by J. C. Reed
“Leave.”
“Yeah. Leave my parents’ home.”
“Just like me,” he said softly.
“Yeah.” I looked at him bitterly, ignoring the sudden feeling that he was trying to see inside me. The inner me. The part that was too ugly to ever be exposed. If only he knew why I had to leave. Why my life at home had ended for good. Why I had been in shambles for many years, unable to mend what was left of my past. “The moment I turned eighteen, it was like my path had been written in stone for me. No going back, now or ever.”
He cocked his head to the side, his gaze intense again. “A relationship gone bad?”
It was a simple question, and yet I couldn’t stop the shudder running down my spine. Shaking my head, I took a deep breath as I tried to push the dark thoughts to the back of my mind before they grabbed hold of me, keeping me hostage in their clutches. “It wasn’t because of a guy. I have never been much the dating kind, you know.”
What drove me away hadn’t been a lover. No relationship or unrequited love. It had been much deeper than that. Much closer to my heart, and consequently much more painful. Dangerous. Precarious. Every step of my path had been carefully planned—the results of endless weighing up sides and taking no risks.
“What made you leave?” I asked.
“The same as you,” Chase said. “I knew there was a world out there. I had glimpsed it through the windows of my parents’ tour bus, and I wanted a piece of it. I felt a need to do something unexpected and maybe even find my own place in life along the way.”
“So, no dirty secret?” I teased.
“I’m afraid not,” he said seriously.
“You wanted to find yourself, then.”
“And define myself.” He nodded, deep in thought. “My parents never taught me who I was. It was life that showed me that. It helped me find what I needed.”
For the second time something passed between us. I could feel it in the air. Hear it in the soft chirping of insects. Smell it in the breeze carrying the scent of ripe oranges and something else. Chase. His cologne intermingled with the warmth emanating from him.
I gulped down a mouthful of oxygen, and suddenly the air was too thick, choking me, bringing me to a point where my head felt dizzy and the cave of my mouth was too parched to speak.
“I’ve got to go,” I croaked, and had risen to my feet when my feet gave away beneath me. My fingers wrapped around the back of the chair for support, but Chase was faster. One arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me against him, making the dizzy spell worse.
“Whoa. Sit down.” His deep voice sent a pulsating shiver through me as he moved the chairs and the table away from the sun and then helped me back into my seat. “It’s the damn heat. It would knock everyone down.”
“I’m okay,” I whispered, and even managed a half-smile, which was meant to infuse enough confidence in him that he’d let me go, even though every part of my body longed to be touched. Away from the merciless sun, I started to feel better.
“Can I get you some cold water?” Chase asked, brushing my hair away from my sweat-covered face. I grimaced, realizing it probably wasn’t a pretty sight.
“No. I’ll be fine. But thanks.”
“You sure?” He sounded doubtful. His brows drew together as he lifted my chin to meet his worried gaze.
“Did you actually eat anything today?”
I shook my head, barely able to breathe with him so close. Our lips were inches away—a distance easily closed in a heartbeat. My pulse picked up in speed as I fought the urge to press my mouth against his just to see whether he tasted as good as he smelled.
“I’ll make you something.”
Before I could protest, Chase’s hand had released me, and I found myself sitting in the chair, staring after him as he entered the house, leaving the door ajar. That was when I realized he hadn’t invited me in.
I didn’t mean to be prying, but, for some unknown reason, I felt a strong need to discover more about him, about the way he lived, who he was. Craning my neck, I scanned the narrow hall. Apart from two framed pictures on the walls and a rain jacket hanging from a hook, it was empty.
I shielded my eyes against the sun to get a better glimpse of the pictures and realized one of them was of a gate leading up to a beautiful backyard. The rich green foliage and flowers in various colors built a strong contrast to the thin fog that gave the entire setting a haunted allure. The second picture showed a man standing near a sea and holding a big fish from a hook, his facial expression reflecting his pride.
At the sound of approaching footsteps, I turned my head, my eyes focused on the blooming orange trees.
From the corner of my eye, I watched him put down a large bamboo plate with fresh bread and cheese, red grapes, and freshly sliced watermelon. To my dismay, he pulled his chair to mine and sat down so close our thighs touched. I regarded him as he began to pile cheese on a thin slice of bread, silently urging me to take a bite.
The air around us thickened again with tension and anticipation. This kind of closeness was exactly what I had tried to avoid. Away from civilization, his gesture, coupled with sitting so close to him and sharing the same plate, felt awfully intimate, and even more so when he watched me take a bite. Aware of his intense gaze, my throat constricted, and I forced myself to swallow slowly so I wouldn’t choke.
I shifted in my seat, prying my leg off his in the process. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he took a bite of his bread and popped a grape into his mouth, signaling me to do the same. I held up my hand and shook my head, smiling weakly as I tried hard to control my breathing. My stomach growled. I knew it was hunger, and something else.
Longing.
Deep-rooted desire.
God, did he have to be so stunning? So sinfully sexy it physically hurt me in places I didn’t want to acknowledge.
“You need to eat, Laurie.”
If only I could.
