No fantasies about being gay but I like to fantasize about watching homosexual women doing it to each other, especially performing oral sex. That must be a joy! So many juices for pleasure. If I were a woman, I think I would prefer to be homosexual!
A fifty-nine-year-old straight man wrote:
If I were the second male with a woman, I could put his member inside her with my hands if needed. Doing a double penetration would be on the agenda, too.
A thirty-three-year-old woman wrote:
I am straight but I have fantasized about being with another woman just to know what it would be like and to pleasure my partner who, I know, would want to watch.
A fifty-one-year-old woman wrote:
I would like to know how it feels to have a woman make love to me. I hear there is much gentleness and that it’s very special.
A twenty-six-year-old woman wrote:
Yes, I do, and they’ve been increasing in frequency since moving to a city where bisexuality’s more accepted. I think one of the reasons I fantasize so much is because I’ve never done it; who knows, maybe I’ll kiss a woman and won’t like it at all.
I think women’s bodies are beautiful, in a different way from men’s bodies—which I also love. I’m fascinated by the idea of touching a woman’s breasts and belly, the softness of it as compared to the hardness of a man’s body. I’m a little nervous about it, since it’s an entirely new thing for me, and I haven’t really had any opportunities to act out on it. I’m working on it, though. I think I’d want it to be someone I don’t know well, but someone who’s inherently sexy—someone who’s attractive and just has sex appeal, male or female.
A twenty-three-year-old woman wrote:
A few times I’ve dreamed that someone was giving me oral sex and I open my eyes to find out it’s a woman whom I don’t know. My husband is watching from a chair across the room. I wake up really turned on.
A twenty-five-year-old woman wrote:
Several of my girlfriends and I were joking around with some guys at a party and told them we were going to so-and-so’s hot tub to play with each other. All the guys went wild. I had a friend once who would have done something like that but I don’t know where she is now. We used to dance together at parties and the guys would go crazy. We are both straight, but are also extremely open-minded and daring.
A thirty-five-year-old woman wrote:
I have had fantasies about being with another woman. It starts with passionate kissing and soft teasing rubs then moves on to oral sex play and fingering. We use vibrators and double dongs on each other. Finally I got so curious that I tried it. It was better than my fantasy. Yum!
A forty-one-year-old woman wrote:
Occasionally I fantasize about being forced to have sex with another woman while being watched by one or more men. In real life, however, I have no desire to experiment with another woman. I would probably be repelled by it.
A twenty-seven-year-old man wrote:
I have had homosexual fantasies. Mostly they involve a woman and a confirmed homosexual. The hot and lovely woman gently breaks down my defenses, getting me to let the guy touch me, then I touch him, he sucks me, I suck him, finally he takes my ass.
A thirty-one-year-old man wrote:
Homosexual fantasies accidentally slip into my psyche because I’m surrounded by attractive gay men in San Francisco. Frankly, however, I don’t have any interest in gay sex. My own penis is worry enough.
A fifty-year-old man wrote:
An interesting question. I am definitely heterosexual, and have been my whole life. I’ve never experimented or anything remotely like that. Lately, however, I must admit to being curious as to what it would be like to be “intimate” with another male.
My fantasy doesn’t go anywhere near anal intercourse, giving or receiving, but it does definitely include rubbing, massaging, and penile pleasuring for both of us.
I guess I must grudgingly admit to being curious what it would be like to play with another’s erect cock, and even sucking a guy off—and swallowing! It amazes me to admit that! Of late I have gone as far as to go on a couple of gay chat sites and put “feelers” out (no pun intended). There have been a couple of responses, but I’ve not acted upon them, and I wonder whether I ever will. I guess I’m afraid of being caught in the act, or of the experimentation affecting my “normal” life afterward.
I’ve read that this type of homosexual curiosity is not unusual, but it still is a deep dark hidden secret desire. I’ve not even come close to sharing this thought with my wife or anyone else.
A thirty-eight-year-old woman wrote:
I have had lots of sexual dreams about making love with another woman, partly because I’m so curious and partly because I am always so horny. I fantasize about what it would be like to touch a woman intimately, to go down on her, and to have her go down on me. Maybe part of the reason I wonder about it is that I don’t have much experience being on the receiving end of great oral sex. It’s something that I would like to know even if only once. Even though I am straight it drives me wild just thinking about it.
A thirty-nine-year-old woman wrote:
Here’s one of my favorite fantasies. While vacationing in the tropical islands, I meet a beautiful self-assured woman. We frolic and play, caressing each other. The touch of her lips on my breasts and her fingers caressing my pussy lips drive me to ecstasy beyond belief. We explore each other, learning about ourselves and our partner’s likes and dislikes. She learns that I like to be the submissive one so she uses that to her advantage by ordering me to kiss her lips, neck, breasts, thighs, and everywhere that pleases her. Then she does the same for me. We use a double-tipped dildo to fuck each other while rubbing breast to breast and French kissing. The vacation is one big long fuck fest.
