She was at the stove when I arrived but didn't realize it until she sensed a presence in the room with her. She turned then, and when she saw me, her hands flew to her chest in shock. "My God," she exclaimed, and it took her a few more minutes to breathe normally. "What are you doing?" she cried.
"What are you doing?" I asked quietly. "You didn't tell me you were coming."
"I wanted to surprise you."
I watched her, glad to see her but unhappy at the timing. I needed space to figure out my thoughts regarding Carson. I walked away and headed towards my bedroom, and she came after me, just as I had expected.
"Did you go on a business trip?"
"I did," I responded as I began to take off my watch and jacket. She watched as I stripped down to my underwear. "Are you going to keep watching me?”
She leaned against the door and smiled at me. "I haven't seen you in eight months. It seems as though you’ve become even more handsome.”
I went into the bathroom and shut the door.
"Come out after you're done,” she said. "I'm making you dinner.”
I locked myself in the shower stall and shut my eyes as I stood under the scalding hot water.
I was going to let go of Carson. This trip had shown me just how weakened my mind had become towards her.
I wasn't in love with her, but I felt like my mother had been towards my father. Weak, and at the mercy of the other person. I had allowed my desire for Carson to push me to the edge of the cliff. I was so disappointed in myself.
I took as much time as I needed in the shower, put on jeans and a t-shirt and entered the dining room to find a set table of food.
"Why not eat at the counter?” I asked my mom, as I gazed at all the cutlery she had set out.
"You probably never eat at home,” she said, “your kitchen was spotless. I want us to have a sophisticated and proper family meal.” She settled down beside me on the table while I took my seat at the head. We ate quietly for a few moments with her constantly watching me, but I ignored her and focused on my thoughts.
I wanted to care about what Carson was having to deal with, but I stopped myself each time, unwilling to sink further into this pit I had already begun to start digging for myself. She had been pursuing what she wanted for ten years and now she was being forced to resort to... less than desirable means to be able to continue on that path. I was one of the lucky few who were given an early break, and although it took a constant grind on my part and insane amounts of work, I had been able to see a steady influx of success. I shook my head again to rid her from my thoughts and focused on the meal before me.
"What's the problem?" My mom asked, and I lifted my gaze to hers.
"There's nothing wrong, why do you ask?”
"You keep sighing and shaking your head, and your shoulders are slumped. What's gotten into you?"
“Nothing,” I said and sent her a smile. "I'm fine. Why did you come over?"
"I just came to see you. Can't I just visit my son?"
I didn't trust her words, so I gave her a look and returned to my meal.
"I'm getting married soon."
For a moment, I stilled in my seat at the announcement, and then I resumed my eating. From there onward, however, I was unable to taste the food.
"You're not asking me any questions,” she said.
"Let's talk about this tomorrow,” I said and put my fork down. “Thanks for the meal, but I'm really tired. I'll keep it in the fridge and have it for breakfast.”
"Just leave it there, I'll handle it,” she said.
I was in bed a few minutes later and still unable to sleep, so I sent a text message to Ida.
Has Carson been found?
Not yet came her response. I went over the messages I had sent to Carson earlier and reread them all. Then I flung the phone away from my reach and pulled the duvet over my head.
The next morning, I headed into the office before my mom woke up. I kept myself busy and by the time lunch came around I was starving. I wanted to have a meal alone and away from the office, so I put my coat on and was about to leave when I got a text message.
I'm at reception. They’re not letting me in.
I stared at the sender it indicated for a few seconds before Carson's name properly registered in my brain. Immediately I returned back to my desk to pick up the intercom but then I stopped myself.
I was too eager to see her and that was trouble for me. If she did not feel the same way, then I had nothing to do with her. So, I sent her a text back.
Why do you want to see me?
I didn't expect a reply, however, her response came in a few minutes later.
To discuss our marriage.
♡
CARSON
Xander’s company’s headquarters was quite a sight to behold.
I was ushered through the glass and marble reception area and up to the top floor of the skyrise, still finding it impossible to comprehend why anyone who owned all of this would stoop to working at a coffee shop just for a girl. It made me feel uncomfortable, as though some sort of joke was being had at my expense.
Soon I arrived at Xander’s office, and if my heart had been light enough, my mouth would have dropped open in awe. But I looked away from the grandiosity and settled my gaze on the man I had come to see.
He rose the moment I walked in and for the first few seconds, all we did was stare at each other. Eventually, he spoke. "I wasn't expecting you.”
I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just got straight to the point. “Will you marry me?” I asked.
He blinked. "What are the terms?”
“A quiet marriage and an equally quiet divorce. One year.”
“Will your parents accept a quiet marriage?”
“That's not for you to worry about, this is between the both of us. I am attracted to you so we will share a bed and have an active sex life together, but that’s it. We are to keep out of each other's personal lives and circles to avoid forming any deeper attachment, and most importantly, I will spend this time working solely on my writing. If you are able in any way to employ your influence in securing an opportunity for me, then, of course, it will be highly appreciated.”
