by Sarah Black
“I used to imagine it. I thought we could find some small tropical island and go there to live. But then I would think about two weeks in. What would we do all day after securing shelter and clean water? Would there be tribes who needed a mediator? Could I devise some sort of coconut-powered flying machine?” He shook his head. “This is the world we live in. We just needed to be patient and wait for it to catch up with us.”
“It was a long wait, Gabriel. For some generations of men, they waited forever. It’s hard for me to think about them now, what it must have been like. They were really out there alone. But I did wonder about something else. We might as well talk about it now. You’ve never had a chance to play the field. You’re moving from one house into another, without being single, without the fun of being single. Sure you don’t want to play with the boys and girls a little bit? After all, according to your daughter’s Facebook wall, you are bisexual.”
“This? Me and you? This is as wild and crazy as I’m likely to get, unless I’m in a helicopter. Then all bets are off.”
Gabriel worked on his steak for a while, and John did the same. The kitchen was filled with blissful silence.
Gabriel put down his fork. “Let’s see what Kim thinks about letting Juan bunk with him. Otherwise Juan and Martie’ll be fighting in the middle of the night and we’ll have to put masking tape down the middle of the bedroom floor.”
John nodded. “Sounds good. Maybe Martha could let them spend a day. Martie will want to decorate her own room, I suspect.”
Gabriel pushed his empty plate back. “Count on it. You know the thing that scares me most of all? That she would marry some creep just to annoy me. And that guy would be living in the same house with my kids. He could fuck with Juan’s head, and do God knows what to Martie.”
“It could happen,” John agreed. “She could get married again.”
“She will,” Gabriel promised. “Just to prove that she’s still beautiful and desirable. I don’t think she’ll ever put the kids at risk. But smart women have been fooled before by creeps.”
“We’ll be sure to carefully vet anybody that looks to be getting close. The kids will tell us what’s going on.”
“I’ve got a question for you. You’re changing too, and it’s not just me. Letting me in, I mean. You used to be really structured. You kept things compartmentalized, you know? And now you’re open to things. Open to change, and me. I mean, do you know what you did today? You said in public we were gay. Did you mean to do that? Are you going to come all the way out of the closet, become Retired Army General John Mitchel, the gay silver fox?”
That surprised a laugh out of him. “The what?” He shook his head. “I don’t know, Gabriel. I think it’s you. Your love is working on me in mysterious ways.”
Gabriel reached across the table and took his hand. “Thanks for the space in the closet. And the bathroom. Thanks for opening your heart to me and my kids.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ll bring the rest of my gear after work tomorrow.”
“Okay. And by the way? We’re expecting company. The cowboys are about to land.”
Chapter 13
BILLY’S father, the retired bull-riding champion Cody Dial, sounded tired and impatient on his cell when John introduced himself. “Are you the Army General John Mitchel?” The sound of the wind, and the road, was loud, and John thought he had the window of his pickup truck rolled down.
“Yes. Retired.”
“That’s what Billy told me, but he has been known to exaggerate in the past. I looked you up. Strategy and Tactics for the Joint Chiefs. How about that. You’ve got a Wiki page.”
“So do you. He’s not exaggerating about the beating. What did he tell you?”
“Some jerk he was dating had too much to drink and popped him one. He had to get stitches in his eyebrow.”
“It’s more serious than that, but we can discuss what’s being done when you arrive. I just wanted to give you a head’s up. He was hurt badly, mostly to his face. He had some bruising on his ribs too, and some marks on his arms and wrists. I don’t know what else. He’s… a little afraid.”
John listened to the sounds of breathing over the phone.
“Is the motherfucker who touched my son locked up?”
“Not yet.”
“That’s good,” Cody said. “Then I’ll take care of him myself.”
“Come see me first and I’ll tell you what’s being done. Billy’s staying in the garage with my nephew Kim.”
“Are they boyfriend and girlfriend? Or whatever you call it?”
