by Maisey Yates
As suddenly as she’d started the kiss, she pulled away. And he let her go, watching her. Her eyes were wide, her lips swollen, cheeks flushed, her breasts rising and falling harshly with each breath.
She pushed a hand through her thoroughly mussed hair. “I had to…I had to see,” she said, her voice shaky.
“You had to see?” he asked, his own voice roughened by arousal.
“I thought it couldn’t possibly be as good as I imagined. It never is, you know.”
“And?”
She cursed and turned away from him.
“That good?” he asked.
She turned back to face him. “I can’t,” she said simply. “It’s unprofessional.”
“We passed unprofessional a while ago, I think.”
“Yes, okay, we did. But continuing would be…more unprofessional.”
She stood back and looked at him, her eyes hard, as if she was waiting for something. Waiting for him to grab her, or…he didn’t know what else. He knew it went with the wariness he saw in her eyes sometimes. Knew he didn’t want to take it on. He couldn’t be anyone’s knight in shining armor. Didn’t want to be.
“All right, Madeline, if you don’t want to, that’s your decision. I don’t coerce women into bed. I don’t have to. But I know you feel the attraction. You’ve proved it. And as far as professional goes, the line has been crossed with or without actual sex.”
She shook her head, dark curls bouncing with the motion. “Office stuff is complicated. I have too much tied up in this job.” Her eyes narrowed. “You aren’t going to fire me if I say no, are you?”
“I told you, I don’t do coercion, and that encompasses asking someone to prostitute herself for a job. I can be ruthless in matters of business, but I do not abuse people.”
Madeline swallowed, but her throat remained dry. She’d just made the second biggest mistake of her life. Okay, possibly third biggest, but it was still big. She never should have kissed him. Ever.
But fantasy never lived up to reality and she’d been so desperate to purge the desire for Aleksei from her system, to do something to get the reckless ache to desert her. She’d been sick with jealousy watching that woman caress his arm and whisper in his ear. It wasn’t emotional jealousy, it was basic, physical jealousy. She didn’t want another woman to have what she was so set on denying herself.
And with that desire came guilt that was nearly crippling. Guilt because she wanted a man, for the first time in five years. Guilt because she couldn’t repress her sexuality anymore. Guilt because she still wanted sex when she’d been so convinced she could let that part of herself go. When she’d been so convinced that she should. Because how could she ever trust herself again?
And then she’d thought, as he was standing there looking so gorgeous it made her body hurt with desire, that she could prove it wouldn’t really be electric. She had limited experience with men, only one miserable lover to her credit, and the physical side of things had never been so incredible for her. It had been about emotions, not any kind of true desire.
But Aleksei’s kiss had sent a current through her body that had immobilized her with its strength. Had melted her with its heat. She’d meant to close the door on it. Had meant to remind her body that all that physical stuff wasn’t everything it was made out to be.
Except it had been more. More than she’d imagined and more than it had ever been for her.
Counterproductive.
“I’m sure you don’t.” She believed him. Believed that he didn’t get his kicks out of abusing his power. He hadn’t tried to talk her into it. Hadn’t said how beautiful she was. Hadn’t said he loved her.
He hadn’t lied. And she had kissed him. And lightning hadn’t struck her dead on the spot. There was no scarlet letter out in the snow.
That was all very good to know.
“I just can’t…” It was too easy to remember what had happened last time. And it was her boss again, for heaven’s sake. Although, if there was a similarity between Aleksei and William she couldn’t think of it.
“It’s not a good idea,” she finished.
“It’s not,” he agreed.
She folded her arms under her breasts, because she was cold. Because she needed a shield. She put her head down and walked past him, heading to the door.
When he spoke again, his voice was soft, but commanding. “It’s not a good idea. But I want you. If you want this to happen, you have to come to me now, Madeline. I’m not playing games, and I don’t chase after women.”
She didn’t turn. “I won’t change my mind. I can’t.”
It crushed part of her to say that. To be such a coward. Because there was common sense involved, yes, but most of it was just fear. And she hated that she was the sort of person who let fear have a hand in her life.
But it was too strong, too real, for her to fight.
He moved so that he was behind her, pushed the door open and held it for her. “And that is your decision. It remains your decision.” He didn’t believe her. Of course he didn’t. She didn’t believe herself. “Can I escort you back to the ballroom?”
She nodded stiffly. The best thing to do would be to pretend nothing had happened.
That she’d never felt his tongue slide against hers. Never been held in his strong arms.
She could do it. She could go back to the way things had been. She wasn’t weak. At least, she wouldn’t be anymore.
“Hello, Madeline.” Aleksei’s smooth voice was more torturous now than it had ever been. Now that she’d tasted his lips. Felt his hands, rough and insistent on her. Rough and insistent in a good way. In the way that made a woman feel want at the exclusion of everything else.
“Hello,” she responded, her voice coming out short and crisp.
“How is everything shaping up for the exhibition in Luxembourg?”
