Damaged Love

by Sarah J. Brooks

  As I brushed my teeth, the memory of the gorgeous stranger hit me, and I had to go look out the window. It didn’t look any different over there at the neighbor’s house. I watched intently to see if I noticed any curtains moving as he walked passed, or perhaps I would get lucky enough to see him come outside again.

  I tried to peer around to the garage out back to see if there was a vehicle there, but I couldn’t see from my bedroom.

  I moved my snooping self down to the kitchen as I made a cup of coffee. The sweet and bitter taste hit my pallet with a bang, and I could feel the caffeine start rushing through my body. I needed that desperately.

  Stanley came down the stairs and joined me for a brief coffee before I sent him on his way. Even though I really loved our visit that day, I had a bit of a fixation on the guy across the lawn, and I was focused on getting to see him soon.

  “When should I come over again?” Stanley asked as I walked him to the door.

  “Text me. We can arrange something. You know how it is.”

  “Yes, I do. I’ll text you later tonight,” he said and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving.

  The memory of the hot neighbor’s body still burned in my brain; I could still feel his warm olive skin on my hands. I licked my lips with desire as I thought about his lips. Their perfect color and roundness; oh, how I wanted to feel them against mine. It was like a sweetness on my mouth as I thought about the neighbor and how he could please me with those lips of his.

  My eyes stayed focused on his house, just waiting for him to come out shirtless like he had done the night before. My body ached to see him again. I didn’t even know his name, but I was filled with thoughts of desire.

  What would his lips feel like on my body? Oh, how I would love to feel them softly moving over every inch of me. Slowly moving from my neck, down to my nipple, and further down to bring me to a tremendous explosion.

  With my coffee in hand, I went out my back door to see if he was anywhere to be seen. I looked around his garage, but there wasn’t a car there. It looked just as empty as it always had. A sinking feeling came over me.

  He was real, right? The idea that he might not have really been there the night before haunted me. I know I had been drunk, but was it possible to be so drunk you imagined a person that didn’t exist?

  As I stood in my backyard looking at his house, I was compelled to get closer and closer to the building. I could feel my heart start quickening with each step. One foot in front of the other, and I made my way into the neighbor’s backyard. I placed my hand on the side door to the garage and slowly twisted the doorknob. It opened.

  When I looked into the garage, it was totally empty. This seemed extremely odd to me. If someone had really just moved in, surely they would have some boxes or other personal belongings that they would be storing in the garage.

  Confusion filled me as I walked up to the house. I placed my face against one of the windows and looked inside. The same old furniture that had sat in there for the last five years was still there.

  The Hendersons had been killed in a car accident, and they had no children. Five years had gone by, but I could still remember it like it was yesterday. They had been arguing for days before the accident, and I believed the husband had purposely driven them off the road. But no one would ever know for sure, the event was officially listed as an accident. Their home was given to a cousin who lived out of town. We all thought the cousin would list the house for sale, but year after year it stayed empty.

  I walked around to the front of the home and without thinking, I knocked. A flash of regret quickly filled my body. What if he was there? I would look crazy to him. Peering in his windows, looking in his garage, knocking on his door; all for no good reason at all.

  Well, in my head I had a good reason. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to see if that electricity I had felt the night before was something real or just something that my mind had imagined.

  I stood timidly waiting in anticipation. I wanted to see him again, but then I was nervous at the possibility as well.

  My mind raced with thoughts of why a man like that would come to Bain, Missouri. There was no reason for anyone to come to this small town in the countryside of Missouri; well, no good reason at least. He said he had come for a break, but still; no one came to our small town for a break either.

  Everyone who lived in Bain was born there or had the unfortunate luck to have fallen in love with someone who lived there. People just didn’t move to small towns like Bain nowadays.

  After standing for a few minutes in front of the neighbor’s house, I came to the conclusion that I either totally imagined this guy, or he wasn’t home. I slowly made my way back over to my house and called Willow back.

  “Hey, have you heard of anyone moving into the old Henderson house?”

  “No. Why?”

  I hesitated to tell her about the gorgeous guy from the previous night. What if my brain really had made the whole thing up? It was totally possible that in my drunken stupor from the night before, I had imagined the whole incident.

  “Oh, no reason, I just thought I saw a light on over there.”

  “Well, I know the cousin was going to try and rent the house out or sell it or something. But I haven’t heard of anyone being interested. Plus, I think we would have noticed a moving truck if someone had decided to move in.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right. Okay, thanks.”

  I hung up and was even more confused than before. Willow was right. I would have noticed a moving truck over there. I was almost always home.

  This was getting more and more baffling by the moment.

  Chapter 3

  The days went by, and I didn’t see that gorgeous neighbor of mine. I looked out in the morning, snuck a peak around dinner, and even woke up in the middle of the night to see if I saw any movement over there.

