“What Corey?”
“Corey, from Edenwald. The one you was cool with.”
Oh Lord, here we go with this shit. What the hell that fool done got himself into? I thought.
“Nah, you know I been in here. What happened?”
“Nah, this happened before you went to the hospital. Some dude walked up on him and shot him multiple times.”
I stared at her trying to see if she was playing.
“Are you serious?” I asked in shock.
I knew I didn’t fuck with him, and I wished he’d just disappear for good, but that’s still my baby daddy. This news was very disturbing.
“I’m dead-ass serious. Yo’ ass don’t watch the news? It was all over NBC and TV One a week and a half ago. They said he was in critical condition.”
This shit just never ended. I knew Josiah wasn’t done with all his questioning. I had no idea what I would tell him if Corey didn’t make it.
“Do they know who shot him?”
“Hell no, bitch. Let me find out y’all had something going on. You look like you ’bout to cry.”
I wished this bitch would shut up. I knew she had no idea that Corey and I fucked around and that he was Josiah’s father. There was no way I was going to put my business out there like that.
“Nah, we were friends. I’m just shocked to hear this. I wonder if Hassan heard about this.”
“What the fuck you worried about that bitch-ass nigga for? Look how he beat you up. Josiah told me everything. I’m happy you got his ass locked up ’cause he ain’t no man. He’s a pussy, and you need to leave his ass alone,” she yelled.
“I’m grown. I know what I need to do,” I snapped.
“Girl, bye. You getting upset over a nigga that takes you for a punching bag. You need help,” she said sarcastically.
“You know what? Just drop it. It’s my fucking life, and if I choose to stay with him, then I’ll do just that.”
That was the end of the conversation for me. It was taking everything in me not to jump on this bitch while she was driving. Who the fuck did she think she was talking to? It was my pussy, and I’d do whatever the fuck I wanted to do with it. I remained quiet for the rest of the ride. As soon as she pulled up, I got out of the car.
“Do you need me to come in with you?”
“Hell no, bitch. I don’t ever want to see yo’ ass again,” I said as I walked off.
“You know what, Imani? Grow the fuck up,” she yelled as she pulled off.
I stuck my middle finger up, walked up the stairs, and opened the door. I was happy to be home. I hoped Josiah wasn’t home, because I’d had enough of everyone’s opinion of my fucking life. Can a bitch just live? I thought.
* * *
The first thing I checked was the camcorder that was in my room. It was still in place. I locked my door, sat on the bed, and started watching it. Everything was on there, from Hassan professing his love, to him fucking me, and also him beating me up. It was painful as I watched how he beat me as if I were just a ho in the streets. I started crying again as I saw my own movie in black and white. I looked into his eyes, and all I saw was hate and anger. I wondered when it changed.
I picked up the phone and dialed Destiny’s number. I had everything she needed on tape. First, I needed to delete the part where he was hitting me because I didn’t want that bitch to see how he was treating me.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Hey, how you doing?” I asked.
“Good. I meant to call you. Was it you that got Hassan locked up?”
“Nah, that wasn’t me. Might be one of his other bitches,” I lied.
“Oh, OK. Do you have anything for me?”
“Yes, I have it all for you. Do you have the rest of my money?” I cut straight to the chase.
“Sure, I got it. I’ll call you and let you know when we’re going to meet up.”
“A’ight,” I said before hanging up the phone.
I was happy the bitch was keeping her word. I was broke and had tons of bills that needed to be paid. I didn’t plan on staying here. As soon as I got the money, my son and I were leaving. Starting over fresh might not be a bad idea, after all.
* * *
After Josiah left for school, I decided to visit Corey in the hospital. I hoped his ass wasn’t on all that bullshit of us being together. He needed to accept he was just a fuck—nothing more, nothing less. I parked in the hospital parking lot and sashayed off into the building.
“Hello, sir. I’m here to see Corey Griffin.”
“What’s your name, and can I see your identification?”
