by K Larsen
“Thank you.” Angie mouths to me and it almost brings tears to my eyes.
That riff between her father and I felt like the last straw in a long series of disappointments. We disagreed about everything—we could never find common ground.
“I never could tell if it was just because Dad didn’t trust me or because he really believed I was too young.”
“A combination of both things, I think. Your father also harbored an unspoken belief that he could have a hand in choosing who you ended up with. You falling in love with Andrew extinguished his designs on marrying you off like a merger.”
“He likes Andrew now that you’re getting divorced.”
“That’s a good thing. I knew he would eventually come to his senses. Plus, you’re his little girl so, technically, no one was ever going to be good enough.”
I can’t move after the massage is over. My face is still smushed through the hole in the massage table, denting my cheeks.
“I want to take a nap here.”
“You can or we could go out to the hot tub.”
Angie and I make our way out to the detox baths. They are wood, panel-surrounded hot tubs with various amounts of salts and herbs in them. Angie picks the one called, “energize,” we drop our robes and climb in, wearing our bathing suits.
“Anyway, Mom, I feel like if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have Andrew. I’m so grateful for that.”
“Well, now we’re even, because if not for your diligence, I wouldn’t have reunited with Ty. So, I’m grateful to you, too, Honey, for knocking some sense into me.”
“Speaking of Titan, where are those two this morning?”
“On zip lines down the side of the mountain. I’d rather not have to watch, those things scare me to death.”
“Tell me about it. You don’t want to lose him before you even get him back again.”
Just then a hawk flies above us in the pale blue, fall sky. He squawks and then glides with a grace that is mesmerizing. He surveys the treetops, circling and riding the air weightlessly, without moving a muscle.
“Losing him once was enough. That’s part of the reason why I fought tooth and nail for your happiness with Andrew. I realize you’re young and I know, first hand, that it can be problematic. There’s a chance it still could be and you might even resent me later for being so lenient.”
“Never!” Angie says and puts her palms together in the steaming, dark water. She lifts her hands to her face and rubs the water on her cheeks and her forehead.
“There’s no way to be sure. But when I saw you with Andrew—I knew I would risk whatever it took to see you together. I agree that twenty-one is extremely young to get married, but after a loveless union with you father, I wanted a life full of love and true happiness for you.”
Leaning back into the soothing water, I submerge almost up to my neck. It smells of balsam fir and arnica, maybe some lemongrass.
“Dad said no to Andrew’s face when he came over to ask him.”
“This feeling of regret, of loss, my missed connection with Titan—I’ve felt it my whole life. Regret wasn’t something I was willing to watch you experience, if I could help it. I believe we know when it’s true love and it’s up to us to hold on tight. I made a mistake the night I met, Ty, Angie. One I’ve regretted my whole life.”
“But now you’ve got a second chance and Ty feels the same way.” Angie trails her fingertips through the water, making figure eights. Her face is flushed and her baby hairs are plastered to her head.
It’s not something I’m used to—finding happiness in another person. But now that it’s happening, I’m terrified of losing it, of it being taken away. I need ten more lifetimes to love Ty, to make up for what we’ve lost and to do it the right way.
It’s just past noon when Luke and I finish the zip line tour of the mountainside. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a smile so large plastered on his face before. He really loved it. There was something exhilarating about it. Whizzing through the air suspended by a harness and wire. The excitement built as we harnessed up and climbed to the “launching pad.” Then it was into the air, soaring like an eagle, with a tree-top view. It was adrenaline-pumping. The view of the foliage and lake were incredible. At one point, we were one hundred feet over the lake as we cruised the last section.
“That was insane!” Luke exclaims, removing his helmet and handing it to one of the staff.
“It was. The girls should have come. I think the view would have outweighed the scared-of-heights factor.”
“Ha, I don’t know, Angie seemed game but Jess was a little jumpy just talking about it,” he says and laughs. I remove my helmet and hand it off.
“So what are we doing now?”
