by Megan Derr
The passion had been a sweet addition. A hot, heady, addictive addition, though the affection that created it was sweeter by far.
He still, by some Dragon granted miracle, had Cemal. What he'd done to earn Cemal's faith he didn't know, but he wasn't going to question it. All he wanted to know was if there was any chance of regaining Mahzan and Sule.
Living without them wouldn't kill him, but it might finally break him beyond his ability to repair or endure. He was tired. After longing for so many years…to finally have what he'd always wanted, only to immediately lose it… Let the Great Dragon deal with her own damned problems. Binhadi had sacrificed enough for people who never did anything but snub and betray him.
"How are you awake?" Cemal asked groggily, his voice washing over Binhadi like a balm, warming him better than any fire.
"Nature called," Binhadi said, and finished off the wine he was holding before refilling the cup and carrying it over to the bed.
Cemal smiled and took the cup as Binhadi held it out. "Still, you have been thrown into walls, nearly died twice, and I do not think our earlier activities were what a healer would recommend for recovery."
"Then the healer is a fool, for I feel greatly improved."
"Uh-huh." Cemal finished the wine and handed the cup back. "If you're so invigorated, see what you can do about food that's not had hours to grow unpleasant."
Binhadi swept him as graceful a bow as a naked man could, then scooped up his dressing robe and pulled it on before taking the tray up and heading for the kitchen. Given the late hour, he was loath to disturb the servants.
He wasn't remotely surprised to see Eser there, eating a large piece of savory pie and drinking wine straight from the bottle. "I can never tell when you're reacting to a vision and when I'm just being predictable."
"A little of both this time," Eser said.
"I thought you'd found a way to completely block the visions around small numbers of people." It was impossible around large numbers of people, where muffling was the best that could be hoped for—unless the seer was so heavily sedated she was rendered damn near comatose. Most of Eser's time in the Heart had been spent in a cloud of drugs and alcohol.
Living in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by only a half dozen or so servants, she could use far less of those drugs and alcohol and gain complete peace.
Binhadi headed into the pantry on the far side of the enormous kitchen to gather food for himself and Cemal. He turned to the table and spread it out then fetched a couple of plates, a tray, and utensils. "You had a vision of me?"
"I went looking for a vision of you," Eser replied quietly, and drank a heavy swallow of wine. "I could not believe for one second that you had any intention of killing your friends, not when I could see you were just this side of besotted with them. I think if you had not suffered so in the past, you would be besotted."
Besotted had come and gone, but Binhadi said nothing, just set to slicing bread, cheese, and fruit.
"Are you going to ask?"
"Does it matter whether or not I do? You didn't wait here not to tell me."
Eser shrugged. "When I have control of the matter, I don't share unless people desire it. Ignorance is oftentimes the Dragon's greatest blessing."
"Yes, it is," Binhadi said softly. "Let's have it, then. Though I hope this time is less depressing than the last."
You will betray two kings. Twice will you be betrayed by kings. Binhadi had hated the words the moment Eser had spoken them, and the worst part was that even after his so-called betrayal of Seda, there was still plenty of betrayal yet to come to pass. And there was not a Dragon-damned thing Binhadi could do about it.
Eser flinched. "Nothing so dramatic this time. You should visit three places after you leave here: the Temple of the Sky, the village of Shimoor Hollow, and the ruins of Terem City."
She fell silent, and Binhadi stared. When the silence stretched on, he set down the knife he was still holding. "That's it?"
"No, there's plenty more detail to the matter, but that's all you need." Eser stood, swaying slightly and catching herself on the edge of the table. "Now I have said what I came to say. I hope, despite all you have endured, and must yet endure, that you find happiness, Binhadi. You deserve it more than anyone I know."
"You deserve it more by far," Binhadi said, and watched as she wandered off, sighing when he was alone in the kitchen. Finishing his work, he cleaned up the dishes he'd dirtied, loaded the plates, cups, and wine on the tray, and returned to the bedroom.
