by L. Wilder
“Uh … Okay.”
“This way, we can focus on the self-defense strategy.”
From that moment on, everything happened so fast that I could hardly keep up. When it came time for the preliminary hearing, I was a nervous wreck. I’d spent three long days behind bars, and I was practically trembling as I walked into the courtroom. As the guard led me to my seat, I found myself searching for Diesel. There was no sign of him, but Cotton and several of the others were sitting in the back row. They looked quite intimidating sitting there with their leather cuts and fierce facial expressions; knowing they were there to support me gave me a sense of strength I didn’t know was possible—but I couldn’t help but wonder why Diesel wasn’t there. I gave them all a quick smile as I made my way over to my seat. Just as I sat down, the back doors flew open, and Diesel came charging inside. Relief washed over me as he started walking in my direction. As he knelt down behind me, he whispered, “Hey.”
I glanced over my shoulder and smiled when I saw his handsome face. “Hey. I was worried you weren’t going to make it back in time.”
“No way I was going to let that happen. You doing okay?”
“I’d be better if this whole thing was over,” I confessed. “I’m really sorry about everything. If I had known—”
“Don’t,” he interrupted. “Just focus on what lies ahead and getting out of here. I’m right here with ya, every step of the way.”
“You’re pretty great, you know that?” He smiled at me then stood up to go back to his brothers. I was about to turn back around when I spotted Brady’s father sitting in the middle of the crowd. Just like his son used to do, he was glaring at me with pure hatred, sending a cold chill down my spine. Doing my best to ignore him, I turned my attention to the front of the room.
The next half hour was a blur. MJ presented our case to the court, and after the prosecutor was done dragging me over the coals with his harsh tongue-lashing, they bantered back and forth among themselves, discussing future dates and sequestering evidence. And then the moment came—the judge set my bail. As soon as I heard the astronomically high number, my heart dropped, knowing there was no way on earth that I could pay it. With my thoughts preoccupied, I never even looked in Diesel’s direction as the guard led me out of the room. Back at the station, I changed clothes and was returned to my cell, where I immediately lay down and started to cry. I had no idea how long I’d been there sobbing into my pillow when one of the guards came up to me and slid my door open.
“Your bail has been posted.”
“What? By who?”
She shrugged and gave me a look of indifference. “Got no idea. You’ll find out when you get discharged up front.”
I was too confused to be excited as I followed her down the hall and upstairs to the discharging room. They handed me back my clothes, and once I’d changed, they took me to another window where I was given my other personal belongings and told to sign several papers. As I filled out the forms, I glanced around the room and saw no sign of Diesel or the others. Having no idea who would’ve set my bail, I was starting to become anxious, then I heard a voice I hadn’t heard in almost eight years.
“Hello, Ellie.”
I quickly turned and found my father standing behind me. I was completely stunned and barely managed to mutter, “Dad?”
He stood with his arms nervously at his side, and there was pain behind his eyes as he spoke, “Your mom and I saw you on the news. When we found out what was going on—”
“Why are you here?” I interrupted.
“We were in the court room.”
He just stood there staring at me, and I had no idea what he was thinking. I’d thought of this moment a million times, that I would yell and scream and curse him for not being the father I’d needed him to be, but as I stood there looking back at him, I realized how much I truly missed him. I missed all of them, and the fact that he was here now gave me hope that I could have the chance to fix the rift that had grown between all of us. “You haven’t answered my question. What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to help.”
“But why now?”
“I know I’ve made a mess of things. It was a mistake to turn my back on you all those years ago, and if I could take it back, I would.” Tears filled his eyes as he said, “I’m so very sorry, Ellie. I was wrong. I know it isn’t right for me to ask, but please forgive me for being a stubborn, old fool?”
I could’ve made it harder on him, but my heart had taken all it could. Just wanting it all to be over, I told him, “It wasn’t all your fault. I was just as stubborn. I should’ve listened to you, but that was a long time ago. You’re here now and that’s all that matters.”
He reached for me and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. It almost felt too good to be true to have him close. “I’ve missed you, Ellie. More than you can imagine.”
“I’ve missed you, too. All of you.” With my head resting on his chest, I told him, “There’s so much I have to tell you.”
“And I want to hear it all. Every single word. I hate that I’ve missed so much of your life, but that’s over now. Your mother and I both want to make things right,” he told me as he clung to me.
I was still in his arms when Diesel walked in with Cotton and MJ. I could tell by the expressions on their faces that they were surprised to see me standing there. I took a step back, and as I released my father from our embrace, I motioned my hand over to them. “Dad, I have some people that I’d like you to meet.”
After I’d finished making my introductions, MJ smiled and said, “We came to post your bail, but I guess your father beat us to it.”
It suddenly dawned on me just what my father had really done. “How could you afford to post my bail?”
“That’s not for you to worry about.”
“Dad.”
“It’s fine, Ellie. It was the least I could do.” He turned towards the door as he said, “Your mother is back at the house. You’re welcome to come stay with us if you’d like.”
