by Megan Derr
Binhadi's chest ached as the man in a chair by the large fireplace in the sitting area closed his book and rose. All the years that passed, Seda remained gut-wrenchingly beautiful, tall and willowy, his dark hair falling in heavy locks that he'd loosely pulled back with a wide ribbon, his eyes a paler version of Binhadi's.
He'd loved this man for years. They'd started friends, grown as close as brothers… and then one voyage had changed that, made them into something that only grew stronger as time passed. By the time they'd returned from their travels abroad, utterly convinced they were now wise, experienced men of the world, it had seemed impossible that they would do anything but marry and rule their kingdom together.
Binhadi still wasn't certain if he'd been a complete and utter fool all those years, or if Seda really had changed in the face of the secret revealed to them.
He was no longer in love with Seda, too much had happened to restore what had been damaged and lost, but some small part of him would always ache for what might have been. So many times he'd wished their damned fathers had just kept their secret to themselves and left him and Seda happily ignorant.
But maybe telling them they were brothers had only sped the inevitable, and something else further along the way would have turned Seda into a mean-hearted bastard. Binhadi would never know, and sometimes that was the worst part.
Reassured by the warm affection of the others buzzing in his mind, he stepped forward, shadows twitching at the ready. "Your Highness."
Seda's mouth twisted. "Warlock Binhadi, you're an unexpected sight. What brings you to see me?"
"Do not play the fool with me," Binhadi said more calmly than he felt. "Did you really think we wouldn't deduce it was you and your damned Oathbound that sent that fearmonger?"
"Fearmonger?" Surprise and confusion filled Seda's face. "What fearmonger?"
"The one that destroyed the Heart, and the one that attacked us last night."
Seda shook his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He sneered. "Come now, Binni, surely you know me better than that. I prefer to do the killing myself." The expression abruptly dropped. "Wait. What do you mean, the one that destroyed the Heart?"
Dread began to fill Binhadi's chest and sink into his gut like balls of lead. "An enormous fearmonger destroyed the Heart on the first day of Counting. There's nothing left but rubble."
"The Heart—" Seda stopped, shock turned into dismay turned into realization. Then he started to laugh and laugh and laugh, like a man whose mind had finally snapped. The book he'd still been holding slipped from his fingers and landed with a muffled thud on the floor, mangling the delicate pages. "You're still hopeless, Binni. So determined to be the only member of the Morlock family who isn't a backstabbing bastard that you end up the fool time and time again. If you wanted to kill the person responsible for that fearmonger, you should have killed my brother."
Binhadi closed his eyes, fighting tears. Exhaustion and despair washed through him. He was tired. So very damned tired of being feared. Being alone. Being used. Being wrong.
"I don't understand," Mahzan said into the stark silence that fell. "You're the one locked up for being a murderous, crazy, Dragon-rejected bastard. Why would His Majesty destroy the Heart? It's his home, his seat of power."
Seda laughed again, low and smug and mean. "His very expensive seat." He stooped to retrieve the book and smoothed out the pages with deft, elegant fingers. "The Heart is costly to maintain, and that cost increases by at least five percent every year. Expanding it would require so much in funds it would be cheaper to start a new kingdom, if everything went according to plan. If even one thing went wrong, the costs would increase tenfold. Living in the middle of an enormous lake is stupid. There have always been plans to move the capital elsewhere, but kings and queens ultimately prefer their grandeur."
"So move the damned city," Sule snapped. "Why would he have to level it and kill tens of thousands of people? We lost artisans, scholars, soldiers, good hard laborers—all manner of irreplaceable skill and capability. That's not how you lower costs, that's how you—"
"Make it easier to bring in another country," Cemal cut in softly, but the words resounded. "Orhanis was part of Petrocia once, and the 'eternal peace' between us and them has never been as stable as our esteemed rulers would like everyone to think. We provided many raw materials to Petrocia, along with taxes—obscenely high taxes. Those alone made Orhanis worth having as a colony. All of that vanished when Orhanis broke away, and the contracts negotiated since then have never been as satisfying to Petrocia."
