by L. Wilder
“That should get us all lined up. I’ve made some calls. The crew will be ready to start at the end of next month.”
“Sounds good. I’m leaving everything in your hands. Just let me know if you need anything,” I told him as I started walking towards Clutch. “I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”
As I got closer to the barn, I heard Clutch tell the kids, “I need a minute with Smokey. You guys go check out the barn, but don’t get into anything.”
Hadley smiled and said, “Okay.” Then she looked over to me and waved. “Hey, Smoke! We’re gonna go look around the barn.”
“Hey there, squirt! I’ll catch up with you in a bit,” I told her just before she disappeared inside the barn. Once I made it over to Clutch, I asked, “What’s going on?”
“We might have a problem,” he started. “Big Mike caught someone sniffing around the warehouse.”
“When?”
“Two nights ago and again last night.”
“Any idea who?”
“Not yet, but Mike’s working on it. So far, all he’s got is a black four-door with tinted windows, but he’s been going through the camera feed this morning trying to see if he can get a good shot of him. Just hasn’t had any luck so far.” He looked over towards the barn to make sure the kids weren’t around when he said, “Nitro called Cotton this morning. He’s been seeing the same damn car.”
“Fuck. What do you need me to do?”
“Just giving you a heads up. Gonna need you and some of your boys to keep an eye on things.”
“You got it. I’ll start making rounds with them tonight. What about Nitro?” As our main supplier, we were counting on him. The club used him because he was the best, and with the new pipeline we needed him more than ever. Fortunately for us, mistakes weren’t an option with him. He was constantly on the move, shifting from one warehouse to the next, always covering his tracks and leaving no loose ends for anyone to connect him to anything. He also knew everything about the people he worked with. Everything. He left nothing to chance, which made me wonder what the hell he thought about what was going on. “What’s he doing about it?”
“He’s stepping up his security and adding some additional manpower. But I’ve known him long enough to know he won’t let this shit go until he finds the guy behind the wheel.”
“We’ll find him,” I assured him. “We have to.”
“No doubt there. With our next shipment coming in a couple of weeks, we can’t take any risks,” he explained. “Nitro is…”
“Hey, Clutch!” Hadley interrupted. “Can we go out into the orchard for a little while?”
“Can’t today. I’ve gotta get back to the club,” he shouted. He raised his hand and motioned her over to us as he yelled, “Get Charlie and let’s go.”
I heard MJ’s car pull up to the front of the house, and I was about to call for her to come over to us when Clutch asked, “How are things going out here? You got it all sorted?”
“Yeah. It’s good. Wes has been great. He’s got everything under control.”
“Good, cause we’re gonna need ya.” Clutch smiled. “I was thinking you might trade in your bike for a tractor.”
“Not gonna happen, brother. Now that I’ve got things settled, I’m more than happy with leaving everything to Wes.”
Charlie came up to us and asked, “Are you taking us home or back to the clubhouse?”
“The house. Why?” Clutch replied.
“I’m starving. Can we get a burger or something before you drop us off?”
“Dang, boy. You’re like a bottomless pit,” Clutch laughed. “Get in the truck. We’ll stop for something on the way.” As soon as the kids were inside, Clutch got in the driver’s seat and said, “I’ll see you over at the club. Cotton will be calling church as soon as Big Mike gets things wrapped up.”
“I’ll be there,” I told him as I started towards the house. I opened the back door and as I stepped inside, I called, “MJ?”
When she didn’t answer, I went into the kitchen, but found no sign of her. I went into the living room and when I didn’t find her there, I called her name again, “MJ?”
Nothing. I was about to check upstairs when I noticed her car wasn’t in the driveway. I decided that I’d been wrong about hearing her pull up, so I went to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat before heading over to the club. I pulled the leftover lasagna out of the fridge and made myself a large plate. Once I’d warmed it up, I sat down on one of the barstools and grabbed my phone out of my back pocket. I dialed MJ’s number, and as I listened to it ring, I got an uneasy feeling that something was wrong. When it went to voicemail, I sent her a short text to check in. I took several bites of my lasagna while I waited for her to answer, but when I got no response, I tried calling again. Still no answer. I knew she was busy at work. I knew about the new cases her boss had given her, but that didn’t help that gnawing feeling in the bottom of my stomach that was telling me something wasn’t right. Unable to shake the feeling, I decided to drive by her office and check on her. Leaving my unfinished lunch on the table, I grabbed my helmet and started for the door. When it slammed behind me, I noticed a piece of paper drifting to the ground. I reached for it and found my name written on the front in MJ’s handwriting. It looked like any other note—one written to say she’d be late or had to run to town. I had no clue what was coming when I read it.
Smokey,
I never expected this. You caught me by surprise. You stole my heart and made me feel things I never thought I could feel. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. No one. There were days when I would look at you and think it couldn’t be possible for me to love you any more than I already did. Then, you’d say something to make me laugh or look at me with those beautiful, blue eyes and smile, and I just couldn’t help but love you even more. That’s why it’s so hard for me to write this letter. I can actually feel my heart breaking as I write the words, and I know after this I will never be the same again.