I lifted a slice of watermelon to my mouth and gingerly took a bite. A few drops of sweet juice gathered on my lips and traveled down my chin. I turned to look at Chase and realized he was staring at me, his eyes dark and hooded. Ever so slowly, his thumb brushed the moisture off my chin, touching my lips in the process.
My breath hitched in my throat. My lips parted, begging him to stop being so nice—so sexy—and just taste them. My body pleaded with him to make a move and kiss me, touch me, and draw me to him so I could finally find out if his lips were as soft as they looked.
“This has to stop,” I said, and looked away, regretting my words almost instantly.
Silence ensued.
The seconds seemed to stretch on forever. Eventually, I turned my head back to him and realized he was regarding me, amused.
“There’s a reason why I wanted to see you today, Chase.” I cringed at the way I pronounced his name—too breathy, too intimate. I had made a promise never to speak it out loud in his presence because he was getting into my head. To my utter humiliation, I realized I hadn’t been able to stay resolute for longer than a few minutes. Or maybe it was the effect of the wine, and I wasn’t to blame.
Anyway, this came out all wrong. It made me look desperate. And I wasn’t that desperate—yet. I tried to force air into my lungs, but my breathing came out all hard and heavy.
“Are you okay?” Chase asked, all fake innocence and concern.
I nodded but didn’t dare look at him, afraid of what he might see in my face. Afraid that my inability to control my body’s reactions around him would give me away, and he’d realize just how turned on I was by him.
“We need to establish a few rules in our arrangement to stop this from turning into something that can’t ever happen,” I whispered, finally plucking up the courage to look at him.
He raised his eyebrows as he cocked his head. “What rules?” He sounded so genuine that he almost had me fooled, were it not for the glint in his eyes.
“Good that you’re asking. I’ve made a list.” I pu
lled out a crumpled sheet of paper from my handbag and handed it to him. I peered over his shoulder as his eyes scanned my handwriting, and almost cringed at my choice of words.
No kissing…
No touching…
No invitations to secluded places after midnight, and that involves bedrooms.
“I sound like a deranged lunatic, don’t I?” I whispered, my face red with shame.
“It’s fine.” He folded the paper and handed it back to me. “If that’s what you want, I’m okay with it.” His gaze scanned my flaming cheeks for a moment. “I’m not like other men. I don’t want to do anything that could hurt you, Laurie.”
My heart skipped a beat as I realized that he thought my reluctance to play along stemmed from a broken heart and disappointed relationships.
“That’s not it,” I murmured. “I just want nothing to interfere with the job.” Even in my own ears, my voice sounded unconvinced. Shaking. Tumultuous.
For a few long moments, we just stared at each other in silence, the air between us thick like winter’s fog. I knew if I dared walk in, I might get lost forever.
A hot wind blew a strand of hair into my face, and I brushed it away. My stomach gave another loud rumble. I took a few bites of food before Chase returned with a glass of water.
“This tastes really good.” I pointed to the plate on the table and took the glass from his outstretched hand.
“Did you get a chance to compile the list I asked for so that I know what to answer if people ask questions?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I’ll email it to you tomorrow.”
“Good.” He inclined his head toward the food, again urging me to eat. I followed his silent command, and slowly the air between us cleared and we returned to safer terrain, the conversation flowing easily.
“While my stepfather’s in town, I’ll need you for a few days. A week tops,” I explained. “He’ll want to know everything about you. I say we keep to the truth, just bending a few details here and there for the sake of not getting confused.” Chase nodded, and I continued. “We don’t live together because you travel a lot and need your space. Besides, we don’t believe in sex before marriage.”
He raised his brows at that, and I stifled a giggle. Obviously, he wasn’t on board with that one.
“My family has always been old-fashioned,” I explained, even though that didn’t exactly apply to the way my stepfather lived his life. “No need to face them with the realities of life.”
“Agreed.” His lips curled into a stunning, sexy smile that sent my pulse racing faster than a racehorse sprinting. “When are we going to do the deed?”
Holy shit.
Talk about double meanings!
The image of him on top of me entered my head, his strong arms pinning me down, our bodies moving in accord while wave after amazing wave of ecstasy rocked my abdomen. The mere image had me so worked up I gasped, suddenly unable to breathe. As if sensing my naughty imagination, Chase’s gaze settled on me with an intense expression, and all heat drained from my face.
“What?” His mouth twitched at my shocked reaction. “I need to know in case they ask.”
“Obviously, never, because we’re not getting married.” I smirked. “And they won’t ask because sex isn’t something we usually discuss. They’re old-fashioned when it comes to me. You know, no public displays of affection and all that. Sleeping in separate rooms. The usual.” I waved my hand.
“Got it.” He nodded again. Underneath his tone I could detect amusement. He was laughing at me, and I couldn’t blame him. “Where did we meet?”
That was a tough one. Where do you usually meet a stunning male actor when your family expects you to be a nun with no social life, no interest in the opposite sex, and definitely no flirting skills? Worse yet, how do you keep a handsome guy hooked for months with absolutely no sexual rewards? The entire plan was more ridiculous than I’d previously thought.
“You’re a friend of Jude’s, and she introduced us when you helped us move two years ago. We got talking over carrying boxes and realized we had a lot in common.”