“It seems that you would be gaining more from this than I would be,” I said.
“Well, these are my terms. You’re free to accept or reject them.”
“I will think about it,” he eventually said, “and give you my response.”
♡
XANDER
I arrived home later that day and found my mom seated by the television.
She laughed at the talk show she how she was watching, and when she noticed my arrival, immediately rose and came over to me. She looked so peaceful and lighthearted, more than I had ever seen her. "How was work?” she chirped. "You ran out on me this morning."
"Let's talk,” I said to her and headed over to the dining table. "When do you plan on getting remarried?”
"In about a month or so."
"Why?" I asked.
“Because I want to share my life with someone that I care about.”
"What about all the trouble that it brings?"
She laughed gently at that. "Life itself is full of trouble but do we decide not to live because of it? I've been seeing Ryan for about a year now, and I'm ready to move on to another phase. It's a few years without your dad now and even though those times were heartbreaking, it is time to move on.”
"Marriage puts the other person’s life in your hands, their joy and pain... and wellbeing. You've been disappointed before. What makes you think you won't be disappointed again?”
“You’re thinking too much, Xander.
"I'm thinking too much because I saw you battered and miserable, and broken for so long and yet you didn't leave. If it happens this time around, if you're unhappy in any way, I will not stand for it.”
"Ryan is not a bad man...”
"And neither was my father.”
“He was,” my moth
er said. “He hit me.”
“Despite his faults, he did love you, that much I know.”
“Not enough to treat me well. Or you.”
I rose to my feet then and gave her my announcement. "I'm getting married, too.”
She looked confused. “You just—what? What does that mean... what are you talking about?"
“It'll only be for a short while. A year at most. She'll be here tomorrow morning for breakfast." I left the sitting room and on my way, pulled my phone out of my pocket to call Carson.
"Could you be here for breakfast tomorrow? I'll send a car to pick you up.” I said to her.
“Sure, I'll be ready.”
♡
CARSON
I put down the phone and finished opening the bottle of champagne. Bethany had just been promoted to assistant manager of her department, and we were celebrating.
“We should go out," Ida suggested for the umpteenth time, but Bethany threw an almond at her.
"It's Monday."
I brought the bottle over and sat with my friends.
"You've been so quiet," Bethany commented.
"And distant," Ida added.
I smiled simply, and the room went quiet again. After counting to three I blurted it out. "I'm getting married."
“We know,” said Bethany, confused.
“To Xander,” I said.
Bethany squealed. "How did that happen?”
“I’m not surprised,” Ida said. “He came to work at the coffee shop just to get close to you. I was almost shocked to death when I saw him there.”
I glared at the both of them, and realizing how they had deceived me then, they both lowered their heads and looked away.
“I can’t believe you two.”
“We didn’t know why he was acting like that, and he asked me to keep it a secret.”
“So, you chose not to inform me that he was a billionaire?”
“You scored though,” Bethany said. “I’m so fucking jealous. Doesn't that mean that David is also drowning in money?”
“Not as much as Xander, but there’s not much to pity him for.”
“Wow, I feel like I’m losing out in life here. How can you both be involved with billionaires while I have no one by my side?”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “What about…” I couldn't remember his name.
“Exactly,” Bethany spat.
“I have nothing to do with David,” Ida said and slugged down her champagne.
“Uh huh, that was why you had him on the private plane with us.”
“Xander asked for him, not me.”
“What private plane?” I asked and they both turned to me.
“She doesn't know,” Ida said.
Bethany looked like she was about to collapse from envy. “Your husband to be was the one who flew us down to Connecticut on his private plane.”
“Wait, isn't that the plane I came in the day my mom called me?”
“That’s true,” Ida said. “I forgot about that. That plane is Xander’s”
My eyes widened in wonder. Again, why the hell did he come to work in a coffee shop?
“So, when did you both get closer?” Bethany asked. “While you were away?”
I nodded absent-mindedly, my mind occupied with all the things I had to process. I eventually just decided to go to bed, so I finished up my glass and stood up.
“Have you set a date?”
I shook my head. “No, but it should be soon,”
“That’s going to be a huge wedding. No single expense will be spared.”
There wasn’t going to be a huge wedding, but I didn't bother telling them that.
“Are you alright though?” Ida asked, just before I left. ‘You don't seem very excited.”
“I’m just tired,” I said. “Keep celebrating, I’m going to bed.” They nodded to me and soon I was under Bethany’s comforter and ready to fall asleep.
The next morning, I awoke late to an empty house, about an hour before the car Xander was sending was to arrive. I put a few curls in my hair, made good use of Bethany’s red lipstick, and lined my eyelids. I had just slipped my feet into a pair of flats when I received the call to head out to the curb.
Summer was slowly fading and autumn fast approaching, but the weather thankfully was still warm enough to allow my above the knee dress.
