by Kelly Utt
“As for my daughter,” Roddy continues. “One of us needs to be here visiting every day, all day. I sure hope she’s released soon, but we have no idea how long she’s going to need to remain in the hospital. I also prefer that someone stays with her overnight. Especially because we still don’t understand the threat we’re facing. We don’t know if someone may try to get to Ali in the hospital and harm her. I think it’s best if one of us is on guard for that, pretty much all the time.“
“I can stay awhile,” Nicky offers. “I’ve already spoken to my husband and the other partners at my architecture firm in New York City. I’ve arranged to work remotely for at least the next two weeks as needed. I can camp out in my sister’s room for much of the time and do some work on my laptop while I sit with her.”
“Is your daughter okay with that?” Marjorie asks.
“She was already at school when I spoke to Luis this morning, but we both expect that she’ll be fine with it. You all know how she feels about her Aunt Ali. She’ll want me to be here helping her.”
“Thank you, son” Roddy says to Nicky. “You’re a good brother. I’m very proud of you.”
It’s touching to watch my brother-in-law and my father-in-law interact together. They are two of the very best. I hope that when I’m Roddy’s age and the boys are Nicky’s age, we’ll be much the same.
“And here I thought maybe we overdid it on the size of the vacation rental house,“ Liam says with a chuckle.
“I know,” I agree. “Plenty of room for everyone. It worked out just right.“
“So that takes care of the boys and Ali, for the basics. Is there anything else in that regard we should discuss?“ Roddy asks.
“I’m sure you’ll work it all out,” I say. “I feel terrible that Ethan isn’t able to start preschool back in Ithaca as he planned. Ali and I wanted him to have a year of low-key introduction to school before he starts kindergarten next fall. We had a preschool all picked out and signed up.“
“That’s still a few weeks off,” Roddy says. “Maybe Ali will be well enough to travel back home in time for Ethan to go to preschool as planned.“
“He’d love that,“ I say.
We haven’t mentioned it yet, but we all know it may not be possible to return to any semblance of normal life anytime soon, what with the media hounding us and the threats to our safety.
“Let’s take it one step at a time,” Marjorie says. “We realize preschool is important to Ethan. If it all possible, we will get him there. And if not, maybe we can make some sort of homeschool preschool that he can get excited about. I know it’s not the same, but we’ll figure something out.”
Mom’s eyes open wide and she smiles upon hearing this. “Oh, great idea, Marjorie,” Mom says. “I like the idea of a homeschool preschool. Maybe we could divide up subjects and each teach different things. I’m sure Leo would like to get in on that, too. I did a lot of educational things with George when he was a little boy and it was fun for us both. We took a bunch of field trips. I’d love to get out with the boys and explore some of the local areas and to then do lessons around the things we see and experience. I mean, I know we have to be careful about where we take them. But the possibilities are exciting. I’d love to be a part of expanding their world in that way.”
I’m touched. My extended family is problem-solving even better than I expected. Maybe we’re all going to be okay.
“Done,” Roddy says. “Anything else?”
Liam looks like he has something on his mind but he’s debating whether or not to say it. “What is it, Liam?” I ask.
“I’m just thinking about the legal aspects here. I’m no attorney, but I wonder if a legal guardianship should be put in place so that Roddy, Marjorie, and Linette can make decisions for the boys in case Ali is unable to and you can’t be reached.“
“You’re right,“ I say. “I hadn’t thought about that. But we should do it.”
“Good man, Liam,” Roddy says. “Let’s see how things go when we talk with Dr. Wong. If Ali is awake and recovering, then maybe that won’t be needed. But if she’s not, we absolutely should put something in place. I’ll bet there’s someone here at the hospital who can help us with that type of document. If not, I’ll have my attorney in the City draw something up.“
“That sounds like a plan,“ I say.
“Truly though, folks, how are we going to keep the boys safe?” Mom asks. I bristle at the thought of that becoming an issue. Of course, I know it’s a huge issue. But there isn’t an easy answer.
