She continued thinking. She wanted more. She wanted it all. She wanted to write about it. Organize it. Use the letters and interview people and gather data and write a book.
Her heart was racing as she realized exactly what she needed to so.
Write the story of Marge’s life.
Could she to it? Write a book?
Chapter 18
Caleb had never been more nervous in his life as he was when he stepped into Marge’s house later that evening. He had knocked, but no one had answered. The door was unlocked, so he let himself in. No lights were on, but he knew in a second that Elena was in the room. Besides, his vision was phenomenal in the dark, so his eyes adjusted immediately.
His mate was curled up in the corner of the couch, hands tucked under her cheek where she rested her head on the arm of the sofa. She was sound asleep, and she looked so peaceful. Her expression didn’t hold the furrowed brow of someone who’d nodded off angry or crying.
His precious mate was so gorgeous. For several moments, he simply stood there soaking her in, wondering how she would react when she realized he was there.
Letting her walk out of his house earlier had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. He hadn’t had a choice. She would have been even more pissed if he’d begged her to stay or continued to try to argue his side.
The truth was his side kind of sucked. He’d been wrong to keep her ancestry from her. She had a right to know what came to him instinctively. He’d been desperate to convince her to stay with him. So desperate that he’d put his own concerns above hers.
Of course she was angry. When did he plan on telling her she was half shifter? That was pretty important information. The truth was Caleb hadn’t been sure how much she could handle at once, and he’d decided the fact that she was his mate was more important than the fact that she was half shifter. Convincing her she was his took precedence because it was what he valued.
The urgency he felt to claim her and get her to see his side had controlled him. There was a large lump in his throat as he made his way quietly toward her. He didn’t want to scare her to death, and he couldn’t know what her frame of mind was now that she’d been away from him for several hours.
There had been no way he could have simply gone to bed and left her alone. After last night, he never wanted to sleep alone again. He wouldn’t be able to rest without her in his arms. No matter what the circumstances. That much was paramount.
After staring down at her for longer than he should have risked, he finally kneeled at her side and set a hand gently on her back. “Elena… Baby…”
She flinched and then gasped, her head twisting his direction, eyes going wide. “Jesus. You scared me.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know how else to rouse you. You were so out of it you didn’t hear the door.” He slid his hand from her back to her cheek, finally relaxing marginally when he made the skin on skin contact.
She did too, for about a second. And then she wrapped her fingers around his wrist and tugged his hand away as she scooted to sitting.
His heart ached, but he pulled his arm back and used both hands on his knees to push to standing. He didn’t give her much space though, just a few inches. He knew she didn’t want him to touch her. That much was clear.
“What time is it?”
“Eight. Have you eaten?”
She chuckled sardonically. “You’re worried about my caloric intake?”
He was treading on thin ice here. Nervous as fuck. “Well, I know you didn’t have lunch at my place, and I can’t smell evidence of cooking, and judging by the pile of open albums, I’m going to assume you spent every last second of daylight looking at pictures.”
She sighed as she rose to her feet and padded away from him. It was only a few feet, but he hated it all the same. Her hair was a sexy mess of curls that hung down her back. One sleeve of her tank top had slid over her shoulder to reveal her bra strap.
She ignored his question. “You should have told me,” she stated.
“You’re right. It was a horrible choice on my part.”
“And what about Hunter? Did you talk to him? Has he told Layla?”
Caleb shook his head. “I don’t know if he’s told her yet.”
“Well, neither of you opened with that information while flirting with us at the bar.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I couldn’t think of a way to tell you, and I wasn’t about to say a word in public, and then I quickly realized you didn’t know on your own.”
“But mostly you were just thinking of yourself and how it would affect you if you told me.”
“Yes.” He wasn’t about to lie to her. Not a good way to start off their lives. He needed to grab his tail, tuck it between his legs, and fess up.
Her shoulders sagged, and she started pacing slowly back and forth. It was dark in the room. The only light came in through the windows. The curtains were still open. He suspected she had better-than-average night vision too.
Finally, she stopped and stared at him. “I’m starting to grasp the magnitude of this situation. It’s not like I can simply brush you off and leave town. Apparently my mother did that. And in a way her mother before her. I won’t be my mother or my grandmother. Someone needs to break the pattern.”
He nodded subtly, not interrupting her, sensing she was not finished.
“How do shifters keep this weird chemistry from being used as an excuse for just about anything? What keeps either party from lying or cheating or any number of things if just touching the other party somehow makes it all go away? It doesn’t seem like I can hold on to a good mad if all you have to do is touch me to make me forget why I was angry in the first place.”
“For one thing, it’s not quite that simple. Yes, you’re right about the touching thing, though I don’t think it will be as effective over time, but it’s not erasing your memory. When I fuck up, you’ll still be able to hold a grudge like any full human would. I can’t make you permanently less angry. Just temporarily.”
“Long enough to get whatever you want,” she stated.