Cemal still lay sprawled, beautiful and enthralling, in the large bed, so pale he almost seemed to glow against the dark silk sheets. Binhadi set the tray on the table and walked over to the bed. "I'm surprised you didn't go back to sleep."
"I was tempted, but I am hungry." He reached out and carded fingers gently through Binhadi's hair, a warmth in his eyes that Binhadi had never really seen directed at him before, a hesitant smile on his pretty mouth. "Wanted to make sure you were still well, too."
"I think I proved earlier that I am sufficiently healed," Binhadi said.
Cemal laughed, then gently tugged him down to kiss him softly, lazily, as though they were lovers lolling about their house with nothing important to do that day.
But as tempting as it was to crawl back into bed with him and attempt a repeat of their earlier activities, they were both hungry and there were matters still requiring discussion. Binhadi let the kiss linger a few moments more, though, before withdrawing and tugging Cemal out of bed.
He poured wine while Cemal pulled on a dressing robe and built the fire back up. It was a sweeter wine than he normally favored, but from the way Cemal smiled when he tasted it, Binhadi couldn't be sorry for choosing it.
"Oh, Dragon, this tastes amazing. I miss eating like this all the time. I never minded strange beds and unfamiliar faces, wandering from temple to temple, but I always hated when I wound up in places where the food was subpar. Stupid thing for a priest to fuss over, but all the same."
Binhadi's mouth twitched. He took a swallow of wine then ate an olive. "As long as you're not the type of priest to take up smuggling wine and food, I do not see the harm. Good food is not something to be taken for granted."
"No, it definitely is not. I wish one of us was better at cooking."
"I've never had any complaints about your cooking, especially given how little you often have to work with."
Cemal smiled. "Flatterer."
"Sule would say the same."
"Sule is a soldier. They'll call week old bread the best thing they've eaten if they had to do without food for longer than a few hours. Not that I'm going to complain if the two of you want to keep complimenting me."
Binhadi's levity died. He had not heard all that had been said while he was unconscious, but Eser had told him of every last word. "I think you will have to settle for one or the other, because I am certain Sule will not be in a complimenting mood if I'm around." Whatever Eser said, he could not see Sule or Mahzan wanting to so much as look at him ever again.
He looked up as Cemal's hand covered his and squeezed gently. "They'll calm down, don't give up. Anyway, it's not like they are only mad at you. By the end of it, we'd all said pretty awful things to and about each other." His face clouded. "Nor should you forget that in all of this, the only one who reacted with violence was Mahzan. He nearly killed you."
"He didn't mean to. He was rightfully—"
"That's no excuse to throw you into a wall!" Cemal bellowed.
"He thought I'd tricked all of you into this to kill you," Binhadi said softly. "I would not react pleasantly in his position. I also don't think he meant to do more than stop me using my shadows, and anger got the better of him. He rarely uses that particular ability. I doubt he was prepared for how it would behave with the full weight of the Oath behind it."
Cemal huffed. "We'll see. But if he doesn't apologize properly I'm going to throw him into a wall and see how he likes it."
"I don't think t
hat will help matters," Binhadi said with the barest of smiles.
"No, but Mahzan will not be able to argue with me about it, which is such a rare occurrence, I may do it simply for the pleasure."
Binhadi laughed.
Cemal smiled, brighter and happier than Binhadi could ever recall seeing, and Cemal was the only one of them who did smile and laugh with frequency and sincerity. "I don't think I've ever seen you laugh before—not like that, anyway." His head tilted slightly. "You've seemed different since you woke up."
Binhadi looked down, feeling unusually flustered. "When I woke, I realized I had finally fallen as far as I could. Nowhere to go but up." Binhadi shrugged and drank more wine. "Let's hope I keep climbing; it would be a nice change."
"I know the feeling," Cemal said. He hesitated, but finally asked, "So did you know about the dragon magic?"
