When she opened the door and went outside while muttering something about clothes in the dryer, he realized what was happening. He jumped up to follow her.
Jamie was sleepwalking and heading toward a large body of water.
“Jamie? Where are you going?”
“I need to find Wes.”
“I’m right here. You found me.”
“Oh. I’m sorry I made you worry,” she said. He turned her toward the moonlight to see if she was still sleeping. She appeared to be; her eyes weren’t focused on him.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I always make you worry.”
“You don’t do it on purpose.”
“I think I do.” Her voice was slurred, as if she was too tired to speak clearly.
“Why do you think that?”
“I like that Wes cares about me.” Her shoulders fell, as if this admission was too heavy to carry any longer. She was back to talking about him instead of to him.
She walked off again, muttering, and he followed behind her to make sure she was okay.
She abruptly turned to face him and stopped walking.
“Jamie?” He kept his voice low so as not to startle her awake. He waited a second longer, debating whether or not to push her. “Do you love Wes?” he asked, curiosity getting the better of him. It was an important question, since he realized during his late-night evaluation that he was totally crushing on his wife. Was he in love with her? He couldn’t be sure, but he knew he felt something more than just friendship.
“He’s a good kisser,” she said before she turned to walk away again. While he’d wished for more, he was pleased she liked kissing him. He sure liked kissing her. And not just the big kisses, but the little casual kisses that people in committed relationships shared.
“Come on, Jamie. Let’s go back to bed,” he urged.
“Okay,” she agreed as he put his arm around her and led her back to their cottage. He tucked her in and kissed her forehead.
As he was walking around the bed to get in on his side, he heard her sigh and then she said, “I love him.”
Or that’s what he thought she’d said. Hell, she might have just been mumbling again and he’d heard what he wanted to hear. Even if she had said it, it didn’t mean she meant it. She was sleeping.
Sleep conversations didn’t count.
He pulled her against him and closed his eyes.
* * * *
The goal-setting workshop was scheduled for after breakfast. It was the workshop Jamie was really looking forward to. She had issues with goals. And while she wouldn’t be using the skills for marital goals, she assumed learning how to set and meet goals would be the same whether they were romantic, business, or personal goals.
Jamie was usually content with what she had and what she did. However, there was a fine line between being content and being lazy, and Jamie thought she may have wandered across that line.
When she’d graduated from college she had the same goals as most of her friends. Find a great job. Check. Find a great guy. Not so much. Get married. Not even close. Have kids.
She felt a little sad on that last one. She actually did like kids and loved playing with her friends’ children. But she wasn’t ready. Mainly because she hadn’t completed the steps in between.
She’d met the first goal and gotten stuck. The great guy was out there and she had been doing her best to find him. Okay, so maybe her best wasn’t searching the Go Fish dating site, waiting for a nibble. But she thought she’d start with the easiest solution first.
“We’re going to be talking this morning about our goals,” Misty said.
“My goal for today was to lie on the beach and finish my first drink before ten.” Curt couldn’t help himself.
“That is a short-term goal. Today we’re looking at long-term goals. It’s important that your partner understand where you want to go in your life. What expectations you have for your future together. Many times couples go off on their own goals without knowing their partner’s goals and they don’t end up at the same place.”
Jamie frowned. It was bad enough that she hadn’t moved toward her goals. She couldn’t imagine how much harder it would be if she was forced to align her goals to another person’s.
Unless that person shared the same goals. She glanced to the man sitting next to her. They had so much in common, what if they were heading along the same path and didn’t even know it?
“It’s easy for us to assume the other person is happy with the way things are at that moment. And they may very well be, but people change. Relationships change, what we need and want change as we move through life. Without knowing where our partner is heading, how can we know how to help them reach their goals? Or ask them for what we need to reach our own?”
Jamie looked at Wes, who looked back at her with what she guessed was a mirror expression of confusion. They’d never discussed their life goals.
“So rather than jump in the deep end of the pool, let’s start small. Let’s talk about today. Curt has already shared what he wants to accomplish today. Take a moment to look at your partner and tell them what you want to do for the rest of the day.”
Wes turned to face her, taking her hands in his—though that wasn’t part of the exercise. “You can go first,” he offered, always the gentleman.
“I kind of liked Curt’s idea, only I would throw in a book.” She smiled.
“That does sound good. I was thinking I’d like to go hiking. They have an excursion leaving at ten thirty, but relaxing would be nice too.”
Jamie tilted her head to the side and squeezed his hands. How many times did he change his goals to match hers because it was easier? She hadn’t realized.
“We could do both.” It would be nice to go for a hike. “Let’s go do the excursion, then we can come back and spend the rest of the afternoon on the beach before dinner.”