I’m leaving, Smokey. By the time you read this letter I will already be packed up and gone. We are from different worlds, traveling on two completely different paths, and in time, it would tear us apart. As much as I love you, I can’t keep lying to myself. I know in my heart that leaving now is the only way to prevent that from happening. I love you. More than you will ever know. But this is how it has to be. If you ever cared about me at all, please don’t try to find me. Just let me go. It’s the best thing for both of us.
Love always,
MJ
Fuck this. I stared at the writing on the page and I knew it was bullshit. Something had happened. Things were going good, really good, and there was no way she’d just walk away without something spooking her. I had no idea what it could be, but I’d be damned if I was just going to let her go. I didn’t give a fuck what she said in the letter. I would find her and figure out what the hell was going on—the sooner the better. I folded the letter and shoved it in my pocket as I headed to my bike. I revved the engine and pushed back the throttle hoping that if I got there fast enough, I could catch her before she left her house.
Twenty minutes later, I pulled up in her driveway, and I’d barely parked when her brother, Brandon, opened the front door and started down the steps. I killed the engine and waited for him to walk over to me. I could see the concern on his face when he said, “She isn’t here.”
“You gonna tell me where I can find her?” I asked.
“It’s better for you both if I don’t.”
“That’s bullshit, Brandon. I know something’s going on, and I’m not leaving here until I find out what it is,” I demanded.
His eyebrows furrowed as he took a step forward. “You just need to know she had her reasons for leaving. Leave it at that.”
“What the fuck? What kind of reasons? Everything was fine last night! Now suddenly she’s just gone? What the hell happened?”
“Not my place to tell, but you have to trust that she knows what she’s doing.”
“Fuck that! You know I’m not going to just let this go.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. Just give it some time,” he replied, clearly struggling to keep calm.
“How much time? A few days? Weeks?” I growled.
“I can’t answer that. But for her sake, just give her time to get herself sorted,” he said as he turned back towards the house.
I grabbed his shoulder, spinning him back around. “Damn it! Just tell me where she is, Brandon!” I took a breath and tried to rein in my anger before I said, “I need to know where she is.”
“I’ve told you all I can tell you. If you really care about her, give her some space.”
We were going in circles. It was clear he wasn’t going to budge, which pissed me the fuck off. If he were anyone else, anybody but MJ’s only brother, I’d take him to the club and let Stitch work him over to get him to talk. But hurting him wasn’t an option. I looked at him, noting the sincerity in his eyes, and all at once, his words hit me: she needed distance from me. But I couldn’t give her that until I knew that she was really okay, so I asked, “Is she safe?”
“Absolutely.”
“So, this is what she wanted?”
A flash of uncertainty crossed his face as he said, “Yeah… it is.”
“Brandon,” I warned.
“Just leave her alone… at least for a little while. She’ll be alright. Back the fuck off and give her that.”
I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one fucking bit, but before I could respond, my burner started vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw that I had a message from Cotton.
Cotton:
Need you at the warehouse now.
Me:
Headed that way.
I looked over to Brandon and said, “I’ll give her some space… for now.” I started up the engine and before I pulled out of the driveway, I told him, “But you should know. I will find her, with or without your help. And when I do, you better pray that she’s really okay, or there will be hell to pay.”
With that, I left and headed towards the warehouse. An uneasy feeling crashed over me as I sped down the old, deserted highway. I got it. I knew she was gone, but I still couldn’t wrap my mind around what the hell had happened. Maybe it was the club. Maybe we had moved too fast. Between us, the club, and the farm, maybe it had just been too much too soon. I’d started this new life and wanted her in it, but maybe she wasn’t ready. It was a lot to take on.
I tried to shake it off. I refused to give in to my doubts. I knew what MJ and I had was the real deal, and nothing could change that. The full truth about why she’d bolted was still a mystery, but in time, I’d uncover the reason why she’d gone. I just had to be patient. If she wanted time, I’d give it to her. I wouldn’t push her, at least not yet.
Chapter 14
Marley
I don’t know how long I’d been locked away in that room, but I couldn’t make myself get out of the bed. There were times when I would get up just long enough to look out the window and see that it was a beautiful day, but the heaviness I felt in my heart made it impossible to go any further. I just wasn’t ready to face the world, not yet. I kept telling myself that I needed time to pull myself together, but one day blurred into the next and I wasn’t getting any better. I couldn’t even take a breath without missing him—needing him—and my pounding headache wasn’t helping. Just trying to roll over made my stomach turn, and the nausea made it impossible to eat. I was a mess. Going to work was the last thing I wanted to do. Miranda told them I had a bad case of the flu, but I don’t think they were buying it. Over the past couple of weeks, they called time and time again, but she just kept putting them off. I knew I was risking everything. They wouldn’t wait on me forever, but right then, I just didn’t care. I was too busy wallowing in my own misery.
The light from the sun had been gone for hours when Miranda tapped on my door. She stepped inside and softly called, “Marley? Can I get you anything?”
Without moving, I answered, “No, thank you. I’m good.”