“Not that I know of. I think just friends,” John said. “Kim was hit a few weeks ago by the same man, who is one of their instructors.”
“This sounds like there’s more to this fucking story than I am going to like. I’m nearly in Durango. I’ll be there in six hours.”
IT WAS past midnight, and Gabriel was asleep. John had stayed up to keep the light on for Billy’s dad. Cody Dial was a man of few words. He shook hands, said his name, then, “I’d like to see my son.”
Billy Dial must have had a beautiful and petite mother, because his father was a plug-ugly beast, with a face like a potato and a nose broken more times than it had been set. The look on his face when he stared down at his youngest son, asleep in Kim’s bed, his pretty young face purple and swollen and cut, was nearly too painful to see, and John turned away to give him some privacy. He sat down on the side of the bed, and Billy stirred, woke up, and went into his big father’s arms. John stepped back into the kitchen, put on a pot of coffee.
He sat with Billy for more than fifteen minutes, until John heard him murmuring, “Go to sleep now, Billy. Daddy’s here. You go on back to sleep.” He came into the kitchen a few minutes later, took off his ball cap, and ran both hands back over his hair.
“You want some coffee? Or I have herbal tea.”
“I only drink that herbal tea when Billy catches me at a weak moment. I’ll take a cup of coffee.”
He pulled out a chair at the table and sat down, and John poured him a cup and joined him at the table. They looked at each other for a long moment, and John was pleased with what he saw in Cody Dial’s eyes. He looked smart and in control. “I’ve got some papers to show you, and a report from a PI.” Cody nodded, and John went to his desk and got a file folder. He’d prepared a copy of all the materials he’d gathered for Billy’s dad.
Cody studied the papers, drank his coffee, and when he finished, he had two questions. “When I was in there talking to Billy, Kim said, ‘This is all my fault.’ Kim thinks what happened to Billy was some sort of revenge. What did you do to this guy after he hit Kim, other than what is in this paperwork?”
“Called him out in public. Punched him in the knee. Torn ACL. Not a great deal of permanent damage, but I hope it hurts like a bitch.”
“Kim, he doesn’t realize a guy like this doesn’t need to go looking for a reason.”
John was happy Cody Dial realized that as well.
“You think his father has been protecting him, keeping him on the faculty?” John nodded. “And what you’re trying to do is get him off the faculty and his father out of a position of authority, correct? And you’re working through the system to accomplish this?” John nodded again. “I believe you and I work on different sides of a line, General. A spoiled, rich man who has been protected by his daddy when he hurts young men who are his students? I don’t know if a man like that has any incentive to reevaluate his behavior. What’s his motivation to change?”
John looked at him carefully. “I would hate to see a man like this responsible for ruining any more lives. He tries to poison the people he touches. Our boys, they’re both strong and smart. They’re working on their own model for this. For healing, I guess you could say. I’m working on this my way. That may be enough.”
“No offence, General, but my experience has been that some men don’t change unless they have a reason to change. Revenge is a sucker’s gam
e. That’s not what I’m about. But I will make sure my son will not ever be touched again by this motherfucking piece of dog shit. That’s all you need to know about it.”
“You want a bed? I can make up the couch.”
“I thought I would just sit with Billy.”
“You’ve been driving a long time to get here. He’s just in the next room. Might as well sleep.”
“Maybe I will. Thank you for your hospitality, General Mitchel. How long you been out of the army?”
“I retired a year ago.”
“How did you make the adjustment?”
“It’s been a little rough. I wasn’t expecting all the changes, to tell you the truth.”
“Life will surprise you.”
CODY DIAL was up early, and John got to see the look on his face when he introduced Gabriel. It took a moment before Billy’s father realized they were more than overage roommates. It did look to John like a slight stomachache. Cody just sighed, though, and shook hands and said he was pleased to meet him. He said things were changing faster than he could keep up with. Then he pulled out his phone and called Dean Fox. “George Fox? This is Cody Dial. I’m on my way to see you.” John could hear squawks coming from the phone. “It’s only six? I must have come from a different time zone. Well, you better get on up, or you can open the door in your pajamas when I knock.”