“Wow. I think we’ve just mastered compromise.” He laughed.
“And we didn’t even have a workshop on compromise.”
“Go us. We’re rocking this marriage shit.”
They were instructed on how to make the next goal and the next. And how those long-term goals weren’t written in stone. They needed to stay fluid for the things life threw at them.
They held hands as they went back to the cottage to change. With moves like choreographed dancers, he tossed her the sneakers from her suitcase before grabbing two bottles of water from the mini-fridge. She threw some sunblock in her day pack and he added the water. It took them eleven minutes to be ready to get to the bus.
Their guide was a charming man who promised a morning full of beautiful sights and waterfalls. Jamie patted Wes’s leg in excitement and he linked his fingers through hers. No one from their group was there to witness his affection, so she knew it was just for her.
Things between them were changing. She found she wasn’t afraid of the change. Instead she was just as excited about what came next for them as she was about seeing a waterfall.
* * * *
Wes held out a bottle of water to his wife as they caught their breath from the climb. They were getting quite the workout, but the view was worth it. Green trees covered the mountainside, plunging down to meet white sand and blue water.
“It’s beautiful,” Jamie said after wiping away a drop of water from her lip with the back of her hand. “To think I would have missed this if we had only gone with my goal for the day.”
“As beat as I am now, I’m looking forward to fulfilling your goal.”
They stood, silently staring at the view for a long moment.
“What are your long-term goals?” Jamie asked. They had discussed techniques in class, but not the goals themselves.
He shrugged and kept his gaze straight ahead. He didn’t want to discuss the future. Not when the h
ere and now was so perfect. Jamie wasn’t deterred.
“Are you planning to stay at Blain and Douglas forever?” she pushed.
“I don’t know. I’m happy there for now.” But he had only until the beginning of April to decide if he was going to take up the reins at his family’s company. Out of respect for his brother, he had been thinking about it. But he wasn’t any closer to making the decision.
“Your family lives in New York. Don’t you want to get a job closer to them?”
“I like Boston.” He didn’t answer her question, but she let it pass.
“What do you like about it?” She winced, and he knew she was remembering the dingy snow they’d left at the airport.
“I like that it’s not New York.”
“You don’t want to be near your family.” She knew very little about his family. Mainly because he didn’t like to talk about them. He was too riddled with guilt to discuss his brother. Too annoyed to talk about his mother. And too angry to speak of his deceased father. He’d told her the basics and she’d met Ben. That was all he felt comfortable to share.
Throw in the fact that he didn’t want her to know about his family’s business, and that didn’t leave much for him to share. He wanted nothing more than to be able to tell Jamie about the decision he faced and get her thoughts on what he should do.
But he found he was terrified that she would send him off to New York to do the right thing, while she stayed in Boston. It would be the end of them, and he didn’t think he could take it.
“Let’s just say, I like my privacy and the distance between me and the obligations they’ve created for me.”
“I hear you. I didn’t want to be in Virginia because I didn’t want my dad in my business, but now I wish I was closer so I could be there for his appointments.”
They’d called her father that morning and he sounded better. The call was cut short, as always, when her father insisted they had to have better things to do in paradise than fuss over him.
The few minutes each day were enough to keep Jamie from worrying, and it was fun to annoy his father-in-law.
“You could always move back to Virginia. You have a lot of experience. Anyone would hire you.” If she was willing to move, maybe she’d consider New York.
“I thought about it, but . . .” She bit her bottom lip.
“But?” Some part of him wished the reason she stayed in Boston was because of him. They made such a great team.
“I really want to make it to the top team of Blain and Douglas. I’ve invested so much into getting there, I want to see it through. And what if I go somewhere else and get put with some lame partner who doesn’t bring it to the table? I would be stuck. Or worse, what if the other company doesn’t have partners, and I would be on my own with no one to bounce the engineering piece off of? Do you know how invaluable it is to be able to ask you about the load on a wall without even picking up my phone?”
He smiled. Everything she’d just described told him what he’d wanted to hear. She was in Boston because he was in Boston. Oddly enough, he was still in Boston because she was there too. While he didn’t necessarily want to work at his family’s company, he could have opened his own firm or moved on by now.
“I feel the same way,” he told her, stealing a glance at her.
“Well, of course. Who would walk away from this?” Jamie joked. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t want to walk away.
He was so busy thinking about how he could keep what they had, he hadn’t been paying attention to their footing. Not until Jamie slipped on a damp rock and lost her balance.
Instinctively he reached for her and pulled her to him, using his body to absorb the impact. Fortunately they fell on a sandy patch that was void of other rocks. Their weight still managed to knock the wind from him for a few seconds.