I glanced over at Diesel, seeing the longing in his eyes, and I knew there was only one place I wanted to be. “I really appreciate the offer, but I’ve got a place to stay. Maybe, I could come for a visit soon?”
“I’d like that. Your mother would, too.”
I hugged him tightly once again. Only this time I savored the moment, smelling the familiar scent of his after-shave and feeling the comfort of his loving arms. “Thank you for coming. It really means a lot to me.”
“I love you, El. Always will.”
“I love you, too.”
Once he was gone, Diesel started towards me. As soon as I was within reach, he grabbed me and hugged me tightly as I melted into his arms. “I guess I should’ve asked this sooner, but is it okay if I stay with you?”
“You’re kidding, right?” He chuckled. “There was no way I was letting you leave here with anyone but me, so yeah, you can stay with me.”
“I was hoping you might say that.”
“You ready to get out of here?”
“Absolutely.” I reached in my pocket and as I handed him his keys, I grimaced. “You might need these.”
“Yeah. About that.” He cocked his eyebrow and scolded, “We’re gonna have us a little talk about how things are gonna be from here on out, but that can wait. For now, let’s get you home.”
As he took my hand in his and led me towards the door, my heart swelled with hope; I’d found someone who was brave enough to enter my storm. While I prayed it didn’t engulf us both, I was relieved and thankful that Diesel would be by my side, helping me face the uncertainty of what still waited ahead.
Chapter 13
Diesel
We’d only been driving for a short time when we both decided to stop and grab a bite to eat at some café right outside of town. Ellie started talking the minute we sat down, telling me everything from how her memory had come back to how hard it was to sleep in her cell. Poor thing hadn’t had an
yone to talk to for days, so it didn’t surprise me that she had so much to say. The entire time she rambled on, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. It was like my mind was having a hard time believing that she was really free. So I sat there, quietly staring as I listened to every word. I knew the last few days had taken its toll on Ellie, and I was eager to get her home, so as soon as she finished eating, I asked, “Are you ready to head back?”
“Yes. I’m dying for a hot shower and a change of clothes.”
“Okay, then, let’s get rolling.”
We jumped in the truck, and then hit the road. When we finally made it back to Port Angeles, I turned down an old side road, which sparked Ellie’s curiosity. Knowing it wasn’t the way to the clubhouse, she turned to me with a confused look and asked, “Where are we going?”
“My place,” I answered nonchalantly. I’d decided early on that instead of going back to the clubhouse, I was taking her to my place. Maybe I was being selfish, but I wanted her all to myself. “It’s just up the road a bit.”
“Your place? I thought you lived at the clubhouse?”
“I stay there from time to time, but I don’t live there.” As I started down another side road, I told her, “I always wanted a place out by the water. The house isn’t all that great, but the view is out of this world. I’d really like to show you, if you’re up for it?”
“I’m definitely up for it. I can’t wait to see it.” She was completely silent as I drove up the long, gravel driveway. I watched her expression as she leaned towards the window to get a better look, and when she saw the old, yellow, craftsman-style bungalow, her eyes lit up. “Wow. It’s really beautiful, Diesel.”
“It needs a lot of work, and I will get to it one of these days,” I assured her as I put the truck in park. “Come on. I’ll show you inside.”
As she followed me up the steps and into the house, I found myself becoming nervous that she might not like it, but as soon as I put the key in the door and opened it, I heard her gasp. She stepped inside and walked straight towards the long row of floor-to-ceiling windows, which lined the back of the house. “Did you do all this?”
“Yeah. I figured if I was gonna have my house by the water, I was gonna enjoy it, inside and out.” I chuckled and added, “Besides, it’s a good distraction from the second-hand furniture and lack of decorations.”
“Your furniture is great, but you’re right.” Her lips curled into a mischievous smile as she looked around. “It could use a picture or two on the walls.”
I pointed to a tiny, four by six photograph that I had hanging in the kitchen. “I’ve got pictures. See? That’s one of my very first motorcycle.”
She walked over to the picture and studied it for a minute. “Um … Diesel, that’s a moped. It’s just like the one my brother used to have, except this one is missing the little wire basket on the front.”
“What? You’ve gotta be shitting me.” I smirked, knowing very well that it was, indeed, a moped. My stepfather had given it to me when I turned twelve, and it was a gift that left a lasting impression. “That sweet ride right there is a Honda PA50 1978 Hobbit.”
“Yeah. Well, I hate to break it to you, but that sweet ride is a moped.” The light in her eyes danced as she laughed, making her even more irresistible. I could actually feel myself being pulled towards her as she continued, “But don’t worry. I won’t hold it against you.”
“Good to know.”
After she took a quick look around the kitchen, she went back into the living room and stood by the windows. As she stared out at the ocean, she said, “You were right. The view really is amazing.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
“With a view like this, you should have a porch or a little patio. I could see myself spending an entire day out there just looking out at the ocean, drinking my coffee and reading.”
“I hadn’t thought about that, but you’re right. It would be cool.”
“Be warned. If you build one, I might never leave.” She teased.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
I gave her the full tour, and as we stood by the bathroom door, she asked, “Do you mind if I take a shower?”
