“What can I do for you, Ronald?” Mike asked.
The sirens were closer. Ronald Jaspers reached out and gripped the board president’s wrist. “Come with me,” he whispered. “I don’t want to go to the hospital alone.”
Mike looked to Garrett for direction. Garrett nodded.
“That’s a great idea, Ronald,” Garrett said as two paramedics rushed through the school’s front doors.
“Take care of things for me, will you?” the principal said to Garrett. “Please.”
“I will,” he answered. “Just get yourself better.”
***
Garrett’s thoughts weighed him down and drained him to exhaustion by the time he got home. Between his unsuccessful hunt for Doug (three damn weeks of tracking, and still nothing), Ronald in the hospital and the decision to finally have a face-to-face talk with his folks, his stress level hit at an all-time high.
Cait waited for him that night at the condo.
“So, tell me, what’s the verdict?” she said. “Did you swing by the hospital after school?”
“Yeah. Ronald’s doing okay, but it was definitely a heart attack. He’s going to need to stay off his feet for a while. I handled things at school today but, until he returns or the board finds a replacement, the superintendent’s going to cover for him.”
She sighed, looking relieved. “Well, good. I’m glad both Ronald and the school are in safe hands. What a scare today.”
“I know.”
“Let’s have a wonderful weekend, though.” She grinned at him. “We can see a few movies if you want. Go out to dinner, maybe. Or just stay home…” Her eyes twinkled.
He took a breath. Somehow he was going to have to get these next words out. “Listen, Cait. This Sunday is Halloween.”
“Yes?”
“I need to go somewhere.”
“Okay,” she said, that old wariness creeping back into her voice. “Where?”
“New Haven.”
“Oh.”
“It’s Jacob’s birthday and back in September I sort of said I…well, I didn’t exactly promise him but I kind of implied I’d probably visit him…”
“Yes, of course,” she said, standing up, taking a few steps backward. “Naturally, you should go. He’ll be glad to see you.”
“It’s all kind of complicated there now, actually, but—”
“You don’t have to explain. It’s your family, after all. Your home.” She waited a few moments, her face unreadable to him, before asking, “You wouldn’t happen to want someone to come along with you, would you? I mean, if you did, I could—”
“No, no, that’s okay. Thanks,” he said, unable to hide his surprise at her offer, but wanting to spare her the drama of such a visit.
He realized his mistake almost immediately. Her disappointment at his offhanded manner of turning her down couldn’t be camouflaged.
“You know, on second thought,” he said, “it’d be really great to have company. To hold your hand during takeoffs and landings.” He forced a smile. “We could sightsee or bum around Yale or something. Why don’t you come with me?”
She gazed into his eyes for a long moment then turned away. “It’s okay, Garrett,” she whispered. “You don’t have to pretend to want me along. I know you have major stuff to iron out in Connecticut. Go and do what you need to do. That’s what’s important. If you come back, then maybe we’ll pick things back up where we left off.”
“If I come back? What are you talking about? Of course I’m coming back.”
She didn’t immediately answer.
He glanced at his watch and mentally calculated the hours before his departure. If he didn’t procrastinate too much, he shouldn’t have any problem getting packed in time. When he looked at her face again, though, he knew he’d just made another mistake. The expression in her eyes was one of dawning realization.
She backed even further away from him, picking up her keys and purse in the process. “So, um, when’s your flight, Garrett? Tonight or tomorrow?”
He stared at her. She was fading away from him before his eyes. “I—well there are lots of different flights out there. I can check the schedule to see when—”
“Not what I asked. I want to know when your flight is. The one you already booked. Because you did book one, didn’t you?” The reproach in her voice was as piercing as a foghorn, and he realized that, from her perspective, his behavior must have come across as secretive and excluding. That she thought he’d been hiding the trip from her, which, in a way, he sort of had been.
He didn’t know how to respond. He opened his mouth but closed it again.