I walked out of the apartment building to meet the chauffeur and jet-black Mercedes that Xander had sent for me, and the moment I got in, it hit me that it was his. It smelled of Xander, his musk, and tobacco scent that was intoxicating and impossible to ignore. The interior shined with glistening leather and polished steel, and it began to agitate my nerves so I turned my gaze out the window, and tried to calm myself down with the view of the city as we passed by.
Soon we arrived at his apartment, and I was received at the door by a housekeeper named Brenda. She had a kind smile and looked no younger than my own mother, and instantly made me feel at ease.
“Miss Oliveira?” she confirmed, and I nodded in response.
“We’ve been expecting you. Please come in.”
I followed her into a brightly lit foyer with a bouquet of lilies on a huge glass stand, and the scent of freshly brewed coffee permeated the apartment.
I didn’t expect anything less of Xander’s home; at least his love of the beverage was still true, but as I stood in the middle of the open-spaced apartment with windows on every side, I was truly struck by the extent of his wealth. It felt like I was suspended in the middle of the sky, the floor to ceiling windows allowing me an unobstructed view of the city.
“Carson…” My name was called, and my heart skipped a beat.
I turned around to meet a tall and slender woman who I couldn't have mistaken for anyone but Xander’s mother. She had on a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but she wasn’t completely rid of the evidence of wealth for on her wrist was a heavy gold bracelet, and on her lobes, simple pearl earrings. Her hair looked so much like mine with its short and flirty waves, and on her lips, was a pale pink lipstick. She was stunning.
“I’m Miranda,” she said to me, her smile electric.
“I’m Carson Oliveira,” I said, suddenly nervous. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“I think I should be the one saying that,” she said to me. “I never knew the day would come where I would actually get to meet a girl that Xander wanted to marry.”
I had no response to that but a simple smile. She took my hand and led me to the kitchen. It was all white marble and stainless-steel appliances, and it had sunlight filtering beautifully through it.
“What would you like for breakfast?” she asked me. “Sorry for making you come in so early but…”
“Xander.” I completed her statement for her, and she laughed softly in response.
“I’m making some pancakes for him. Would you like to have some?”
“Sure,” I said and leaned against the counter as she headed toward the stove. I was surprised that she was cooking herself.
“Coffee is ready,” she said. “Please have some.”
“I don't really like coffee,” I said to her.
She seemed surprised. “Xander loves it you know,”
“I know, he is a skilled barista.”
“Well, he had to learn that out of necessity. What do you like then?”
“Water or iced tea, please.”
“You’re simple, I like that.”
“Simple is too kind. I’m just plain.”
Just then my phone began to ring so I pulled it out to see that it was a call from Xander. “Hello?” I answered.
“Where are you?”
“I’m with your mom in the kitchen,” I replied.
“Alright, I’ll be right there.”
I hung up then and met his mom smiling at me. “How long have you two known each other?”
“A few months,” I responded.
“Isn't it too early to get married? It’s a serious commitment
.”
I shrugged in response and turned away, my heart pricking me for putting such little effort into trying to impress her. I just didn't have the strength within me to try anymore, especially for something that would be ending as quickly as it had begun.
We heard footsteps then and I looked up to see Xander walk in with his hair slicked back as though he had just taken a shower. He had on a simple dark t-shirt and some dark pants.
“Hey,” he said, and I waved in response. He stopped before me, his eyes roving around my face and then down my frame as though trying to see if I was alright.
“Let’s sit down.”
“Mom, come over too.”
A few minutes later, we were seated at their dining room table, a bouquet of flowers mounted on it.
“I’ll be marrying Carson, Mom,” he said. “I’ve met her parents in Connecticut and they’ve given us their blessing.”
“It’s so sudden,” she said nervously. She seemed as though she wanted to say more but was trying her best to hold back. “Do you both know each other well enough?”
“We do,” Xander replied, but his mom frowned slightly at him.
“I was talking to Carson,” She turned to me expectantly.
“As much as we need to,” I answered.
“Are you both in love?” she asked. I didn’t know what to say to that but luckily Xander stepped in.
“We’re not, but we have joint interests. We’ll be satisfied together.”
She turned to me and I confirmed his statement with a nod. I felt exhausted, so I reached out for the jug of fruit juice that I suddenly noticed on the table.
“Satisfied?” she said. “How sweet. Have you set a date?” Miranda asked.
“Friday,” Xander said.
“What?” His mother’s eyes almost fell out of their sockets.
I was surprised as well but determined not to show it.
“What kind of wedding can you have in four days?”
“A courthouse wedding,” Xander answered.
“Why the hell are you having a courthouse wedding?”
When neither of us answered her, she rose to her feet and said in a defiant voice. “I will not accept this. If you are to get married, then you will have an appropriate ceremony. Why are you both acting as though this isn’t an important event?”
Damaged Love Page 52