by Roy Glenn
“He rolled up on me today, wanted to know what I was into. Had a nine in his lap,” Travis told them.
“You think he was gonna kill you?” Jackie asked.
“If he thought I was talkin’ to the cops, yes. He would’ve shot me twice in the head and had his upholstery cleaned.”
“Damn, Travis, I’m sorry,” Jackie said again.
“When did you have time to see Freeze anyway?” Ronnie asked. “I thought you was at the hospital all day with what’s her face.”
“I called him to ask about this cop name Kirkland. He’s the cop investigating Me’shelle brother’s murder. He came to the hospital.”
“What you want to know about a cop for?” Ronnie asked.
“He said I looked familiar to him. So I asked Freeze about him.”
“What! A cop said you look familiar?” Ronnie shouted.
“Shit! This is not good. Do you think he recognized you from the parking lot film?” Jackie asked.
“I don’t think so. Freeze said he’s a homicide cop. He doesn’t think he’d be interested in us.”
“Fuck what that nigga think. Fuckin’ Freeze don’t know every fuckin’ thing,” Ronnie said. “You got to pull away from this woman, Travis.”
“Why?”
“If the cops are investigating her brother’s murder, they gonna start lookin’ at everyone around him. That includes his sister, and if you’re hangin’ around her, that means you too.”
“He’s right, Travis. You’ve got to leave her alone before this shit goes any further,” Jackie added.
“I can’t do that,” Travis said and dropped his head.
“Do you love her?” Ronnie asked.
“Yes.”
Jackie bounced up from the couch and left the room. Travis and Ronnie watched her storm into the kitchen then looked at one another.
“What’s up with that?” Travis asked.
“I don’t know, and right now, Travis, I really don’t give a fuck. Travis, listen to me. Whether you love her or not, you have got to let her go. I mean back all the way up off her. You already got that nigga Freeze trippin’ on you about the cops, and if they start lookin’ at you, they start lookin’ at us, and that ain’t good, Travis.”
Travis sat quietly.
“Do you hear what I’m sayin’?” Ronnie yelled.
“Yeah, Ronnie, I hear you and I know you’re right.”
“Damn right, I am. If the cops get onto you, they have the manpower and the resources to get you, and if Freeze thinks it will lead to him, he’ll kill you, me and Jackie.”
“I’ll back up off her.”
“Don’t fuck around on this one, Travis. I’m serious.”
“Okay, Ron. Shit. I said I’d back up off her. At least until things quiet down on her brother’s murder,” Travis said.
“No, Travis, you really ain’t hearin’ me. How you know when things quiet down? Huh?”
Again Travis sat quietly.
“That’s what I thought. And even without the cops fuckin’ with you, you still got Freeze to deal with. So, I’m tellin’ you that you are going to leave her alone.”
“Who are you to tell me what I gotta do?” Travis asked angrily.
“I’m your best fuckin’ friend, Travis, that’s who I am. And I’m the one who’ll go down right along with you if it comes to that. Now, I don’t wanna go to jail, and I damn sure don’t want Freeze to kill me.”
“You think I do?” Travis asked.
“No, I don’t think you do, and I know Jackie don’t either. So, what I’m tellin’ you is to think about whether you being in love with this woman is worth riskin’ any of that. I know that it’s not.”
“It’s not, Ronnie. I know that. But it ain’t easy.”
“Yes it is, Travis. Us stayin’ alive and not gettin' caught, that’s what hard,” Ronnie told Travis in a sober tone. “I’m glad we got that settled. And I’m glad to know that you didn’t lose your nerve. And I’m sorry for thinking it. Who knew that all the time you were just pussy whipped?” Ronnie said and sat down.
“Yeah, who knew?” But Travis knew what the truth was, and now was the time to tell him. “Maybe I have lost my nerve, Ron.”
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“I’ve been thinking about making this my last job.”
“Because of this?”
