“If you’re going to repeat what my dad just said, save your breath.”
He grinned, luscious, heart-stopping and handsome. “I was going to tell you that was some pretty great rodeo.”
“Funny.” She swallowed and clenched the reins hard, not to hold the horse steady but to hide her trembling hands.
“I’m going to find the kids with those firecrackers,” her dad grumbled and walked away. More like stormed. She watched him go and then turned back to Jeremy.
He leaned close. “You okay?”
“I’m good.” She rode her horse in a tight circle that put a few feet between herself and Jeremy. “You did great out there tonight.”
Couldn’t she think of anything better than that? Shouldn’t she tell him that she resented that he’d still tear down Back Street after everything the community had been through? Shouldn’t she tell him she wouldn’t let him break her heart?
Instead she’d complimented his riding skills.
“I need to cool this horse off before barrels. I can’t stand taking a crazy horse into the arena,” Beth said.
“Doesn’t he have a name? You keep calling him ‘horse.’” Jeremy reached down and patted the horse’s neck.
“Yeah, his name is Trigger. How’s that for sappy?”
“Cute. Call him Trig for short?”
“I guess.”
And then he did the unexpected. But if a person always does the unexpected, shouldn’t it become the expected? He rode up next to her and, before she could react, he was out of his saddle and sitting behind her. They’d done that a lot when they were kids riding in trail rides or just around the arena. He had one foot out of the stirrup and over her horse, pulling the two together and then sliding behind her saddle.
Trig hopped a little and then settled. Jeremy’s arms were around her waist.
“What are you doing?” She glanced back but then faced forward again because he was close behind her, so close she could feel his warm breath against her neck.
This was why he’d kept all the girls talking when they were teenagers. Because he always knew what to do, what to say to make a girl fall.
“We’re going to cool this horse down a little,” he answered. He had the reins of his horse in his hand and the poor thing followed behind, ears back.
“I’m not sure this is a good idea.”
She felt him shrug behind her. “Yeah, it probably isn’t. But since when do we make the best decisions?”
“I know this is hard for you to believe, but I’ve been working on that.”
“Are you saying I’m a bad decision?” He leaned close, his chin near her shoulder.
She inhaled and regretted it immediately, because he smelled so good. Her senses, the ones meant to derail bad choices and the ones that were tuned into the world around her, were all mixed up and colliding with a mess of other emotions.
The sharp scent of his cologne mixed with the mint of his gum. Combined with the rough feel of his hands on her arms and the warmth of his breath, she nearly came unraveled.
“Jeremy, what are we doing?”
He didn’t answer for a second. “Beth, I’m not even sure.”
Great, that made two of them. And she really needed for one of them to be sure of something.
“I think you should go.”
He leaned back. His hands were on her waist and he rode loosely behind her. “And yet you’re riding farther and farther from the arena.”
Hmm, he had a point. And yet she kept going. Behind her he laughed and she smiled. “I’m going crazy. That has to be what is happening to me.”
He reached and took the reins from her hands, trapping her between his arms, brushing his raspy cheek against her neck.
“I think crazy is okay once in a while, as long as you don’t do something you regret.” He kissed her on that spot beneath her ear and she closed her eyes for a brief second.
“Maybe.”
“But I’m going to go ahead and take your advice and say goodbye. You do mean go as in get off your horse, not go back to Tulsa, right?”
“I think that’s what I mean.” She smiled back at him and he turned the reins back over to her. She pulled the horse to an easy halt next to his gray gelding and he slid a leg over, settling back into the saddle. Beth watched him ride away, then turned and rode back to the arena.
Two years ago she’d told herself she wouldn’t travel this path again. She wouldn’t open her heart up just to have it broken. Shouldn’t it feel a little broken now?
Instead her heart felt as if the pieces were being put back together. By Jeremy Hightree.
And he had the ability to break it all over again. Either he’d leave, or he’d tear down the church. Both pointed to heartbreak.
So shouldn’t she put her emotions in check and make a break from him before either of those two things happened?
Common sense was pointing to yes.
Chapter Fourteen
Monday after the rodeo Jeremy sat in his lawn chair looking at Back Street Church. They’d had services again yesterday. But by next week Dawson Community Church would be repaired and open once again.
Back Street would be forgotten. Again.
A truck pulled into the parking lot and pulled up next to his. Tim Cooper got out. Tim took his hat off and pulled out one of the spare lawn chairs. He shook it open and sat down.
“Nice day for sitting.”
Jeremy nodded. “Yep.”
Tim glanced across the road. “Saw you on that monster bike yesterday. Is it yours?”
“No, we built it for a customer. I’m hauling it to Tulsa tomorrow.” The bike was already on the trailer attached to his truck.
Tim nodded. His gaze strayed to the church and he sighed. “It’s been here a lot of years. I guess we did sort of let it go.”
“Yeah, but it was here when people needed it.”
“You mean after the tornado?”
Jeremy nodded. It didn’t sit well with him, that the people in town were done with the building. It had served its purpose—again.