She leaned back in her chair and arched her back, stretching out her knotted muscles. “Great. Better than great. We have use of the entire castle, which means on the invites I’m going to have guests check whether or not they would like the use of a room in the castle for the night, and to join us for a gourmet breakfast the next morning.”
“Extravagant.”
“You can afford it,” she said.
“Of course.”
It was the perfect venue as far as she was concerned. It was turning into the largest event for this collection, and she was very happy with it. The guest list included some of the world’s wealthiest and most influential people, and the setting was designed to impress.
“I’d also like to display some pieces from your past collections if there are originals still available.”
“Some, although most have been sold at auction.”
“Whatever we can get our hands on. Since we have use of the whole space, I want to use the whole space.”
She could do this. It was easy to talk work with Aleksei. They meshed there. They connected. On this one plane of existence they connected. And it was really the only way they needed to connect.
Yes, it was. No need to connect in any other way. Not at the lips or…anywhere else.
She grimaced and leaned forward, picking up a pen so she could take notes or something. Anything to keep her mind fully occupied so that it didn’t go off on tangents about connecting to Aleksei.
It was better with hundreds of miles between them. Better with the barrier of the phone. She wished, she wished so much, that they had never broken that barrier. It would all be simpler. She wouldn’t be having sleepless nights dreaming about his touch, wouldn’t get hot every time his name was mentioned in conversation.
“I’m stopping by later today,” he said. “We can discuss it further then.”
She stood up. “What?” He never came to the Milan office. Well, not in the two months since she’d been there, which didn’t really equate to never. But he certainly didn’t come often. He’d been in Moscow and she’d been perfectly happy with him there.
“You’re l
ooking forward to it, I can tell,” he said drily.
“Sorry.” She shook her head and cursed herself inwardly. She would kill for a little sexual sophistication right about now. Sadly, she wasn’t going to get it in the next hour.
Though she was getting to the point where she was really thinking it was time. She’d allowed herself to be tied up in the horror from five years ago for a long time. Too long. Longer than her former boss, certainly. Likely longer than her former boss’s ex-wife. The media didn’t even care anymore, hadn’t for a long time.
But her name had been synonymous with slut for a good two months. Her brother had done his absolute best to protect her. His misguided best since she’d sworn to him that nothing had happened. A huge weight she carried still.
It was easy to make excuses. For all of it. For lying to Gage—she was embarrassed, humiliated, and, no, of course she hadn’t known her boss was married. For any of it happening in the first place—William had said he loved her. But the fact was, there wasn’t an excuse. She’d been stupid, she’d been naive and she’d allowed herself to be manipulated.
An affection-starved young woman, barely a woman, who had lapped up every compliment, every ounce of affection her boss had sent her way.
But she was still letting that man manipulate her, and it was a fair bet he couldn’t even remember her name. He had likely replaced her, and the wife he’d lost over the affair he’d had with her, ten times over by now.
And she was still stuck. Still wallowing in all the pain and regret of the past. All that moving on and up nonsense was just that. It was a lie. To herself and to everyone else.
Being with Aleksei, sleeping with him, might not be a good idea. But her decision about it shouldn’t hinge on things in the past. It should just hinge on the fact that a workplace dalliance wasn’t really the brightest move of all time.
“I’ll…I’ll see you soon then,” she said.
She hung the phone up and sat back down. Her heart was pounding hard, her hands shaking. And this time, it wasn’t all Aleksei’s doing.
She’d had a breakthrough. In ten minutes. She hadn’t put her relationship with William behind her. She hadn’t moved on. She was letting him control her life, even now.
And it was ending today.
CHAPTER SIX
OF COURSE, Aleksei hadn’t simply stopped by. He’d stayed the entire day. And of course, the reason for his visit had been the next exhibition.
Which meant she was involved. In every aspect of his visit. The large staff meeting, the smaller staff meeting, and now she was cloistered in his office after-hours with him, and they were hashing out details between the two of them.
Usually, Aleksei left her job to her. Of course, the exhibitions she’d planned in North America had been less crucial. But this exhibition, this collection was personal to him, for obvious reasons, and he was right in the middle of everything, putting in his own thoughts, changing things around and generally disturbing her.
“So what do we want to do with the necklace?” she asked.
The necklace being the secret piece of Aleksei’s new collection. An emerald, diamond and platinum creation that, just in materials, was worth half a million dollars. With Aleksei as the designer, the creator of the piece, it was worth much more. And he had been holding it back for this portion of the tour.
The buzz about the exhibition was already electric.
“I think it should be there when the guests arrive. I want it to be the centerpiece of the show, in the middle of things, but secure.”
“Well, we can put alarms around it without obstructing the view of the display case. And of course we’ll have security guards. Everywhere.” She leaned back in the office chair and stretched her neck. “And then, when the actual event is over, and the guests that are staying in the rooms overnight retire, we’ll take the jewels away in the armored cars.”
They’d never had a theft attempt, but Aleksei believed in being vigilant. Which was probably why there had never been a theft attempt.
