by Alison Aimes
“Calm down? How can I? Something’s not right and she’s at the bottom of it.”
Nayla slipped from behind to stand by his side. “I no idea where spears came from. They no even look like pack ones. No symbols. Different shape. Longer length.”
Grif saw the moment his teammate realized the truth of her words and what Grif had already noticed.
The male’s scowl deepened. “You did it on purpose. To throw us off.”
Grif glowered right back. “If she was the enemy, why would she give them to us at all?”
“Then who did?”
He shrugged. “If I had to guess, the ghost. As for why, I have no clue. We’ve been assuming he’s a threat, but what if he’s watching us for another reason altogether? We’ve gotten so paranoid, maybe we’re seeing peril where there is none.” He cringed inside even as he said the words aloud, knowing he might be the one most guilty of that. “The glowing spears are definitely a nice surprise when we need them most.”
“So you’re saying the ghost is a good Samaritan?” Malin shook his head. “I think not. It’s got to be some kind of trick. I went to exactly where Nayla said the females would be. They weren’t there. She needs to be made to tell the truth. She’s sabotaging the mission and we’re letting her get away with it.”
“I no lie.” Nayla’s tone was thick with outrage. “Females were there. I leave them there myself.”
“They’re not there now,” the male shouted, turning so that he spoke to the others as well. “No one was. That camp was empty.”
“Nayla, let me handle this.” Grasping her wrist, Grif shoved her behind him once more.
Hurt shimmered at his back, a hot wave of disappointment and surprise. He suspected the trust they’d built had just taken another hit.
“Was there evidence someone had been there?” He leveled a stare at Malin.
“Yes. Along with signs they fled fast…as if they’d been warned. So, I went to the village.”
“You did what?”
“I followed the tracks. It was easy enough. The missing females were there. In three pens.”
A small gasp from the onlookers. He wasn’t sure who. Zale cursed. The tension in the air ratcheted up.
“Caged like animals,” snarled Malin. “Crammed in tight. Surrounded by females, children, and hunters, all going about their business, with a stack of glowing spears propped up right next to the pens, as if preparing for a fight.”
Worse and worse. Grif hid his concern. “At least we know where they are.”
“No thanks to her.”
“Were you followed back?”
“Of course not.”
“Then you need to put the spears on the ground and calm down while I come up with a new plan.”
Malin’s hold on the weapons loosened, the reminder of protocol enough to deflate his aggressive posturing. Sort of. “This means war.”
“War?” Nayla spoke once more, her voice sharp with tension. “You say no bloodshed.”
“Your people have ours in pens.” Malin was riled all over again. “That’s cause for more than bloodshed. There’ll be death.”
“Enough.” Grif’s roar silenced them both. “Combat crew meet me in front of….” He looked to see who’d had time to erect shelter. “Zale’s tent in five. Come armed. Except for Bain. I need you to find Maddox and Nash stat. They should have warned us if the ghost made any move toward pack land. I want to make sure they’re okay before we determine the connection between the relocation of the females and our ghost. The rest start erecting a tent to prepare for the survivors return.”
Most hurried away as ordered. Only Malin remained, along with the worried presence at Grif’s back.
“Grif.” A delicate hand landed on his shoulder. “You can’t.”
The weight on his chest pressed tighter. It was all unraveling, the strands he’d tried to keep hold of slipping out of his grasp. No matter how tight he held on. Despite his best intentions, despite his formidable will, he couldn’t protect her from what was coming.
He turned to face her. “I will do what I can, but we always knew it could come to this.”
“Trade me for them.”
He reared back. “No.”
“Yes.” Her voice was as soft as ever, but it echoed with a conviction that terrified him to his soul. “It’s best choice.”
“Not happening.” She was willing to die without any care for herself. Even after all that had been said. Did she think losing her would be so easy for him? His fury ignited once more.
“It’s a reasonable plan. It doesn’t have to be forever.” Malin’s comment surprised him. He’d forgotten the other male was there. “Just long enough to buy us time to get the females away. If she is really on our side, this will be the proof we need.”
“I don’t need proof.” Grif forced his fists to remain clamped tight around his weapon and not sailing toward Malin’s face.
It wasn’t easy. Especially since he could see how, with every doubting word Malin spewed, Nayla’s determination to demonstrate her innocence grew.
No matter what he did. What he said. The need to prove herself remained. As if his approval and support and care wasn’t enough.
“You won’t last the suns’ rise and you know it,” Grif snarled at her.
“Maybe.” She swallowed hard. “But Talg could have killed me many times. He never do. I-I don’t think he able let mate go, and I am only connection to her. I no think he kill me.”
“You want me to risk your life on a maybe?”
“No. I want you have faith in me.” She met his gaze head-on, the echo of their earlier conversation swirling in her wide iridescent eyes. “At the cliff, I show what I am capable of. I no hide behind you anymore.”
“I never asked you to. I just don’t need you throwing yourself in front of an oncoming shuttle for me, either.”
She tossed her chin high in the air. “You tell me to know my mind. This is it.”
