“I need a drink. Scratch that. I need several drinks.” I wanted a drink like I had never wanted one before.
April swung me around, and hands on my shoulders, marched me across the room to the tables, flagged down a waitress, and ordered us two boilermakers.
I eyed the alcohol. “I don’t think I can drink whiskey straight up, and I hate beer.”
She slid a shot glass toward me. “You want to get effed up? This’ll do it.”
People said I was like my father, and if he found relief at the bottom of a bottle, maybe I would, too. It was the most screwed-up advice I’d ever given myself, but at that moment, it sounded sage. And so simple. I was over being compliant and principled. Over being mature. It was highly overrated. The Mad Monkey was exactly the right place to let it slide. I’d finally fit right in. I opened my mouth and threw it back. The shot lit my throat on fire, and with eyes watering, I gagged.
April laughed and pushed the foaming mug of beer at me. “Take a few sips of your beer before you do the second shot.”
“I thought that one was for you.”
She showed me her wine glass. “Rule of thumb, one never mixes alcohol.”
The second went down a little easier, maybe because I knew what to expect, but as soon as I finished a few more sips of beer, April grabbed my hand.
“Now we dance to get that alcohol moving through your body,” she said, pulling me to my feet, but she stopped dead. “Mother of God. Mr. Sensible Shoes just walked in.”
“Andrew?” On a heat-seeking mission, my eyes sought him out. Dressed in business slacks and shirt, a blue striped tie hanging loosely around his neck; Andrew drew looks from several girls as he passed. I waved, and he made his way to me, his smile not unkind. I felt such a relief, that when he was close enough, I grabbed his arms and kissed him. I was shooting for his mouth but lost my nerve. My kiss landed on the space between his lips and jaw, lingering a little too long for friendly and too short for romantic. An altogether awkward kiss and not in the least bit sexy.
Andrew put an arm around me to steady my wobbly legs and laughed good-naturedly.
“Well, hello to you, too.” Andrew’s charming tone made me glance up at him guiltily. He looked tired. He’d been in Boston all week with back-to-back meetings and had still managed to call me several times. Not that I’d answered or returned any of his calls.
“I’d like to talk to you. Can we go outside?”
I looked over my shoulder at the stage. It was instinctive. I tightened my lips and turned back to Andrew, only to see his eyes were where mine had been. On Toby. His green gaze shifted back to me, altered with understanding.
With the nod of his head, he motioned toward the entrance, and I let him lead me outside, down the entrance ramp, and several feet past a nearly catatonic group sucking their lungs full of cigarette smoke.
Andrew stopped, his eyes traveling the length of me. “You remind me of an old Cyndi Lauper album cover. That outfit would be ridiculous on anyone else, but you’re so beautiful. You make it look good.” His fingers brushed the skin of my upper arm causing me to inhale sharply. “You wrote in your note that you needed time to think. Make any progress with that?”
I twisted a handful of fake pearls in my hand. “I’ve decided that you can’t go backwards.”
“A hard lesson to learn. Are you finally done here, or is there something else you feel you missed out on? He motioned to the Mad Monkey. “My gut tells me that you being here isn’t a coincidence, and if that’s the case, I need to tell you something. Remember at the party on the beach when Toby said he knew my cousin Jackie Hart?”
“Yes, your cousin who passed away.”
“She committed suicide.”
Not a car accident. Not cancer or a life-stealing disease… but suicide.
I put a hand over my heart. “I’m so sorry, Andrew.”
“It was an overdose,” he said. “My aunt, also Jackie, had left her husband because he was abusive. For a while, things were looking up for them. They moved out, and my aunt started her own window covering business. She was successful enough to hire someone to help her part-time. That someone was Toby.”
“Toby told me about working for her. He worked afterschool, building window covering frames for her.”
Andrew nodded. “That’s how Toby came to know my cousin. Did he ever tell you about her?”
I shook my head.
“Strange since the two of them dated. Perhaps you know her by her nickname, Lacie?”
My breath puffed out in a short, startled gasp.