“We’re going to keep them in our sight at all times,” Roddy says. “We’re going to keep them at the house most of the time and we will keep close tabs on the security system. Taye will continue to help us in that regard. I’m going to keep a loaded weapon in the home to assist in handling the unlikely event of an intruder getting in. And beyond that, well, we will discuss things as they come up. I don’t expect it to be a problem now that we understand everything we do about Clive.“
Marjorie nods. I can tell she and Roddy have already discussed this.
“Okay,“ Mom says. She sounds skeptical, but I know she trusts Roddy‘s judgment. And she knows there’s more to the story about Clive that she hasn’t heard yet. Mostly, I think she’s probably still feeling guilty about letting Ethan go with Cleves accomplice yesterday after thinking he was a real nurse.
“Is that it?“ Roddy says.
“Other than for the business, yeah,” Liam says. “Should we talk about the business?“
Marjorie and Mom look at each other. Neither one of them wants to be involved with our new venture, so they excuse themselves and step out. Nicky looks curious. He hasn’t heard much about our business plans. But realizing this isn’t the time to get caught up, he exits and follows Mom and Marjorie. I assume they’re heading up to Ali’s room. Once they’re gone, the rest of us move seats and form a tighter group. Roddy leans back in his chair and laces his hands behind his head. He’s letting me take the lead during this portion of the discussion.
“So,” I begin. “Liam was supposed to be flying back to Ithaca this evening to get the business going. Obviously, that’s not going to happen now. With the two of us gone and Roddy tied up in helping with the boys and Ali here in Lake Tahoe, I’m not sure where that leaves us. What are you guys thinking?“
“Man,” Duke says. “I don’t know. I am the junior guy here. I’m ready to do anything you ask of me. But you’ve got to call the shots.”
“I feel the same way,” Taye says. “I’m okay waiting until you get back, but I know how important it is to you to get this thing going. If you want us to step up and do that in your absence, I’m happy to pull my weight.”
“I can devote some time,” Roddy says. “Because I’ll have Marjorie and Linette‘s help with the boys plus Nicky here to sit with Ali, I can call the shots if you want me to take the lead on getting the business up and running. I know Duke and Taye are both here in town for a couple more days. We can get together tomorrow and make a plan. Then, I can instruct the two of them on next steps when they return home.”
Liam and I look at each other. We both shake our heads up and down without hesitation.
“Absolutely,“ I say.
“Yes,“ Liam echoes.
“Done,” Roddy says. “I’ll get in touch with my attorney right now and have him draw up some paperwork. You can sign it this evening so it’s complete before you guys leave. Duke, Taye, and I will get the ball rolling. I know you want drones in the air capable of surveillance as soon as possible. As you know, I don’t have the aerospace engineering expertise that the two of you do, but I know how to run a business. I can hire aerospace engineers and put them to work.“
“Wow,“ I say. “I’m in awe, Roddy. Seriously. When I first heard I was being called back for a mission, I thought things around here might fall apart. But instead, it looks like you’re going to take care of every last thing and maybe even make things better. I don’t have words to adequately t
hank you.“
“As I said, George,” Roddy replies. “This is my family. and my family is my legacy. I’m going to give you my best.“
We end the meeting with a round of enthusiastic handshakes, slaps on the back, and bro hugs. I’m excited to see what Roddy, Duke, and Taye can accomplish while I’m gone.
Maybe we’re all going to be okay.
We meet with Dr. Wong as planned. I sit and hold Ali’s hand as nurses adjust her medication in ways they hope will bring her out of the medically induced coma and allow her to wake up. I can feel Ali’s consciousness there with me as we wait to see if the changes in medication will take effect. Everyone is hopeful and waits eagerly, expecting her to open her eyes at any moment. I think Ali herself expects to open her eyes at any moment. But much to our great dismay, it doesn’t work. My beautiful wife’s eyes do not open. Her body needs more time to heal. It isn’t ready to wake up yet.
