by Hamel, B. B.
Everyone seemed to think that I should cut him a break, but that wasn’t my style. I needed him to live up to my expectations. I didn’t want to have to stoop; I didn’t want to have to settle for half of him. I needed everything, his layers stripped away.
The night ended, and we left as a group, just like last time. I hung with Chuck, joking about some stupid show we’d both watched over the last weekend, and Noah was talking to Chelsea again. We got to the same spot we had all split up at last time, and again I headed out toward my apartment alone while Noah spoke to Chelsea in low tones.
I didn’t get far before I heard him. I knew I’d hear him. My heart began to race, and part of me wanted to run, to get away from whatever he was going to say, to forget him and move on. But I couldn’t. For as much of an asshole Noah Carterson was, I couldn’t seem to force myself away from him.
“Hey, wait up dots,” he called out. I turned and faced him, hands on my hips.
“What do you want?”
He stopped in front of me and frowned. His usual cocky half grin was gone. There was something serious about him, something bare.
“I’m sorry, Linda.”
I blinked. Did he just use my real name? I didn’t even have to hit him.
“You should be,” I said, a little off guard.
“I was a huge asshole earlier. I should have told you what was going on instead of ditching out. I shouldn’t have assumed it would be okay.”
I shook my head. “No, you shouldn’t have assumed.”
“I want to explain myself,” he said. I couldn’t believe how serious he was being. There wasn’t a single joke at my expense, not even a meaningful look at my chest.
“Fine, explain while we walk.” I started off toward my apartment, and he quickly fell in step with me.
“Remember that girl I was with the other week?”
“Stripper Barbie?”
He suppressed a grin. “Yeah, her.”
“What about her?”
“Like I told you, she’s been going through some shit. I can’t really say what, since it’s not my place, but I got a call from her roommate.”
I frowned. That was true, he had told me that he was helping her through something.
“And it was something only you could have helped with?” I asked.
“I know you’re skeptical. I don’t blame you. But it’s the truth, otherwise I wouldn’t have ditched out on you.”
I made a face, confused. “Fine, maybe I can forgive you for leaving to help a friend, but that doesn’t excuse the pot.”
He nodded. “I know. The shit with Ellie, it’s hard to deal with. Smoking weed is better than popping the pills my dad’s been shoving down my throat since I was a kid.”
I furrowed my brow. All of that was hard to believe, but definitely plausible. I had to admit, once he was back, he had been helpful, even if a little slow. The way he spoke seriously, earnestly, and his closeness all made me want to forgive him instantly, but there was something holding me back.
“Okay, fine. All of that’s true. Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”
He sighed, looking away. We crossed the bell tower and headed over toward Broad Street. “I don’t know, honestly. I don’t know where we stand. I wasn’t sure how much you wanted from me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Most girls I’m with don’t give a shit if I’m feeling anxious, so long as I pass the blunt and pay for dinner.” He paused and looked back at me. “I’m trying to figure you out.”
I stopped walking, staring at him. He turned on me, a small frown on his face.
“I don’t want your money or your drugs, Noah. I’m not interested in any of that.”
He stepped closer. “It’s okay if you are, dots. I just want to know what this is.”
I shook my head. “No, that’s not what I want from you.”
His body was inches away from mine, and I could smell his fresh clothes and his sweat. I suddenly realized how nervous I was.
“What do you want, then?”
“I don’t know.”
Without another word, he crushed my mouth with his in a bruising kiss, hungry and deep and more. I melted into him instantly as he wrapped his arms around me, his mouth opening and flooding mine with his perfect taste. As we kissed, ignoring the few people that walked by, I realized I knew exactly what I wanted from him. I wanted to strip off the filters and the fancy camerawork, I wanted to get beyond the costumes, and I wanted to figure out who Noah actually was.
Finally, we pulled apart, and he looked down at me with a burning gaze. I could feel his cock already swelling in his tight pants, pressed up against me.
“That’s what I want,” I whispered.
“I know you do, dots,” he said.
“Just when I thought you weren’t an asshole.”
He grinned, and then kissed me again, briefly but strong. When he pulled away, I felt like my breath went with him.
“I am sorry,” he said.
“Is your friend okay?”
He nodded. “She will be.”
“Next time, just talk to me.”
He moved away, and grabbed my hand. We began to walk toward my apartment in a comfortable silence. I felt like my knees were weak and shaking, and I realized how badly I wanted him to take me up into my room and to rip my clothes off. It was absurd; fifteen minutes ago, I was ready to punch him in the nose. Suddenly I couldn’t get the feeling of his swollen dick out of my mind.
We stopped in front of my apartment.
“I won’t be at work tomorrow or Friday,” he said.
“Why not? More good deeds?”
He laughed. “No, not exactly. I have to go to a premier in L.A. with my dad.”
I nodded. I had almost forgotten about his dad.
“Okay, well, have fun.”
“I won’t. But, speaking of fun, I’m having a party when I get back, on Saturday. It’s at my dad’s east coast house, which is a little north of the city in the suburbs. I want you to come.”
“I will. That sounds fun.”