“Sure. My name is Imani Gibson.” I handed him my driver’s license.
“OK, ma’am. He’s in room 102B.”
I took my ID and walked off. They were acting like they had this nigga under high security and shit. I took the elevator up to the second floor. His room was the first one on the right. I walked into the room and noticed his sister sitting by his bed.
“Hello,” I said as I walked closer.
“Hey, may I help you?”
“My name is Imani. I’m a friend of Corey’s,” I nervously said.
“E-manyi... That name sounds familiar.”
“Hey, Mani.” Corey opened his eyes and spoke with difficulty.
“Hey, Corey. How you doing?” I stepped closer to his bed.
“Sis, this is Imani, Josiah’s mama.”
“Oh, OK. Corey told me he had a son with you. I would love to meet my nephew.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I wasn’t here for all that. I only stopped by to see how he was doing. I didn’t respond. Instead, I smiled at her.
“Corey, how you feeling?” I said as I smiled at him.
“I’m fucked up, B.”
“Corey, do you have any idea who did this to you?”
“Nah, but I’m thinking it’s your boyfriend. He’s the only one I got beef with,” he said in a weak tone.
“Boy, what you talking ’bout? Hassan wouldn’t do no shit like that to you,” I said.
I was kind of furious that he would think Hassan tried to kill him. I knew Hassan had his ways and all, but he wouldn’t go as far as to try to kill somebody.
“Like I said, my gut is telling me his pussy ass had something to do with this. With God’s help, when I get outta here, I’m going to handle that nigga myself.”
“Corey, stop it. Don’t be getting yourself riled up,” his sister interrupted and rushed to his side.
“I ain’t come up here to hear all this ’bout Hassan. I just wanted to know how you were doing.”
“Imani, or whatever the hell your name is, my brother is in here fighting for his life. I don’t know what’s going on between Hassan and my brother, but I plan on letting the police know about it. So if you know anything about who shot my brother, it would be best if you start talking.” She stared me down.
“Listen, chick, I don’t know anything, so I don’t care what you tell the police. I only stopped by to check on a friend, but I see I ain’t welcome up in here.
“Corey, I hope you feel better soon. I’m out.”
“Aye, Mani. Can you bring my li’l man up here to see me? I want to see him.”
I turned to him. “Corey, Josiah don’t need to get involved in any of this. He has no idea you’re his father, and I don’t think the first time y’all meet should be up in here.”
“Excuse me, don’t you think you’ve caused my brother enough pain by keeping his child away from him all these years? What kind of woman are you? You have a man that loves you and his child, but you prefer to play a side bitch to another woman’s husband, lying to that nigga, making him think he’s the daddy. Enough is enough already. All my brother wants is to be a father,” she spat at me with anger in her voice.
“This is between your brother and me. I didn’t fuck you, so you have no business with me. Your brother knew what the deal was from the beginning, so he can stop playing the fucking victim. I’m done explai
ning myself to you, so get the hell out of my way before I move you my-damn-self.”
“Bitch, I wish you would, but you get a pass this time because my brother is here fighting for his life. The next time we meet, it won’t be so friendly—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Corey started coughing, and his machine started beeping.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
A nurse rushed in, and then the doctors followed.
“Code blue, code blue! Please get out of the room,” a nurse yelled as they gathered around his bed.
I walked out of the room, even though I wanted to stay and see what was going on. I decided to leave, not because I was scared of his dumb-ass sister, but because I knew I didn’t belong there.
As I walked to the car, I whispered a prayer for Corey and then started to ponder on what he said to me. Why would he think Hassan did this to him? Was there any truth to this? I have to find out one way or another, I thought as I pulled off.
Later that night, I heard that Corey passed away. I felt sad about his passing because I knew he was part of my son. I felt guilty because I kept my son away from him for his entire life, and now, he would never get a chance to meet his father. “Oh God, how do I clean this mess up?” I screamed out in anguish.
