by N. K. Love
Grabbing my legs, he runs his thumbs down from my knees, stopping just short of my pussy. He takes hold of his cock and slowly strokes himself up and down.
“Watch.” Pulling his hips back, he angles himself to inch his way inside of me. The shimmer of his chain draws my attention up, leading me to enjoy the intense pleasure written all over his face as he watches our bodies beginning to fuse together. Glancing up to my face, he smiles and then repeats himself more firmly this time. “Watch, B.”
We both watch as he takes his time, edging his way into my pussy and then pulling back to start over again. I’d call it teasing but that might suggest I want him to hurry up, which I don’t. He knows exactly how to play my body; every move, every touch and every sound… I’m like an instrument that only he will ever master, expertly tuning me into his ways from day one.
Being so sensually stretched has my eyes rolling to the back of my head as I purposely take in deep, controlled breaths to stop myself from tipping over the edge too soon. A slap on the ass springs me back from wherever I’d drifted, earning me a knowing smile from Jax. He grabs my ankles and plants my feet onto his hard, wet chest. Using my hips to work in sync with his thrusts, he continues his leisurely pace. Each time he reaches the deepest point, he gives my hips a subtle extra tug before pulling back and repeating.
We both intermittently switch between looking into each other’s eyes and then watching between my legs, as my pussy slowly swallows him. The intensity of the two is an irrepressible combination, causing my controlled deep breaths to rapidly evolve into desperate gasps for air.
Jax sucks in his bottom lip, biting down, baring his teeth and unwittingly showing me that signature look that has me squeezing his cock tighter from the inside. Reaching down, I rub his balls against me, whilst stroking my thumb around his root.
Steadily shifting my feet back down onto the blanket, he continues his long strokes whilst guiding my thumb further up and into my pussy, alongside his cock. Pulling my hand straight up to his mouth, he licks the length of my thumb and sucks on it hard. At the same time, he’s pushed his thumb into my mouth and I mirror him.
Moving my hand away, I hold the back of his head, easing his face down to mine until we’re nose to nose.
“I’m ready, Jax.”
He nudges my face to the side and bites along my jaw, nipping his way up to my earlobe and I feel the roughness of his beard against my neck.
“You gonna come with me, B?” He says with a shaken whisper.
“Mmm… Yes. Just like this.”
With his hands no longer on my hips to guide me, I open my legs wider and start to grind into each thrust myself. My orgasm tiptoes quickly towards us.
“You like that, Angel?” He growls against my cheek, dragging his teeth over my jawline. “Let me feel you come, B… I want it all. Everything.”
Giving way, I let my climax take over. I slam our foreheads together and our eyes pierce straight through to each other’s souls. Panting in short intakes of air, I don’t even recognise half the sounds coming from my mouth. They’re all melded amongst the incoherent words, seemingly deconstructed from the loving sentences in which my mind intended them for.
Knowing how to draw this euphoric ride out, Jax neither quickens nor hesitates. His pursuit continues relentlessly. Just as the ripples of pleasure die down, Jax grips a fistful of hair at the top of my head and moans out my name as he comes hard. Having the effect of dropping a boulder in the ocean, those delicious ripples of mine build up again, spreading outwards, all over my sated body. Jax grinds down into me, embedding every last drop.
Our open mouths overlap as we breathe heavily into one another, never looking away and barely even blinking. Whether it’s the fact that we’re on a beach in paradise or maybe a release from the emotional rollercoaster we’ve been on this week, I don’t know. But I do know that this man makes my heart sing in a way I didn’t know existed. This kind of love is beyond measure. It’s so pure and fragile, it makes me feel strong and vulnerable at the same time.
“I love you, Jax. I love you so much it hurts.”
“Get used to it, Angel.” He kisses me. “I don’t plan on ever giving you a reason not to love me… And I will do my best to never hurt you in any other way.” He kisses me gently on the lips and then the nose. “I love you, B.”
Easing out of me, he tells me to hold on to him as he pulls us both up, bringing the blanket with us. He makes sure I’m completely covered, with the warm blanket wrapped around us both. Turning us to the side, we both face the ocean and gaze up at the sky. I rest my head on his chest and listen. Just like putting your ear to a seashell, I listen. Instead of hearing the ocean, I hear the captivating sound of his strong heartbeat. The heart that I somehow won.
This beautiful, loving heart belongs to the man that swept me off my feet and showed me what it feels like to not only lose myself in the moment, but, more importantly, how to find myself too. I’ve learned how to be me. He has shown me not only how to love but how to be loved.
“So, the list is complete… Little did I know I’d be ending it like this, making love to the man of my dreams on this beautiful beach! Jaxson Carter, I am so utterly, head of heels in love with you—”
“Hey, beautiful… Keep talking like that and I may just have to write a new ‘Fucking List’, starting with you and me over there, against those rocks!”