“That all sounds good,” he said, standing from his desk and rounding it, coming to stand in front of her.
At five foot three, she wasn’t tall, not by any stretch of the imagination, which was why she always gave herself a boost with high heels. But Aleksei was easily a foot taller. And so broad and masculine. He made her feel small, petite. Feminine. The strangest thing was that she sort of liked it.
She blinked, trying to refocus her mind.
She bent down to get her purse before standing. The motion brought her a little closer to him than she’d anticipated. It suddenly felt much hotter in the room.
He was looking at her, dark eyes trained on her face, then dipping to her lips. The tension was thick, physical, like a wire that had been stretched between them had been tightened. Tightened to the point where she felt sure it would break.
Breathing was nearly impossible. “Anything else?” she asked. She needed to escape. Now. Badly.
But she also wanted to stay. Wanted to find out what would happen if things kept going. She wanted to see what it would take to make the wire snap.
“Only this.” He leaned, dipping his head slightly, and brushed her lips with his. She forgot to breathe.
His lips were warm, firm, everything she remembered and so much that she’d forgotten. It was a short kiss, but it made her want more. So much more. Made her want to cry over the frustrating need that was pounding through her. It was as though there was a bottomless pit of need and desire in her, and she’d never known about it until now. Had never known it existed until Aleksei unearthed it.
She wobbled slightly when trying to step away from him, needing distance.
“I thought you were going to wait until I came to you,” she said, not summoning up as much accusation in her voice as she’d have liked.
“I was,” he said, dark humor lacing his voice, his accent seeming heavier. “But it was only a kiss.”
How was something only anything when it had the power to tilt your world off its axis?
He was so tempting. But her resolution to let go of the past didn’t mean she was going to jump into bed with her boss. Especially when she’d already tried that tired old cliché five years ago.
This had Bad Idea written all over it. It had taken her years, professionally and otherwise, to get back to normal after her last disastrous relationship with a man. She hadn’t been able to get a job for nearly a year, because the scandal had been related to her work. No one wanted to bring her into the company.
Ultimately, she’d ended up getting a job at a catering company, serving food from a line. No one had cared there. Or maybe they hadn’t known. Her boss’s wife at the time, the wife she’d been ignorant of, was a semi-famous men’s catalog model and B-movie actress. That was one reason her unintended affair had been headline news.
It had been hard to start at the bottom, especially after she’d graduated with such high honors, achieved a coveted, but ill-fated, internship. But at least at the bottom, in a new industry, away from the corporate setting, she’d been free from the ugliness.
But if she started a relationship with Aleksei…too stupid. It would be too stupid.
“Well, don’t kiss me again. We’re shooting for professional here, and that isn’t it.”
“Is it because I’m your boss, Madeline? Is that why you don’t want this?”
“Partly,” she said.
“And the other part?”
“Not your business, because you’re my boss and not my lover.”
“I’m not opposed to becoming your lover.”
She looked at a spot on the wall behind him. She couldn’t handle looking at him, not when he was offering her something she was fighting against wanting so desperately. Not when she knew one look in those midnight eyes would undo her completely.
“I know,” she said. “But I work for you. That gives you… The power balance isn’t fair. There’s no way…I would be at a total disadvantage.”
> “That isn’t how I operate. If we were to have an affair—” she cringed at his use of the word “—then I would be your boss during business hours, and your lover when we weren’t at the office. As your lover, I wouldn’t be your boss.”
“And as my boss you wouldn’t be my lover?”
“I already told you, I don’t mix business with pleasure.”
“I think I said that. And I also think it might mean something different than colleagues at work, lovers off work.”
He shrugged. That he could even make such a casual gesture when she was ready to melt was infuriating. “If it were about a relationship, then, yes, I can see how it would be problematic to separate the two. But I’m not looking for a relationship.”
“So, you just want…sex?”
He flexed the fingers on his left hand. “Exactly. I don’t do relationships.”
Most women would have been upset by that, and she realized that. Even understood why. She’d been one of those women. One who thought sex and love had to go together. Well, she’d been an idiot then.
Now she was relieved. He hadn’t lied. He hadn’t said he wanted to be with her because she was special. He hadn’t said he loved her. He’d said he wanted sex. It was honest, at least.
Those other words…those were lies. Lies men told to make women feel comfortable. To make them feel indebted to them. Oh, you love me so I owe you my body.
What a sick joke that was.
“Well, I don’t do the relationship thing either,” she said, confident in that, if nothing else.
“So we’re on the same page.”
She laughed, a little hysterical bubble of sound escaping her lips. “I’ll bet it’s nearly impossible for the two of us to be on the same page.”
“You want me,” he said. Not a question.
“Yes.” There was no point in lying. None at all.
“I want you. Seems like we might be on the same page.”
His dark eyes were molten heat, intense, his expression hard and unmoving. He didn’t try to coddle her, caress her, seduce her. He didn’t add sweet words or a cajoling smile. He didn’t try to relax her. Didn’t offer her a drink to help calm her nerves.