It had served a purpose when he was a kid. He didn’t really feel like sharing that with Tim Cooper. It was good that he had stopped by and all, but they weren’t ready for long discussions. But Jeremy had realized something about himself, and about this church.
The other day at his mom’s trailer he’d caught himself wondering about how he and Elise had survived their childhood. Now he realized he hadn’t survived on his own. Elise hadn’t survived on her own. Man, it was hard to look at that church and think about tearing it down. He and his sister had survived because of this church and the people who had attended it.
He let out a sigh and shook his head. “I have a lot of memories tied to this building.”
“Yeah.” Tim cleared his throat. “I guess we all do. That’s why I’m here. Joe Eldridge from the planning and zoning commission called me. He said they voted in your favor this morning.”
“In my favor, huh?”
Tim let out a long sigh. “Yeah, you have your zoning. You can go ahead with the demolition of Back Street Church.”
Months of working, fighting and waiting. Now that it was over, he didn’t know what to think. The people of Dawson were done with Back Street. The last family had moved out of the shelter that morning. He could move forward with his plans.
“I guess I’m not going to tear it down.” Jeremy glanced at Tim, his father. “I guess I thought it would make me feel better.”
“Sometimes a man has crazy thoughts.”
They both laughed. “Yeah, like dozing down a church. Like that dozer could really do the job.”
“So, what are you going to do with it? And what about the business?”
“I don’t know. I think I’m going to head back to Tulsa. And Back Street Church can go back to being a monument to the people in this town. Maybe they’ll need it again someday.”
“I hate to see you not build a shop here. There are people in town who need jobs.�
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Yeah, he knew that. He just didn’t know if he could stay here any longer. Yesterday he’d watched Beth leave church with her dad and brother and he hadn’t known how to deal with how he felt for her. He still didn’t know what in the world name to put on it.
He’d never been in love before. He’d made a lot of bad choices and been in a lot of relationships that had meant nothing to him. He’d walked away from women who claimed they loved him and he hadn’t felt a thing for them.
A few had told him he was breaking their hearts. So what was he going to do? Break Beth’s heart? He’d rather cut off his right hand than hurt her.
“That tree over there looks like it got shook loose in the storm.” Tim nodded in the direction of a soft maple that shouldn’t have been planted so close to the building in soil as sandy as this.
“Yeah, I noticed that the other day. The roots are exposed and some of the leaves are starting to turn. It’ll have to come down.”
“I’m supposed to be picking up a gallon of milk from the convenience store. I just wanted to stop by and see how you’re doing.” Tim stood up. “I guess you’ll be around?”
“I’ll be around. I’m keeping this land.”
“Right. You can take a guy out of Dawson but it’s sure hard to keep him away.”
“Something like that.” Because Vera had the best pies in the state and people here were friends for life. And family.
He stood up and held his hand out to Tim Cooper. Tim took it and held it tight.
“Any man would be proud to call you son.”
“I appreciate that.”
Tim stood there for a long minute. “I guess we’d like for you to keep coming to our family dinners, even if you decide to leave us for Tulsa.”
“I think I’d like that, sir.”
“That’s good.”
Tim tipped his hat down, turned and walked away. Jeremy watched him get in his truck and then he turned back to that tree. Time for it to come down.
Beth had saddled up for a ride through the pasture but she’d changed her mind. She hadn’t seen Jeremy, hadn’t really talked to him since the rodeo. And that left a lot unsaid. She didn’t even know what needed to be said at this point.
She knew that he had the go-ahead to demolish Back Street Church. She knew she couldn’t stop him. She knew it would hurt. It would also hurt him.
It took her fifteen minutes to get to Back Street. As she got close she heard the dozer. Her heart tightened and she urged the horse forward, into a steady gallop. They rounded the corner and the dozer was heading for the church.
She leaned and the horse stretched his legs and ate up the ground. As they raced across the lawn of the church she saw the dozer, saw Jeremy in the seat. She headed the horse toward the church, and positioned herself at the steps, between Jeremy and the building.
The dozer chugged to a stop.
“Beth, what in the world are you doing?” He leaned out, his hat shading his face.
“I’m stopping you from making the biggest mistake of your life.”
He sat there, staring. And then he shook his head. “You like to think the best of me, don’t you?”
She couldn’t stop trembling. And seeing red didn’t begin to describe how mad she was at him. “I do believe the best in you. I also know that I’m not going to let you do this.”
“Beth, listen to me…” He jumped down from the dozer.
Beth remained on her horse. She backed the gelding up a couple of paces and made like she was a lot stronger than she felt. She wasn’t backing down.
“You can get off that horse.”
“No, I’m not going to. I’m going to stay here until you change your mind.”
He snorted and shook his head. “You’re the most stubborn female I’ve ever met.”
With that, he walked away. Beth watched from her position in the saddle as he walked into his RV. All was quiet. The dozer was silent. The RV was silent. A few minutes later he walked out with a suitcase. He saluted and walked to his truck.
At the truck he stopped. “It’s all yours, Beth. The paper is on the table in the RV. I’ll be back in a few weeks to get my stuff. But try believing in someone. Just try believing that there are people out there who won’t hurt you.”