“Tonight or tomorrow?” she said steadily.
He sighed. “My flight is scheduled to leave at eleven p.m. tonight, but I don’t have to take that one. I can change—”
“Don’t change anything, Garrett. Good luck out there. Good night. And goodbye—for now,” she said, walking out the door. “Have a safe trip, okay?”
Though she added in that “for now,” to Garrett’s ear it still sounded like an awfully final parting line. “Cait?” he called after her. “You’re not breaking up with me or anything, are you? Just because I’m flying home?”
He heard a muffled sound coming from the corridor, but it wasn’t clear enough to distinguish whatever word she’d said.
“Cait!” he called again, a little too stunned by the rapid turn of events to move. By the time he could force his feet into the hallway, she was already gone.
***
Something fragile inside her was shattering.
The problem wasn’t that Garrett wanted to go back to Connecticut. Cait couldn’t begrudge him time with his brother or his family, even if the “going home” thing did tap into her old fears.
No. It was that, despite all the time they’d spent together in the past few weeks, he’d booked his flight, plotted out a trip and all but called a cab to take him to the airport before telling her his plans. And it hadn’t even occurred to him to ask her along. Not “I’ve thought about it and it wouldn’t be a good idea for you to come, and here’s why,” but, rather, “It never crossed my mind to include you.”
This hurt, badly. She would be willing to compromise in most areas, but she couldn’t be with a man who’d always put her second in his life. Who’d think of her as incidental to whatever his real plans were.
She called Jenna.
“I can be over to your place in a half hour,” her friend said. “What kind of ice cream should I bring?”
“You don’t have to come. I just wanted to talk to someone for a few minutes. A friend who would understand—”
“Cait, you know my hubby put me through hell before we were married. Men just do that kind of thing. They’re clueless when it comes to knowing what women want.” Jenna paused and let her words sink in. “Triple Ripple or Nutty Almond Fudge?”
Cait sniffled. “Both, please.”
“You got it, girlfriend. I’ll toss in a classic movie, too.”
***
Women are irrational, crazy making and altogether not worth the trouble, Garrett thought for the six-hundredth time since yesterday.
He was at Jacob’s place in New Haven eating chocolate-bar miniatures and drinking a bottle of birthday champagne in honor of his brother’s big day. But his spirit wasn’t in the mood for celebration no matter how hard he tried.
“Tell me again, what is it that’s so appealing about life in West Virginia?”
“Wisconsin, Jacob. Dammit, it’s Wisconsin.”
“Okay, Wisconsin. Anyway, it’s not here.”
“That’s true, and that’s something largely in its favor.”
“So that’s it? Your reason for choosing to live there is that arbitrary?”
Garrett considered lying. Yes, Wisconsin had seemed pretty far away from Connecticut when the district’s superintendent had approached him with the job offer in August. But Garrett knew weeks ago this wouldn’t be reason enough to stay beyond his contract.
And lately he’d been thinking very long term.
“No,” he said finally. And then he spilled his guts to his brother. He told him all about the school district and the goofy Harvest Hoopla and the small-town, tightly knit community he’d become so fond of. Mostly he talked about Cait and her family. How they’d welcomed him. How he’d fallen in love with her despite their various misunderstandings and insecurities.
“So, what are you doing hanging out at my place eating Halloween candy?” Jacob asked, giving him a good-natured shove. “You’d better get back there, especially if you think this relationship of yours has a chance of lasting longer than three weeks. I got no advice for you beyond that.” He glanced at his Rolex. “There’s usually a westbound flight around seven.”
“Tomorrow,” he said. “After I see Mom and Dad. But tonight’s reserved for my only brother. Happy birthday, man. A day early.” Garrett raised his glass. “To your next thirty-four years.”
Jacob laughed and clinked glasses with him. “And to your next thirty-four hours.”
