“You know what? That might be the best thing for you to do. You’ll be there, whether or not you like it.” I walked out of the room in a hurry.
I rushed to my room and got under the covers. Where in the hell did I go wrong? Amaiya and I used to be so close, but all she did now was give me an attitude. I loved my daughter and just wanted the best for her, but it seemed like all I was doing was driving a wedge between us. I didn’t want that, especially now that I have full-blown AIDS. I had no idea how long I would be here. I needed my only child to know that her mama loved her. I burst out crying as I thought about losing her.
“Baby girl, you have no idea how much your mama loves you. Please, let’s make this right before it’s too late,” I mumbled before I dozed off.
Josiah Clarke
It was 8.30 p.m., so I picked up the phone and dialed my bitch’s number. I hoped she picked up the phone because everything that I was about to do relied on her love for me.
“Hello.” She answered like she was asleep.
“Hey, babe. Whatchu doin’?”
“Just lying here, thinking about you.”
“Shit, I’m on the same shit. I need to see you.”
“I told you that her ass put me on punishment, and I can’t leave the house.”
“Baby, listen. I can come and see you.”
“Boy, you trippin’. You know she’ll go the hell off if you come to the house.”
“Listen to me. She ain’t got to know. We can wait ’til she’s asleep, and then I can sneak in.”
“I ’ont know, José. My stepfather is working late tonight, and I don’t want him to come home and see your car in the driveway.”
“Baby, stop and listen to me. I won’t park in the driveway. I can park on the other side of the street. I can call or text you, and you can let me in. Trust me. She won’t know. I just really want to see you, babe,” I pleaded.
“Okay. Just text me when you get up here, and, please, be careful.”
“I love you, babe. See you in a little while.”
I hung up the phone and jumped in the shower. My adrenaline was rushing as I washed my body. I had waited for this day, and I was ready to make my mama proud of her only baby boy.
* * *
Twenty minutes later, I was on the road to White Plains. I popped a few of my Xanax and swallowed them with a bottle of water. Then I turned the music up loud as Plies’s “Runnin’ My Momma Crazy” blasted through the old speakers.
“Shit killin’ me to know I’m runnin’ my momma crazy.
Goon to the streets but to my momma I’m still her baby . . .”
I cut the music down once I got on the street where they lived. I also cut my lights off as I cruised toward the house. Silently, I pulled up and parked across the street in front of the neighbor’s house. After I grabbed my gun, I stuck it in my waist and also grabbed my ski mask just in case I needed it.
I’m here. I’ll be at your door in five seconds.
I got out of the car, looked around, and walked toward the door. It was a quiet area, so everyone was inside their homes. As soon as I got to her door, she opened it. I stepped inside as she took her time silently closing the door behind us. She was careful not to alarm her mother that the door had been opened.
She motioned for me to follow her up the stairs. I quickly took my shoes off and tiptoed behind her up the stairs and into her room. I wasted no time. As soon as I got into the room, I started kissing her. The Xanax had me horny as fuck, and I needed some pussy right away. More than anything, I needed her to get comfortable with me.
I pulled off her little nightshirt and started sucking on her nipple aggressively. She started groaning. “Shh,” I whispered in her ear. The last thing I needed was her mother walking in on me fucking her daughter.
“Babe, you know what? I ain’t come over here for this. I want to lie here and hold you.”
“But I want you, bae. I want to feel you inside of me,” she pleaded as she rubbed on my dick.
“Chill out, babe. We have plenty of time for that. I came out here ’cause I miss you, so let’s just hold each other,” I said in a stern voice.
“Okay, then,” she said with an attitude.
We got under the covers. She put her head on my chest while I wrapped my arms around her. I knew that she felt my heart beating fast, but the sad thing about it was baby girl had no idea why.
I held her close and kept rubbing her head. She slowly dozed off and then finally fell soundly asleep. I continued lying there until I was sure that she was out cold. I took my time and eased my arm from around her. I put her pillow close by her so I could ease out without alarming her.
Then I put my shoes back on, grabbed her cell phone that was on the dresser, and walked lightly out of the room. Standing in the hallway, I tried to make out which room I needed to go into. I didn’t see the nigga’s car parked outside, so I was banking on him not being there.
I saw the TV light coming from the room directly in front of me. I walked to the door and slightly pushed it open. Bingo. The bitch was lying in bed, out cold. I took my gun out of my waist and stood over her for a while. I touched her shoulder slightly to wake her up.
“Spencer, is that you? I’m not feeling too good.”
“No, honey. It’s not Spencer,” I said.
“What?” She jumped up as if she weren’t sleeping.
“Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?”
I walked over to the light and cut it on. “Hello, Destiny. That is no way to greet your future son-in-law.”
I could see the shock written all across her face when she realized that it was me.
“Ha-ha. Are you surprised, bitch? Ain’t no need to be. I heard you’ve been doing a little bit of snooping around.”
“Where is my daughter? Amaiya!” she yelled.
I took a few steps back, closing the door behind me.
“What the hell do you want? You’re not going to get away with this.”
Blap. Blap. I slapped her ass in the face with my gun.