I’ve been through a lot in my lifetime, and I just needed it to end. I wished, at times, my mama was still alive, so I could lie against her shoulder and tell her about e’erything that was going on in my life. I felt so alone. I held my head and continued crying my heart out. At least Corey was out of his misery and didn’t have to worry about this wicked world anymore.... I wondered, how would Hassan feel if I were no longer here. Would he miss me? Or would he move on with his life and replace me? So many questions that I needed answers to.
Chapter Four
Hassan Clarke
I had my hopes up after I talked to Mama. I was confident that she would get me a bond. But that hope soon disappeared when two days went by, and my name wasn’t called for bond or an attorney’s visit.
I knew I didn’t have any other choice but to call my office collect. It took everything in me to do that because I didn’t want to involve my firm in the situation. I knew it wasn’t a good look. But I swallowed my pride and dialed the number.
“Mr. Clarke, is that you? What the heck is going on? We’ve been trying to reach you.”
“Yes, Shari, it’s me. It’s just a little misunderstanding that will be cleared up soon. Is Leon in?”
“OK, I understand, and, yes, he’s here. Let me transfer you.”
“Thanks, love.”
I anxiously waited as Leon came on the phone. I didn’t care about being embarrassed. I needed to get out of this hellhole.
“Hello, Has. What’s good, man?”
“Man, you ain’t goin’ believe this bullshit. I’m over here in Rikers.”
“What the heck are you talking ’bout?”
“Man, long story that I can’t even get into right now. I’m charged with assault and battery on Imani. I have my first appearance at 10:00 a.m., and I need you to be there.”
“A’ight, bet. I’ll be there.”
“I ’ppreciate it. I’ll see you then.”
After I got off the phone, I felt a sense of relief. I walked back to my bunk and lay down. I didn’t socialize with these bum-ass niggas up in here, telling their jailhouse lies. Most of them were hardened criminals who didn’t deserve to see the streets again. But who was I to judge shit? My pockets were on swole because of dudes that broke the law.
That bitch Imani lay heavily on my mind. We’ve been through so much shit together that I would’ve never guessed she would go as far as pressing charges on me. That bitch was dead to me. I put that on my life.
I closed my eyes and tried to doze off, but sleep wouldn’t come. I was ready to get up out of here and file for divorce. After that bullshit Destiny pulled, I planned on not giving that ho a dime. I don’t give a fuck ’bout no alimony or child support. For all I care, that bitch can sell her pussy to feed her fucking daughter. I knew it sounded cold, but there was no love in my heart for that bitch, and the fact that Amaiya was part of that bitch, I didn’t give a fuck about her either.
“Ha-ha,” I chuckled as a thought popped into my head. I knew exactly how to get that ho back. When I filed for divorce, I was also going to file for custody of Amaiya. That would drive Destiny over the edge. I hoped it would drive that bitch to suicide. With that thought, I was off to sleep....
* * *
By 4:00 a.m. the next morning, the guards were hollering for people that have court. I was eager to get out of here because I knew I wasn’t going to be back in this dungeon. I packed up my cot, gave my bunkie dap, and strutted to the front where the guards were waiting to transport us to the court.
On the way to the courthouse that I was so familiar with, I whispered a few words to the man above. I was confident that my partner had me, but just in case, I needed extra cushion. I stayed quiet the entire ride, but the niggas’ mouths beside me seemed to have a severe case of diarrhea. One nigga said, “I can’t wait to get out so I can fuck the shit out of my girl.” Another fool stated, “I can’t wait to hit them streets. Oh boy, it’s on and popping.” I shook my head and closed my eyes. I really didn’t have any plans. For now, I only wanted to get out.
* * *
The bus arrived at the courthouse early, and we were placed in a holding cell. I hoped Leon was on his way down here. I needed to run my case by him before I went in front of the judge.
“Clarke, you have an attorney’s visit,” the tall, lanky guard said.