“Sounds like a love story you’d tell your grandchildren when you’re old.”
Was he mocking me? I kicked his leg playfully under the table, and he burst out laughing. Yes, definitely mocking me.
“You have a better story?” I challenged.
He shrugged, playing for time. “You could say I brought your pizza, and you liked the stuffed crust so much you had to reorder. That’s when you realized beneath the delivery uniform hid the man of your dreams.” His eyes twinkled.
“That’s the lamest story I’ve ever heard. I doubt anyone would believe it.”
“Why?” He threw his hands up in mock exasperation while regarding me intently. “You don’t believe you could find a diamond beneath a layer of sawdust?”
Was that a trick question?
“Maybe,” I said, unsure where he was heading.
“Because I do. As hard as it might be for you to believe, I do.” His voice dropped to a mere whisper. “I believe there’s more to us than meets the eye, and if we’re willing to take a second look, past first impressions, then we might just find a sparkle we were too blind to see before.”
Why did I get the feeling he was talking about us? I stared at him, my heart beating against my chest so hard I almost feared it’d burst. His eyes turned all broody and intense again, regarding me with a depth of tenderness I had never seen before.
The kind of tenderness that could bloom into love.
I moistened my lips and turned away uncomfortably, seeking escape, if only for a few moments. When I turned back to him, he just smiled, the strange expression from earlier gone.
“Of course, the risk with second looks is that you might not like what you see at all, so….” He shrugged and trailed off, leaving the rest unspoken. In the silence, I watched him pop a grape into his mouth before I replied.
“Except I don’t believe in second looks,” I whispered. I wasn’t even sure what came over me to challenge him.
“You don’t?” He looked up, surprised. A stubborn line appeared on his otherwise smooth forehead. “I gather you’re the first-impressions kind, then. No second chances.”
I shook my head, unsure whether I was confirming his statement, or denying it. All my life I had been taught to remain unwavering and cold, never to cave in out of fear that if I let people get too close to me, the outcome might be ugly. People made mistakes that could rarely be rectified. They would always linger like a persistent stain that might fade over time, but would always be there.
“No second chances,” I said, more to myself than to Chase.
“Are you serious?” he asked.
“I am. People don’t change. If they make a mistake once, they’ll repeat it, maybe even over and over again.” I watched him lean back with a strange expression on his face—part puzzle, part curiosity. For once I wished I could just ask him to share his thoughts.
“I should leave.” I grabbed my handbag and stood.
“Sure. Let me close up.” No hesitation. No trying to change my mind. I was disappointed because, for some reason, I had hoped he’d try to keep me a little longer.
On our way home, we remained silent. Granted, my first impression of him hadn’t been a good one, but by the end of the evening, my opinion had shifted. Only, I didn’t want him to know. Not with all those tense moments between us and no clue as to what attracted me to him to such an extent. There had to be something else other than his appearance because, even though I had always been attracted to dark hair and pale eyes, my reaction to those had usually been more demure and less driven by my libido. He had stirred something deep inside me. I could only guess it was a need to be fulfilled.
However, there was something else, too. A longing to look at him when he wouldn’t notice. A wish to get to know him—the real him—without being too apparent.
Chase pulled over on the other side of the road and killed the en
gine. I brushed a hand through my hair as I tried to fight the annoying part of me that wanted to stay just a little bit longer.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, and was reaching for the door when his fingers curled around my arm gently, but with enough force to stop me.
“Laurie?” His voice indicated our conversation wasn’t over. “Under different circumstances, I would ask you out on a date.”
My heart did a somersault.
“The circumstances are as they are. It’s just a job, and then we’re done.” My tone was supposed to be sharp, determined. Instead, all I managed was a croak filled with regret.
His eyes narrowed, sparkling with smoldering heat and the kind of determination I seemingly lacked.
“Then let me make you feel what could be between us, and you’ll change your mind,” Chase whispered, and let go of my arm.
Without so much as a glance back, I stumbled out of the car, back to my home, away from him and the one thing I shouldn’t be feeling: attraction.
Chapter 6
What the hell was that all about?
I kept musing over Chase’s words through the rest of the evening. And now I was still musing as I waited for Jude to finally emerge from her bedroom-based office once she finished typing up a new post for her blog.
“Okay, what’s wrong? What did the jerk do beside take you home way too early?” Jude asked, plopping down on the sofa and almost landing in my lap. I moved aside to make room for her and regarded her, confused.
“Jerk?” I asked. “What are you talking about?” A glance at my watch showed it was just after 8 p.m. “It’s hardly early.”
She rolled her blue eyes. “Well, obviously, you’re very much confused and, judging from the glint in your eyes, very much horny, so I figured he probably got you all hot, and dropped you like a hot saucepan.”
My jaw dropped. “Classy,” I muttered. “I love your metaphors, although I’ll have to admit that comparing me with a saucepan is a first. But no, I asked him to bring me home. That’s it.”
“Why would you do that?” Now it was her turn for her jaw to drop in shock, as if I had done something horrible. Finally, her lips curved into a lazy smile as comprehension kicked in.