“No. I’ve been thinking about for a while now. Ever since the jewelry store job. But now with all this happenin’ with the cops and Freeze-I don’t know.”
“I do.” Ronnie yawned and stood up. “You’re just trippin’ about Freeze with a nine in his lap, and I’m too tired to argue with you about it. Now you can go in there and see what Jackie’s trippin’ about.”
Travis went into the kitchen and found Jackie sitting at the table, drinking Hennessey. He got a glass and joined her. “So, what’s up?” he asked as Jackie filled his glass.
“Nothing. I’m just being stupid.”
“So, tell me what’s up anyway.”
“No. You’re gonna think I’m being stupid.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Because I am.”
“What’s up, Jackie?”
“I’m jealous.”
“Jealous? Jealous of what?”
“You’re in love with another woman, Travis, and I’m jealous ’cause it’s not me. Sounds pretty stupid coming from me, right?”
“I don’t get it, Jackie.”
“I don’t get it either. And that’s what so stupid about it.” She drained her glass and poured another. “I guess I’ve gotten comfortable with the idea of you being my man.”
“You lost me.”
“Travis, you’ve been my man for years. Every time I needed to show up someplace with a man, it’s always been you. Prom, college parties, office parties, family gatherings, whatever. It’s always been you. Shit, my parents still wanna know when we’re getting married. Don’t ask me why, but somewhere in the back of my mind I thought-” Jackie paused, “I don’t know what I was thinking. Stupid, right?”
“Damn, Jackie. I never knew you felt like that.”
“Neither did I. Not until I heard you say you loved her. You’ve never taken a woman seriously.” Jackie laughed. “Neither have I. But to hear you say that you’re in love with her, that just caught me off guard. But I’m cool.”
They sat quietly at the table looking at one another. Jackie smiled at him as Ronnie came into the kitchen. “You two kids got your shit worked out yet?” Ronnie asked as he poured himself a glass of Henny.
“I don’t know,” Travis said and turned to Jackie. “Do we, Jackie?”
“Like I said, I’m cool.”
“Good, ’cause we got a job to do in a couple days, and both of y’all need to have your minds right.”
Chapter Twenty-eight
A teary-eyed Me’shelle picked up the telephone once again and dialed Travis’s number. The last day and a half hadn’t been easy for her, but she got through it. With help and support from her aunts, she went to the morgue to identify Bruce and Natalie’s bodies and made arrangements for their funeral. Natalie’s family hadn’t had anything to do with her in years, so when Me’shelle called them, her father’s only response was, “Let me know where you bury her.”
After taking care of that painful business, Me’shelle stopped by the hospital and sat with Brandy. While she was there, Detective Richards came to question Brandy, but she was still in shock. She acknowledged their presence in the room with her eyes, but never spoke. When he asked Brandy if she understood that her parents were dead, she just stared at Me’shelle and tears flowed from her eyes.
After the police left, Me’shelle told Brandy about her day and the arrangements she’d made for her parents. Then she read an article from Vibe out loud for Brandy before visiting hours ended and she had to leave.
Through it all, Me’shelle had been calling Travis both at his house and his cell phone. His cell was off, so the calls went str
aight to voicemail. He hadn’t answered the house phone. She had left several messages and Travis hadn’t chosen, up to this point, to call her back.
Travis sat next to the phone, as he had been for the past day and a half. He would see her name come up on caller ID each time, and let it go to voicemail. Then he would sit and listen to her message. He could hear the longing in her voice and could feel the pain. He felt tortured, caught between his loyalty to Ronnie and Jackie and what he felt for me Me’shelle. Travis felt like he was doing the right thing, but why did it feel so wrong?
“Please call me, Travis. I really need to talk to you, to hear your voice. I love you, Travis, and I miss you so much,” Me’shelle said and hung up the phone.
“I miss talking to you, Me’shelle. But I can’t,” he said out loud.