“Don’t tempt me, G.”
With my deep and meaningful moment swiftly replaced by a kinky conveyor belt of sexual positions to choose from, we decide to head back up to the cottage.
Keeping the blanket cloaked around us, Jax scoops up our wet clothes along the way.
“I saw the opened envelope on the side earlier… I was worried it’d freak you out… But from what I gathered back there, that’s not the case?”
I elbow him in his ribs and he laughs but he was clearly serious about thinking it’d freak me out, which must’ve been why he wanted to give me space to read it alone. Stopping us, I turn into him so I can see his face fully.
“Jax, you wrote that based on a set of circumstances that, thankfully, didn’t occur. So, I just need to know where your head’s at? Where do you stand now?”
Looking at me with confidence, I still pick up on the shyness in his smile.
“Right now, I’m standing on a beach, with my incredible girlfriend in my arms, asking her if she’d like to try and make this hopeless man a daddy, one day.”
Holy fuck!
“Really, really?!” I half squeal, half sob. “We can try—one day—we can try?”
“Beth, you’ve rocked my world. You’ve awakened me and put my life back on track. I want this. I swear to God, I want this, with you and I will do whatever I can to give us the best chance at making this work for us.”
7:05am
I lie here in a daze and proudly, mentally check off the final item.
Fuck It List
1. Blowjob
2. Handjob
3. Cunnilingus
4. Sex in a workplace
5. Sex in a car
6. Sex in the shower
7. Multiple orgasm
8. Get a tattoo
9. Get a piercing
10. Sex on the beach
11. Phone sex
12. Cybersex / Sexting
13. Tantric sex
14. Get stoned
15. Use food / ice sexually
16. 69
17. Kiss a girl
18. Tie somebody up
19. Be tied up
20. Watch a porno alone
21. Watch a porno with a partner
22. Do a lap dance
23. Do a strip tease
24. Sexual role-play
25. Make a sex tape
26. Sex outdoors
27. Go to strip show / live sex show
28. Be spanked
29. Hit somebody
30. Kinky sex
Half awake and half asleep, I hypnotically trace aro
und the outline of Jax’s ink, whilst thinking about all of the goodness that has happened to me since that drunken night at Will’s house, when we first wrote my Fuck It list.
Back then I was obliviously plodding along without a clue that this type of happiness was out there, let alone about to consume me. Seeing my parent’s endless love over the years, I always wanted that. But, I had no idea what my heart was capable of feeling for one person. Jax was a stranger to me three months ago. In fact, it was three months ago today that we first spoke; 20 March.
A random thought springs into my mind… We first saw each other in the gym on the day before, 19 March 2015. The security code Jax gave me to get to the hidden hole in the outbuilding was 19-03-15. I smile to myself not just at how stupidly touched I am, but because I’m finding it easier to remember those horrible moments and replace them with feelings of positivity. I’m alive, Jax is mine and he sees us with a family in the future.
Life is for loving and I fucking love my life.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Thursday 25th June 2015
8:14am
Hearing the door shut, I know Jax has been for his daily trip to grab a morning newspaper. I jump up from the bed, half naked and run out of the room. He sees me coming and just about has time to put his drink down before I fly straight into his arms. Hearing his newspaper drop to the floor, I wrap my legs around him tightly.
“You’re back.” I squeal.
“And you’re lively.” He laughs.
Spanning his large hands down my back, he squeezes my backside and plants his succulent lips on mine. My ache for him falls away a little as I relax into his mouth and taste the happiness his body always holds for me.
“Mmm. I’ve missed you.”
I drop my legs but he holds me off the floor by a few inches with one arm and takes his drink off the table. Angling the straw towards my lips, I suck a mouthful of refreshing coconut water as he walk us into the bedroom, kicking the door behind him.
“Beth, you were asleep when I left and I’ve only been gone a minute.”
“A minute too long.”
Sitting me down on the edge of the bed, he sucks his straw whilst drinking me in.
“How do you manage to sound cute when you’re dressed like that?”
He puts down the glass and squats down in front of me, running his forefinger off my chin and down my cleavage.
“Don’t try to distract me. I’m super excited because now that you’re back, we can go!”
Clapping my hands with an ear to ear grin, his face lights up with amusement.
“Angel, we don’t sail for another hour. We have plenty of time.”
“Noooo you don’t, Jax. There’s no time for that. Today’s the day. We need to shower and get gone.”
Jax remains persistent and pushes my body back with his fingertips until my top half is lying across the bed.
“Beth, are you going to make me use my forty-eighth and final wish on you?” Burying his face between my legs, he inhales deeply and I jolt my hips back. “You smell like sex.” Digging his teeth into my pussy through the thin material of my knickers, he groans and I melt. “And you know how much I love the taste of our sex.”
“Well, we were fucking an hour ago.”
I can already feel myself getting wet again.