I got up and walked to the front.
Two minutes later, he escorted me into a room where Leon was waiting.
As soon as he saw me, he stood up. “Hassan, my man.” He gave me dap.
At that moment, I felt a little ashamed that my colleague was able to see me like this.
“All right, what the hell happened? I need to know everything, so I can go in there and fight for you.”
Even though I didn’t want him in my business, I had no choice but to keep it real with him. But I left out a few things which I didn’t think was his business.
“I warned you from day one, that girl was trouble.”
“Yea, well, there is something else. I didn’t meet her at the job. Imani and I been screwing around for years, even before I started law school.”
“Man, I don’t know what’s going on, but this is a felony you’re charged with. You already know this don’t look good for you. My goal is to get you out on bond, and the rest, we can figure out.” I could tell by the tone of his voice he was annoyed.
He left, and I was returned to the holding cell. Reality started to kick in. I worked my entire life to get this law degree, and all it took was a minute to jeopardize it. I knew I wasn’t going to give up that easy. The bottom line is, it was my word against hers. I knew it would be hard, but I had to come up with ways to discredit her story. There was no way I was going to prison—especially not behind a bitch that I took care of.
* * *
“All rise. The court of the Criminal Division is now in session. The Honorable Judge Braxton is presiding.”
“Be seated,” Judge Braxton said.
I’ve heard those exact words over a hundred times, but this time, it was surreal. I hung my head down in shame as I sat on the other side of the law this time.
“Your Honor, first on the docket, docket number 66421-53. The State of New York vs. Hassan Clarke.
“Defendant is charged with one count of First-Degree Assault. . . .”
I didn’t hear anything else until I heard my name mentioned.
“How do you plead, Mr. Clarke? Mr. Clarke, are you with us?” the judge said, interrupting my thoughts.
“Not guilty, Your Honor.”
“Court date is set for September 12, 9:00 a.m. Mr. Clarke, you are ordered not to go anywhere near the complainant or contact her in any way. If you violate this order, your bon
d will be revoked immediately.”
“I’m about to post your bond. So sit tight. You’ll be out in a few,” Leon assured me.
I nodded my head to acknowledge him. I was sick of this shit already.
I felt relieved because I had no intention to return to Rikers. I wasn’t a criminal, and I didn’t belong among those hardened criminals. I’ll be happy when all this bullshit ends, I thought.
Chapter Five
Destiny Clarke
There was something about this man that kept tugging at my heart. For years, I haven’t had sex or thought about being with another man. I took my vows very seriously, even though I knew I was faithful to a man whose cock was community property.
I tried to ignore the way I was feeling, but at night, I would lie in my bed, wondering what it would feel like to have a good man, one that knew how to treat a woman that had been broken. The thought of him sent chills up my spine. Yes, I’m talking about no other than Private Investigator Spencer.
My heart was a little reluctant, but I decided that going out to dinner with him wouldn’t hurt anything. Plus, it would help take my mind off some of the shit that was going on in my life. Without further hesitation, I dialed his number.
I got cold feet and was about to hang up when his sultry voice said, “Hello, there.”
“Hi,” I could barely say.
I felt like I was in high school, and he was my crush. Butterflies took flight in my stomach as I tried not to breathe too hard into the phone.
“How is the beautiful Miss Destiny doing this evening?” he asked.
Oh Lord, this man was putting his charm on me. I had to catch myself. I didn’t want to come off as thirsty. I was too old for that giddy-headed shit.
“I’m fine. I just called to see if the offer was still on the table, I mean, the dinner offer,” I said nervously.
“Yes, the offer is definitely still on the table. I would love to take you out and show you a good time if you would allow me to.”
“Hmm, OK, I’m available tomorrow evening.”
“Alrighty. Is 8:00 p.m. fine with you?”
“Yes, that’s perfect.”
“Text me your address tomorrow, and I’ll pick you up about a quarter to eight.”
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