The next day, though, Garrett stood on the steps of his parents’ house, wishing he had a little more time and another glass of champagne to work up the nerve to ring the bell. He’d reserved a ticket on the red-eye back to Milwaukee, figuring he’d need the whole afternoon and evening to square a few things with his folks. He’d come unannounced, to surprise his mom. Hoping to please her.
He was the one who got the surprise.
They were gone. Out of town. No answer on their cell phones.
Not even Jacob knew where they were. But he said they’d sent him a big cake. It arrived after Garrett left that morning with a note saying they’d take him to dinner when they got back.
Garrett returned to Jacob’s house, ate cake with him, handed out candy to the neighborhood trick-or-treaters and whiled away the whole of that Sunday until his flight.
***
Monday morning came and Cait’s hands were still trembling. Whether it was from frustration, hurt or too much sugar (both half-gallons of Jenna’s ice cream were long gone), she couldn’t say. What she did know was that she hadn’t seen Garrett last night or this morning. Didn’t even know if he’d flown back. He wasn’t at school that day, and he hadn’t called her or left any kind of message.
Cait twisted a paperclip from her desk and toyed with the idea of her own escape. Now that her mom was safely settled at Seth and Dianne’s, she wouldn’t be needed nearly as much. Plus, Mia-World had already taken over. No one could compete with a toddler for entertainment, so Grandma Georgina was set.
As for Garrett, he was probably furious with her, and maybe he had a right to be mad because she’d walked away from him on Friday, but he still didn’t understand her or know how to let her into his life. You couldn’t really need someone you didn’t understand. You couldn’t really love that person.
Plus, Garrett had the kind of charisma that could draw in tons of women. Since he was only interested in something short term, sooner or later he’d be glad things between them ended. He’d gotten his Midwestern diversion, and now he could concentrate on his true priorities…of which she clearly wasn’t one. Maybe she could disappear for a while. Take a vacation herself. Make it an even cleaner break.
But, of course, leaving was out of the question. She’d never abandon a classroom of students midyear. It went against every notion of responsibility she had. And, besides, this was home. This was where she belonged. This was where she chose to stay.
Garrett would have to make his own choices, and she knew she couldn’t control that. It was like that sappy cliché: If you love someone, set him free. If he comes back to you, he’s yours…
And if he doesn’t—like Fredric—he never was.
She rubbed her temples. Well, at least some wisdom came out of that disastrous relationship after all. She could see that finally and no longer feel the same sting of regret at having had her engagement end the way it did. Maybe one day she’d be able to look at her relationship with Garrett much more philosophically, too.
But for now…oh, it was a difficult morning to be at school. At least it couldn’t get much worse than this…this waiting and wondering.
“Excuse me,” said a voice behind her. “Are you Cait Walsh?”
Cait swiveled around to greet the visitor. An elderly woman, tall, familiar-looking, but a little too old perhaps to be the mother of an elementary schooler. Had she seen her in the building before? Maybe a grandma? A devoted aunt?
“Yes. How may I help you?”
“My daughter told me about you, and I wanted to meet you myself,” she said.
The lady had a decidedly distinguished air, although her lips were pulled tight in a line of worry. It was probably Jimmy’s grandmother, Cait thought with a jolt. Jimmy’s mom said she and his father were back in court over custody issues again, poor kid.
“My name is Janine,” the woman said, stepping forward and extending her hand. “Janine Ellis.”
Cait’s heart stopped mid-beat. She stared at Garrett’s mom, forgetting for a few long seconds that a reply would be required.
“I—I’m pleased to meet you, Mrs. Ellis,” Cait said, recovering enough to shake her hand. “You—you’re here visiting?”
Her hazel eyes, disguised somewhat by spectacles not worn in the famous gift basket photo tag, were gentle as they assessed Cait. “No, dear. I’m here to bring Garrett home.”
This was enough to render Cait speechless again.
“Marianne mentioned you and my son were seeing each other. I hope this isn’t too presumptuous of me, but could you tell me, is it a serious thing?”