“I’ll text you.” He grabbed my chin and kissed me softly. I had to resist grabbing him by the hair and crushing his face with mine.
He turned and started to walk back toward campus, and I stood outside of my apartment for a few seconds, catching my breath. I had no idea what to expect from him. I felt like I was meeting a new version of him every single time I saw him. I loved it, I realized. He was like a film with multiple endings, each equally interesting. Finally, I climbed up my stoop, and into my apartment.
Chapter Fourteen
We drove up Kelly Drive, winding along the Schuylkill River, past Boathouse Row and their beautiful year-round white Christmas lights, and up toward the Carterson East Coast Manse. Chris volunteered to drive, Selena volunteered her car, and I volunteered to procure a nice bottle of vodka to keep Selene and I entertained on the way there. Chris didn’t seem to mind; she almost always was the designated driver. Ever responsible, my Chrissy.
The roads out into the suburbs were windy and old, with a sheer cliff wall on the right side, and a beautiful jogging and walking path along the river on the left. We pointed north, passing under bridges and tunnels hewn out of rocks that were at least a hundred years old, and went out toward Chestnut Hill.
I was nervous. Of course I was nervous. I was about to see Noah’s personal life up close for the first time, although it wasn’t as if I were getting a tour. Although, part of me hoped that there were ulterior motives on his part. As far as I knew, it was supposed to be a low-key thing, just a few close friends of his hanging out in his father’s ridiculous house. The weather was warm, and I was wearing a cute and revealing top, but not too revealing, with tight black jeans and small heels. I was trying to walk the line, and felt like I was pulling it off.
“Fuck, I can’t wait to see this place,” Selena said, taking a slug of vodka.
“Cool it with that, guys,” Chris warned.
S
elena gave me a look and rolled her eyes. She was much less forgiving of Chris’s responsibility than I was. I laughed at her, taking a small sip, feeling good as its warmth filled my stomach.
“We leave by one at the latest,” Chris said. Kelly Drive turned into Lincoln Drive as we passed into the outer fringes of Philadelphia County. The houses out there were larger and older, Victorian style multi-million dollar things. Chestnut Hill was a small town centered around Germantown Avenue. It used to be home to German immigrants back in the 20s and 30s, during the very beginning of the suburban sprawl, but it quickly shifted to upper class mansions and rich folk.
“Yes, Mom,” Selena said.
“Unless you stay over, Lind,” Chris said, grinning at me in the rear view mirror. I was relegated to the back seat because it was Selena’s car. She was a diva sometimes.
“I doubt that’s going to happen,” I said, lying. Part of me was hoping for exactly that.
We turned off of Lincoln Drive, and wound our way through Chestnut Hill. Chris’s phone acted as the GPS, and I was positive we would have gotten lost without it. I was a little familiar with the area, but Chris had no idea where she was going, and she wasn’t exactly the best driver in the world. It was about ten at night, and there weren’t too many cars out on the roads.
Finally, we pulled up outside of an enormous house. It was probably the largest home I’d ever seen in the Philly area, white with dark blue shutters and beautiful Roman columns out front. It looked like an old southern plantation home, and I guessed it was older than all of our ages combined.
“Holy shit,” Selena said.
“Now that’s a mansion,” Chris laughed.
We began to drive slowly up the driveway. There were a few other cars parked, and some which obviously didn’t belong: old beat up clunkers, like Selena’s. My stomach began to do flip-flops as Chris pulled into an open space and turned the engine off.
She turned around and looked at me. “Not too late to back out.”
“Fuck that,” Selena said, climbing out.
I smiled at Chris. “I’ll be fine. I’m excited for this.”
She nodded, not convinced. “Okay then. Let’s see Mr. Rich Boy’s country home.”
I laughed and climbed out of the car, looking around. The three of us walked up to the front door. We could hear the thumping bass of club music pumping from inside, and I wondered if anyone would hear us knocking. Chris rang the bell a few times, and after a minute or two, the door pulled open.
Noah looked out at the three of us. My breath caught in my chest: he was handsome in a button down plaid work shirt and tight faded blue jeans and leather boots. His smile was genuine and he immediately locked eyes with me.
“Hey guys, welcome to my ancestral home.”
Selena laughed. “Nice place, Noah.”
“Thanks. Come on in,” he said, stepping aside.
We followed him inside, and I was immediate assaulted by loud music and the smell of beer. There were way more people than I had expected. It wasn’t a “low-key gathering,” like he had said over text, at all. In fact, it was a legit college bash with multiple kegs and at least a hundred people.
The downstairs was massive, mostly open spaces, with separate rooms for a formal dining room and a parlor. Those rooms were closed off with French doors, and he made it clear that they were off limits. Most people congregated in the living room and kitchen, with open sliding doors leading out to the back patio.
The whole place was richly decorated, and I suddenly had a stab of anxiety wondering what expensive piece of art was going to get ruined. It was inevitable at a party like this. There were three kegs and plenty of bottles of liquor with mixers, and people were doing shots and taking beer bongs by the sink.
Chris gave me a look that screamed “this is not what I expected,” and I shrugged in return. I could tell Selena loved every minute of it. Of the three of us, she was still in her party phase.