She had never said she loved him before, and hearing it now had an effect on him. A single tear rolled down his cheek. “I love you so much, Me’shelle, but I can’t.”
Travis sat and wondered why he was putting himself through this. It was bad enough that he couldn’t or at most wasn’t going to talk to her, but why did he have to sit there and listen to her tear-filled messages? He could have just as easily left the house, left town, gone to Connecticut. At the very least, he could have turned off the answering machine.
He wanted to feel this pain, but he was growing weary of it.
Twenty minutes later, the phone rang again. Once again, it was Me’shelle. No longer willing to deliver or endure any more pain, he answered. “Hello, Me’shelle,” Travis said softly.
“I’m so glad you answered. Where have you been? I’ve been calling you. Didn’t you get any of my messages?”
For a fraction of a second, Travis thought about telling her that he wasn’t going to see her again and why. “I had to go out of town for a minute. I just got back and listened to all of your messages. I miss talking to you, Me’shelle.”
“I’ve missed talking to you so much these last couple of days. I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you. How are you holding up?”
“Not good, but I’m still standing.”
“How’s Brandy?”
“I just came home from seeing her. She looked at me when I came in the room and she squeezed my hand a couple of times while I read to her, but she’s still not talking. But the hardest thing about this is my brother. I never mentioned this to you, but my brother came to me and asked me for money and I told him no.” Me’shelle started to cry. “He said they were going to kill him. If I had only got the money for him, none of this would have happened.”
“Me’shelle, you can’t blame yourself for what happened.”
“I know that I shouldn’t, Travis, but it’s one of the last things he said to me that’s really fuckin’ with me.”
“What did he say to you?”
“He said, ‘How you gonna live with yourself when I’m dead?’ ”
“Damn. That’s some fucked up shit to say to somebody.”
“Ain’t it, though?”
“I’m sayin’, but he probably wasn’t expecting to get popped when he said it. Even though they know it’s a possibility that it could happen, nobody expects to die. He just said that so you would feel sorry for him and give him the money.”
“I know that, but it still bothers me.”
“Do you know who he owed the money to?”
“Not really. He used to deal with some guy who calls himself Chilly. And the only reason I say that is because it’s the only name I ever heard him say. It might be him, it might not. To be honest with you, I have no idea. I’d been giving him money to support his habit and get people off his back for years. But the one time that I tell him no, he gets killed.”
“You can’t do this to yourself, Me’shelle. You don’t even know if that’s what he got killed over. And even if it was, that’s how he chose to live his life. You are not responsible for anybody’s choices but your own.”
“I know, I know. We’ve had this conversation before, but I still feel the way I feel, and I can only hope that over time I get to the point where I can deal with it a little better.”
“I hope so.”
“The funeral is the day after tomorrow. Will you come? I need you to be there for me.”
Travis wanted to make some excuse for why he couldn’t be there. He knew the best thing for him to do was stay away from her as long as it took for the investigation into her brother’s murder to play itself out. “I’ll be there for you, Me’shelle.”
“I want to see you.”
“I wanna see you.”
“I love you, Travis.”
“Yeah, I know. I got your message. I gotta say it felt so good to hear you say it, since I’ve been in love with you since the first time I saw you. But still, I gotta ask. Are you sayin’ it because of what’s going on with you?”
“No, it’s not that. And I’m sorry that it took all this to get me to say it out loud. But do I love you, Travis. I love everything about you. I love the way you talk to me. I love the way you make me feel. I am so into the way we are together. I feel like you are so much a part of me now. These last couple of days without you have been so hard for me. I love you, Travis. So please, don’t think it’s only because of this.”
“Okay.”
“And besides, you never told me that you loved me.”
“Not in words, Me’shelle. But you know everything about me screams I love you.”
“I know, so stop all this talk. I need you now.”
“I’m on my way.”
“No. This place reminds me too much of Bruce and that night. I’m coming over there.”
“I’ll see you when you get here.”