"Yes, and I had hopes it would make it possible for us to kill the fearmonger—but only if it wasn't actually fatal, and only if everyone was willing to try. I wasn't going to bother mentioning it at all if I could not resolve the first issue. There didn't seem to be any point." He pinched his eyes shut. "Fool me."
"Fool all of us," Cemal said. "Not a single one of us has handled this matter like the adults we claim to be. Do not dwell on it any longer. We'll find them and set all to rights again." He rose and moved to stand in front of Binhadi, gently cupped his face, and bent to kiss him.
Binhadi sighed into it. Setting his cup aside, he surrendered to the need to draw Cemal even closer and pulled him into his lap. Cemal drew back with a faint snicker, then ghosted kisses all over his face. "I always knew priests didn't abstain as much as they liked to tell everyone."
"I think whores have less sex than pious priests," Cemal replied with a grin, and went back to kissing.
Binhadi could not remember the last time mere kisses had affected him so deeply. The genuine pleasure Cemal took in it, that he had been the one to initiate more often than not… People didn't do that. Binhadi didn't think he'd ever get used to the idea that someone really and truly liked him. Life would never be the same without Mahzan and Sule; that ache would linger as strongly as if they had died. But at least he would not mourn their absence alone. Would not have to return to his solitary life.
Cemal slid from his lap after a few minutes and tugged Binhadi to his feet. Leading him to the bed, he shrugged out of his robe and dropped it to the floor before crawling into the midst of the rumpled blankets. "Come to bed, shadow mage, and I'll thank you for bringing me dinner."
"You may want to be careful with such thanks. I'll start to expect it every time I bring you dinner." Binhadi discarded his robe and did as he was told.
Dragging him in close, Cemal kissed him and replied, "I do not think you'll find me complaining."
Binhadi smiled, and after that no further words were needed.
*~*~*
When he woke again, it was to pleasant soreness, and sunlight coming in through drapes he knew had been closed when they'd finally slept.
At that, the bed was notably lacking one priest. Binhadi yawned and threw back the blankets. He hastily washed up in the fresh water in the basin and pulled on the clothes a servant had laid out: black winter hose, a violet undertunic, a long black tunic embroidered with violets and roses, and his own boots, thankfully. Swiftly braiding his hair, he grabbed up bread and cheese from the platter on the table and headed out to see what was going on.
He found Cemal and Eser outside, chatting while servants finished readying the horses. Binhadi walked up to his mare and stroked her nose, smiling faintly as she promptly demanded more attention. People might hate him, but animals had never taken issue.
"You're finally awake," Eser called.
Binhadi cast her a look, lazily taking control of Eser's shadow to tug at the edges of her robes, making Eser startle before she figured out what had happened. When she glared, Binhadi smirked and let the shadow rest. "You should have woken me."
Cemal replied, "Sleep is going to be hard enough to come by all too soon, given our eminent return to dirt beds and rock pillows."
"Please do not make me think about it before I must."
"You'll be significantly better off this time," Eser said. "Honestly, did you never think to pick up better provisions along the way? I suppose you were in a hurry, though. I have rectified the matter for you. There are pallets and blankets aplenty for all of you, with additional horses to carry the load, along with food and other provisions. Enough to keep four men happy. They should not slow you down significantly. Now get along with you while there is plenty of daylight left. There should be a safe spot for the two of you to camp about ten hours away if you travel steadily."
Binhadi let go of his horse to embrace Eser. "Thank you, for everything. It's good to see you happy."
"I hope to see you the same soon. Visit when you're able."
"I will." Binhadi hugged her one last time then returned to his horse and swung into the saddle. Cemal did the same nearby, and with a wave and several thanks, they rode away down the drive and back toward the forest.
Cemal broke the easy the silence as they reached the trees. "Not too sore, I hope?"
Binhadi rolled his eyes. "You're not that talented."
Laughing so loudly he startled a few birds, Cemal said, "I do believe I heard a challenge. Though given what little I know about you and concubines, maybe it takes the hard work of three to wear you out, my lord?" Cemal laughed at Binhadi's huff. "I think he protests too hard."