I heard her step in the room as she said, “Marley Jo, I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”
“I am worried. You haven’t eaten. You haven’t even gotten out of this bed in days. I know you’re upset, but this is just too much. You can’t keep going like this. I made you an appointment with Dr. Webb tomorrow.”
“I don’t need to see a doctor,” I groaned. “I just need one more day, and then I’ll—”
“No more days. Tomorrow, you’re going to the doctor. End of discussion.”
My head started to spin as I sat up in the bed. “Can’t you see that my heart is broken? No doctor can fix that!”
“Don’t be so melodramatic. It doesn’t suit you,” she reprimanded. She crossed her arms and leaned forward as she said, “I’m here for you, darling. And I know you have to deal with your anger and your pain in your own way and in your own time, but darling… you do have to deal with it. You might not get over it, but you can learn to live with it. You have to pick yourself back up and face the day. Your life isn’t over just because he isn’t here with you. You have to keep living.” She turned and started to leave. Just as the door began to close behind her, she added, “Your appointment is at ten.”
With an exaggerated huff, I fell back on the pillows and pulled the covers over my head. My aunt’s words seemed to echo in the room, repeating over and over in my mind, and I knew she was right. I’d all but given up. I had to pull out of my funk, even if it included a trip to the doctor’s office. I hoped he’d be able to help with my pounding headache and the constant nausea I’d been having for the past couple of days, so after a night of tossing and turning, I forced myself out of bed and took a long, hot shower. Once I was done, I put on a blouse and some dress pants and headed out into the kitchen. Aunt Miranda’s face lit up as she watched me walk over and pour myself a cup of coffee.
Trying to hold in her excitement, she smiled and said, “Good morning, Sunshine.”
“Morning.”
“Would you like me to go with you to the doctor’s office?”
“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine,” I told her. “And I was thinking I might stop by the office when I got out.”
“That sounds like a fabulous idea,” she cheered.
I took a sip of my coffee and replied, “Don’t get too excited. They might’ve already fired me.”
“There’s no way they’d do that. Everyone knows how lucky they were to get you in that office,” she argued. “You just go in there and show them just how amazing you really are.”
“One step at a time,” I told her as I reached for my purse and started for the door. “Doctor first.”
“Good luck,” she shouted as I got in my car. I waved and then pulled out of the driveway and started driving towards town. Once I finally found the doctor’s office, it was just a matter of minutes before I was in the bathroom peeing in a little cup while listening to two nurses standing outside the door chatting back and forth about the town’s upcoming Strawberry Festival. They continued to carry on while they led me over to the lab for blood work. The conversation came to a halt as one of them led me to my room and started taking my blood pressure and temperature.
She was writing something in my file when she asked, “Do you remember the date of your last menstrual cycle?”
I thought back for a few minutes, and when I couldn’t think of the exact date, I answered, “It was a few weeks ago… around the fifteenth of the month.”
“Alrighty. That’ll do it for me.” She smiled. “Dr. Webb will be in soon.”
While I was waiting, I took my phone out of my purse and stared at the screen while I considered unblocking Smokey’s number. I was debating it with myself when a doctor looking to be in his mid-sixties walked into the room. He extended his hand and said, “Hello, Miss Thompson. I’m Dr. Robert Webb.”
“Hey, nice to meet you,” I smiled.
“Why don’t you tell me what’s brought you in today?”
“It was actually my aunt’s idea. I’ve had a lot going on, and lately it’s all caught up with me. I’ve been really tired and maybe a little depressed, and I’ve been extremely nauseous every single day. Oh, and my head has been absolutely killing me. Today isn’t as bad, but I thought I’d come in anyway.”
“Let’s get you checked out,” he told me as he reached for his stethoscope. He placed it against my chest and said, “Take a deep breath.” After he completed the routine checks, he said, “Our lab tech’s son had a little accident at school, so it’s going to be tomorrow or maybe Monday before I can get the results from your blood work. As for the nausea and headaches, you mentioned that you’ve been feeling a little down. Have you been eating?”
“Not much. I just haven’t had much of an appetite.”
“Well, that could explain some of your symptoms. You’ve got to eat regularly, at least a little to keep your blood sugar level. In the meantime, take some Tylenol to help with the headaches until you get evened out. If you’re still having headaches in a couple of days, come back and see me.”
“Will do,” I told him as I stood to leave. “Thanks for seeing me today.”
“You take care of yourself, and remember, I’m just a phone call away. If you need anything, let me know.”
“I will,” I replied as I opened the door. “Thanks again.”
I rushed out to my car feeling like an idiot for wasting Dr. Webb’s time. I knew there was nothing wrong with me, at least not physically. I was suffering from a bad case of a broken heart, and nothing he could do would make it magically disappear. I had to find a way to manage on my own. I decided that getting myself back to work would be the best thing to distract myself from the hurt I was feeling being away from Smokey, so I called Mr. Daniels to let him know that I was on my way in.
My heart was racing as I approached the small office building. It had been weeks since I’d been to work, and the thought of meeting new people had my nerves in overdrive. I’d barely made it through the front door when an old gentleman wearing a black Armani suit greeted me.