Cody closed his phone and stuck it into the back pocket of his Wranglers. “That’s funny. He didn’t seem all that pleased to hear from me.”
“He told me yesterday morning he was going to find Brian Walker and fire him. If that is not what happened, would you mind giving me a call?”
“Sure, General. What do you have in mind?”
“I need to go see the cabinet minister for education up in Santa Fe. He asked me to come teach at the university when I retired, and I need to explain to him why I left. Also, I want to get a face to face with Brian Walker’s father. His name is Prentiss Walker, and I need to get a feel for the man before I plan the next step.”
Gabriel put his cup of coffee down. “I also think you should both consider using the media. We’ve got that hot-dog investigative reporter downtown, Charlie Green, and you know he would splash word of a cover-up at the university and on the board of supervisors all over hell and back. That would bring about a change, no question. And that’s what we’re going for, right? A change in the current way of doing business?”
“Yes,” John agreed. “But. You know he would want to talk to the boys and none of them have agreed to this. Seems to me unlikely they would agree. I don’t want them hounded or made to play the victim.”
“Something to consider, we could invite him to whatever Kim is planning at Ho Ho’s. I think it would be worth thinking about, because this isn’t a private affair. It’s affecting our families more than most, but this community supports the university. It depends on the university being run with an eye to the safety and education of the children. I don’t see that happening, and the community has a stake in seeing things change.”
“He sounds just like a politician, don’t he? You’re a good talker, boy.” Cody Dial put his ball cap back on, winked at Gabriel, and went into the kitchen to peek through the door into the garage, where Billy was sleeping.
“Good God.” Gabriel said after Cody Dial left, rolling his shoulders. Looked to John like he was getting ready for battle. “I wonder if we’re ever going to see Brian Walker in one piece again? Okay, forget I said that. What have you got on your plate today?”
“I need to proof the article for Monocle and send it in.”
“I told Juan I would take him up in the chopper this afternoon after school. He agreed to work harder on the algebra.”
“You want me to have another go with the tutoring?”
“You up for it? We could meet at Ho Ho’s after we take a spin. Kim offered to take a picture of the two of us. Juan said, ‘Yeah, great, we can call it a picture of me and my dad, the year he ruined my life.’”
“Maybe I’m not the best person to do this.”
“I don’t know, John. I don’t seem to have any idea what he needs me to do. I can’t quite get my mind around not knowing what to do. I mean, he was always my little shadow, you know? He’s been glued to my leg since he could crawl. I don’t want to think this is going to change things between us for good. But it might. I didn’t really think how it was gonna look to him. I wanted a quiet divorce. I never thought Martha would throw this in my face, make it public. I should have lied when she asked me, but you always said lying backfires, and I wouldn’t have felt right about it. About denying what was going on.”
“You mean, make you and me public? To the kids?”
He nodded. “I wasn’t quite ready for that. I didn’t know what to say, and it wasn’t just my privacy at issue. I didn’t say anything to Martha that would make her assume I was leaving her for you. I mean, I wasn’t. It wasn’t like that. I was leaving because I couldn’t… I couldn’t lie anymore about my heart.” Gabriel grinned, a little sadly. “About the nature of the beast. Martha decided the kids ought to know, because she knew it would hurt me to see them upset. And it did. So now Juan’s fourteen and trying to get his mind around the idea his dad’s gay. Kim he’s cool with. I mean, Kim is wild and flamboyant and colorful, and Juan has always looked up to him, so anything he wants to do is cool. But he was not expecting me to be gay and he doesn’t like it and he’s secretly wondering if this might be hereditary. He’s known you his whole life, and now you are not the person he thought you were, either. Just like me.”
“Adults are not supposed to change like this, out of the blue. I’m sorry it happened this way. But Gabriel, I’m not sure there’s anything we can do about it now.”