He tossed his suitcase in the back of the truck and drove away. Beth dismounted on shaky legs. She stood next to the gelding who turned to rub his head against her arm. She rubbed his face and leaned against him.
She waited for Jeremy to return. Years ago she had waited for Chance to return, but that had been different. She had awaited Chance’s return with fear, wondering what he’d do next. She’d wait, wondering when he’d unlock the bathroom door and let her out. She’d waited, finally, for her chance to escape.
She’d come home on a bus, bruised, broken and afraid she’d never trust or love again.
As she sat on the church steps, her heart truly broke. She felt it tighten with pain and crumble into pieces. Her throat tightened with emotion and regret. Tears, cold and salty, coursed a trail down her cheeks. The horse grazed at the end of the reins, chomping as the bit clicked. She shouldn’t let him do that. She should pull him up.
Instead she sat on the steps and waited.
A truck finally did come down Back Street. Jason turned into the parking lot and got out. Her brother walked across the lawn with an easy gait, a smile on his face.
“What are you doing over here?” He studied her face and she turned away.
“Trying to decide if my first mistake was trusting him or falling in love with him. I’m trying to decide if my second mistake was pushing him from my life or if that was the best thing to do.”
“Gotcha.” He sat down next to her. “So, where is he?”
“Packed a suitcase and left. He said the church is mine.”
“Interesting. But he left?”
She nodded and a fresh wave of tears and pain swept over her. She pulled up the collar of her shirt and wiped her eyes. She was so done with crying, so done with feeling empty.
Jason got up. “I’ll be right back.”
She nodded and continued to cry. The horse pulled on the reins. She pulled him back and tied him to the handrail. His ears flicked this way and that but then went back to show his displeasure because he’d been enjoying a patch of clover.
Jason returned, a paper in his hand. “He signed it over to you. Do what you want with it, he says. And there’s a P.S.”
“What?”
Jason grimaced as he read the note and then looked at her. He shook his head. She wanted him to read it. She wanted him to get it over with. “Jason, please?”
“He was only going to knock down the tree. But…” Jason shrugged and handed her the note. “You read it.”
She took the paper and held it tight. The words wavered and her eyes overflowed. “He was only knocking down that tree before it fell over and hit the church. And he didn’t feel like defending himself.” Good going, Beth. She closed her eyes. “I didn’t give him a chance to explain.”
Jason grinned at that little revelation and cleared his throat. “You were hardheaded?”
“It does run in the family.” She should have trusted him. He’d never given her a reason not to trust. “I just automatically think the worst. I don’t want to be that person.”
Jason sat back down. “You’re not that person. And Jeremy Hightree has a lot to work through. Maybe he’s trying to work through his feelings, or yours.”
“Mine?”
Jason leaned back and gave her a long look. “I’m not sure if he’s ever had anyone love him the way you do. That’s a lot for a guy to deal with.”
She started to deny that she loved Jeremy, but that was a pointless argument. She wouldn’t be sitting there on the church steps bawling like a baby if she didn’t love him.
“What do I do?”
“Give him time, Beth. He’ll be back.”
She glanced back over her shoulder at the church. The paper was in
her hand, telling her that it was hers. Her church.
“What do I do with the church?”
Jason shrugged. “I don’t know. You offered to buy it before. What would you have done with it if you’d bought it?”
The ridiculous situation dawned on her and she started to laugh. She laughed until she cried, but not sad tears. “Who gets a church from a guy? Other women get roses, jewelry, candlelight, romantic dinners. I get a church.”
“Alyson always tells me not to buy her flowers because they wilt. She’d rather have plants for the flower garden.”
“I have a church.” She sighed and stood up, facing the building. The horse walked up behind her, pushing his head against her shoulder. “I’m not sure what to do with it.”
Jason had stood. He untied the horse from the handrail and slipped the reigns over the animal’s head. “Pray about it, Beth. I can’t help but think God had a hand in bringing this all about. This church has sat here empty for the better part of the last ten years. It’s time for it to be used and you’re the person to decide how.”
She nodded and slipped her left foot into the stirrup. As she swung into the saddle her gaze went to the building. Again she sighed, because it was too much for one day. Jeremy leaving, the church, it settled heavy on her heart.
“I’ll pray about it.” She held the reins loosely in her right hand and smiled at her brother. “Thank you.”
As she turned the gelding toward home she heard a basketball bouncing on pavement. Two boys were walking across the parking lot, heading toward the basketball nets Jeremy had put up.
Beth smiled and watched the two kids as they started a game of horse. A few minutes later another boy arrived with his skateboard.
As she headed home, plans began to whirl through her mind. She didn’t have to urge the horse forward; he was ready to get home. They seemed to be in the same mood, both a little lighter and a little more free.
Chapter Fifteen
Jeremy walked through his Tulsa dealership studying the way the manager had arranged motorcycles. It was late June and the weather was great. Several customers milled around, probably dreaming of the perfect day and a bike to ride country roads. Yeah, he knew that dream. He’d spent the last couple of weeks, since he’d left Dawson, taking advantage of as many days like that as he could.
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