Dr. Wong does his best to reassure us that this isn’t out of the ordinary. He reminds me of how he told me not to get my hopes up. He says these things just take time and that we often can’t predict how they’re going to go. He seems to feel genuinely bad for me when he hears that I’ve been called back to active duty. But I know there’s nothing else he can do. He is already doing his best. There’s a bit of good news though, in that Ali is still pregnant with our baby. The pregnancy is hanging on, even surprising Dr. Wong. He tells me that, at this point, there’s a decent chance the baby will survive this, assuming Ali does, of course. He says he’s cautiously optimistic about them both. I wish the news was better, but I’ll take it. I’m thrilled that our baby is hanging on in there. I know Ali would be, too. I hope she knows.
I sit with my wife for a while and talk to her about everything that’s happening. I don’t know if she can hear me for sure, but it seems like maybe she can. I figure I might as well do the talking out loud anyway, just in case. I even sing to her for a little while. I sing You Are My Sunshine to her softly as I gently stroke the hair above her ear. It’s a silly little song and probably a silly gesture. But it makes me feel good. I hope it does her, too. She’s well aware that I’m not much of a singer, so I hope she appreciates the effort. If she hears me.
When it’s time to go, I kiss my wife goodbye on her top lip, which is still distended from the ventilator. I hate to see her with all of these tubes and wires, but I know it’s her under there. Alessandra Davies is still with me and I won’t give up on her. I explain to my wife that I have to spend the evening with our boys, to tell them I’m going away. I know she’d understand. I promise to stop by and give her another kiss on my way to Vegas early tomorrow morning. I leave the room as Nicky goes back in to take up his post by his sister’s side. I ride home in the Jeep with Liam, Mom, and Marjorie. This time, Roddy squeezes in with us, too. He wants to be around for the boys this evening when they hear the news.
A rental car company drops off a car that Liam and I will be able to report for duty tomorrow morning. We use a different company this time, so we don’t have to worry about the employee who put tracking devices on the vehicles we rented at the Reno airport. For some reason that I can’t explain, it feels like the threat to my family’s safety has died down, at least for the moment. Maybe it’s wishful thinking on my part, but it feels like we’re getting a respite on that front. We need one while we deal with mine and Liam‘s departure. Even a brief respite is welcomed.
Maybe, we’re all going to be okay.
6
Brotherhood
As I step in the front door and see my three little boys, each with bright eyes, eager to embrace me, I suddenly realize that this conversation is going to be one of the hardest of my life.
Joe is sitting with them at the dining room table and they all look happy as can be. I’m glad. It makes me feel like Joe will be a positive influence who will help them get through this. Ethan is coloring in one of the coloring books Joe got him while Leo eats a snack of cheese and crackers and Will watches from Joe’s knee. The four of them look like old friends who have known each other forever. The boys are completely at ease in Joe’s presence.
“Daddy!“ Ethan exclaims as he slams his crayon down on the table, climbs out of his chair, and runs towards me.
“How how are my good boys?“ I ask as I kneel on the floor and open my arms wide.
Ethan runs and practically leaps into my arms. I hug him tight as he leans his little head down softly on my shoulder. This is the best feeling in the world.
Leo can’t get to me on his own due to the cast on his legs and little Will isn’t yet old enough to get around, so I stand up while moving Ethan to one hip and I walk over to embrace my little boys. Leo puts one arm around my back and leans hard against my side from his place in the chair.
“Hello, Daddy!” Leo says in his sweet, cheerful little voice.
I take little Will from Joe’s arms and place him on my other hip opposite Ethan. He giggles and smiles as I kiss his cheek.
“It looks like you guys are having a lot of fun here,“ I say as I wink at Joe, thanking him.
“We sure are,” Joe says proudly. “We’ve been coloring and playing with toy cars and even watching some shows about sharks on TV.”