“We’re meeting them at the restaurant for lunch, I think.”
“Right,” I confirm.
“You know,” Luke starts, as we head up the path back towards our cabin, “you’ve been really smiley today.”
“Is that weird?”
“Naw. It’s good. I saw you and Jess this morning down by the dock.” Luke slides his eyes at me then back to the path. He has a lopsided grin on his face.
“And?” I ask.
“You looked good together. Comfortable or whatever. I liked it.” He kicks a rock out of the way and looks at me.
“It was comfortable. I liked it, too, Buddy. Jess is special—not just because of who she is to me, but as a person, she’s one of those really solid, good people.”
“And pretty. She’s really pretty.” Sometimes I forget that he’s only fifteen and is ruled mostly by what’s between his legs, when it comes to the opposite sex.
“Yeah, yeah, that, too. But that’s not the important quality. It’s a bonus. The personality is the important part.”
“Do you think she will come visit our house? Or maybe we could visit her and Angie? You know, after this weekend is over,” he asks.
“Is that something you’re comfortable with?”
“Yeah, Dad, I’d like it, I think,” he says and picks a chunk of bark off a tree.
“Well, unless I really screw something up in the next twenty four hours, it’s likely we’ll see them again.” I bump Luke’s shoulder as we head into our cabin to freshen up. I can’t believe he asked about Jess visiting. That’s big. Even in the brief relationship with Tara, I kept her away from the house as much as possible—away from Luke as much as possible. I didn’t think he was ready to have another woman in our house. I didn’t want him to ever feel like I was replacing Rory. My chest swells at his fondness already for Jess and Angie. It’s one less thing I need to worry about. If he’s good. I’m good.
I all but collapse into one of the bedroom chairs, winded from our little hike back here. I’m exhausted. I tossed and turned last night. My dreams were torturous. I dreamed of all the dirty, bad things I want to do to Jess. Of the sounds she’d make and the way her back would arch when I touched her. I couldn’t relieve myself with Luke in the bed next to mine, so I suffered through the dreams and waking with a rock hard erection on and off all night long. This morning when she kissed me, when her hand slid down and grazed my erection, I almost threw her down on the forest floor and tore her clothes off. Good thing I didn’t, since, apparently, Luke could see us down there. My desire for her is out of hand. The physical attraction is like a magnet drawing me in. Her voice, a siren’s call that eliminates responsible thought.
I want to touch her, feel her, kiss her, hold her for hours, days even. We need to alleviate some of this tension between us or we’ll both burst into balls of fire or implode. I bend forward and pull my shirt off. Standing, I swipe the activities list off the nightstand and look it over to see if there is anything that could entertain Angie and Luke for four or five hours tonight.
“There’s a board game night with snacks at seven,” Luke says with a grin. “I hear Monopoly takes a while to play through.”
I drop the list to the floor and stare at him.
“Come on Dad, you
’re not an activities guy, why else would you be looking at the list?”
I don’t know where this kid gets his balls from but they are etched in brass apparently. “Busted, I guess,” I mumble.
“It’s okay. Angie and I planned this so that you two could spend time together. The goal was for us to entertain ourselves anyway.”
I dig through my bag for my Oxford shirt—the one nice thing I brought per Luke’s request. “I think maybe this isn’t a topic we should discuss any further.”
“I’m almost sixteen, Dad. You should hear the guys on the team talk.”
“I’d rather not,” I shoot back at him. I can only imagine what those little punks talk about and what they’re doing on a regular basis with girls. A shudder runs through me.
“Just saying, we will be playing monopoly for a few hours tonight. So, the cabin will be empty.”
I button up the last of the buttons and straighten out the cuffs. “Can we just go eat now? Please?” I ask. Luke chuckles at me and nods his head.
“Is it weird for the kid to embarrass the parent?”
“It’s rotten. Truly rotten.” I clamp a hand on Luke’s shoulder and usher us out of the cabin and towards the vixen in my dreams.
