadn’t turned to the candy shop idea again. “I enjoyed it, as well.”
“And Mr. Dawson showed me how to drive it,” Leo added with relish.
“That doesn’t mean you’re ready to do it yourself,” Chance said quickly.
Eve was relieved to see him nip that idea in the bud.
“I know that,” Leo said matter-of-factly. But then he added more hopefully. “But maybe someday?”
Chance flashed that little-boy grin of his again. “Maybe.”
“And did y’all have a nice picnic?” Dotty asked, reclaiming the boy’s attention.
“Yes, ma’am.” Then Leo’s eyes brightened. “And I found the perfect tree to decorate for Christmas. It would look great out there by the front window.”
Dotty’s face lit up in delight. “A Christmas tree—what a perfectly lovely idea.”
“Leo, we discussed this,” Eve said quickly. “We probably won’t be living here when Christmas comes.”
He jutted his chin up stubbornly. “You promised you’d think about it.”
That was a fair rebuke. “You’re right. I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
“On the contrary, Christmas is an excellent time to get one’s hopes up,” Chance said. “Hope is what Christmas is all about.”
“I remember the Christmas trees we used to put up when my mother was still alive,” Leo said. “She made them look so beautiful.”
“I had a collection of ornaments before my house burned down,” Dotty said. “They were mostly homemade, but I cherished them. The ones Judith and I made together when she was a little girl were my favorite.” She sighed. “I’ll have to start a new collection this year I suppose.”
Then Dotty turned to Eve. “You’re being mighty quiet. Do you have memories of a Christmas ornament or decoration you particularly like?”
Eve traced her fork through the peas on her plate. “We didn’t put up Christmas trees at our house. Or any other holiday decoration for that matter. Grandmother always thought they were too frivolous.”
“So how did you celebrate Christmas?” Chance asked, studying her as if trying to read her secrets.
Eve shrugged, not really wanting to share that part of her life, but unable to get out of it. “We got up on Christmas morning and read the Christmas Story from the Bible. In honor of the occasion we would have something special for our noonday meal—usually a nice ham. Then, near supper time, my two aunts and their families would join us for the evening meal.”
“Didn’t you exchange gifts?” Leo asked.
Eve hesitated. “My grandmother always said the best gifts we could give each other were honesty and respect.”
“Oh.” Leo thought about that a moment, then looked up and met her gaze. “Is it okay if I give you a present that you can unwrap this year?”
Eve’s heart squeezed a bit at the concern she saw in the boy’s eyes. “Of course you may, Leo.” She decided not to warn him again that they might not be together for Christmas.
“As important as it is to remember the spiritual aspect of the day,” Dotty said gently, “one should never be afraid to celebrate joyfully and generously. After all it is a day to remember our Savior’s birth.”
Eve did her best to ignore the speculative way Chance was watching her. What was he thinking? She imagined he celebrated Christmas the way he did everything else—with great abandon. Did her story sound sad and restrictive to him?
She certainly hoped he wasn’t feeling pity, as that was the last thing she wanted from him. What she did want from him, however, was something she refused to think about.
* * *
That night, as Eve bent down to tuck Leo in, he looked up at her with wide, hopeful eyes. “Have you made up your mind yet?”
She shook her head. “Not yet. I’m sorry if this is difficult for you to understand, but I have to make certain, whatever I decide, it’s best for everyone.” Most especially for him. “And I want so much for you to have a real family, one who’ll give you all the love and security you deserve.”
She brushed the hair from his brow. “You want that too, don’t you?”
He didn’t give her a direct answer. Instead, he slid his arm under his head and stared up at her. “The past few days, it was almost like being part of a family again, you know? I thought maybe you felt that way, too.”
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“Oh, Leo, sweetheart, this is not just about how we feel. The world doesn’t work that way. Sometimes we must do things we’d rather not, simply because they are the right things to do.”
“Is it okay if I say a prayer that you’ll stay and that we can have a real family Christmas together?”
