by L. Wilder
He advanced forward. When I turned to bolt, he grabbed my arm. His fingernails dug into my skin causing me to screech in pain. “Damn it, Slider. You’re hurting me.”
He pulled me over to him, smashing me into his chest, and the smell of cigarettes and bourbon engulfed my senses. The heat of his foul breath sickened me as he grumbled, “I don’t know why you fight me like you do, baby cakes. You and I both know you want this as much as I do.”
“I wouldn’t want you if you were the last man on the planet!” I tried to pull free from his grasp, but he was holding me too tightly.
“You might as well get used to the idea, ‘cause you’re gonna be my ol’ lady. Soon, every inch of you is going to be mine.” He leaned closer with his mouth close to my ear as he slurred, “And once it’s official… I’m gonna fuck you good, Zoe girl.”
He’d finally lost it. The guy actually thought there was some absurd chance that I would end up with him. As I tried push him off me, I snarled, “That’s never going to happen.”
“Oh, no. It’s going to happen, baby. And it’s gonna happen real soon.” His hand dropped between my legs as he ran his fingers roughly across my center.
I was blinded with rage as I lifted my knee and slammed it into his crotch, making him buckle over in pain. If there was one thing my father taught me, it was how to defend myself against jerks like Slider; he’d just hoped I’d never have to use it. I would’ve done the same thing a few weeks ago, but Seth intervened before I had the chance. Just thinking about that night enraged me even more. While Slider was still toppled over, I lifted my knee again, ramming it into his face. His hands covered his face as he groaned in agony. I quickly grabbed it, twisting it tightly behind his back, I shouted, “Keep your damned hands off me, asshole!”
With his arm pulled behind his back, his body slammed against the wall with a thud. After several seconds of listening to him whine, I released him and started towards the door. I’d only taken a few steps when he grabbed me once again. I threw my fist back and was about to hit him when he mumbled, “You’ve got no choice, bitch. Either you become mine, or you’re cut off. All your daddy’s money belongs to the club. Being with me is the only way you’re ever gonna get it.”
I looked at him with disbelief, but when I saw the expression on his face, I knew he wasn’t just running his mouth. He’d meant it. “What are you talking about?”
He stood upright as he wiped the blood from his nose. “You had to know this was coming. Your ties to the club are gone, and without me, you’ve got nothing.”
“But Tank said—”
“Things change.” His demeanor changed as a proud look crossed his face.
“I got voted into office today. I’m the new Sergeant at Arms.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
“I’m an officer now.”
“Again, what does that have to do with anything?”
His expression quickly changed into one filled with anger. “You wanna keep staying in this office or do you want to be out there on a fucking pole? ‘Cause I gotta tell ya, just the thought of you out there bouncing your tits around on that stage, the guys cramming all those bills in your thong, makes my dick hard.”
I felt like my world was crashing down around me. I was angry and hurt, but worse, I was trapped. I was twenty years old with no degree, no money, and no place to go. I considered my Aunt Janet, but I knew that wasn’t an option. Even though I knew she’d be willing to help, I just didn’t have the heart to ask. She already had her hands full taking care of Uncle Dan and her three kids. It was my problem, and I had to find a way to fix it.
I looked up at Slider, and the thought of being his ol’ lady sickened me. It wasn’t that he wasn’t attractive. He was—in his own roughneck way. But every time I looked at him, my skin crawled with disgust, and when he opened his mouth, he only made it worse.
“I’m not getting up on that stage, Slider. That’s not an option.”
“Then, you best be thinking about your next move, baby cakes, ‘cause shit’s about to change around here. You can count on that.”
Before he had a chance to say anything else, I grabbed my purse and rushed out. I needed to get the hell out of there. I stormed through the bar, ignoring everyone around me as I headed for the door. I heard Kat call out my name, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I was on the brink of tears, and I knew if I talked to her right then, I’d have a complete breakdown. I had to keep it together, at least until I got out of that godforsaken strip club. There was no way I would let those assholes know they’d gotten to me. I managed to hold on until I got into my car, but as soon as I closed my door, the dam broke. Tears started to cascade down my face as I sat there in the dark, alone and heartbroken. The reality of my screwed-up life was finally soaking in, and I just wanted to run away from it all. I wiped the tears from my eyes and started my car. With no destination in mind, I headed out onto the main road. As I drove along the old country roads, I tried to clear my head, but it was just too much. I needed to know what to do. I needed answers, but no grand revelations came, just more worries and doubts. After several hours, I ended up at one of my favorite spots on Elliot’s Bay.
I got out and walked over to the edge of the water. Normally, listening to the sounds of the water crashing against the rocks would calm me, but nothing could still the whirlwind of emotions that were raging inside of me. I felt lost and completely alone. I missed that feeling of peace I’d felt when I was in that hospital room with Seth, and without thinking, I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and stared at the message he’d sent earlier that night.
Seth:
Zoe?