I put on a pale peach dress and a grey cashmere wrap to keep me warm. Sweeping my hair into a loose French twist, I secure it to my head with a tortoise shell clip. I put teardrop pearls in my ears and slip my feet into a pair of low heels. I dab gloss on my lips and a single coat of mascara to bring out the blue in my eyes.
“Holy Shit, Mom, you look gorgeous!” Angie says, jumping up from the bed. “Let me get a picture of you like that. No, wait till Ty comes, I’ll get a shot of the two of you together. Are you doing the lodge for dinner?”
“I think so, Honey. Would you like to come with us or do you have something else planned?”
“Oh, plans with Luke already. More hot chocolate, board games and then S’mores out back by the fire pit.”
A knock at the door makes my pulse jump like the little fish in the lake. I’ve been to a million fancy dinners in my life and I’ve never felt nerves like this. But it’s anticipation and not necessarily bad. I’m excited to see Ty, to listen to him talk, watch him eat, and kiss him again.
Angie bounces to the door and rips it wide open. Ty is wearing a button-up shirt and has ditched the work boots for the time being. Even dressed up, he still screams rugged man, a nice shirt can’t hide his physique which is lean and hard from years of physical labor. It makes my stomach flop and heat travel through me. I’m used to the pale fish bellies of politicians who work from a chair. The most exercise they get is rising up and coming down from the podium, that, or stroking their own egos provides a bit of a work out.
“You look edible.”
I blush. Like a kid, like a schoolgirl, like a woman who knows nothing about sex. I don’t know how I can seduce him with zero experience in the seduction department. He puts his arms out and I gravitate to him.
“You look like a peach, that I want to get a bite of,” he whispers in my ear, as he wraps his arms around me.
“Smile!” says Angie as she snaps a few photos on her iPhone.
Ty is so affectionate and expressive with his touch. His hands are all over me as we ride in the elevator and coast through the main lobby. On the nape of my neck, around my waist, my shoulders and my back, he marks every part of me with his touch and it makes me feel so cherished.
There’s another beautiful fireplace roaring in the dining room, a rustic, antler adorned wooden A-frame that fits, at the most, twenty white napkin-adorned tables. He pulls my chair out and as soon as he sits down, reaches for my hand under the table. Mine are cold, his are warm, and his large hands envelope mine like a blanket.
“Your eyes, they do strange things to me. They’ve haunted my dreams for so long and now, here you are in the flesh. It makes me speechless sometimes. I wonder how I got so lucky.”
I massage his big hand and run my fingers over the calluses. My fingers slip into the cuff of his shirt and caress the pulse point of his wrist.
“I’m at loss for words with you, too. You’re even better than a dream. You’re a better man than I could have even imagined.”
I order wine and Ty orders our food. We’re trying both the house specialties, fresh-caught salmon and venison stew. Ty spreads butter on a piece of sourdough and hands it to me. His simple, considerate gestures mean the world to me.
“How was your father-son time with Luke today?”
“A blast. That kid is committed to having fun in the best possible way. He adores Angie and he even said you and I look good together. Mentioned you and Angie making the trip up to see us, if that’s something you’d be interested in. We’ve got plenty of room in the house and actually, the garage out back, I’ve redone into a little guesthouse,” Ty says. He eats with an appetite, doesn’t shy away from vegetables and God knows why, but it’s turning me on. The bigger his bite on the fork is, the more I’m squirming in my seat. My hand gravitates to his thigh under the table. I trace my fingers up as high as they’ll go, maybe an inch from his zipper, then spontaneously lean in to touch my lips to his, even though he hasn’t finished chewing.
“Is that a yes?” Ty asks, laughing. He leans back in his chair and brings the cloth napkin to his lips. After a day in the woods, he’s got some scruff beginning to peek through. It makes him look younger, sexier, and even a tiny bit dangerous. I know my eyes have gone glassy from how much I want him.