  Surely, his appearance could have been some sort of alcohol-induced psychosis, but my body could not accept that. If I closed my eyes, I could still remember what his skin felt like under my fingertips. I still felt the hard muscle of his chest and the warm flush of embarrassment that filled my body.

  I had to get my mind off of him. Only a couple more weeks left before my big photography exhibit, and I still needed at least three more pieces to show.

  Since Michael’s death, I had resigned myself to the recluse life of a photographer. My days, and sometimes my nights, were filled staring through the lens of my Canon EOS professional camera. It had been a gift from Michael and by far one of my most treasured belongings.

  I’d subsidized my sex life with a house full of men after Michael had gone, but those men were carefully curated and not intrusive to the memory of my old boyfriend. Life in the working world couldn’t be as carefully curated so I’d found myself leaning on my photography and avoiding working with people as much as possible.

  When not wrapped up in the world through my camera lens, I was painfully restoring every aspect of my grandparents’ old Victorian home. I hand stripped the wood trim and was about to start the process of staining all the pieces before putting them back up.

  The night was clear and the moon full on this particular night, so I grabbed my camera and went for a walk. A lot of what people didn’t understand about photography was the amount of time an artist took to find just the right picture. It was a delicate balance between the light, objects, and my own skills.

  I often spent hours and even days in search of the perfect lighting for one of my photos. I might find a good location but then spend days looking for the light in the morning or night that would make my vision come to life.

  As I walked down an old dirt road just outside of town, I finally found just the right angle for the picture I wanted. The woods nearby skimmed the bottom of the brilliant moon, and every star in the galaxy was shining brightly in the sky. This was it; this was the light I’d been searching for.

  I lay down and peered through my lens to find the perfect
picture. My heart raced with excitement over what I had finally found. This was the joy of photography, the excitement of finally having my vision come to life.

  So enveloped in my photographic process was I that I did not hear the pounding of footsteps until they were standing right over me. He startled me. Why on earth was anyone out running in the middle of the night?

  “Are you alright?”

  I heard his smooth, calm voice, and my body reacted with instant acknowledgment. It was him; it was the gorgeous neighbor from the other night. I snapped a couple pictures and slowly moved my camera away from my face.

  “Yep, just taking some pictures,” I said looking up from the ground and trying to pretend like it was totally normal to be laying in the middle of the street taking photographs at night.

  “I see that.”

  His quietness was uncomfortable, and I sprang to my feet. In the moonlight, I saw the familiar shirtless figure that I had been searching for over the last several days. I had not imagined him at all, he was real.

  “Where have you been?” I blurted out.

  I couldn’t help myself. I’d been thinking about him since I first saw him. I’d been imagining so many delicious things with this guy. I could have taken him right then and there because my body wanted him more than I could have predicted, and I obviously didn’t have a filter on my thoughts when it came to this guy.

  A smile broke through his cool expression. It was the first real emotion I had seen on his face.

  “Oh, have you been looking for me?” he said as he took a step toward me.

  His movement into my close proximity had by pulse racing; I was more nervous than I remembered being the night I met him. My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and I couldn’t seem to swallow. The power this man had over my thoughts was incredible. His sexual energy was intense and forced me to think about him and me naked. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop the thoughts from rushing through my mind.

  “I came over to thank you for making sure I got home safely the other night.”

  “You really shouldn’t drink and act like a fool; you could have been taken advantage of.”

  My face flushed quickly, but this time, I felt a burn of anger. Who was he to tell me I acted like a fool? I was an adult; I could have a good time with my girlfriends. I was responsible and took a cab.

  Instead of being a gentleman, this guy was quickly turning into someone that I wasn’t at all attracted to. Okay, so I was still physically attracted to him, but a guy who made me feel bad about anything I was doing, wasn’t someone I wanted in my life.

  The whole reason Stanley, Kirk, and Sam had been a great transition for me was because they made me feel good. Not just in the sexual aspects, but those guys really cared about me and wanted me to know it. I couldn’t go back to being around a man who actually thought insulting me was okay.

  “Oh, I’m a fool?”

  The question left my mouth before I could stop myself. I didn’t know this guy at all, but he was awful rude to be saying such a thing to a woman he didn’t know either. What sort of man would even say something so rude?

  “Yes. You let a complete stranger have a key to your house and open your door for you. I could have easily taken you into the house and had my way with you. It’s not safe for a woman to act like that.”

  “I felt safe with you.”

  “Well, you shouldn’t.”

  “I shouldn’t feel safe around you?” I smiled, trying to figure out if this guy was actually being rude or perhaps just horrible at small talk.

  He was trying to pretend like he was a dangerous man; well, maybe he was in some other aspect of his life. But the way he looked at me, I could tell he wouldn’t harm a woman ever. He was a little tactless in his comment, but the longer he looked at me, I realized that he was saying this because he did indeed want to take me into my house and have his way with me.

  “You shouldn’t feel safe around any man. They only have one thing on their mind.”