Seth:
Are you okay?
Seth:
It’s Seth.
Just seeing the messages seemed to soothe me, to give me some sense of hope. I knew it was wrong. I knew no good could come from it, but I couldn’t help myself.
Me:
Hey Seth.
I stood there staring at the screen. Each second that passed seemed like an eternity as I waited for his response. I began to doubt myself, thinking it was a mistake to message him. I suddenly wished I could take it back. I was just about to give up entirely when my phone beeped.
Seth:
Zoe?
Me:
Yeah. It’s me.
Seth:
I was hoping to hear from you.
Me:
It’s hard to believe you’re really awake. You had us all pretty worried.
Seth:
So I’ve heard.
Me:
Are you doing okay? How are you feeling?
Seth:
Better now that I’ve heard from you. Was hoping to see you. I’ve missed the sound of your voice
Me:
My voice? You heard me?
Seth:
Every night, until you stopped coming. I was hoping I’d get a chance to get to know this mysterious girl in my dreams.
Me:
Sorry. I wanted to be there, but things around here got a little hectic.
Seth:
No need to be sorry for that.
Me:
I never got a chance to thank you for helping me.
Seth:
I’m not sure I was much help. I wish I could’ve done more.
Me:
You helped more than you know.
Seth:
So things are OK?
Me:
I’ve been better, but I’ll get through it.
Seth:
You want to come tell me about it? I’m a good listener.
Me:
I don’t know. It’s complicated.
Seth:
Complicated is my specialty. You helped me through a tough spot. Let me do the same for you.
Me:
Let’s just say things in my life aren’t turning out the way I’d hoped they would.
Seth:
You’re gonna have to give me more than that, doll.
What’s going on?
Me:
I’m realizing that I’m not going to have the life that I wanted, and it isn’t an easy thing to accept.
Seth:
Who says you can’t have the life you want?
Me:
That’s the complicated part. It’s too hard to explain.
Seth:
Is this life you wanted important to you?
Me:
Yes. It means everything to me.
Seth:
Then there has to be a way. You just have to find it.
Me:
It’s not that easy.
Seth:
No one said it would be easy. You’ve just gotta be willing to grab the bull by the horns. You might get knocked down a time or two, but if it really means something to you, it’ll be worth it.
Me:
It’s a big bull, Seth. A big, mean, ornery, blood-thirsty bull.
Seth:
The bigger they are, the harder they fall, doll.
Me:
LOL. I sure would love to see that.
Seth:
Why don’t you come here, and we’ll find a way to break this bull together?
I stood there staring at the words on the screen, and I was tempted. Very tempted. The thought of seeing him made my stomach fill with butterflies. I wanted to go and just talk to him, but I knew I couldn’t. The stakes were too high, and I couldn’t risk him getting hurt again. As much as I hated to turn him down, especially after he’d given me the push I’d needed to take back my life, I had no choice.
Me:
As great as that sounds, I really can’t. Thanks for listening to me, Seth. It means a lot. Take care of yourself.
Seth:
You’ve got my number if you change your mind. I’m just a phone call away.
Just like he had in the hospital, he’d managed to set my mind at ease and calm the storm raging inside me. He’d given me the inspiration I needed to face things with the club. My life was worth fighting for. One way or another, I was going to find a way out of this mess. I was going to face that damned bull and have my eight seconds of glory, even if it meant going against the Chosen Knights MC.
Chapter 9
Two Bit
We were all huddled around the table listening to Cotton hash out the details of our next delivery. He was leaving no stone unturned, making sure nothing would derail our next shipment. There was too much at stake. The pipeline had been a profitable move for the club, and the hijacking had been a major setback. It didn’t help matters that we had no leads on who had managed to gather the intel to infiltrate us. Like us, the other charters wanted answers, but even with Big and all our contacts, there were none to be found. It had been two weeks, but we hadn’t made any headway. Whoever had played us was keeping quiet, making it impossible to make any connections. The whole thing was fucking with my head.
I wanted to do something to help, but I was still playing catch up. I’d only been back home for a couple of days and was still feeling out of sorts. I was doing better; my wounds had healed, and I was on the road to full recovery. But I just wasn’t myself. I hadn’t completely shaken the fog I’d been under, and I still couldn’t remember everything that had happened that night—only bits and pieces. With vivid detail, I could recall everything that happened up to the moment I walked into the bar, but everything else was jumbled in my head. It didn’t help that I couldn’t sleep—not a fucking wink. Each night, I’d climb into bed beyond exhausted, but sleep never came. I just lay there staring at the damned ceiling. I tried everything from drinking to watching the fucking news, but nothing helped.
Tensions were running high as we started to dismiss from church. The brothers talked angrily amongst themselves as they dispersed throughout the clubhouse. None of us had been known for our patience, and all the unanswered questions only made us more on edge. I had no doubt we’d find out who had taken our shipment, and when we did, they’d pay. We’d make sure of it.