“We shouldn’t have had to pretend our whole lives. Always on the down-low. Always watching our backs. We can’t get that time back, John. You know I loved the army like I love the air I breathe, but, Jesus, what a cost. If we had been honest from the very beginning….”
“If we had, you wouldn’t have had the kids at all.”
Gabriel stood up, pulled John into his arms. “No, you’re right. You’re right. They make it all okay. Maybe it cost us twenty-five years, but they are irreplaceable. Don’t you think? And you and me? We have plenty of time.”
JOHN worked on the article in the quiet of his office and wondered what was happening. No one called him, though, so he suspected things had not reached a crisis point. Either that, or he had become entirely inconsequential to everyone. Kim and Billy went off to class, and Gabriel went to work. He enjoyed the writing, wondered if this solitary and quiet occupation was going to be the one he finished his life with. It was hard to imagine, after being one of the favorite thinkers and problems solvers for the JCS. But times changed. He felt like what he needed to do most was help Gabriel through this next year. Work on the two of them becoming a couple, becoming a family, rather than just two independent men who loved on the down-low.
He walked over to the third bedroom, looked inside. He had some exercise gear and file boxes stored against the far wall. They would be easy to move to the shed. Hard to imagine the walls painted lavender, with little rainbow ponies or whatever Martie might be interested in. He thought she was probably into ponies. Maybe unicorns.
He had the bedroom cleared and his article proofed and emailed to the magazine by early afternoon. He wandered outside, saw that Gabriel had put potting soil into little pots in the cold frame. He couldn’t tell if there were any seeds, though. Kim called and saved him from himself. “Yo, I’m on my way to get you! What are you wearing?”
“Clothes.”
“Make sure you look good. I’m taking a picture of the Horse-Lord in his flight suit.”
That was the most interesting bit of news John had heard all day. “Just honk when you get here.”
He looked down at himself. Jeans and a chambray shirt that was faded to a soft color between blue and gray, just the color of his eyes. Maybe this would be h
is retirement uniform. He ran a hand over his chin and his tongue over his teeth. He’d do.
Kim studied him with dismay when he got into the car. “What is this new look? You’re like an unemployed Mr. Greenjeans. You haven’t been messing around with the cold frame, have you? We already planted the seeds.”
“Where’s Billy?”
“I haven’t seen him since I dropped him off for class. I think he’s going to meet up with his dad later. He said he didn’t think his dad was up for Ho Ho’s, so I don’t know if I’ll see him tonight. I told him he had a bed for as long as he needed one, but I think Mr. Dial is probably going to haul him off to the Holiday Inn until he can convince him to go home. That’s my theory.” Kim drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. “Why don’t you let me take a picture of you and the Horse-Lord together?”
“Why?”
“Because that’s what couples do. Real art photography, it says something more than the simple subject of the picture. I want to see if the two of you are… I don’t know how to say it. Melding.” Kim lifted his hands from the steering wheel and showed what he meant. John thought it looked like he was pulling saltwater taffy. “It’s part of your coming out. Photographs of the lovers together, that’s one of the things men of your generation missed.”
“If I agree to this, will you stop talking?”
“Probably not,” Kim said, with what John thought was a particularly inane grin, “but I’ll try.”
When they got to the airfield, Gabriel was head down in the cockpit and Juan was sitting cross-legged on the tarmac, playing a Nintendo, his back to the chopper. Gabriel looked tired, but the flight suit brought back so many happy memories that John went into his arms and kissed him. Gabriel looked pleased, kept an arm around John’s shoulders while he showed him the chopper. He had a painting on the nose of a great silver-white warhorse with big black eyes, and he told the story of Torii Motoada, the samurai who died to protect his lord. Juan rolled his eyes, unimpressed. Kim was working the camera, taking some snaps of the two of them together, and Gabriel pulled John back against him, bent over, and kissed him on the neck. He looked over at Juan, then looked away. “You want to fly with me? I’m about ready to blow this pop stand.”