by Ashley Logan
My hips shifted against him and his eyes zeroed in on mine in a beat. I brought his flask back closer and ran my tongue over my lips quickly at the thought of sharing his flask now, and of each time we'd shared it before.
"Sharing is good," he voiced quietly, and it was as if he was speaking my thoughts as he stared at my lips. "Is that what you planned? Sharing a drink? A laugh? A... kiss?"
Swallowing hard, I tilted the flask towards him in offering.
Pushing up beneath me, he held himself with his arms as I sat in the V of his body, supported by his legs. His eyes dropped to the flask and he tilted his head to receive a drink. Touching it to his lips, I trickled some of the contents in, completely absorbed by the erotic nature of doing so, and with the rising heat that the alcohol was encouraging inside me.
"What else did you want to do?" he whispered, running his tongue over his bottom lip to collect a drip as I pulled the empty flask away.
Recapping it, I let it slip through my fingers to the floor.
"I thought maybe we talk," I whispered, suddenly paying very close attention to every feature my eyes landed on. "I wanted to touch you when you talked. Healing touch," I continued, reaching for his hair. "Help you relax."
His eyes closed as my fingers ran through his hair.
"Let you know is okay to feel what feelings you have and I am still wanting to know you."
Using both hands now, I massaged his brow and his scalp.
"Was hoping you tell me more about Niko. About American waterfall and why you like. If you like animals, or some food that is not chocolate, or why you like so many different songs - like me."
He mumbled some unintelligible words of appreciation as I began massaging his neck.
"I might have sung them to you if I knew them," I confessed, giving him a shy smile when one of his eyes cracked open to peek at me. "I was thinking you were feeling lost and I would help to find you. That if you could let go of the bad and relax, you will feel yourself again."
Shifting against him, I let my fingers run down his head like rain and trailed my fingertips along his shoulders as if sweeping away the invisible raindrops. I could almost taste them as I imagined licking them from his skin.
"I was also hoping you would feel good about my helping. That maybe you want to finish what we started. Make us both feel better about... interruption. Move on. Be like... it not matter to the real us anymore. Is no big deal. We are stronger. We can pretend and still be strongest ones under our other skin."
Both eyes were on me now. His gaze was hot and fierce and I lowered my eyes as warmth bloomed in my cheeks again. Focusing on his shoulder as I rubbed it instead, I leaned away as he dipped his head to insert himself into my line of sight.
With a grunt of annoyance, his abs flexed beneath me. Pulling his supporting arms up, he wrapped them around me and half twisted as he drove me into the mattress. The sheer size and strength of him rendered me helpless to resist. There’s no fighting a kraken's tentacles when they ensnare and drag down a ship
Trapping my face between his palms, he brushed my cheek with his thumbs as his eyes searched my face. I could smell the vodka on his breath and I wanted more than anything to taste it. I'd imagined that taste as I drank from his flask, but sharing a flask was nothing compared to the real thing. I wanted the source. I stared up at him, willing him to come close enough to lick.
"You're a remarkable woman, Natascha Rebane. I will love you until the day I die."
I confused the impact of his words with the impact of his lips on mine. Both things made my head spin.
Both induced a giddiness I could only relate to the thrill of running downhill and forgetting that at some stage I might need to stop. Swept up in the moment, I went with it whole-heartedly. Assisting him however I could as he pulled at my clothes, I ran my hands over his body as mine became more feverish.
The moment he was inside me was a moment of great relief for us both. Our eyes locked and I could see and feel within him the same sense of belonging.
Like jigsaw pieces coming together just so.
It didn't matter how, or where we'd come together. Connected, we were in the exact right place. A match. Of all the tiny fragments in the unforeseeable big picture, we were a perfect fit.
The rest of the puzzle could be made around us as we moved as one.
Slow and gentle, our movements reflected the rhythmic rise and fall of the vast ocean on which we traveled. As if I was precious, Niko held me as we rocked into a luxurious and drawn out, combined release that I didn't even know could exist. We stayed together a long time, sharing kisses and whispers and when our bodies grew too tired, he shifted from above me and I lay wrapped in his arms all night.
CHAPTER TWENTY
"You will be careful?" I asked, not liking the way my voice cracked with worry.
The boat seemed to drop suddenly, taking my stomach with it.
"It'll be okay," he assured me with confidence as he peeled my hands from where they gripped the edge of the bunk. Encouraging me to lie back down, he kissed my head. "You'll feel better if you just relax and go with the motion. Maybe let it rock you to sleep. It's just a patch of weather and we'll be out the other side in no time."
"You are sure?" I asked, snuggling back beneath the blankets.
"Positive. I saw the forecast yesterday. No longer than a day, tops. We've actually been very lucky with the weather so far."
He spoke so surely of things I knew nothing about that I found myself easily convinced.
"You should still be careful."
"I always am," he said, smiling as he smoothed my hair behind my ear.
"Okay. Go be mean Pachenko before you forget how."
"You say that like you're joking, but it's a legitimate concern of mine," he said in a serious tone as he checked his gun and tucked it behind him.
"I know. Is why I say it."