“I talked to my aunt recently, and I was telling her about the people I’d met here. When I mentioned Toby, my aunt was particularly interested in hearing about him. She told me Lacie had very strong feelings for Toby. Aunt Jackie had gotten to know Toby from working with him and worried he wasn’t the right kind of boy for my cousin. She tried to squash it, repeatedly demanding Toby stop seeing Lacie.”
“And did he?”
“No. Eventually my cousin and Toby had a fight, and she became very distraught. She became addicted to Oxycodone, and two months later, she overdosed. Toby was the last one to see her before she died.”
My heart lagged painfully in my chest. I hadn’t thought it possible that anything left in Toby’s past that could rape my sensibilities like this.
“Hey,” he whispered, raising a hand to my cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m not telling you this so I come off looking like the better guy.”
I pulled his hand away from my face. “Then why tell me?”
“You’re looking back for something that might not be there. Knowing the truth might help you decide and move on.”
I folded my arms in an attempt to appear composed and said, “Thank you,” because it seemed like an appropriate response to such a statement.
“Claudia, we respect and enjoy each other’s company, and we both know there could be more. I’m hoping you decide to come to Boston so we can build on those feelings. I believe it will be worthwhile, but I’m not going to chase you.” He pressed a sweet, gentle kiss to my forehead. “Take your time and figure out what you want.”
Maybe it was the alcohol in my system, making my limbs warm and languid, or the news I’d just received that made me slightly numb, but as I watched Andrew walk away, I didn’t feel much of anything.
Back inside, April swirled on the dance floor with the other bridesmaids, and I silently cursed Andrew for diverting my energy from this outing to Lacie Hart. That girl was a hidden landmine, and Andrew had deliberately steered my steps to her. All in the jest of moving forward. If the truth was supposed to set you free, how come my heart was more tangled than ever?
What had Toby and Lacie fought about prior to her suicide? Why hadn’t Toby told me Andrew’s cousin was his Lacie? What did the omission mean?
I spotted Robby Pace entertaining a large group of people. I guess my gaze lingered on him a little too long because he followed me back to the bridal party’s booth.
“Hello, Robby,” I said.
He looked me over, eyes narrowed, obviously trying to recall my name.
“Claudia Chiametti,” I offered. “We used to go to school together.”
“Of course. Wow, I haven’t seen you since, what, middle school?”
“Yes. We had a few honors classes together.” I refreshed his memory, reserving the little tid-bit about the truth or dare game when my father tossed him out of our house.
“Honors, huh? That must have been back when school actually interested me. You mind?” He gestured to the empty bench across from me, sliding into it before I agreed. He appraised me with a long, drawn-out look, his eyes seeming to undress me, and it immediately came back to me why I didn’t like Robby. For the first time that night, I wanted to cover myself. “Claudia Chiametti, this is an honor. Let me buy you a drink.”
“No, thanks. I’m good.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glanced at the stage. Toby was watching us.
Robby lifted a hand an
d beckoned a waitress over.
“Bring me a Maker’s Mark on the rocks and another whatever she’s drinking.” The jerk ordered me a drink anyway. When the waitress left, he caught me regarding a long, narrow, crusty scar along the side of his face. “My mother’s cat doesn’t like me.”
“Must be a big cat,” I said.
With a smirk, he sat back and pointed a finger at me. “Ah, now I remember. Your dad’s a cop. Huge guy with hands as big as a bear’s, right?”
“Yes, I suppose his hands are large.” I nodded. The memory of that day was coming back to him.
The waitress came back, placing a whiskey in front of him and a shot glass and beer in front of me. R.J. was working the keyboard, the band playing a rendition of "Let’s go Crazy" as I sneaked a look toward the stage to find Toby’s attention still pinned to us.
Robby peered over his shoulder, following my gaze.
With a chuckle, he turned back to face me. “So, you and Faye, huh? You’re the second girl I’ve had in common with him,” he said.
“Apparently so. I know all about Lacie.”
The noise in the room exploded as Toby ripped through a guitar solo that sent the room into a frenzy of movement and screaming.