  Before I could respond, he was there, right next to me. His arm wrapped around my waist, and I felt his hand on my back, pressing me into his sweaty body. I’d been thinking about his hands for days, and I wasn’t about to give up this opportunity.

  Dazed, I just stood there, my camera in one hand and my other hand placed firmly on his chest. Oh, the delight of feeling his skin again. I could have stayed right there in that moment all night. His smell was sweat with a mix of cologne. His eyes weren’t dangerous at all and instead filled with desire.

  I prepared myself to be kissed.

  His lips were only mere inches away from mine, and I could feel myself subconsciously urging him to keep moving closer. I arched my back and moved slightly closer to him to allow this kiss to happen.

  “What would that one thing be?” My breath was quiet and filled with desire.

  I could feel my chest heaving up and down as I tried to tranquil myself. There was just something about this man that I couldn’t stay calm when near him. I surely couldn’t calm down now that his hand was wrapped around my waist.

  “To taste you,” he said.

  His deep brown eyes peered right into my soul. I wiggled a little in his arms, and he adjusted his grip. Then I felt it. Through his running shorts, I could feel the girth of his erection. He wanted me. The way he looked at me, it was like he needed to have me. A primal urge that could not be stopped by anything.

  I smiled and pushed away firmly. This time he released me. I felt my power growing with his desire. This was exactly where I liked to be. I was in charge again. He wanted me so badly that I knew I could push away and still keep him hooked on what the two of us could have together.

  “I should get going,” I said as I looked down at my camera.

  Never in all my life had I had a man so overtly try to sleep with me. I didn’t know if I was impressed with his forwardness or if I should have been angry. Maybe I should have slapped him? But I liked the mix of power that was going on between the two of us. He intrigued me and made me want him more and more.

  “I’ll walk you home,” he said with a sly smile.

  I tried to talk him out of walking me home. He looked like he was just heading out for his run, but since it was the middle of the night, I accepted his offer. Surely I wasn’t ready to give up my time with this man that I’d been looking for over the last several days.

  It was a delicate balance between the sexual desires I had for this man and my hope of keeping him around for longer than a night. He really seemed like the sort of man that could keep me entertained longer and harder than many other men could manage.

  We walked slowly, and I talked while he listened. I shared stories about Bain and how the small town had survived for so many years. It was a totally boring conversation, especially considering he had just told me he wanted to taste me. But I wanted to talk and hoped he would talk too. I’d grown up around the city with my parents and grandparents living there, and I was really proud to be back in the town. Even though it sort of felt like I was giving up on a life in the city, a life as an artist, a life that I was afraid of having.

  He was a gentleman and left me at my door without a word about his need to taste me. I made my way into the house and smiled at the excitement over having this man as a potential lover very soon. By the time I settled in for the night, it was more like morning. I just couldn’t keep my brain off that gorgeous neighbor.

  It killed me that I had, again, forgotten to ask him his name.

  He distracted me so much when he grabbed me that I had forgotten all reasonable thought processes. Surely there was something wrong with me. What ordinary girl had feelings so strong about a man whom she didn’t even know his name?

  I figured his name was something exotic. He had dark brown hair with matching deep brown eyes. His olive skin was smooth as perfection. He had to have an exotic name to match his exotic appearance. Perhaps it was Xavier or Maximus, or something even more interesting.

  As I drifted
off to sleep, I could still feel the pressure of his hard bulge up against me. I closed my eyes and remembered how it felt to have such a gorgeous man desire me.

  When morning came, I was determined. I was tired of thinking about my neighbor as ‘the gorgeous man,’ I wanted to know his name. With my coffee in hand, I walked casually over to his house and knocked on the door. Remembering back to the evening before, I suddenly didn’t want him to answer. I started to back away from the door, but he answered.

  “Yes,” he said with a grin.

  He was again without his shirt; I thought maybe that was a problem for him, perhaps he just didn’t like to wear shirts. It certainly wasn’t a problem for me! His hands were covered in paint, and he wiped them on his pants as he looked at me.

  “I need to know your name,” I said without any introduction.

  His eyes widened, and he took a step out of his house and toward me. Even in that brief moment, I felt the sexual energy practically dripping off of this man. How was it that I’d ever known a life without this level of excitement? I longed for this man. I was wet with excitement for him. I couldn’t wait to feel him inside of me, yet I still didn’t know his name.

  “What do you need this information for?”

  His eyes looked deep into mine, and I could hardly gather the words I needed to answer him. I desperately wanted to answer him, finally readying myself to speak.

  “If we are neighbors, we should know each other’s names. You already know mine.”

  “Yes, Isabella. It is such a beautiful name. My name is Marcus,” he said dryly.

  “Hello Marcus,” I said with my own wicked smile.

  I felt better instantly. I knew his name and could actually stop addressing him as ‘the gorgeous man next door.’ I froze for a moment as I imagined how his name would sound rolling off my lips while he was on top of me. How would I scream out his name while I orgasmed? I couldn’t help it; I wanted to know.