“Yeah, daddy,” Ethan says. “They were big sharks with lots of big teeth. And one guy, he was swimming in the water with the big sharks.”
“Really?” I say in mock disbelief. “That guy must be crazy!” All three of my boys laugh at my dramatic reaction.
“He was crazy, Daddy!” Ethan says. “He was swimming right in the water beside them. Right there. Inside the water!”
“Good thing we don’t have sharks in our lakes,“ I say.
Leo and Ethan look at me intently, like they hadn’t considered that possibility but are relieved to hear it’s not a threat.
“No sharks in Lake Tahoe,“ I say. “Just fish.“
“Just fish,” Leo parrots.
“And no sharks in Cayuga Lake at home in Ithaca,” I say. “Just fish.“
“Just fish,” Leo and Ethan say together this time.
Joe chuckles. He seems to be having a genuinely good time. Come to think of it, he makes a really good grandpa. I wonder if he has any kids or grandkids of his own. I haven’t heard of any, but then again, I haven’t had time to quiz him on the details of his personal history.
“I’m making hamburgers and grilled cheese for dinner,” Marjorie announces. “Would any boys like to help me?“
“Me!” Liam says with a chuckle.
Marjorie laughs. “I had littler boys in mind,“ she says. “But I won’t turn down extra help. Anybody else going to join me and Uncle Liam while we cook?“
“Me!“ Leo says. “I help.”
“Good,” Marjorie says. “Thank you for your help.”
Liam goes over and picks up Leo, then moves a barstool into the kitchen so our little guy can be positioned near the counter to help cook despite the casts on his legs.
Mom comes and takes little Will out of my arms. “I’ve got him,“ she says. “You spend some time with Ethan.“ I nod. This is a good idea.
Ethan is going to need more explanation than the other two, based on his age alone. I should allow more time to talk with him. I’m not sure I want to do it before he eats supper though. Kids this age need to be fed and rested before they can be expected to concentrate and handle themselves in difficult situations. Hell, people of any age do better when they’re fed and rested before having to handle themselves in difficult situations. I decide to begin by talking to Ethan about Ali’s condition. I know he must be wondering whether or not she’s awake today.
“Ethan, my boy,” I say as I turn towards him and shift him to my other hip. “How about you and I walk down on the dock and look at the lake for a little while until supper is ready? Maybe we’ll see some fish.”
“Okay, Daddy,” he says. “I’d like to see some fish.”
Joe winks at me this time, offering his support. All of us adults know exactl
y what we’re doing as we attempt to facilitate the most positive discussion possible this evening. Luckily, we’re all on the same page. It’s important that we appear calm and in control to create a sense of normalcy for the boys.
I continue holding Ethan as I walk outside onto the deck then down the stairs and out onto the dock. He could walk by himself, but I want to keep him close for as long as I can. I don’t mind carrying him. He smiles a little as we go, although I think he can sense that something new is wrong. He wasn’t far off base when he asked me this morning whether or not something bad had happened while he was sleeping. He’s an intuitive boy. For all I know, he sensed the orders coming to take me away before I even received the phone call. When I finally set him down, we walk around the edges of the dock for a little while, peering over into the water as we look for fish. There aren’t many fish in Lake Tahoe. We don’t see a single one during our search. We discuss the marine life in the area and I reaffirm that no sharks live here.
Once Ethan loses interest in searching for fish, we each settle into an Adirondack chair, the same way Joe and I did this morning. Ethan scoots his little behind all the way to the back. His legs barely reach the end of the seat and don’t dangle down like an adult’s legs would. He looks so cute sitting there. His spirit is old and wise. It’s more expensive than his little body. We sit quietly for quite a while, both staring out at the lake. I wonder if my boy feels healed by nature the same way I do. Water soothes my soul every time. I decide to let him speak first. When he’s ready, he begins just as I suspected he would.
“Daddy?” he asks. “Did you see Mommy today?”
“I did,” I say. “I saw her and I talked to her doctor.”
“Is she awake?”