by Lora Lindy
Ann wished she had never said a word. She knew he would gripe about the price of gas for the next fifty miles. “Now Harry you can’t fuss, it has been .36 cents for almost a year.” She always knew the price of gas because he never let her forget.
He thought about what Ann said, then took a deep breath. “You’re right honey, and I think it has been that price for a while. But it won’t stay at that price if we don’t get Nixon out of office. Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll resign.”
Ann couldn’t win for losing, if it’s not the gas prices its politics. “Now Harry, you know I don’t like you to talk bad about our president in front of the kids. I want them to grow up and make their own choices,” said Ann as she squeezed her husband’s hand. She always knew what to say to calm him down and try to get him off the subject.
“They can make any decision they want as long as they don’t vote for Nixon,” he said as his face turned red. His face always turned red when he talked about politics. “Since we’re on the subject, I’ve wanted to ask you a question. Is your hometown Spiro named after our vice president Spiro Agnew?”
“No, he’s from Maryland, but his name did put Spiro on the map. People always ask me that same question, and I think Spiro is now as famous as New York City, all because of our vice president.”
Out of nowhere their conversation was interrupted. “You touched me. Mom, Tommy is touching me,” said Gerty annoyed. It happened every time they went anywhere.
“Tommy, please don’t touch your sister,” answered Ann. On one of these trips she planned to tie Tommy to the suitcase rack on the top of the car. Her last nerve couldn’t take anymore.
“I’m not touching her, I’m just getting really close to her face,” Tommy said as he giggled. Tommy and Gerty were identical in looks. The only difference was his hair was curly and never combed, and it always looked windblown. Both got Ann’s dark skin and brown eyes, and Harry was thankful they didn’t get his white skin. The kids could play hours in the sun and get bronzed. If he spent five minutes in the sun without protection, he turned the color of a beet.
Gerty hated her seven year old brother. She couldn’t wait to be alone with her granny for a week. A whole week! A week without this monster! She couldn’t wait to get rid of her bratty brother. One day she planned on knocking the snot out of him. “Mom, his finger is almost picking my nose. Leave me alone you little brat. If dad hit’s a big bump your finger will go up my nose and into my brain.”
“What brain?” Tommy giggled not moving one inch.
“I can’t wait to get away, I wish I could stay two weeks with Granny,” chimed in Gerty as she put her finger up to her brother’s face. She wanted to show him what it felt like, to have a finger nearly picking his nose.
“I wish you would stay forever then I can be the only child,” said Tommy while making clown faces at his sister.
“You’re disgusting,” said Gerty.
Without any forewarning Tommy took Gerty’s finger and stuck it up his nose, giggling the whole time.
“Oh my God, I’ve got cooties. You are the most despicable person on the face of the earth. You are a paramoeba,” said Gerty as she tried to wipe the boogers off her finger. If mom and dad weren’t in the car she would have clobbered him.
“Well, you’re a ��� you’re a���.. a monkey face,” Tommy screamed at her. His mind went blank, but at least he tried to make fun of her. “It’s sad you have no friends and you have to look words up in the dictionary.”
“It’s sad you’re so dumb,” said Gerty as she held her hand out the window to blow off the boogers.
Finally, Harry had enough. “Both of you stop fighting, and don’t make me pull over this car. You know what happens when I pull over this car.”
Tommy laughed. “You’ll sick mom on us.”
Everyone laughed.