Binhadi wanted to cry. He was so fucking stupid.
You're not, Mahzan said. You're good, no matter how hard everyone tries to make you out to be otherwise. No matter how much they try to drive you to it. Even when I threw you into a fucking wall and almost killed you, you forgave me, trusted me, helped me.
Seda smiled, in that smug way only a royal could. "Make Orhanis a colony again, Yavuz gets all the perks of a regent and none of the burdens of a king. Petrocia thrives, he thrives, most of Orhanis will never notice the difference, save for the collars around their throats, and all it cost was one city and a hundred thousand people or so—including all the bothersome people in power who might have taken issue with returning to Petrocia's iron grip. In the greater scheme of empires, that sort of loss is a triviality."
"Shut up!" Mahzan bellowed, throwing out his magic and snatching Seda up, throwing him across the room to land on his bed. "You callous, heartless bastard, I will—"
Binhadi reached out and grabbed his arm, reeled him back in. "Stop it, he's not worth it. We've been played for fools, but there's still time to fix it. I hope."
"Please, what do you think you can do?" Seda laughed again, slowly untangling the blankets that had flown up around him on impact. He moved to sit at the foot of the bed, elbows planted on his spread legs. "Slay the evil king, take the throne you've nobly rejected? How quaint. Your royal jester there will love dressing that story up and whoring it out to everyone on the street."
Mahzan snarled. "I will break every bone—"
"You're not the only mage here," Seda broke in coldly. "I may not be as talented a shadow mage as our dear Binhadi, but I can snap your neck before you have time to do anything. Though I admit I've never seen a mind mage with such strong abilities. Usually they flop over after just trying to move a pencil across a desk." He laughed. "Binhadi must love having you beneath his fingers."
Sule stepped forward so he stood between Seda and the others, resting one hand lightly on his sword. "You won't touch them before I finish you."
"That's disrespectful. What manner of soldier did you scrape from the mud, Binni?"
"It's Binhadi, and this is the former North Captain. He took over after the last one was murdered. And there's no need for anyone to be slinging threats. I came prepared to kill you, Seda, but if you're not behind the attacks then I'd rather just leave you to rot."
Dismay filled Seda's face for a fleeting second; if Binhadi hadn't known him so well, he would have missed it.
I wouldn't have; he's not blocking very well. Which, actually, that makes me rather suspicious.
Yes, I agree.
That makes four of us, I think, Cemal added, and Sule gave the barest nod, never once taking his eyes off Seda.
"You have to take me with you—who will take care of the kingdom if you're going to kill my worthless brother? You know they'll just come running to me anyway. I'm the only remaining heir. Except for you, obviously." He sneered. "But I'm not sure you count anymore, if you ever did."
Cemal stepped forward, catching Seda's eye. "I'm not happy about Binhadi's pain, but I'm glad you two parted because it's increasingly apparent, Highness, that you're not good enough for him."
Seda started laughing, long and loud and mocking. "Oh, Binni, you have finally got yourself a charming little harem, haven't you?"
Sighing, Binhadi turned away. "They're my lovers, not my concubines. Farewell, Seda. Enjoy t
he life you made for yourself."
"No!" Seda bellowed, and all around the room shadows burst into life, grabbing for them. Binhadi stole them, fought as Seda tried to take them back, the entire room seeming to twist and writhe. "You're not leaving me here!"
Sule snapped his arm out and a fire sword filled it, flickering, sparks bursting as he strode across the room toward Seda—and snarled as shadows snaked out and grabbed him, drove him to the floor.
"Damn it—" Binhadi tried to steal them back, but he could only control so many, and whatever he let go, Seda took over, until they were all pinned in place, save Binhadi.
You'd better do something soon, Mahzan snarled. I am damned tired of holding back.
I don't… Binhadi said. "Seda, let us go."
"Not unless you take me! With your blood and mine, I can leave this damned room. I can do it with you dead or alive."