“Miss Taylor, I may have to wash your filthy mouth out with soap.”
Now he licks me from back to front, letting me feel the warmth of his tongue. Either side of the material I feel the slight touch of his flesh, causing me to writhe, making a pathetic attempt at pulling his head away.
“I’d prefer your dick to the soap—it may be a more effective method.”
“I highly doubt that.” Sinking his teeth into my thighs, he bites down hard. “But, let’s take that shower and test your theory, B!”
9:02am
In the back of the car, I plait my damp hair into a chunky plait and let it hang down over the brightly coloured sleeveless dress Jax bought for me yesterday. It’s covered in palm trees and tropical birds. I’ve matched it with some white wedged sandals and decorated my toes with lime green nail polish and a silver toe ring. The sun has kissed us every day this week and my bronzed skin feels revitalized.
The day after arriving, Jax strolled out of the bathroom clean shaven. I missed his beard at first but since then with the way the sun has blessed his face, extenuating his gorgeous features, I’ve forgiven him. That day he sat me down and told me that he has been in touch with his brother. I couldn’t contain my excitement. It just felt like all the dots were connecting, aligning our future and I was elated for him.
To make matters barely comprehensible, he revealed that they’d been plotting to reunite this week! Jonty wanted to make arrangements for their parents, Jonty and his wife to fly over immediately but Jax—without going into detail—told him that we needed a little time alone first. What’s more, the Carter’s own a beachfront penthouse on the opposite side of the island, which, in hindsight, is why he chose to bring us here.
Today is the day and I’m sick to my stomach with nerves for Jax but trying my best to convey pure positive vibes. I keep catching glimpses of apprehension from him, which emphasises how much of a turning point this for him—for both of us. I’m so proud that he’s overcoming his fears by reaching out to them. That shows me that he’s started to see that he is worthy. I pray today is one he’ll remember and hold dear to his heart forever.
Jax told me back at The Dion that he had six wishes remaining and when we arrived her he said that he intended to make a wish a day. I’ve got to love his enthusiasum. He has definitely made the most out of my freckles!
His first wish was used up after failing to convince me to drive a jet ski. I was so nervous about it. He said after the way I reacted to driving his quad bike, he knew I’d love it and he was right! After my first go, I was addicted to the adrenalin rush and we spent another hour on them.
My favourite wish granted this week, was when he took me to dinner and presented me with a blindfold at the table. He asked me to wear it throughout our meal because he wanted me to try lots of new cuisine without seeing it first—then he made some quip about judging a book by its cover. I was understandably reluctant; not only were we in a busy, high-end restaurant but I was also fearful of tasting something that made me gag and embarrass myself. As soon as he uttered the word ‘wish’ I was doomed. There was me thinking that he’d not made a wish in the day because he was saving it for the bedroom!
I granted his wish and he slipped the blindfold on for me. Ordering a sample of everything, Jax worked us through the entire menu. After the first few awkward tastes, I noticed that the buzz in the restaurant had continued and I began to relax and started to really enjoy myself. I tried so many of the local delicacies. The fruits and desserts were lush but my favourite by far was the house bouyon, especially the tasty plantains, ground yams and the dumplings—those were almost as good as Jax’s.
Jax always finds ways to challenge me. In fact, we enjoyed ourselves so much I suggested we open our own specialty restaurant, designed to drive your taste buds wild—I’d call it ‘Taste Me’ and every place setting would come with a blindfold. Couples dating or in relationships could come and take turns feeding each other because I swear to God, that sexperience was like a master class in clothed foreplay! Needless to say, the blindfolds in my restaurant would be complimentary so they could be taken home and put to good use, just like ours was!
Leading up to today we’ve managed to find the right balance between having lazy hours alone and getting out and about, exploring the island.
On the weekend, Jax took me to the nearby botanical gardens, where huge, beautiful butterflies flew all around us, even landing on Jax’s head at one point. They looked like pieces of fluttering artwork. It was a lovely date!
On Monday, he arranged for us to go on a speed boat excursion to the Anse Chastanet reef to go snorkeling amongst their crystal clear waters. We soon learned
how utterly breathtaking Saint Lucia’s underwater world is. Then to top the most awesome day off, instead of travelling back on the speed boat, Jax surprised me with a helicopter ride touring around the island! It was my first time in a helicopter and it blew my freaking mind.
For the first part of the tour all I did was squeal, point and say ‘Oh my God, look at that!’ We saw countless crescent shaped white sand beaches, fascinating shorelines, fishing villages, waterfalls and the reef we’d just been exploring! We were privy to some hidden gems on the island that we wouldn’t have seen otherwise and I soaked up every second of it.
Towards the end of the tour, we were circling the twin volcanic peaks of the Pitons and as the guide was sharing their interesting facts, Jax casually leaned over to me and said, ‘We’re hiking up Gros Piton tomorrow!’