A sixty-nine-year-old man wrote:
Phew. Well, here’s my homosexual fantasy. While cross-dressed, I am fondled and taken roughly by a man I met in a gay bar.
A twenty-two-year-old man wrote:
My most vivid recent fantasy is being tied up while men and women use me as a sex object. I don’t think I’d ever actually fancy a man in real life, but I often dream about being fucked by one. In my fantasy a man fucks my mouth, and another man takes me from behind while women suck my cock, twist my nipples. Then they all change places. Women sit on my face, blokes suck my cock—whatever goes, really, and I can’t do anything to stop it.
seven
AND LASTLY…
The One Thing No One Knows
about My Sex Life
THE ONE THING I’VE NEVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT MY SEX LIFE IS…
Secrets. We’ve all got them—little ones and big ones. I was very curious to read what things my respondents had never told anyone. The most common answer was, “The number of lovers I’ve had.” That’s a fine secret. I don’t think anyone needs to know how many people exist in a lover’s past. Who cares whether you’ve been with one, a few, or the entire New York Giants football team? As long as you practiced safe sex and are in good health now, your previous relationships are none of anyone’s business. All of your past has made you what you are today, and that’s fine.
A twenty-five-year-old woman wrote:
Some people know some, but no one knows the complete number of men I’ve been with. The number is higher than I would like.
Also, I went to a strip club with my boyfriend last year. I wanted to get on stage so bad but I had to drive home that night and thus was unable to drink. No one knows how much I would have loved to have a couple of shots and climb on stage, then strip to nothing and dance. People think I’m only joking. They don’t know I am serious.
Often, as I read the answers, I wondered why the respondent hasn’t told his or her partner the secret. The saddest thing would be for two long-partnered people to have the same fantasy yet never find a way to share it. I made a few suggestions about sharing sexual secrets in the introduction of this book. If you’ve got something you’d like to share
, look back and see whether you can make a few of your dreams come true.
A twenty-three-year-old woman wrote:
I wish I could be totally honest with my husband and not have him get insulted or annoyed. I would love for him just to get the urge to go down on me until I come, and not have any need for his own gratification.
A twenty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
No one knows that I really feel insecure about how I am as a lover.
A thirty-one-year-old woman wrote:
I feel like a complete nymphomaniac! I think about sex all the time, except when I’m at work. If I had the choice, I’d be having sex almost constantly. I would love to be a man’s sex slave!
A forty-three-year-old woman wrote:
No one knows that I have a fantasy about my husband. In my fantasy my husband walks up to me while I’m sunbathing and forces me to have sex. He ties me to the lounge, spanks my ass until it’s good and hot, fucks my ass, and comes all over my back. After he’s done he releases me and lets me continue sunbathing.
A forty-five-year-old woman wrote:
I would like to have two men at a time, one in my cunt and one in my mouth pumping and thrusting. That’s my secret fantasy.
A forty-seven-year-old woman wrote:
The only person I’ve ever told that I enjoy water sports is you.
A fifty-one-year-old divorced woman wrote:
No one knows that, although I was married for a long time, I have never had an orgasm. For a while I worked on it and tried to get my husband to do things to help me until I eventually realized it wasn’t important to him. I never even had to fake it… he never seemed to notice and I never told him. I thought it wasn’t important to me, either, but secretly I was mad as hell.
I’ve learned a lot since then and that guy and I are no more. I’m hoping to find someone who will understand and help me to learn about my body well enough to climax.
A fifty-eight-year-old woman involved in a long-distance relationship wrote:
Wow, tough question. Although my sex life is pretty tame, it’s really important to me. I’m sometimes surprised by the many things that turn me on physically during the day, and how quickly I can reach orgasm without really trying. I wonder what this must say about me as a person.
I guess there isn’t really anything I’ve never told anyone about my sex life, except how much I love sex, and how hard it is to live without it on a regular basis. As much as I enjoy my current relationship, having three thousand miles between us, and many, many, many weeks between visits, makes it very difficult to maintain a happy, healthy, sexual, and spiritual relationship.
A twenty-seven-year-old man wrote:
I’ve never told anyone about my desire to wear women’s clothes. Actually I’d love to have a woman control me, maybe by threatening to tell my friends about this side of me. She would then shave all my body hair, dress me in a wig, bra, satin panties, a garter belt, stockings, high heels, and a woman’s dress. Then she would force me to go out with her that way.
A thirty-two-year-old bisexual man wrote:
My bisexual thoughts are not the sort of thing I want known, although I would like to tell my wife someday.