A real family Christmas. Those words tugged at her, set up a yearning inside her that echoed Leo’s. “Of course it is.” She hoped Leo hadn’t heard that little catch in her voice.
Listening to him pour his heart out to God, asking Him for just one Christmas like those he’d had with his parents was almost her undoing. Could she really walk away from something that clearly meant so much to him?
Then there was the town itself. These people were all so open and friendly—what would it be like to be truly a part of their circle rather than just a guest? She might never know. Unless she did as Leo wanted and stayed here.
But could she really step out in faith, knowing she would be burning her bridges and if she failed, there would be no net to catch her when she fell?
A little voice from deep inside her whispered, That’s why they call it faith.
Eve stepped out into the hall, then glanced down from the landing at the room below. Dotty had already retired to her own room but there was a soft yellow pool of light shining from a lamp near one of the worktables. So Chance was still up.
Taking a deep breath, she started down the stairs.
* * *
Chance had been just about to put his things away when he heard Eve on the stairs. She headed directly toward him, purpose in her steps. What was up? Was something wrong with Leo?
“May I speak to you for a moment?”
“Of course.” He cleaned off a chair next to his bench. “Have a seat.”
She sat absently, almost without glancing at the chair. “I’ve been giving this matter of staying in Turnabout a lot of thought and prayer.”
He came on full alert. Had she made her decision? “And?”
“And I think I want to stay.”
Now, why did his pulse leap at her words? “Good. I’ve already told you that’s what I hoped you’d decide. So what convinced you?”
“Mostly it was Leo’s desire to have us all together for Christmas. I couldn’t bear to have him feel abandoned again, especially this time of year.”
“Mostly? Was there something else?” Had he not played even a small part in her decision?
“I’ve also been thinking about what you and Dotty said about my needing to stop blindly following my grandmother’s dictates and start thinking about what I want to do with my life. And for now, this is it.”
That was definitely a start. “So what happens after you’ve given Leo the Christmas he’s dreaming of?”
“After we’ve given that to him, you mean. I haven’t entirely figured that out yet. I’m hoping the candy store will do at least enough business to support me. But if not, I suppose I’ll try to find some other position here.”
“So you’re planning to stay in Turnabout.” Yet another step in the right direction.
“I like the town and especially the people here. Whatever comes of this change in plans, I’ll have no regrets about not going to Tyler to become a milliner’s apprentice.” She smiled softly. “And perhaps, if I can establish myself, I could manage a more permanent relationship with Leo.”
“Adopt him, you mean.”
“I’d like to at least leave that option open for now.”
He wasn’t sure how he felt about the idea of Eve adopting Leo and the two of them moving out of The Blue Bottle.
“But,” she continued, “I certainly don’t want you to think that I intend to take advantage of your generosity indefinitely.”
He shrugged. “I don’t have a problem with the current arrangement. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”
“That’s very kind. However, as soon as I have enough money saved up, I will try to secure accomodations at the boardinghouse. At the very least, by the turn of the year I intend to start paying you rent.”
Didn’t the woman know how to accept a gift? “Eve, that’s quite commendable of you. But I figure the cooking and other chores you’ve been doing around here are payment enough. This place hasn’t looked so good, or smelled so good, since I moved in a year and a half ago. And having more folks come around has been a welcome change.”
“I’m glad you feel I haven’t been an imposition.” She didn’t say anything else for a long moment but he could see some sort of inner turmoil playing out on her face.
Finally she seemed to make a decision. “Before you decide to let me stay, there is something I need to tell you.”
Now this sounded interesting. Was he going to finally learn a bit more about what made the uncompromising Miss Pickering tick?
She remained silent a moment longer, as if gathering her thoughts, then took a deep breath. “I haven’t been completely forthcoming about myself, and you deserve to know the whole truth.”
“I’m listening.”
“I told you I was raised by my grandmother. The truth is I never knew either one of my parents.”
“You were orphaned young?” Where was this shame he sensed in her coming from? Being an orphan was not an unusual thing.
“Not exactly, at least not that I know of.”
Not that she knew of. What exactly did that mean?