“The music’s too loud. Let me come over by you so we don’t have to yell.” He popped out of his seat and slid in next to me, forcing me to move further into the booth to accommodate him. “Lacie had a kind of unrealized beauty.” He swung an arm atop cushioned bench and settled in beside me. I angled away from him as far as I could. “You know that girl who hangs out with their band, the one with the big angel tattoo on her back?” He pointed to the bar area to the girl in question. “She reminds me of Lacie. Not so much that ink and the bitchy attitude, but the short black hair and the shape of her face.”
My memory was jogged—Toby’s school yearbook on the floor and the photos that had fallen out—the girl was Lacie.
“Leah,” I said, more as a confirmation than question.
“Leah,” he repeated, and when I turned my eyes away from her, he was looking at her, too. “If you know about Lacie, then you probably know about Jackie.”
“Jackie was a concerned mother, worried about the welfare of her sensitive daughter,” I said.
“Is that what the old boy told you?” Robby brought his face closer to mine. His cologne was overpowering and his closeness disconcerting. I inched away. “How about a scheming adulteress who didn’t want to share her boy toy with her daughter?”
My head spun. “What exactly are you insinuating, Robby?”
“Lacie’s mom and Toby were hooking up for some afternoon nookie. Lacie came to me, looking for a pair of consoling arms. Poor girl was messed up from her father to begin with. How do you think she felt when she found out the guy she loved not only had a piece of ass on the side, but that ass was her mother? It’s no wonder she lost her shit and offed herself.”
Blood rushed to my face, hot and churned up. “You should be ashamed of yourself for spreading such horrible gossip.”
“I speak the truth and nothing but the truth,” Rob said, raising a hand as if he were swearing in at a court proceeding. “Besides, what would I get out of lying about it? Lacie told me everything. There was some rumble about a pregnancy, too,” he added, the final twist of the knife.
I swallowed, but the saliva in my mouth turned to vinegar in my throat, bitter and burning and threatened to defy gravity and bring everything I’d had to drink back up with it.
“He didn’t have the balls to reveal this dark, dirty secret to you, did he?”
The music ended, and the dull hum of the crowd rose to blanket my ears like scratchy wool. Dan began making final, closing announcements, thanking the crowd and telling them where to find the group online.
April and Marla, arm in arm, approached the table. April seemed unaware of the tension, but Marla’s gaze slid from Robby to me and back again. “Is everything alright?” she asked.
“Ready to go?” I asked. “I’ve had enough.”
“Oh, stay,” Robby’s voice softened, an arm crept around my shoulders. His fingers stroked my skin in a fashion I expected he thought would console me, and he whistled for the waitress nearby. “We have a DJ setting up to play more Eighties tunes. I’ll get the waitress to bring your group a round on the house.”
My anger erupted, and I elbowed his arm away. “Don’t ever touch me without my permission.”
Toby’s shadow engulfed the table. Leaning in heavily on the edge, his eyes hard. “Get out of the booth, Pace.”
“I don’t take orders from the hired help, Faye. Go finish cleaning up that stage, and mind your own business,” Robby rebuffed haughtily. “Claudia and I are catching up.”
Toby looked to me, and I shook my head. “I have nothing left to say, Robby.”
With that, Toby leaned lower, his dark, steely eyes level with Robby’s face, his tone low and menacing. “You don’t want to fuck with me, Pace. I don’t scratch like the unwilling girls you try to pick up. I will hurt you. Get out of the seat before I drag you out.”
Toby stepped back giving Robby room to stand. Robby stood but turned back, a cruel calculated smile on his lips. “Hey, mo-fo, bet Claudia’s mom is a real looker. You hitting that yet?”
Toby fisted a handful of Robby’s shirt, his face contorted with rage. I scrambled from the bench to intervene. Between them now, I felt the animosity—heavy breaths, waning restraint—ready to rip into each other.
“I won’t be used as an excuse for you two to settle some high school vendetta.” I twisted to face Toby, my hand on his chest to hold him back, but his eyes stayed pinned on Robby. “Toby, let it go. He’s baiting you. Your contract is done. You’re free to leave.”