“No.” He shook his head. This was exactly what he’d feared all along. “You’re not sacrificing yourself out of guilt or some desperate need for approval. That’s not strength. It’s cowardice of the highest order.”
She recoiled as if he’d slapped her.
“Hells, that’s messed up,” whispered Malin, “even by my standards.”
“Shut it,” he barked at the other male before pinning her with a hard stare. “It’s a bad plan. If you weren’t so caught up in your guilt and a desire to prove Talg wrong about your being unworthy, you’d see that. You may be willing to sacrifice yourself, but I am not.”
“You helped me be stronger. Now that I am, you don’t like.” She shouted back at him. “You can’t control everything.”
His rage flared. “Maybe not. But I can control you.”
Her head snapped up. “What that mean?”
“It means you are now confined to Zale’s tent until I’ve decided on a new plan and assured myself that you aren’t planning to go off half-cocked with Malin. Zale will stand guard.”
She reeled on her feet. “I-I am prisoner again? Even after all you promise me? Even after you say I always have choice.”
Guilt flooded through him, a bitter chalky taste that choked the back of his throat. He swallowed it down. He’d always been ruthless when it came to her. That didn’t change now. “A short-term confinement. I can’t have the distraction of worrying over you.”
Another soft intake. “You making a mistake.”
“At least we’ll both be alive to regret it.”
To his side, he could feel Malin’s approval, see the hint of a smirk creeping across his face. It made Grif feel like more of an ass—until he remembered all over again what she’d just offered to do.
“You say you want to stand by my side,” he snarled at her, “to take care of me like I do you, but all I see is a female who doesn’t think what we have is worth protecting above all else. You’re so ready to die. I want someone who I can count on to live.”
She paled, her golden color leaching to dull yellow. She opened her mouth, shut it.
Without a word, she turned and marched toward Zale’s tent.
Grif wondered if it was the kind of separation they’d never come back from.
44
Nayla paced the length of the tent, anger and uncertainty a tight pit in her stomach.
Outside, the faint rustle of Zale’s boots as he paced the perimeter beat a steady rhythm. He’d checked on her several times already, his gaze not hard, but not warm, either.
She was an outsider all over again.
Swiveling, she strode the length of the tent, worry for the females and her pack a constant.
She wondered when Talg had decided to move them and why. Had her disappearance been the cause? It was as good a theory as any. Ramm would have known she’d been captured. He could have told Talg, who would assume she’d broken and told. He’d always said she was weak and a danger to the pack.
Shame burned her at how easily she’d proven him right. It was also a reminder of Grif’s recent harsh words. Was she so desperate to prove her worth that she’d lost her way again? Had she truly let him down?
The clawing return of doubt was unwelcome. Being with Grif, she’d gotten used to other sensations: joy, pleasure, happiness, comfort, security, and pride.
Until recently, when he’d made her question herself once more. How dare he? They were supposed to be a team.
“Nayla, can I come in?” A soft voice echoed from the other side of the tent. “It’s Lana.”
Not the person she wanted it to be, but she was also desperate for news, and some answers. “Yes, come in. Please.”
She hurried to the flap entrance.
Lana barreled through, her worry easy to read in the tight lines around her eyes and mouth. “Are you okay?”
Nayla forced a smile. “Not really.”
Pity and concern played across the female’s face. Then, guilt. “I…I saw Grif and he seemed so upset, too. He asked me to come see you.”
The heaviness in Nayla’s chest increased.
“He’s with the others discussing what to do next, but he said he’ll come as soon as he can.”
“Thank you.” She cleared her throat. “He…he and I had more angry words. He did not like idea to trade me for females.”
“Yes, I heard.” Lana picked at a strand on the covering encircling her hips, her gaze elsewhere. “Can you blame him?”
Nayla’s eyebrows climbed to her forehead. She had expected Lana to agree, just as Malin had.
She paced across the tent, anger propelling her on. “You are one who said I should be strong. Who said to know my mind. I am reason the missing females are in those cages.”
“You are also the reason we know where they are and have the chance to rescue them.” Lana cleared her throat. “Sacrificing yourself won’t prove a thing.”
She stalled. “That’s what Grif said.”
“He’s right.” She closed the distance between them, her gaze soft. “You can’t blame him for wanting to keep you safe.”
Nayla studied her. “Why you defending him? You always tried to separate us.”
The other female blushed. “I, ah, I heard you arguing earlier. Your voices were raised,” she hurried to explain. “I wasn’t trying to listen, but…I don’t know…once I started listening, I couldn’t stop.”
Nayla’s cheeks warmed. “Then you heard him say I was coward.”
“Oh, yes. I also heard you meet him head-on and express yourself without fear. Th-that’s something I could never do with the males who held me captive. It’s something I struggle with even now. But not you. You’re not afraid to challenge him. Share your thoughts. He doesn’t hold back, either. That’s not the pattern of a captor and captive.” Lana smiled. “It’s the knockdown, honest-to-goodness blueprint of two equals. You give each other space and courage to be who you are. It made me realize I’d been wrong. You two are good for each other.”
The female’s words were bittersweet. “He wants push me away. Then, he’s furious when I offer to go.”
“He loves you.”