She took another deep breath and stared down at her hands. “You see, my mother was never married. She succumbed to...to the charms of a young man who was in town for a couple of months and then left her. Apparently he promised to take my mother with him but that didn’t happen.”
Her cheeks were flaming now and her distress was obvious. His heart went out to her and he would have called a halt to her confession, but it was obviously something she felt she had to say. So he maintained his silence, trying to be as supportive as possible.
“According to my grandmother he was a smooth-talking man full of lies, for whom all the girls in town set their caps. Of course, Grandmother tried to keep him and my mother apart but my mother snuck out one evening and went to the town dance. That’s where they met.”
He straightened. The town dance? Is that why she’d never attended one until the festival? Did that have anything to do with her abrupt change as soon as the dance had ended?
But Eve seemed unaware of his epiphany. “The courtship was clandestine and when Grandmother found out she boarded up my mother’s windows and made sure she didn’t leave the house. But the damage had already been done.”
So Eve had been conceived and born out of wedlock. That explained a lot.
Eve toyed with the button at her throat. “I never knew my father’s name. Grandmother just called him the devil-tongued deceiver. And as you can imagine, my mother was ostracized because of my very existence. Two months after I was born, she left, as well. Just slipped out one night without a word to anyone. No one in Iron Bluff has heard from either of them since.”
Eve waved a hand weakly. “So whether or not I’m an orphan is unclear. For all I know, both my mother and father could be out there somewhere living full lives, together or apart. The only certainty is that neither of them wanted me.”
He reached forward and touched one of her hands. “I’m so sorry. That must have been very difficult for you growing up. But, Eve, none of this is your fault.”
“That’s not the way it feels. My very existence brought shame not only to my mother, but to my entire family. My grandmother says I was named Eve after the world’s first sinner.”
Everything in Chance recoiled at the thought that anyone, let alone a close relation, would say something so cruel to a child.
“My grandmother is a good, God-fearing woman and she has done everything she can to raise me properly, to make certain I don’t follow in my mother’s footsteps. Yet I have been a constant disappointment to her. No matter how I try, my thoughtless, careless unseemly nature keeps coming through.”
&nbs
p; “Unseemly nature? Eve, you are the most proper person I know.” What Eve’s grandmother had actually accomplished, either through design or ignorance, was stifling all the joy and confidence in her granddaughter’s life. His whole being was thrumming with outrage over what had been done to the innocent child Eve had been.
But Eve was shaking her head. “No. I try to be correct and seemly, but that’s not the real me. And sooner or later my true nature comes out.”
“If by ‘true nature,’ you mean the lady who knows how to smile, who jumps in to help without hesitation when folks are in trouble, who finds delight in music, then I say, let her free.”
And he was now more determined than ever to help that happen.
Chapter Sixteen
Chance’s words made her smile for a moment. But then reality set in once more. “Don’t you see, even my own mother didn’t want me?”
“Perhaps it wasn’t so much that she didn’t want you as that she didn’t want her tarnished reputation to affect you. And regardless of all that, it sounds to me that leaving Iron Bluff was the best thing you ever did. It took a lot of courage to strike out on your own that way, and you should be proud of yourself for doing so.”
She gave him a crooked smile. “But I didn’t decide to leave on my own. I was sent away. So you see, I can’t even claim to have that bit of bravery.” Then she grimaced. “And it wasn’t really striking out on my own. My grandmother made sure Mrs. O’Connell knew all about my past so she could keep an eye on me.”
Her grandmother sounded like an extremely bitter woman. “But it was you, and only you, who decided to step off that train and help a lone boy who had no one on his side. That kind of fearlessness, the kind that risks all for others, is admirable.”
She stared at him uncertainly. “Do you really think so? I mean it was reckless and impulsive and I gave no thought for the proprieties when I acted. It was just that sort of thing that shamed me in front of the whole congregation and forced my grandmother to send me away.”
“I would not have said it if I didn’t mean it. Now tell me about this so-called shameful act so I can disabuse you of that, as well.”
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