Chapter Twenty-nine
Funeral services for Bruce and Natalie Lawrence were a small family affair. Nobody from Natalie’s family bothered to show up. Her parents, a deeply religious couple, had disowned her years ago because of the life of drugs and prostitution she had chosen for herself. They were, however, very concerned about Brandy. The doctor thought that in her still very unstable condition, attending her parents’ funeral might be too much for her. So, the attendees were Me’shelle and Travis, along with her aunts, Miranda and Juanita.
There were two other guests who came late to the funeral: Detectives Kirkland and Richards. The sight of them made Travis’s blood run cold. They sat in the back of the church and waited until Pastor Franks completed his eulogy, then waited outside for Me’shelle.
“Ms. Lawrence,” Detective Kirkland said. “I’m really sorry to have to bother you at a time like this. I’ve left several messages for you, but you haven’t returned my calls.”
“I’ve been staying with my aunts these last few days,” Me’shelle said tearfully to the detectives as her aunts gathered around to support her.
“Young man,” Juanita began. “I don’t mean you any disrespect, and I know you got a job to do, but as you can imagine-”
“Maybe he can’t,” Miranda interrupted with much attitude.
“Miranda,” Juanita said quickly, cutting her eyes at her sister. “Detective Kirkland, these last few days have been very hard on my niece and our family.”
“I understand that, but I really do need for her to come in and talk with us.”
“And I’m quite sure that she will, but today, young man, I’ll thank you to show our family some respect and allow us to bury our dead in peace,” Juanita said and walked away. The family followed her lead and went straight to the limousine. Travis fought the urge to give him the finger. Pastor Franks did, however, wave a chastising finger at the detectives as he joined the family in the limousine.
After the funeral, Travis kept his word to Freeze and brought Me’shelle to Cuisine for dinner. Although Freeze had mentioned it, Travis was surprised at how much the atmosphere had changed since the last time he was there. Freeze had moved quickly and returned to supper club to its former stature as a place of fine dining and intimate atm
osphere.
“Travis Burns. I have a reservation for two.”
“Good evening, Mr. Burns. Welcome back to Cuisine,” the hostess said. “If you and your guest will please follow me, I have an excellent table waiting for you.” She grabbed two menus. Travis and Me’shelle followed the hostess to their table and found a waitress waiting.
“Good evening, Mr. Burns. Welcome back to Cuisine,” the waitress said. “We’re glad to have you dining with us again,” she said as she held the chair for Me’shelle. “My name is Bianca, and I will be your sever this evening. Would you like something from the bar?”
Travis looked at Me’shelle. “Just some wine, maybe.”
“Would you like to see our wine list?” she asked Me’shelle.
“Yes, thank you.”
“I’ll be back with our wine list. But before I go, let me just mention that today’s special is grilled Tilapia with a white wine sauce.” The waitress departed.
“Well, Mr. Burns, I take it you’ve been here quite a bit,” Me’shelle said as she looked over the menu.
“Yes. Do you remember me mentioning a friend of mine named Freeze?”
“The very dangerous one. I remember.”
“He runs this place. But it’s changed a lot since I was last here.”
“How so?”
“That reception, for starters. You didn’t need reservations before. And it was never this crowded so early in the day. It’s a more upscale atmosphere now,” Travis explained as their waitress returned with the wine list, accompanied by another server carrying a bottle of champagne and a bucket of ice.
“Dom Perignon, 1982, compliments of the management,” the server said as she prepared to pour. “Mr. Burns, Freeze asked me to tell you and your guest to enjoy your meal. He will join you once you’ve finished,” the waitress said after she handed Me’shelle the wine list. “Take your time. Look over both the menu and the wine list, and I’ll be back to take your order.”
Travis and Me’shelle enjoyed their meal, and as promised, Freeze joined them afterwards for cocktails and conversation. Travis looked up and couldn’t believe what he saw coming toward him: Freeze wearing a suit.