Noah led us out back. There was a large pool that curved gracefully around a hot tub. People were swimming, and some were sitting in the tub. There was another keg, and more liquor at a small bar positioned by the fake waterfall that fed the pool. People milled about everywhere, and I wondered how they all got out there. Noah stopped and faced us, gesturing out around him.
“Well, this is it. Get a drink, have a good time.”
“Thanks, I think I will,” Selena said loudly, eyeing up the bar.
“Feel free to swim or whatever.” He gave us another smile then walked off back into the house. I stared after him, wondering what was going on. He hadn’t so much as acknowledged me since I walked in, barely looking at me. I didn’t expect him to throw his arms around me make out with me right there in the middle of everyone, but anything would have been better than what I got.
“Don’t worry about it, he’s probably just stressed,” Chris said, sensing my discomfort.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
I didn’t have time to dwell on it too much because Selena was busy pouring us shots. Chris tried to decline hers, but we peer pressured her into at least one drink. We downed the tequila Selena had procured, and I felt a little better, the alcohol giving me a small measure of confidence. Once that was down, Selena thrust a full beer into my hand. I sipped at it, deciding that it would be my second to last drink. I didn’t want to get wasted and leave Chris to deal with everything on her own.
We wandered around, mingling with random groups, and it hit me hard how many people were there. I watched one guy do three beer bongs in a row, then stumble off wasted to dive into the pool. There was a room toward the back of the house with three ping pong tables set up, and a group of serious bros trying to organize a beer pong tournament. That didn’t last very long, and devolved into teams of screaming girls with enormous hair playing flip cup and spilling everywhere.
I didn’t see much of Noah after his initial tour. I kept catching glimpses of him in the crowd, but he kept moving around from one group to the next, blending in seamlessly. I kept trying to catch his eye, but any time I got close to him, he seemed intent on ignoring me. I had no clue what was going on, but I decided I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of upsetting me.
After about an hour of wandering around, witnessing one crazy situation after another, we transitioned back into the kitchen where a group of guys with backwards hats and khaki shorts began to pour shots for everyone. Naturally, Selena joined in, because she wasn’t able to pass up a chance to do shots with strange guys, and I was pulled along. We took them, and I felt a little tipsy, a pleasant floating feeling in my head and chest.
“You doing okay?” Chris asked me, looking concerned.
I threw my arms around her and pulled her into a hug. She laughed, surprised.
“I’m totally fine. I’m having fun!” I realized I was a little tipsier than I had thought, and decided to cut myself off.
“Yeah, good. I think hurricane Selena is about to make landfall.”
I pulled out of the hug and looked back at the group. She was standing there flirting loudly and suggestively with one bro who I was pretty sure could barely stand from being too drunk.
“Great choice she’s making,” I said, laughing.
“Yeah, I think I’m going to be carrying her home later tonight.”
“Thanks so much for doing this, Chris. I know you hate it.”
She shrugged and grinned. “I need to have some fun every once in a while.”
“We both do.”
I scanned the crowd again and couldn’t see Noah. I kept catching myself wondering where he was. The kitchen was getting crowded as another group merged with the one we had joined. They began to fill up beers and were having a loud chugging contest. Girls were practically screaming, and sweaty dudes I had never met before assaulted me on all sides with their stench and annoying chants.
“Maybe this isn’t my scene, though,” Chris yelled out over the noise.
I grinned at her. “You think?”
“What the fuck!” I yelled. A guy with long hair pulled back into a ponytail, a polo shirt, and pink shorts stared back at me, obviously wasted. He looked down at his now-empty beer, then back at me, and shrugged.
“Hey, asshole, you almost killed my friend,” Chris said, getting in his face.
“What the fuck do you want?” the guy slurred back.
“Are you kidding me? I’m going to kick your ass,” she yelled, getting aggressive.
“Fuck off, bitch,” he said.
Before I could step up and say something, another body appeared from the crowd, and the guy went flying, slamming hard into the wall. Noah appeared at his side, his face a mask of rage. Chris took a few steps back, shocked, and a ring of space opened up around him and the wasted guy.
“Don’t you ever talk to them that way,” he said loudly and menacingly.
His face was blank but there was something dangerous in the way he held his body. Without warning, the drunk guy pushed Noah a step back, and threw a punch. Noah easily ducked it then stepped back in closer and punched the drunk guy hard in the stomach, doubling him over. Noah grabbed him by the back of the shirt and began to drag him toward the front door as a cheer went up in the crowd.
I stared at them as they disappeared around the corner. Noah had come out of nowhere and took that kid out without a second thought. It was crazy and dangerous, and he could have been hurt, but there was obviously no hesitation. He had heard the guy insult Chris, and he had stepped in to throw the asshole out. I was in shock, still dripping wet. I hadn’t even seen Noah standing nearby, let alone close enough to hear what the dude was saying.
Chris looked back at me, obviously as surprised as I was. It happened so fast, and neither of us had a chance to do anything. Noah was quick and strong, and although the dickhead had been pretty drunk, I had a feeling Noah would have been able to take care of him no matter what.