A forty-year-old man wrote:
I’ve never told anyone just exactly how obsessed I am with sex. I think about having sex all the time. I dream about undressing women I meet during the day and eventually seeing them naked.
I am in no way dissatisfied with my wife’s body or sexual technique; it’s just that, although I’m able to satisfy my wonderment over her body, I can’t do that with anyone else. I envy Europeans who live in a culture where topless females are the norm, and nude females aren’t nearly as unusual as in America; Europe is way ahead of us in this regard.
When I look at a woman who catches my eye, I always wonder whether she notices, and if she does, how she feels about it. Does she like the admiration or resent the attention? Maybe she’s baffled by the attention since she views herself as very ordinary. Maybe she wonders whether I’m thinking about more than just admiring the view.
A forty-two-year-old man wrote:
I’ve never told anyone, but if I could ever find someone like the lady I had a relationship with many years ago I’d never let her go. Sadly she was six years older than I was, and six years seemed insurmountable when I was in my early twenties.
This woman was the most fantastic sex partner I’ve ever been with, and probably one of the best anywhere. She truly enjoyed sex. She would “style” her bush, which was an incredible turn-on for me. In addition to shaving it, she would one time show up with it in curls, and another time bleached, and the next time dyed black (she was a natural redhead). She enjoyed doing it and I found it sexy as hell.
A forty-five-year-old man wrote:
No one knows that my wife and I both keep our genitals cleanly shaved because we agree that sex is much better and cleaner without the mess of pubic hair. We shave each other from time to time and usually end it with a test drive!
A forty-seven-year-old man wrote:
I’ve never told any of my partners about my passion for masturbation.
Why in the world not? Mutual masturbation can be a delicious part of lovemaking. Why not try inviting your lady to join you?
A forty-eight-year-old man wrote:
I wish I wasn’t circumcised. My best friend growing up wasn’t, and I envied his equipment. I’ve always liked to play with my penis, and I envied guys who had that bit more to play with than I had. That friend and I played with each other when we were growing up, as boys will do of course, and I really enjoyed sliding his foreskin up and back like it was something magical. If it were up to me, I’d like to have mine back. Not even my wife, partner, and best friend for twenty-six years knows that one.
A fifty-two-year-old man wrote:
Okay… I’ve told very few people this. Many years ago, although I was married, I had sex with one of my wife’s former bosses. Let’s call her Ann. I was in my early twenties and Ann was in her forties. Her husband had left her for his younger secretary and it had dealt a crushing blow to her self-image. She was starving for love and sexual activity and I was just in the right place at the right time.
She was a petite woman and, although she had no breasts at all, she had very prominent nipples and the largest vagina and labia I had ever seen. Our lust burned out of control and we enjoyed each other on two separate occasions. Although that was thirty years ago, I still think about it.
A seventy-seven-year-old man wrote:
When I first went through puberty, several of us had a “jack-off” club. We had contests to see who could come the fastest and shoot the farthest. While my partner knows about that part of it, I’ve never told anyone that I tried to fuck one of the kids in his rectum. I couldn’t penetrate and that was the end of that but I’ve always worried that if I told anyone about it, they would think I was a “fairy,” when it was just an early-teen experiment.
There is one other thing. When I was young I always thought that after-sixty sex was just a myth. How wrong I was! And how happy I am about it!
A seventy-eight-year-old man wrote:
What most people don’t know? I never can have enough. It’s the greatest.
Terrific. I think I’ll make these wonderful men my poster children for sex after sixty, or seventy, or, soon, eighty.
A twenty-year-old woman wrote:
I never really told anyone that I would like to be with my best girlfriend. We have joked about it because our boyfriends over time have mentioned it as a fantasy of theirs, but I have never really told anyone that it’s something I truly think about.
A twenty-six-year-old woman wrote:
I guess I’ve never told anyone how much better it gets as my partner and I are together more and more, longer and longer, partly because I never really thought about it until now. We have been together for almost fourteen years and I can’t imagine feeling more loved, more comfortable, more in love than I am now
. He’s the only one I’ve ever been with and God willing, he will be the only lover in my life.
A twenty-six-year-old woman wrote:
I never told anyone how much I crave sex. The orgasms aren’t as important as that wonderful feeling of being as close to my husband as I could possibly get, and I want to feel that several times a day. I love holding him inside my body and my arms. Since my pregnancy has been difficult, the doctors have ordered no sex until delivery (still three months away). I miss this feeling of “oneness” most of all.
A forty-eight-year-old man wrote:
I met someone on a plane about ten years ago. We hit it off, went directly to her hotel upon landing, and spent twelve hours doing everything we could think of. I’ve never done anything like that again, but I think of that day often.
Naughty Secrets Page 23