Snorting, he shook his head. "I'll be back as soon as I can, but I can't change my habits too suddenly. It draws attention."
"People watch you?"
"I always assume so - not to would be dangerous."
Scratching his head in a strange, almost hair-styling manner, he pulled his black hat on. He buttoned up his shirt as he began transforming into Pachenko. Shrugging into his jacket, he checked his pockets and added several chocolate bars from the box.
"You are very interesting to watch, so I am not surprised that people do."
Adding another chocolate bar, he quirked an eyebrow at me before reaching for a bottle of water and drinking half of it.
"Don't start with all that looking at me stuff," he warned.
"Well why are you taking so much chocolate when you don't even like it that much?"
He looked at the box, now almost a third empty.
"Because you like it."
Frowning, I sat up. "You take it so I won't eat it all? That is silly. I can't eat a whole box myself." I studied the size of the box. "Not in a day."
Smiling at that, he crouched before me. "How much could you eat in a day?"
"Chocolate?"
He nodded. "If you ate nothing but chocolate."
"I do not think I would do this. Is not very good for me."
Laughing quietly, he pushed up to his full height again. "Maybe for just one day, you might try it. I would like to watch. Your lips curl up when you eat chocolate, like you can't help but enjoy yourself. It's delicious."
Feeling my cheeks flush, I scowled at him.
"You are delicious and you are not being Pachenko. Say something horrible to me."
His brows drew down. "I don't want to."
"I don't care. Do it."
"No."
"I am not minding. You will be Pachenko, but I will still only be remembering that Niko thinks I am delicious. You say is important for you to be Pachenko, so say mean things to me. Treat me like slave girl."
"No!"
Waiting a moment, I prodded him again.
"What if I am Saskia? Say
it to her. Get big Pachenko shoulders and be horrible."
Growling, he scratched his head and straightened his hat. Inflating into Pachenko's intimidating posture, he turned towards the door to avoid looking directly at me.
"Clean the cabin Saskia, or I'll beat you," he muttered without enthusiasm.
"I do not believe you."
Sighing, he shrugged his shoulders a few times and tried again. "Do as I said, or I'll thump you."
"I am still not believing," I replied in a sing-song voice before getting serious again. "Is empty threat. You like me pretty. You will not thump."
He cricked his neck both ways and it was clear that my little annoyance was helping him tap into Pachenko's angry characteristics.
"I do like you pretty. Do as you're told or I'll fuck your pretty little ass so hard you'll scream for mercy."
I sat up straighter.
"Yes Pachenko."
He stood for a moment still facing the door, cricked his neck once more and then left.
Smiling to myself, I flopped back on the bed.
"I love you too, Niko."
HE CAME BACK LATE.
Having been worried sick that he'd been swept overboard in the storm, I found it unbelievably difficult to wait for him to change from Pachenko to Nikolai. He'd shut himself in the bathroom almost straight away, but as he emerged fresh from the shower, I jumped into his arms and kissed him full on the lips as I ran my hands through his hair and over his shoulders easing away any residual tension.
"I missed you too," he mumbled into my lips once he'd closed the bathroom door. "Sorry I'm late. I ran into a few problems."
I pulled back, scanning his face and then his body.
"Problems?" I asked, finding nothing and lingering to appreciate his firm, towel-clad buttocks.
"It was nothing. I'm fine. Really. Just... delayed," he said, distracted as he took in my sleeping t-shirt and tiny panties. Meeting my eyes again, his fingers lightly, but deliberately traced the lace as it arched high on my ass. His gaze was not the hot and hungry one I would expect from such a suggestive maneuver, but rather he was testing me to see how quickly I might melt in his hands.
Quickly, was my thought on the matter, but the quirk in his mood made me hesitate. His touch hadn't originated from desire; it was almost a silent subject change.
"You are not wanting me to know this problem," I concluded.
Worrying the corner of his bottom lip a moment, he narrowed his eyes. "I'm giving up too much information on my face. You're making me soft."
With a wicked smile, I rolled my hips in a tight circle, rubbing against him. "I thought I made you hard."
"Hmm," he agreed as his growing erection jerked against me in response and his lips began to curl at one corner. "I meant soft in the head, but the two are probably connected."
Smiling, I stroked his hair a moment and ran my fingertips over the stubble on his jaw.
"I do not need to know problem. I am just glad you are out of the storm."
Nipping at my fingers, he chased them away and kissed me again.
"I'm sorry for the way I spoke this morning."
"Do not apologize!" I said, nudging him in the shoulder. "It was just what you needed. We will do it every time you need to leave. I do not take it personal. I was spending my day dreaming about wonderful Nikolai and not even thinking of Pachenko. I am lucky one. You are being stuck with him all day."
"Mm," he agreed nuzzling into my neck and inhaling deeply. "I think I'm lucky to have you."
"You are. We are lucky to have each other."
His breath snuffled against my skin and I shivered as I tried to escape the tickle. He held me tighter.
"It's late."
"It is," I agreed, loving the way his hands explored me under my shirt. Moving against his hard body, I felt his erection respond to my gentle grinding with a jerk. I bit back a moan as I felt instantly needy for him.