Nayla’s breath left in a rush. “W-what?”
Lana sighed. “I didn’t think you knew. He loves you. There’s nothing more terrifying for a man like him. Especially if the female he loves is spreading her wings and learning to fly.”
“He loves me?” Wonder curled through her.
“Yes.” Lana confirmed. “I’m certain of it. Just as I’m sure this rotation must have really scared him. You know what he is. Who he is. Don’t think he doesn’t want you to be strong, but even he has his limits. He’s not going to stand back and let you die.”
You’re so ready to die. I want someone who I can count on to live.
Nayla’s heart beat fast, his final words striking her differently this time. “He thinks he can save everybody. He doesn’t want what happened to his sister to happen to anyone else. I didn’t mean to scare him. I only want to show him that I am strong like him.”
“Consider being as patient with him as you say he’s been with you. You told me before you liked his gentleness, but you preferred him fierce and monstrous. I, ah, I was surprised at the time, but I realized after that I was also jealous because it was clear you accepted him as he is. Did he do the same for you?”
She answered without hesitation. “He knows all of my secrets and my fears. He says we fit.”
“You are lucky. Most of us never find the courage to show someone else our true selves, much less gain acceptance when we do.”
“You are right. In my anger and hurt, I forgot. What we have is special.”
“Special enough to fight for? Even against the stupidity of the male himself?” Lana smiled. “Today, he was reminded twice that he can lose you. That he doesn’t have the control he thinks he does.”
“You are right.” Relationships were new to her. Love even more so. But she was coming to understand. “He needs the same patience and understanding he gave me.” She tapped her chin. “We need another session. I will find my own ropes.”
Lana’s eyebrows shot to her forehead.
Nayla was too busy wading through all she’d learned.
Grif would do anything to save those in need. He’d never pretended to be anything else but a hero and a protector. His fierceness, strength, and ruthlessness had brought them together. He’d pushed past her pain and fears, sheltered her through her doubts. Proven to her he would always be there.
Now, she would have to do the same.
That was true caring. That was the piece she’d been missing.
All this time she had been focused on proving her strength and her worth. But Grif already saw those parts of her. What he needed to know was that he could depend on her.
“Thank you, Lana.” She held two fingers to the middle of her chest and then pressed them to the center of the female’s. It was a pack gesture of affection. It felt right.
The female’s eyes went round, her pleasure obvious. “You’re more than welcome. I…I hope that you’ll forgive me for my interference and that…that we can be friends.”
Another whisper of wonder. Another first. “I would like that.”
The tent flap crashed open, hitting the wall.
Grif strode through, his expression stormy and fierce. “Lana, I need you to go now.”
“What is wrong?” Nayla gripped her friend’s hand. She hadn’t seen Grif look this lethal since he’d first captured her.
“I-I don’t know what’s going on.” Lana stepped in front of the raging giant barreling toward them, her fear obvious. “But I do know you’re angry. You need to calm down or you’ll regret it. You may not realize it yet but you love her, you fool.”
Every muscle in Grif tensed, his voice dropping to a low lethal growl. “Of course, I love her.”
Nayla swayed on her feet, hearing the words aloud somehow even more wonderous than she could have imagined.
Jaw tight, he stalked closer. �
�I have loved her since the moment she told me her name. I will love her until my last breath, no matter what choices she makes or what she decides she needs for her happiness. But I will never be calm while she is in danger. Now, out of the way before I move you myself.”
Lana stumbled back. “Danger? What kind of danger?”
Poor female. At this moment, Grif was his true self and she was terrified.
Nayla’s reaction was altogether different. Her heart soared. Her fears settling as Grif’s ferocity worked its usual magic, stoking the fire inside her even as it soothed her soul.
She would never get enough of his intensity. Like a plant that had grown up in a dry desert and was always thirsty, proof of his affection sated her as nothing else could.
Stepping close to Lana, she gave her a gentle squeeze. “Thank you for standing up for me. For being a friend.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw some of the tension leave Grif’s shoulders as he registered her words. “But you never need to protect me from Grif. He is my sanctuary—and I am his. We will always find our way back to each other. We are bound by ties too strong to break.”
“Nayla.” Her name was a rough whisper, thick with emotion.
Her heart fluttered. He was such a fierce man, so strong and powerful, but unlike the stoic pack, he felt. Intensely. And though it might lead to loud words on occasion, it was exactly what she wanted. What she was strong enough and wild enough to handle—and give in return.
Leaving her friend’s side, she moved to stand in front of him.
She rose to her tiptoes, cupping his jaw, the rough stubble beneath her palm so familiar and so beloved. “I cannot say what the future holds, but I realize now what you need from me. I will not risk myself again without good reason.”
“Nayla.” Her name was a plea and a blessing. Solid arms wrapped around her, hauling her up against his hard chest as a shudder ran through him. “Loving you isn’t a choice for me, it’s a necessity. I know I’ve got some control stuff to wrestle with, but I’ll do better. There is no life for me without you in it.”
She didn’t know why the Ancients had proven so kind to her in the end, but she would be grateful to them until her last breath for bringing this extraordinary male to her.