Binhadi shook his head. "You can't kill me. Without me no one will be able to stop that fearmonger. It will take the four of us, strengthened by our Oath. You certainly don't have time or ability to free your men and fly to the rescue."
"I'm not staying here!" Seda bellowed, all the shadows jerking with the force of it. "I deserve to be king. I'm better suited to it. I wouldn't have murdered the Heart—"
"Liar," Mahzan whispered. "You project the right thoughts loudly, like a performer being prompted. But you're not that great a liar, Highness. It was your idea to destroy the Heart. Your idea to return Orhanis to its colony status. That's why your father didn't want—"
Seda screamed, and that was a scream Binhadi knew. "No, Seda, don't—"
Everything happened at once: Sule moved, fire and fury. Cemal leaped over Binhadi's head as a huge, looming wolf. Mahzan's energy burst out in a destructive wave, leaving the contents of the room in pieces and dropping Seda where he stood.
Whether it was mind or fire or beast that actually killed Seda, Binhadi couldn't sort out. He dropped to the floor and stared blankly at Seda's crumpled, twisted, bleeding body, barely aware of the hot tears streaming down his face.
Cemal pressed up against his back, arms sliding around his waist. Sule rested heavily against his right side, Mahzan his left. Binhadi closed his eyes. "Did the bastard ever care at all? Even once? Was everything he said and did a lie?"
"Not everything," Mahzan said. "You were his last thought, a great fondness and a deep regret."
"I lost my resolve. I was weak yet again. I should have walked in here and killed him—"
"Stop," Cemal said. "I had every reason in the world to kill the man that murdered my sister, and to this day I regret it, and I didn't start out loving him. Let it go, Binhadi. You've always done the best you could with what you're given."
Binhadi's eyes pinched tighter, and while it wasn't so easy to let things go, he could hold fast to the men who were still with him despite having every reason to walk away.
"You didn't give up on us," Sule said. "You found us. You saved us. The very first time we all crossed paths, again as the Heart collapsed, and after we tried to walk away from the Oath. Come on, let's go home and murder a king."
Shuddering, Binhadi let them pick him up. He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his face. "Burn his body, please, Sule. Cemal, you can do the rites if you want, but I don't particularly care if you do. I'm going to wait outside."
He strode out and breathed in the chilly sea air. They hadn't been in there for more than an hour, but it felt like it had been days. In the meantime, the mist had burned off, though clouds lingered. Though the sun struggled to be seen, the day seemed determined to be dreary.
Mahzan huddled next to him, one arm around his waist, his head resting on Binhadi's shoulder. "I'm sorry."
I should feel relieved.
Even I know you should feel sad. I would, in your place, and I can be pretty damned cold.
You're one of the warmest people I know.
Temperamental isn't really the same thing, but you're welcome to think so.
Binhadi smiled briefly. Everyone is better off with him dead. I wish so much that wasn't true.
You loved him.
Yes. Binhadi sighed. He'd hated their fathers from the moment they'd told him the truth, had never gotten past what seemed like a betrayal. But telling him the truth had probably saved his life, even if declaring him king had nearly gotten him killed.
Mahzan kissed his cheek.
Binhadi turned into it, took a full, soft kiss. I must be a fool, after all, to be moping about a man who would have happily killed me when I have the three of you.
Now you're starting to see sense, Sule said, and a moment later the door swung open. He stepped outside, followed by Cemal, who carried a small gold box.
"Ashes," Cemal said. "If you wanted them, or we can cast them to the sea."
"Cast them to the sea," Binhadi said. "We'll do it on our way back to shore. Let's go home. There's a king in want of killing, and this time I will not weaken and hesitate." He drew away from Mahzan and led the way down the tower and back through the gloomy fortress.
The captain stood talking with several soldiers, but the conversation faded off as they noticed Binhadi and the others. "Everything well, my lord?"
Binhadi drew a deep breath and replied, "His Royal Highness Prince Seda is dead, killed on orders of His Royal Majesty King Yavuz. We have his ashes and will be taking them home to his brother. If you have concerns, you may contact His Majesty directly."