Jamie sat up, and once he was breathing okay he sat up too. Their hips were next to each other as they faced the opposite direction.
“Are you okay?” he asked, taking her hand to check her palms for scratches.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry I smashed you.”
“I didn’t mind.” He didn’t mind at all. Having her body up against his was one of his new favorite things.
He looked at her face and noticed her eyes moving as she searched his face for something.
“What?” Did he have something on his face?
Her only answer was to lean closer. A completely different instinct took over and he leaned in to meet her. When their lips touched, he let out a groan he’d been holding in for days.
She moved onto his lap either on her own or because he pulled her there. He couldn’t be sure, and didn’t care. The important thing was, she was closer.
Her lips parted and he met her tongue with his own. They were completely in this together. There was no one here to force them to put on a show. This was them. And a whole lot of lust.
The sound of voices pulled them out of wherever they may have progressed. Jamie looked a little stunned to find herself on Wes’s lap in the middle of a trail. She swallowed and stood up.
He smiled at her hand as she thrust it out to help him up. He took it, for nothing else but to have another opportunity to touch her. She braced her legs and yanked him to his feet with more strength than he expected.
“Thanks,” he said. She’d turned away to catch up to the others in the excursion, and he knew they weren’t going to talk about what happened.
While he didn’t think that was healthy, he didn’t have any other option. Talking about it would force both of them to face feelings they wouldn’t be able to act on.
They were partners. They were friends.
These things were far too important to risk pushing for more. If they tried to be something else and failed, they would lose the most important relationship they had.
No matter how much he wanted to see if their connection could possibly become stronger if they became intimate, there was a chance it could blow up and they’d lose everything.
As if in silent agreement, she let her hand slip through his as they walked to the bus.
That kiss—as perfect and passionate as it was—drifted away with the mist of the waterfall.
Chapter 17
Anna smiled at the smile on her boss’s face as she walked into his office. He’d been on a conference call all morning and this was the first time she’d been able to speak to him. She was rather hoping they could have a replay of what had happened on his desk the other day, but unfortunately she was there to spoil that plan.
“Richard wants to speak to you,” she said.
“He’s here?”
“No. He asked if you could stop by his place. He’s not allowed in the office. Doctor’s orders.”
Ben frowned. “Do you think he wants to talk to me about what I think he wants to talk to me about?”
She laughed at his confusing question and nodded. “Definitely.” It was about time Ben was given the reins to the company. The man had been running everything since he was twenty-three without the title or the respect he deserved. At least now he’d be able to hire a proper staff to help him.
“Do you think I would be able to run the company?” he asked. She could tell from his expression he wasn’t hunting for a compliment; she could see the vulnerability there. He truly wanted to hear her opinion.
Since he was serious, she gave her answer the same import. Then she nodded. “You already run this company, Ben.”
He shook it off, but she stopped him.
“You may not sign all the contracts or sit at the head of the table during the board meetings, but you are running this company. You know the numbers. You know the clients. You interact with every employee and keep track of their progress. You make sure the number at the bottom of the P and L is black, and you make decisions that keep Archer Worldwide current and prosperous. If th
at’s not running a company, I don’t know what is.”
He nodded and moved on as if embarrassed by the recognition. “What time did you tell Richard I would be there?” he asked.
“Four. So you could go straight home after the meeting.”
He came to stand in front of her, his blue eyes watching her.
“Is there anything else?” she asked, realizing it was the question she’d asked before he kissed her the last time. Would he kiss her again? She felt her body sway in his direction, apparently making its own decision.
“We should talk about what happened,” he said, ruining her plans again.
“What happened?” Her voice squeaked.
“Remember the desk?” He pointed to the area where he’d taken her in a heated rush. She’d never felt so free and sexy. Even on stage she played a part, but with Ben she was just herself.
The fact that he’d lost control when she was just plain Anna had made it all the more surreal. Men preferred her as Bellz. The rocker in the sexy clothes always got more attention than the mousy assistant who wore too much brown. But Ben had wanted her.
And he’d taken everything she offered.
“Of course I remember the desk. Who could forget having sex with their boss while they were working? You realize you were paying me at the time, right?” That felt a little dirty. She smiled at the thought.
“I hadn’t even thought of that. I’m sorry. I hope you don’t think I think of you as a . . .”
She frowned and he took a step back, turning serious.
“No. I know that.” She watched as he looked everywhere but in her eyes. “Is this the part where you tell me we shouldn’t be together because I work for you?”
“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to say?”
“I don’t know. Should I be the one to say it? Generally speaking, it usually turns out to be a bad idea for the subordinate. While the boss just goes on about his life.”
“I could argue that generalizing is usually a bad idea as well.”
The Work Wife Page 20