Cait’s lips attempted to form words. “W—well, we, um—” She paused.
“Tough question?” Janine Ellis smiled kindly. “That’s okay, dear. Sometimes it’s hard to know with Garrett.”
Cait located her voice. “That’s true, Mrs. Ellis,” she said simply. “No formal commitment of any kind has been made, though, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
A sad expression crept into Janine’s face. “I don’t mean to put you on the spot, Cait. I was just trying to determine the strength of my son’s ties to this area. He—he isn’t always as forthcoming with information as I’d like. At least not with me.”
“I understand,” Cait whispered.
“Do you? If so, I apologize on Garrett’s behalf. The past ten months have been—” Her eyes clouded with sadness. “They’ve been nothing short of hellacious. None of us have been at our best.” She dabbed at her lashes.
“I’m so sorry.”
Janine waved her hand as if to brush the grief aside for another day. “I’m afraid if we don’t get Garrett back home soon, we’ll lose him forever. We weren’t as careful with him as we should have been, and I don’t know if he understands how important he is to us. He’s been in Jacob’s shadow for so long…” She seemed to pull herself in tight, not allowing errant emotions to escape.
“Is there something I can do for you? Some way I can help?” Cait wanted to reach out to the woman, but mourning descended upon her own soul. She’d been right from the first. One way or another Garrett would leave her. The fact that she wouldn’t get to see him at all soon—not even in a cold, platonic manner—hurt more than she could’ve imagined.
“No, thank you, dear. My husband’s roaming the halls and doesn’t know where I’ve slipped off to,” Janine said. “Told him I had to find the ladies’ room.” The women shared a fleeting smile.
“I don’t know if this helps, Mrs. Ellis, but I believe Garrett was just in New Haven. He may still be there. He told me he was flying home late on Friday night, and I was under the impression he wanted to see you, your husband and Jacob over the weekend.”
“I didn’t realize…” A light of hope sprang into her eyes. “Thank you, dear, for telling me. I can see why Marianne spoke so highly of you, and I’m especially glad I had the chance to meet you in person. Thanks for spending a few minutes with me.” She paused. “I’m sorry th
ings didn’t work out better for you and my son, though.” The older lady gave Cait a hug. “Good luck to you.”
“And to you,” Cait said, releasing her.
A minute later Garrett’s mother was down the hall, and Cait was as alone as ever.
***
Garrett sat on a sofa still scented by Cait’s perfume, groggy from lack of sleep, when he heard the knock at the door.
He’d called in for a personal day off at the last minute because he needed to think things through. When to meet up with his parents, for one thing. And, for another, how to discuss with Cait his growing feelings for her, despite their relationship missteps. He was willing to concede he’d been in the wrong more than once…but she had been, too.
Opening the door and seeing his mother standing there took care of question number one.
“Mom?”
“Hi, honey. May we come in?”
It wasn’t until he’d said, “Of course,” that he saw his father, leaning against the hallway wall, looking as if he’d aged a decade in less than a year.
“Hello,” he whispered to his dad.
“Garrett, how are you?”
“Okay.” He paused. “You know, I was just in New Haven this weekend. I stopped by yesterday but—”
“But we’d flown here,” his mom finished. “I know. Cait told me, and I just spoke with Jacob, too. We’d foolishly left our cell phones at home.”
Cait told her? Garrett felt a rush of conflicting emotions, which jumbled up his thoughts and made every action feel out of order. He offered them sodas, which they politely accepted but didn’t drink. He made small talk about Jacob’s birthday and Marianne’s latest fruit-basket designs.
But, in facing his parents that morning, Garrett couldn’t help but feel sympathetic to criminals pushed before a firing squad. They, at least, had the benefit of a blindfold. He, on the other hand, had to suffer through watching his mom’s eyes fill with tears every few seconds, which she valiantly fought back, and he had to deal with the grim set of his dad’s jaw every time the man tried to speak.
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