“No, not at all.” I grabbed some towels and started the water for her. “I’ll go see what I can find for you to wear.”
After I gathered up some of my clothes for her, I went into the living room and started a fire. It was the first time I’d had a woman at my place, and I was feeling a little off-balance. I wanted everything to be perfect for her, but under the circumstances, I had to make the best of what I had. I lit a few candles, turned on the TV, and tried to be patient as I waited for her to finish up in the bathroom. When she finally walked into the living room, I had to bite back my smile the minute I saw how my t-shirt and sleep pants hung on her small frame. Her hair was still wet, and her cheeks were flushed from the hot shower. Ellie looked absolutely adorable as she padded over to the sofa and sat down beside me. “Thank you for the shower. I can’t tell you how much better I feel.”
“No problem. I’m sorry about the clothes. We’ll get you something that actually fits tomorrow.”
“That’s okay.” She gave me a slight shrug. “I really like wearing your stuff. It makes me feel … um … never mind.”
“No way. You’re not going to start something like that and not finish it. What were you going to say?”
“I was just going to say that wearing your shirts makes me feel close to you. I really wish I had one with me when I was in that cell. I might’ve been able to sleep if I did.” She rolled her eyes at me. “Happy now?”
“Actually, I am. More than you know.”
“Can I tell you something without you thinking I’m crazy?”
“You can tell me anything.”
“I missed you … a lot. Probably more than I should have.”
“I missed you, too, Ellie.
“There’s a chance, a good chance, that I’ll be going back to jail. It scares me to think that I might spend the rest of my life behind bars, but the thing that scares me the most is losing you. I’ve already lost so much, and I just don’t think I could take it.” She looked up at me with confusion. “See? It doesn’t make any sense. Why am I afraid to lose you when you’re not even mine? It’s crazy.”
“I’ll tell you what’s crazy. I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks and you already mean more to me than anyone else. You’re all I can think about … all I want. So, yeah, I’m scared too … scared of wanting something I can’t have. But I can promise you this—you don’t have to be afraid of losing me. I’m yours in every way that counts, and I’m not letting you go.”
“So, do you think we’re both crazy?”
“Maybe, but I don’t care.” I reached for her, pulling her closer as I pressed my lips against hers. My need for her burned deep, and just the feeling of having her in my arms was like pouring gasoline on a fire. I brought my hands to the nape of her neck, bringing her even closer, and a light moan vibrated through her chest as I delved deeper into her mouth. Her arms snaked around my neck, and as her fingers tangled in my hair, she inched closer, pressing her breasts against my chest. Fuck. There was no denying the attraction between us. Hell, I could feel it coursing through my veins whenever she was near, and over the past few days, that feeling had only grown stronger. Our hunger for one another quickly escalated, causing the kiss to become wild and heated. We were completely lost in one another, and I didn’t want the moment to end.
When we finally came up for air, Ellie looked at me with lust-filled eyes and said, “I’ve never felt anything like this before. It’s a little overwhelming.”
After everything that she’d been through, the last thing I wanted to do was push her into something if she wasn’t ready. “We don’t have to rush into anything here. You’re worth the wait.”
With her eyes locked on mine, she stood up and extended her hand to me. “I don’t want to wait, Diesel. I’m tired of waiting for what I really wan
t, and I want this more than anything.”
I took her hand and followed her into the bedroom. When we reached the foot of the bed, she reached for the hem of my shirt, and as she started to ease it over my head, she said, “I’ve thought about this moment so many times.”
“I want you to be sure.”
She tossed my shirt to the floor, then reached for her own and slowly lifted it over her head, exposing her perfect, round breasts. We both knew her scars were there in plain sight, but neither of us paid them any mind. It was just Ellie and me. “I’ve never been more sure.”
The damn broke as soon as the words slipped from her mouth, and as she stood there staring at me with hunger in her eyes, all the heat and desire I had been holding back flooded over me. Every ounce of resistance had vanished, leaving me completely helpless to fight the urge to have her. Like a starved animal, I closed the gap between us, and a flash of desire crossed over her eyes as my hand dove into her hair. I grabbed the back of her neck as my lips crashed into hers, our tongues twisting and tasting each other with nothing but passion and desire. Her mouth was warm and soft, and each swirl of her tongue made the blood rush straight to my cock.
As I lowered my mouth to her neck, I whispered, “I’m going to erase all your bad memories, angel. Every damn one of them.” I ran my lips leisurely from the curve of her jaw down to her shoulder. “You’ll only be able to remember the feel of my mouth on your skin, my hands on your body, and the thrust of my cock when I bury myself deep inside you—over and over. Everything else will be forgotten.”
“Yes,” she rasped.
The feel of her body against mine sent me over the edge, and my hands suddenly became rough and impatient. I had to have her—all of her. I continued trailing kisses past her collar bone, and her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me towards her as I lowered my mouth to her breast. Heavy breaths and low moans filled the room as I flicked my tongue against her nipple. Her head fell back, leaving no doubt that she liked having my mouth on her. With her eyes closed, she mumbled, “You have no idea how good that feels.”