"We should be training you," he groaned, burying his face in my neck and nipping at my skin as his hands encircled the cheeks of my ass.
"Is late," I reminded him, as his hands slipped inside my underwear and any desire I might have had to talk about snakes and imaginary maps dissolved completely.
He agreed with a moan. "I want to take you to bed."
"So take me."
"Tomorrow," he mumbled, stroking my slit as he walked us to the bed.
"Take me now," I argued, yanking his towel away so I could feel the heat of his skin on mine.
Laughing quietly into my skin, he pulled back.
"I meant tomorrow we'll start training properly," he explained, tugging my shirt over my head. "I'm definitely taking you now."
Pulling my soaking panties aside, he pushed himself straight in and I melted into his arms with relief.
"Yes Niko. Tomorrow."
WE FELL INTO HABIT. We'd exercise in the morning and Pachenko would leave for the day before returning earlier and earlier to spend more time with me, even when we skipped the love-making because of my cycle. We'd lie together and talk about the world and the life we'd like to be leading beyond the Moskva-Liis.
Then the escape planning would happen.
Revising plan upon plan, I would study through the day and he'd quiz me at night. Relentlessly. About routes, and what to do in certain situations. He taught me to tie certain knots and then raced me to untie them only to re-tie them again as fast as I could. He told me what to expect on a small boat in a large ocean, and how to judge my direction by the sun and the stars.
He explained where I might want to live in America. There were so many choices, but I didn't want to pin my hopes on any of them. My education went on and on until I was too exhausted to absorb anything more; then we'd fall asleep in each other's arms and do it all again the next day.
"Which city will I tell you about tonight?" he asked one night as I lay half asleep in the crook of his arm.
"Nowhere," I mumbled. "I am full."
His body shook with quiet laughter.
"Nowheresville, huh? I believe there are many of those all over the world. Good places for hiding. I know them well."
Cracking open a sleepy eye, I watched his face. "You were hiding?"
"Once. In America."
"Why?"
Taking a deep breath, he released it slowly. "It was the only way to escape Pachenko."
"He was in America?"
"Eventually. He sent me first. It was a necessary maneuver."
Frowning, I shifted so I could see him properly. "You are not talking about the Pachenko that is you."
"No," he agreed. "My father."
"He sent you from Russia?"
"It's a long and complicated story. It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me," I argued. "I would like to hear it."
A small crease formed between his brows. "I thought you were full?"
"Always room for you. You are like chocolate. Tell me."
Sighing, he encouraged me to re-settle.
"I traveled on a ship just like this one," he said quietly, waving a hand at our cabin.
The way he said it sent a shot of fear through me and I tried to look up, but the way he held me tighter wouldn't allow it. He didn't want me to see him tell the story.
Wrapping myself securely around him, I nodded for him to continue.
"It wasn't too bad for me. I was almost treated as crew, despite being only twelve."
I breathed a quiet sigh of relief that young Niko had not been sold and raped.
"My mother was not so lucky."
A strangled noise escaped my throat and I held on to him more tightly.
"I won't say what went on," he said softly, soothing my shoulder with his hand as if I were the one affected. "Only that she was never the same, and neither was I. Through a string of coincidences too good to be true, we were removed from the ship and taken to America, where we were allowed to stay, due to the circumstances of our arrival."
"They gave you trafficked people vi
sas like you told me?"
"Essentially, yes. I had to negotiate all of it, because although she was still capable of caring for me, my mother couldn't speak to them. But it all worked out and once permanently settled, we were allowed to bring the rest of our family to join us."
"The rest?"
"My father."
"Oh."
"Mm," he agreed. "I was glad to see him." Shaking his head a little, he laughed coldly.
"I thought he was glad to see me too. He was my hero in a way, and I loved to be taken along on all of his business trips, where he'd proudly introduce me to his friends. It took a while for them to accept my presence, but once they did I was welcomed into the heart of their activities. Deeply criminal activities," he amended, to help me understand.
"At the time, I was eager to please my father. I began my career as a thief, but it wasn't long before I discovered that not only did my father not give a shit about me, but that he'd had planned it all along - him being legally on American soil to attend to certain... business," he said with vehemence.
"Our earlier travel arrangements - my Mom's..." Pressing his lips hard together on the words, Nikolai exhaled and released some of his tension before continuing more calmly.
"He'd orchestrated the whole thing. Put us through all of it, just to satisfy his own master plan of advancing through the ranks whilst grooming me to support him."
Summoning the bravery to ask for more, I continued to hold him. "What did you do?"
"I left. Disappeared."
I swallowed roughly. "And your mother?"
His already taut body became impossibly more rigid. The muscles in his arms tensed all the way from his shoulders to his tightly balled fists.
"I told her. Begged her to come with me, but she wouldn't. She... escaped in her own way," he whispered, swiping at his cheek. "It was my fault. She knew I'd never have left her otherwise."
I hugged him harder. "That doesn't make it your fault Niko. Where did you go?"
"Everywhere. Nowhere. At first, I kept moving, fearing they'd find me. Then I got stronger and grew braver. I recovered who I was and found a way to be myself for a while. Someone I actually wanted to be."
"Nikolai."