“Okay. Now you’re presuming I’m an asshole who would use my secret powers to persuade you to do things you don’t want to do.”
She sighed as she rubbed her temples with her thumb and middle finger. “I never said you were an asshole, but I don’t want to be manipulated by you. I need to feel like I have free will.”
“I get that. It’s understandable.” He set his palms on his thighs and leaned back. “Elena, I’m desperate here. Like a man without water. Every fiber of my being wants to claim you as my own. It’s such a strong feeling. And I know you feel it on a certain level too.”
She nodded. Progress. “Of course I do. You don’t even have to ask. You made it clear you could smell it on me.”
“When I first spotted you, I immediately knew I had several hurdles. One was figuring out what you knew about shifters. One was telling you that you had shifter blood in you. One was convincing you to stay in town. And one was claiming you. I had to juggle those hurdles. Pick which ones were urgent.”
“So you chose claiming me as the priority,” she stated matter-of-factly.
“I didn’t mean for it to be at the exclusion of all else, baby. You might have noticed I’ve held back the most important part.”
“Sex.”
“Yes.”
“You don’t get a trophy for not having sex with me, Caleb.” If he wasn’t mistaken, she was smirking. The tension in the air eased just a bit.
“Maybe just a small one?” he teased lightly.
She rolled her eyes. Score. “You’re going to need to polish it. It’s not very sparkly.”
He laughed. It felt good. Her fury was subsiding. “Elena, I’m going to make mistakes. I’m not perfect. This one was huge. Inexcusable. But I promise I will always say I’m sorry when I’m wrong. I will listen to you when you have a grievance. And then I will try harder to be worthy of your love.”
She shuddered. “Lo
ve is a super strong word for two people who met forty-eight hours ago.”
“It is, but I still feel it. It’s powerful and consuming.”
“You’re relentless.”
“When it comes to you, yes. I need you, baby. I need you to see that.”
She slowly turned to the side and lowered herself onto the arm chair. She tipped her head down to her lap and fidgeted her fingers. “I want to write a book.”
He furrowed his brow. That was so out of left field. “Okay,” he murmured.
She jerked her gaze up. “I mean it. About Marge’s life. I want to read every one of those letters, get to know her, find answers to my questions, talk to Josiah’s relatives. I want to write a book about it.”
“A novel? Like a love story?”
“Sort of, but maybe more of a tragedy. I mean so many things happened to her that were so sad. I don’t think it was a love story.”
“Oh, baby, you’re wrong. Marge’s life is a love story. She loved Josiah fiercely. So fiercely that she gave up everything to have him. She even gave up you.”
Elena smiled for the first time since he’d arrived. “Huh. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I guess you might be right.”
“Everyone in town knew Marge. You can interview any of them. Ask around. They will tell you about a woman who had the best life imaginable because she had the love of her life, and she knew it. She considered herself lucky.”
Elena kept nodding slowly.
“Sure, there was strife. Losses. But you’ve only seen the sad side of the story. Trust me. Marge was an amazing woman who lived life to the fullest with what she was dealt. And I don’t doubt she missed her family greatly, but Josiah was worth it. That’s what a mating is all about. She was the strongest woman I know.” He watched her staring at him as she soaked in what he was saying.
Her smile spread wider. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I needed to hear that. Of course I’m not even sure I’m a good writer. I’ve sold only a few articles. Maybe I suck.”
Caleb shook his head. “You’re a great writer.”
She cocked her head to one side. “How would you know?”
“I googled you. Read everything I could find. Especially loved your piece on the homeless in Chicago.”
Her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped open. “You looked me up?”
“Is that so hard to believe? Of course I did. You’re important to me.”
“That’s so…sweet.”
He let her sit with her thoughts for a long time. Finally, she spoke again. “Do you think my father lives here in Canyon Springs and is still alive?”
“It’s possible. I don’t know.”
“But everyone in this town seems to know everything. Wouldn’t someone know?”
He drew in a breath. “That’s the thing. Everyone knows everything, so why haven’t I ever heard about a man who impregnated a woman who left town and never came back?”
“True.”
“Granted, I was only six when you were born, but that would have been the talk of the town. That’s the type of rumor that would have spread through the decades.”
“Part of me is angry at him for letting my mother leave. For not being there for me. For not protecting me. But then I have to consider the possibility that my mother might have been stubborn like her mother and exercised that free will. Maybe she didn’t give him a choice and just left. Maybe he didn’t know my mother was pregnant. Maybe she didn’t even know.”
“True. I bet if you read more of the letters you can find out more about that summer, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up about finding your father. If Marge didn’t know, and no one else seems to have known, then I’m inclined to think that whoever he is, he never told a soul himself. He must have had his reasons. Maybe he wouldn’t admit it even today. Maybe he was married to another woman or had obligations. Just because your father is a shifter doesn’t mean your mother was his mate.”