“Yes. We’d love to. And you’re welcome in the City, any time you want to. The townhouse is big, plenty of room for you both. Don’t even consider a hotel, if you’re coming in for work. You stay with me.” I’m nodding my head as I say it and even to myself, I sound overly possessive.
“I would love to stay with you. What do think about dessert?”
“I think I can’t stand another minute sitting next to you with all of my clothes on.”
We both stand up at the same time.
“My thoughts exactly, the only thing that sounds appetizing to me, is you. And maybe peaches.”
We manage to walk out of the lodge at a normal pace, Ty’s arm around my waist, me leaning into his scent, my hands straining for his chest, his neck, any part I can reach. Once we near the trail, he steps in front of me, holds my hand and guides me into the thickly wooded area. The path is narrow and delicately lit with tiny lights along the side every four to five feet. The trees are dense and the rich, the fecund smell of soil and woodchips, rich undergrowth overcomes me. Ty speeds up his pace and I struggle not to stumble or lose my footing in the near dark. The moon is out and brilliant but almost obscured by the tall trees.
“Ty, wait, I’m caught!” I exclaim as craggy branches reach out and snag my sweater wrap. Turning, I unwind myself out of it and lay the wrap over my forearm. Ty pulls us forward again and I only make it a couple of feet before my heels catch a root and I collide into Ty’s back. I’m giggling and winded and hopping on one foot.
“My shoe is back there somewhere in the dark.”
Ty offers me his arm and I hop as we backtrack looking for it. Ty gets down on his knees in the dirt and leaves that seem to have a layer of slippery mud under them.
“These woods are conspiring against us. The want you all to themselves!”
“Just leave it! We don’t have much time. You can find it in the morning and run it down to my room.” In a moment of lunacy, I reach down and tug off my other heel. I toss it up into the air and we can hear it land but we don’t see where it goes.
Ty grabs my hand again and we run toward the cabin. My bare feet are slipping in the cold mud and I can’t stop laughing. As soon as the cabin comes into view, Ty reaches down and scoops me up in his arms, as if I were a short two by four. I squeal and he kisses me as he walks with me in his arms. He sets me down on the little porch of the cabin and fishes in his pocket for the key. Ty looks down at my feet illuminated by the light over the door.
�
�Jess, your muddy little feet against your pale skin make for one of the sexiest sights I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Really?” I ask, still winded, and laughing from our sprint. He answers by grabbing the back of my neck with force and kissing me hard and fast. His hand slides down my back and cups the curve of my ass, he squeezes gently at first, then steals bigger handfuls as he deepens his kiss. He lifts me again and gently kicks open the door; he flicks on the light and marches me straight to the bathroom.
It’s brightly lit in the small bathroom but it’s extravagant and modern, made to look rustic but no expense is spared in the design. Ty sits me on the edge of the tub and turns on the water.
“Let me wash your feet.”
He looks deeply into my eyes and I want him to wash all of me, I want him to undress me and take me and do whatever he wants with my body. I want to surrender to him and offer up all that I have. The water steams as it streams out of the faucet, Ty lowers my feet in and gooseflesh rises up all over my arms and my upper thighs. He lightly pulls down the zipper on the back of my dress and I shudder in anticipation, as it falls away from my shoulders. Ty traces my freckles along my collarbone and chest. He brushes his lips softly along my shoulder blade and I close my eyes and tilt my head back at the delicate sensation. Ty gathers soap and a washcloth and a water glass from the sink, he lifts one foot into his lap and begins to lather it into a thick foam. Once it’s thoroughly covered he begins to massage my feet. The man knows how to massage and I can’t help but let out a tiny moan. He dips the washcloth in the steaming water and wraps my whole foot in it.
“Your feet will be bruised.”
“I don’t care, it was worth it.”
“You were like Cinderella out there on the path.”
“Only my shoes will get carried away by wolves and I’ll have to go the rest of the weekend in flip flops.”
“I could give a damn what you wear on your feet. But I would die, if you disappeared on me after midnight.”