by Maisey Yates
But how could Aleksei—or anyone else—ever respect her if she didn’t respect herself? She’d needed to stop letting people who were users dictate the way she saw herself. Dictate the way she saw the entire human race. And she had. She finally had.
It was a hollow victory now, though.
Of course, Aleksei had always respected her. He’d never condemned her for her mistakes. Even in the end he had told her not to accept so little. Not even from him.
It only made her love him more, which just didn’t seem fair.
He’d gone back to Moscow the day after. Which was normal. And it was what he’d said he would do. When he was finished in Milan, he wouldn’t stay. She’d known then what he’d meant. It was better that he’d done that, really. It made it all feel final. She needed it to feel final so that she could try to accept it and move on.
But, heaven help her, she didn’t want to. Loving Aleksei was the most liberating, empowering, terrifying thing she’d ever done. And she didn’t want to stop. A good thing, since she wasn’t certain she could.
She looked toward the edge of the ballroom and saw Aleksei stride in, looking so amazing in a tailored black suit that she ached with wanting him. He was still so exotic, and yet familiar too. In the very best way. Well, the worst way, really, since she couldn’t have him.
He hovered around the edge of the crowd, and she remembered how much he didn’t like these kinds of things. She wished she could go down there. Could go and take his hand, ease his tension.
He looked up to the balcony then, his dark eyes zeroing in on her with unerring accuracy. She couldn’t do anything but look back, longing and tension stretching between them, thick and obvious, even with so much distance. The physical distance and the emotional distance.
He stepped into the crowd and crossed the dance floor, his focus still on her. She couldn’t breathe. She wanted so much to see him again. Just to talk to him, to be near him, if nothing else. And yet she dreaded it too. Dreaded the kind of pain that would come with something like that.
She watched him walk up the curved marble staircase and make his way across the much less empty balcony. She could only stare as he got closer. She didn’t know whether to run from him or run to him. The temptation to do both was as intense as it was impossible.
She noticed the difference in his appearance as he drew nearer. He didn’t have a tie on. The collar of his shirt was open at his throat. His cheekbones were more prominent, and slight dark circles under his eyes were showing his weariness.
“Maddy.” He said so much in that one word, in her name, that it made her heart swell with emotion.
“Hi,” she said, hardly able to speak past the lump in her throat.
“Can I speak with you?”
She offered him a small smile. “You’re the boss, Mr. Petrov, since when did you start asking permission?”
“Since I realized how fallible my own decision-making was. Please, give me this time.”
“Always,” she whispered.
He moved to her, took her hand in between both of his and lifted it to his lips, kissing her fingers lightly. When he lowered his hands, she noticed a shiny patch of lighter colored skin.
“What did you do?” she asked, running her thumb over the mark.
“A burn. I was careless with some metal I was working with.”
“Aleksei,” she said, “you should be more careful.”
“I promise I will be.” He didn’t release his hold on her hand, but walked her to the open double doors that led to an outdoor balcony that overlooked the gardens.
There were fairylights wound around all of the greenery, casting a bright glow on their surroundings. It was late, and it was cold, so the other guests were inside. But Maddy didn’t care about the cold. There was nothing but heat when Aleksei was with her.
Aleksei turned so that he was facing the view, his hands gripping the edge of the railing, his burn turning white as he squeezed the stone. “I went back to Moscow to try and escape you. To try and escape my feelings. I am ashamed to admit this, but you were right. I was afraid. I was living in the past, but not quite in the way you think. I never thought of the rewards that love had given me, only the pain. I was afraid to remember the good things. And then there was you, Maddy. And I wanted you. You, not just sex with an anonymous stranger.”
She couldn’t breathe. Everything in her was wound too tight, her heart pounding too fast.
“And you made me feel,” he continued, his voice rough. “I hadn’t experienced emotion in so long I hardly recognized it. But I ran from it. I convinced myself I could not be the man for you so I could hide the fact that it was fear that was holding me back.”
He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a flat velvet box. “I didn’t know if I could be the man for you. But I decided I had to be. Because I can’t live without you, Maddy.”
He opened the box and Maddy’s heart stumbled. “What is this?” she whispered, brushing her fingers over the delicate jewels.
“This.” He touched the top of the necklace, by the clasp, the part that was made with intricately woven gold, fashioned into vines with pink gems that resembled small thistle blossoms, the part that looked familiar. “This is my past. I had stopped living, Maddy. I existed, but nothing more. I tricked myself into thinking I had moved on, because I had success, I had money. But it was an illusion.”
Maddy felt hot tears burn her eyes, and she let them fall. “What about the rest?” she asked, her voice choked.
The rest of the necklace was made with the same sort of woven gold, but the flowers, fashioned from different-colored gems, grew larger, more open, as they cascaded toward the center. There were emerald leaves, growing, flourishing.