His glare left Robby, slowly, the glower softening as he turned to me. With what I knew took him a great deal of effort, he released his hold on nightclub’s owner.
Robby smoothed out his crumpled shirt and patted a hand over his hair. “We still seem to have similar tastes in women, but I never liked your sloppy seconds. Besides, based on my prior experience with Claudia, I’ve never met a more frigid, leg-locked bitch.”
I spun around, my mouth open, but I did not have words.
A whoosh of air flew close to my ear—Toby’s right fist. It connected with a crunch between Robby’s nose and eye and sent him stumbling backwards. Swearing, Robby lunged forward, knocking me aside. I cringed anticipating the violent sound of another blow, but Toby intercepted Robby’s fist, throwing him off balance, and immediately took the opportunity to swing a left cross, hammering his target. Like a puppet suspended from strings, Robby stood motionless for a moment, his face blank before his knees buckled and our old classmate dropped to the floor. Still that wasn’t enough for Toby. He lurched forward and hit Pace again. It took two guys to pull Toby off of him. The fight caused an outbreak of activity around us, and we became a vortex, all the people, noise and energy spinning around us.
Someone helped Robby to his feet, but he fought off their assistance, muttering curses. “Faye, you have two minutes to get your motherfucking sorry ass out of here before I call the police.” He wiped a splatter of blood from under his nose. “Make sure you take a good look around on your way out because this is the last time you’ll ever step foot in my place again.”
Toby looked at me, but one of the Monkey’s beefy bouncers muscled his way to stand in front of him. “Sorry, T, man, you gotta leave.”
Toby aimed one final hard glare at Robby and marched off, the bouncer following him out. I watched his receding back until Marla buzzed by me to grab our group’s coats and jackets from the booth. “Gotta give him credit. That boy always knows how to make an exit.”
I pulled my coat on and turned to find Robby’s guarded eyes fixed on me.
I hooked April’s arm, and we left.
The black stretch limousine we rented for the bachelorette night was waiting outside the exit. Our driver stood beside the open rear door, and one by one, th
e girls piled in. The night had ended on a wave of excitement, confirmed by the quarry of energetic chatter spilling out from the interior of the vehicle.
Toby stood nearby, waiting for me. April gave my arm a squeeze and climbed in the limo, leaving us alone.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes.” I rubbed the chill from my arms and looked up at him. “Is it true about Jackie?” I let the name hang there. Panic rose in his eyes. He clenched and unclenched his fingers, fidgeting. “Did you sleep with both Lacie and her mother?”
His eyes narrowed. “Is that what that fucker told you?”
“Pace is an arrogant asshole, and what he said matters very little to me. It’s your word I’ll believe. Tell me it isn’t true,” I said.
He blew an irritated breath into the night air, giving the rumor neither merit nor denying it. If the rumors were untrue, it would have been characteristic for him to vent—such slander would’ve coaxed that effusive temper that surged like blood through his veins.
Instead, he held back.
His lack of response left me bereft. Lips I’d kissed hundreds of times and eyes I’d gazed into thousands of times held unfathomable secrets from me.
“Is it true then that Jackie was pregnant with your baby?” My stomach swirled off balance.
“I should’ve killed Pace when I had the chance.” His voice was low and tight, the veins in his neck bulging out under the taut skin.
“I tried to defend you, but I can’t if I don’t know the truth.” I wrung my hands.
His face contorted, and he looked at me with distain. “I don’t need you to defend me. You think I give a rat’s ass what Pace or anyone says about me?” Something shuttered in his eyes, closing him away from me. “You and me, we’ve always been a mistake. Go to Boston. Go be with Berger where you belong.”
Like watching someone else’s life falling into the fray, I stared vacuously as Toby walked away. A glacial cold, so painful in its penetration, swept through me. Its icy fingers expanded through my limbs and hardened around my heart. My knees went weak, and I choked back a sob just as April poked her head out. She tugged my hand, and I dropped into the limo, feeling like the dark interior was an endless black hole I’d plummeted down into.
Keeping Claudia (Toby & Claudia Book 2) Page 35