I needed some time to decompress and was about to head to my room when I heard a familiar song coming from the bar. I tried to remember where I’d heard it, but it wouldn’t come to me. I followed the sound into the bar and could feel the tension in my shoulders start to relax as I listened to the words. That tension quickly returned when I heard Maverick announce, “We’ve got company.”
I could tell by the tone of his voice that something was wrong. Maverick was our Sergeant at Arms, and he was calm and steady—until he wasn’t. When he got riled up, you didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire. When I noticed his expression, I could see that he wasn’t pleased about our guest’s arrival. Cotton’s eyebrows furrowed with concern as he asked, “Who’s here?”
“I told him to get lost, but Nitro wants a word with you.”
His face grew angry and cold. “He’s got nothing that I want to hear.”
While there had been a time when things were different, Cotton wasn’t a fan of Nitro. He’d trusted him to handle a situation with one of our girls, only to have him double-cross us in the end. It was complicated, and I had to admit that I understood Nitro’s reasoning for not bringing her back. She had been pretty screwed up from the whole kidnapping ordeal and needed help. He’d made sure she got it and anything else she might’ve needed. In the end, she had the final choice of whether to stay with him or come back to the clubhouse. It was clear they’d both gotten caught up in something no one really understood, and she ended up staying with him. Things had worked out for her, and she was happy with Nitro, but Cotton had expectations. Nitro didn’t meet those expectations and had to pay the consequences. Their business ties were severed, along with any form of friendship they might’ve had.
“I don’t know, Pres. He seems pretty adamant. He’s askin’ for five minutes. He said you’re gonna want to hear what he’s got to say.”
Cotton groaned with frustration. “I don’t have time for this bullshit. Tell him he’s got two minutes.”
Maverick nodded and left to get Nitro. I glanced around the room and noticed that most of the brothers had already gone. I was about to do the same when Cotton called out to me. “Stay put. Not sure if he’s up to somethin’. Keep your eyes open.”
“You got it,” I told him as I walked over to the bar.
I could feel the tension crackling around us as Maverick returned with Nitro at his side. With his typical cocky swagger, Nitro walked straight up to Cotton and smirked. “Hear you’ve fallen on tough times, brother.”
“And what would you know about it?” Cotton growled. Maverick crossed his arms as he glared at Nitro angrily. In a blink, Guardrail appeared, along with Stitch, Smokey, and Big. Like a group of bodyguards, they stood behind Cotton and listened intently as Nitro spoke.
“I know you got a shipment swiped right out from underneath you. A big one. And you’ve got no idea who did it, do ya?”
“Again, what the fuck do you know about it?”
He cocked his eyebrow. “I know a thing or two. I might be willing to share that information with you… but it comes at a price.”
“Not interested in playing games with you, Nitro. If you’ve got something to say, say it. Your time’s running out.”
“Let’s just say that if I share this bit of information I have with you, then this rift we have between us… ends today.”
“You’re out of your fuckin’ mind. There’s nothin you could tell me—”
Nitro lifted his hand to interrupt. “Hold up. You don’t know what kind of information I’ve got, Cotton. Besides, you and I both know things worked out exactly the way they were meant to with Tristen. I know I fucked up by not coming to you first, but she’s in a good place now. She’s happy. My actions with her shouldn’t have completely severed our ties. We had a good thing going, and we can again. That’s why I’m here. I know who has your shipment.”
“Who?”
Nitro shook his head. “Not until you say the word. Will this set us right?”
“No, but
it’ll be a start. Now tell me what you know.”
“The Chosen Knights contacted me earlier today.”
As soon as he said the words, I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. The memories of that night came flooding back. Everything they’d said and everything they’d done hit me all at once. I remembered one of them saying, “We go in with no bikes and no colors. Keep our mouths shut, and they’ll never even know it was us.” I was suddenly overcome with guilt. It was my fault—all of it. If I hadn’t gotten tangled up with that asshole, I would’ve been able to warn them about what was coming, and none of it would’ve happened.
I was about to tell Cotton what I’d remembered when Nitro continued. “The Brothers heard we were on the outs and figured I’d like a chance to stick it to you. I could’ve made a pretty penny, but here I stand. I’ve got your back, brother. Always have.”
“Fuck.” Cotton clenched his fists at his side. “I’ll end those motherfuckers.”
“I need to know how you want to play this.”
“For now, play along. Tell them you want to make a deal, and we’ll figure out where to go from here. Just buy us some time.”
He nodded. “You got it. And I still have your last shipment on hold. If you need it, it’s yours.”
A strange look crossed Cotton’s face. Nitro had caught him by surprise, and that just didn’t happen—not with Cotton. “I’m not one for second chances, and I certainly don’t forgive easily.”
Nitro chuckled under his breath. “Does this mean we’re good?”
Cotton extended his hand out to Nitro. “We’re good, but fuck with me again…”