“I had a vision for my life, Maddy, and when that vision changed I simply stopped moving. This…” Aleksei’s voice caught and Madeline felt as though her heart might burst. “This isn’t how I originally designed this necklace. It’s not how I planned my life to be. But it’s beautiful, and now…I could not wish it be any other way. My past will always be here.” He touched the original part of the necklace. “I will always have love for Paulina. But you have my heart, Maddy. You have reminded me of the beauty of love, have made me open again. You’ve made me feel. The love I have now…it’s endless. Limitless. It’s for you. For the family we will have. And it’s because of you. I truly understand now what it means to be one with someone. I feel as though you are a part of me. It is unlike anything I’ve ever known before. I can only hope I have not managed to kill the love you felt for me.”
She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She inhaled deeply. Aleksei. Her love.
“No, Aleksei. You haven’t killed my love for you. I don’t think that’s possible.”
His chest rose harshly against hers as he sucked in a breath. “Oh, Maddy, you have no idea how happy I am to hear that.”
“You are the man that stands before me because of this.” She touched the necklace. “I will never ask you to forget.”
“I know, Maddy. I can remember now. Remember and feel some happiness for what was, feel hope for what is to come.”
She pulled away from him and he set the velvet case on one of the tables that was set up on the balcony. He carefully lifted the necklace from its place in the box. “I love you, Maddy,” he said, holding the necklace up and gently looping the ends around her neck, clasping it deftly. “You are my future, my hope. I love you.”
She felt a tear spill down her cheek. Aleksei wiped it away. “Aleksei, you know my past, and you love me anyway. You’ve helped me to love me. And I know, with certainty, that you’re my future.”
He leaned in and kissed her, and Maddy returned it with all of the joy that was fizzing through her body.
When they separated, Aleksei cupped her chin, his dark eyes serious. “I’m so sorry, Maddy. I promised you honesty, always, and I didn’t give it to you. I lied to you. I t
old you I didn’t want you or your love, when even then I wanted both so desperately it destroyed me to send you away. But I had to become a man who was worthy of you. I had to let go—” he touched the center gem of the necklace “—to move on.”
“Aleks, you idiot. Don’t ever try to protect me by breaking my heart again,” she said through a watery laugh.
“It broke mine. I didn’t realize that was possible.” He bent and kissed her again softly, gently. “I love you, Maddy, more than I thought it was possible to love someone. You are essential to me. I feel as though a piece of myself was missing, and now I’m complete.”
“Wow, you don’t go halfway, do you?”
“Never.” He stroked her cheek. “Thank you for making my future more beautiful than I imagined possible.”
“I have to thank you for the same thing,” she said softly.
“So, you like the necklace?” he asked.
“Of course I do.”
“If you want it.” He reached into his pocket and produced another velvet box, this one smaller. “I have a matching piece.”
“Aleks…”
He opened it and revealed a ring with colorful gemstones encircling an emerald-cut diamond, tiny platinum vines carved into the band. “If you’ll marry me, then it was worth the burn that I got making it.”
“Yes,” she whispered as she held out her shaking hand. He slipped it onto her finger. A perfect fit, in every way.
“When I said future, I meant future. Every day of it. There are no guarantees in life, Maddy, but one thing I can promise is that you have my love.”
“Then I don’t need any other guarantees.”
EPILOGUE
“DO YOU know how happy it makes me to see you like this? With a smile on your face?”
Maddy looked up at her older brother and squeezed his arm. “Thank you, Gage. It means a lot to me that you came to give me away.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“You really took care of me when no one else would. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you how much that meant to me.”
Gage looked at her. “It was never a sacrifice, Maddy. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Maddy smiled and craned her neck to see if she could spot Aleksei down the hill. The wedding was being held outside of the castle in Luxembourg. And tonight they were having their honeymoon in that princess suite Maddy had been so fond of.
The trees had white and red paper lanterns in them, and each chair was draped in white chiffon, the covers tied on with red bows. It was all exquisitely beautiful, and perfect. The wedding of her dreams.
The setting didn’t really matter, though. The only thing that really mattered was the groom, and how much she loved him.
The first song ended and Maddy knew the “Wedding March” was about to begin. Butterflies swirled in her belly. Not nerves, just pure, unreserved excitement.
She smoothed the full skirt of her wedding gown and gripped her bouquet of red roses tightly.
“Ready?” Gage asked.
“More than,” Maddy said.
As she walked down the green hill and to the aisle, Aleksei came into view. He smiled when he saw her, his dark eyes glittering.
In Aleks’s eyes she saw her future. A life stretched before them filled with endless possibilities. A family. Children. Love. So much love that she couldn’t contain all of it inside of herself. It was her own fairytale, come to life and more brilliant than anything she could have ever dreamed up on her own.
They had conquered so much darkness, overcome so much to reach this moment. With all of that behind them, there was nothing that could defeat them. Not when they were bound together by so much love.
Aleksei shook Gage’s hand when they reached the head of the aisle. Then it was just her and Aleksei.
He took her hand and pressed his lips to her knuckles. “You’re beautiful,” he said.
And she believed him.
* * * * *
ISBN: 9781459220560
Copyright © 2011 by Maisey Yates
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