She nodded again. “Good point. Hadn’t thought of it that way. If that’s true, he might not want to be found, or I could mess with his life if I forced him to out himself.” Her shoulders dropped.
“I’m sorry, baby. I don’t mean to sound so grim, but I will say, it’s a long shot. In a town like Canyon Springs, that sort of thing doesn’t get buried unless it’s meant to be buried.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” She took a deep breath. “Will you do something for me?”
His heart soared. “Anything.”
“Cook for me. I’m starving.” She grinned.
His heart melted, and he stood. “Absolutely. Let’s see what you bought at Morton’s. I’ll figure something out.” He stepped closer and held out a hand. A peace offering.
Chapter 19
“So…this book you’re thinking about writing. Where exactly were you planning to write it?”
Elena was sitting on the island at his back where he worked putting a stir fry together. The kitchen smelled amazing, and her stomach growled. She chuckled. “That’s so subtle, Caleb.”
He twisted his head around to glance at her, still moving the vegetables around with his spatula. “Hey, I’m just asking.”
“Looks like the research is here. I can’t very well do a good job on the story if I leave town. How would I dig through all of Aunt Marge’s treasure trove of information or interview anyone in town if I left?”
She watched as he slowly exhaled.
“There are a few things you need to know about me,” she warned.
He turned off the burner and faced her, a huge smile on his face. “Lay them on me.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the counter.
“I can’t cook.”
He chuckled.
“I get lost in my work when I’m on a story to the exclusion of everything and everyone around me.”
He licked his lips. “Got it. For the next year, you’ll be emotionally unavailable every time you’re working. And you’ll wither away if I don’t feed you. Noted.”
She set her palms on the island at her sides and leaned forward. “I have no money to my name. If I break my lease and quit my job and move here, I will barely break even. I had counted on selling this house in order to get ahead.”
He flinched. “You can’t still be thinking of selling this house.” He shoved off the counter and came toward her, closing the distance.
She shrugged. “Do you hear what I’m telling you?”
He set his hands on the island on the outside of hers, not touching her. His face was inches away when he leaned in. “Yep. I don’t care. You do whatever makes you happy. All I need is you. If you’re saying you’re willing to move to Canyon Springs and make a life with me, I don’t care about any other thing. You can work or not work. Write a book that takes two years. Lie in my bed all day naked waiting for me to come home. Any of those things are fine as long as you stay. Please say you’ll stay.”
She couldn’t take her eyes off him as he spoke. He was offering her the world. He wanted nothing but her in return. “That’s a lot to think about.”
“Is it?”
She nodded, but there was no way to keep from smiling. “I’ve known you two days.”
“In shifter time, that’s more like two years,” he teased, inching closer but still not touching her.
“I haven’t spoken to Layla in over a day. Is this the conversation she’s having with Hunter at the same time?”
“Probably. Though he’s pushier than me. He might have worn her down earlier.” His smile grew.
She lifted a brow. “He’ll tell her about us being half shifters, right?”
He nodded. “I’ve known him my entire life. We’re only a few months apart in age. He may be the wilder of the two of us, but he’s a great guy. He would never hurt your sister.”
She cocked her head to one side. “What if we have kids? Would they be able to shift?”
His smile beamed at the same time his hands came to her thighs and smoothed up to her waist. “God, I love you.”
&nb
sp; She gasped. “That… That did not answer my question.”
“No. But it answered mine.”
“What?” She narrowed her gaze at him, her heart racing at his declaration, the beats matching his now that his hands were on her.
His palms inched higher until his thumbs grazed the undersides of her breasts. “Elena…” His lips were inches from hers.
“Yeah?” she breathed, losing the ability to think. All her focus was on his lips and his hands and the way his scent filled her with every breath. Her entire body came alive, needing him, needing this dance between them to end.
“Be mine.”
“Mmm.” She closed her eyes and licked her lips.
“Tell me you’re mine. Let me fully claim you.”
“What…” She swallowed. “What does that entail, exactly,” she murmured as she tipped her head back so that his breath hit her neck.
“Just your heart. Your soul. Your word.”
She rolled her head down to meet his gaze. “You’re not going to bite me or swap blood or give me some sort of secret potion?” She tried to keep her voice light as though she were joking, but really she was only half kidding.
He smiled at her and kissed her lips sweetly before whispering against her mouth. “No. No biting. No blood. No potions.” Another kiss. “Shifters don’t need ceremonies or weddings or marriage. We just make a commitment. It’s an emotional bond. You already know it’s there. You just have to accept it.”
“And then you’ll sleep with me?” She couldn’t keep the desperation from her voice.
He smiled against her mouth. “I’ve already slept with you. I want to make love to you. May I?” His hands slid up to her neck and then held her head.
She met his gaze.
“Be mine, Elena. Forever.”
She nodded. “You don’t play fair.”
He shook his head. “I’m done playing. I swear after I’ve been inside you, you will never again doubt my commitment to you.”
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