Shaking his head, the captain motioned his soldiers out of the way, and gestured for Binhadi and the others to pass. His face had paled, mouth drawn, but he said nothing as they swept past, only called out to his guards to follow him as the gates slammed shut.
Outside, Sule and Cemal immediately commandeered one of the boats docked there, and several minutes later they were sailing away.
Binhadi walked to the stern and slowly gave Seda's ashes to the sea, ignoring the tears that had resumed falling. He focused instead on the comforting thoughts in his head, Cemal's soft, pretty singing coming from a few paces behind. A moment later, Mahzan joined in, and Seda was given rest with more beauty and respect than he deserved. But Binhadi still hoped that it did give him rest.
When the last of the ashes were gone, he threw the box after them then turned and simply sat again, too tired to do anything else.
"This feels familiar," Cemal said, sitting next to him. "A good deal less traumatic, but familiar all the same."
Mahzan grimaced where he stood next to Sule, who had the helm. "I wish the plan was to keep going, not yet again go venturing off to slay a royal."
"Agreed," Binhadi said.
They lapsed into silence then, and remained so until they reached shore.
Cemal broke it as they walked back to their cottage. "This explains the healer, I think. Maybe."
Binhadi frowned. "The heal—" He stopped, closed his eyes, and felt stupid all over again. The royal healer they'd found in the woods on the way to the Broken Monastery. He'd been focused on so many other things…
"He must have been forced into helping Yavuz, or perhaps went along willingly until too late, and Yavuz killed or had him killed on the way to the monastery," Mahzan said. "But this means he needed another healer. That's one of the reasons we haven't seen the fearmonger again—finding a healer is no easy task, even less one strong and capable enough to keep the others in the Oath alive while they control the fearmonger. It's probably why we've only seen that smaller one. But they'll be able to manage the big one again before much longer. Damn it."
Sule grunted. "I'm more concerned with how we're getting home. We don't have time to spend several more months traveling."
"I can fly us, as long as I have time to rest," Cemal said. "I may not be able to take us the whole way, but I can definitely do part if we take it slowly."
"It's better than riding for months," Binhadi replied. "We'll try it your way. Let's pack up, see what we can do for supplies, and get moving while we still have a whole day ahead of us—
and before Yavuz brings his greater fearmonger to bear."
Sule's mouth tightened. "I'm going to remove that bastard's head."
"Not if I get there first," Cemal muttered.
Mahzan snorted. "Like either of you could beat me to it."
Binhadi left them to their bickering, slipping inside the cottage as they reached it to pack the bedrolls and disperse their remaining foodstuffs amongst the four sets of saddlebags and the packs to be carried by their spare horse.
Horses they'd have to leave behind when they went flying with Cemal, but he would make certain someone took them back to Eser, along with a lengthy letter about all that had transpired.
And if he kept focusing on the mundane things, Seda's death and his own white hot anger regarding Yavuz would not get the better of him. The lying, scheming, traitorous bastard. After all Binhadi had done, after all he'd sacrificed, because he had believed Yavuz to be a good king—
"Stop," Sule said, catching Binhadi's arms and forcing him to hold still. "Stop dwelling. Stop punishing yourself for things that are not your fault. Myself, I wonder how much of your family tradition of betrayal was all actually being betrayed."
"I'm starting to wonder that myself," Binhadi said quietly. "But it doesn't really matter now. What matters is that I have been betrayed for the last time. I hope, anyway." He closed his eyes. "You will betray two kings. Twice will you be betrayed by kings. That's what Eser saw for me a long time ago. I can't even tell anymore what numbers the betrayals stand at, how pathetic is that?"
Mahzan's derisive snort washed through their minds. You were betrayed by the late king with all the lies he spun and the burden he unfairly placed on you. You betrayed him when you helped Yavuz take the throne instead of taking it yourself. Yavuz lied to you. You're going to kill him. Two and two. What does it matter?