"Think as you like," Binhadi said, but smiled faintly.
Cemal's grin widened, and he started humming, occasionally singing, various hymns, peppering them with travel songs they'd learned from Mahzan.
They traveled in peace for two days, taking turns keeping watch against encroaching beasts.
The fourth day, just as Binhadi was making the foolish mistake of relaxing, a manticore found them.
More accurately, they reached the clearing where the manticore had just killed its dinner. Nothing was nastier than a manticore that felt its meal was in danger of being stolen. It attacked before Binhadi registered it was moving.
He threw up shadows to slow it, gagging at the rancid smell coming off it, the product of bloody kill after bloody kill and a beast that wasn't much inclined toward bathing. Beneath the grime and crusted blood and buzzing flies, it had a purple-brown hide and the leathery stubs where many believed they must have once possessed wings. This one's mane was gray and heavily matted, completely gone in patches by either time or fighting. The heavy claw at the tip of its thick tail sliced the grass as it dragged along.
As expected, his shadows didn't slow it much; the bastard too quick and wily and familiar with the area.
Before Binhadi could even scream a warning, something surged past him: an enormous beast that was some strange blending of wolf and man, covered in thick silver-gray fur but standing upright and with two arms—though the hands were tipped in long, wicked curving claws that tore open the manticore's side like it was made of wet parchment.
The fight was over before it had ever truly begun. Binhadi stared, mouth agape. The others had told him of it, he had seen the memories, but memory did not do justice to how magnificent Cemal looked. He huffed and snorted at the dead manticore then turned to face Binhadi. His eyes glowed brilliant blue. He flicked his tongue out, breaths misting in the chilly air.
"I knew you'd be magnificent when you came into your own. I can't wait to see what else you manage."
Wolf Cemal bared his teeth in what seemed to be a smile, then blue light engulfed him. The light shifted, changed, and as it faded away, an enormous griffon had taken the wolf's place.
Binhadi threw himself off his horse and ran across the clearing. He cupped the gigantic head in his hands, careful to avoid the splashes of manticore blood that coated patches of soft feathers. He laughed in delight. "Oh, my Dragon. Look at you." He stopped, realization hitting him. "Is this how you managed to get a healing mage to m
e so quickly?" Cemal butted gently against his chest. "You are breathtaking."
Cemal cawed and then light once more consumed him, and a few moments later Cemal stood before him—human and quite naked. Binhadi kissed him hard, sinking his fingers into Cemal's hair, this time ignoring the warm, sticky manticore blood that quickly coated his fingers. Cemal made a rough noise, but then his hands settled on Binhadi's hips as he returned the kiss.
Eventually drawing back, Binhadi laughed again. "What else can you do?"
"I don't know. Those are all I've tried. You don't find it… troubling? Terrifying?"
"I imagine if I was the source of your ire that I would not enjoy being attacked by that wolf creature, but no, you're not terrifying. Haven't I said I am nothing but impressed? That sort of shifting was always accounted myth and exaggeration, but here you are doing it like it's the easiest thing in the world." He frowned suddenly. "Are you well?"
"A little tired, but nothing like I was the first time I turned into the griffon and flew for hours."
"Flew!" Binhadi shivered. "What was that like?"
"You can find out for yourself sometime," Cemal said, and kissed him again quickly. "Now I would really like my clothes back." He grimaced. "And something to clean all this blood off."
Binhadi smiled faintly and stepped away, following right behind him as they returned to the horses. Several minutes later they were on their way again, and the stench of the dead manticore should keep other predators away for some time.
And in a few more days, they'd reach the temple. After that… after that, they would locate their missing companions and either set all to rights, or bid them farewell forever.
Binhadi had long ago learned to stop hoping—hope was for the weak, for fools, for people who seemed to enjoy pain.
But if there was anything worth hoping for, it was his Oathbound.
FIRE
Sule could not remember the last time he'd been so damned drunk.