That bitch grabbed her face as blood spilled out from the corner of her mouth.
“You have no idea who I am, do you? Well, lemme introduce myself to the bitch of the house. You’re right. My name is not José. It’s Josiah Clarke. See, we carry the same last name because my mama was screwing your husband, and I’m the bastard that came from that. Now that you know who I am, you can put two and two together.”
“What are you doing, José?” Amaiya’s voice startled me.
“Step in, bitch, and join the party.” I pulled her inside the room and locked the door behind us.
Destiny Clarke
Spencer was working late tonight, and I wasn’t feeling too good, so I took some pills and went to sleep. Any other night, I would’ve set the alarm, but I totally forgot, and that could’ve cost me my life.
I was barely dozing off when I heard someone enter the room. I just knew that it was Spencer because he was the only one who would come into my room late at night. It wasn’t until I said something that the bastard that was standing in my room replied. I only spoke to him once, but I never forgot how he sounded. I knew right then that I was in trouble.
I turned around to face the nigga that my child brought into our lives. He was standing in front of me with a gun pointed directly at me. I swallowed hard and looked around, but I didn’t see an escape in sight. I didn’t have to ask who he was, because that coward introduced himself.
I sat there, staring at him. I saw that he was jittery and possibly on some drugs. That made my fear level rise even more. I started praying to God in my mind as he slapped me with the gun. The pain shook my body so hard that I saw flashes of light in front of me. I grabbed my face. Blood spilled out of the corner of my mouth. I also felt a tooth loosen, but losing a tooth was the least of my worries. My child was on my mind. What did he do to my daughter, and where was she? It wasn’t long before my questions were answered.
Amaiya entered the room. I could tell th
at she was just as shocked as I was.
“What are you doing, José?”
“Sit yo’ ass down, bitch. My name is Josiah. I know you’re probably in the dark about this, but yo’ mama killed my mother because she was fucking your daddy.”
“Mama, what is he talking about? José, what’s going on? What are you doing with a gun?” Amaiya started to cry. I could tell that she was scared.
“Baby, don’t listen to him. His name is Josiah, and he’s the son of the woman your daddy was sleeping with.” I tried to comfort her.
“So... He’s my brother? I slept with him. You knew this?” She turned to him.
“Bitch, shut your whining ass up. Now, take off your clothes.”
“Why are you doing this? Amaiya ain’t got nothing to do with this.” I started to cry.
“Bitch, shut up and take off your fucking clothes too.”
“José, Josiah—whatever your name is. This is me—Amaiya. You love me, and I love you.” Her eyes pleaded with him.
“I never loved you. The only woman that I ever loved is gone because of this bitch. Now get over here and suck this dick.”
“I’ll do it.” I got up and stepped closer to him.
“Step back, bitch, before I splatter your brains all over this floor.”
I couldn’t breathe. My chest was tightening up on me. I couldn’t watch my daughter do that.
“Please don’t do this. What do you want? Money? I can get you lots of it,” I begged.
“Bitch, you think I want money? What I’m going to do is fuck this bitch in front of you. Then, I’m going to fuck you, and after that, I’m gonna kill both of you bitches. I want your lives just like you took my mother’s life away.
“Now suck this dick, bitch.” He forced his dick into Amaiya’s mouth.
I couldn’t look, but I had to make sure that my daughter didn’t feel alone. I started throwing up the food that I ate earlier. I felt so sick inside, and then I started to shiver. I wanted to die as I watched him work my daughter’s mouth. He then got up and turned her around and started raping her.
“Noooo! Please, stop. Please, I love you,” Amaiya pleaded with that beast.
I put my hands over my ears as I started bawling. I leaped toward him and started clawing at his face. He used his elbow and knocked me to the ground.
I didn’t stay down, though. I was angry, determined to get him out of my daughter.
“This pussy’s so fucking good. Too bad I can’t get it on the regular anymore,” that sick bastard said as he rammed in and out of my child.
“Mommy, please help me,” she pleaded and kept trying to get up from under him.
“God, please help us,” I said out loud.
I jumped on his back and wrapped my hands around his neck. He still didn’t get off of my daughter. I squeezed his neck with all of my might.
“Bitch, get off of me before I blow her brains out,” he said in a cold tone.
“Step the fuck away from her.” Spencer burst into the room with his 9 mm pointed at Josiah’s head.
I guess he was so into raping my daughter that he was caught off guard.
“Pussy nigga, I ain’t doing shit.”
“I’m not asking you—I’m telling you. Ease up off of her and drop the fucking gun.”
Without any more words, Spencer jumped at him and grabbed him away from Amaiya before throwing him against the wall. A fight transpired between them.
Pop! Pop! Pop! Gunshots rang out.
“Noooo!” Amaiya screamed as she got up and ran toward me. I didn’t know who was shot. I just grabbed my baby and used my body to shield her.
I saw Josiah drop to the ground, and the gun fell from his hand. Spencer grabbed the gun from the floor.
“Help me. Please. I don’t want to die,” I heard a faint voice say.
“Nigga, ain’t nobody goin’ help you but God.”
Pop! I heard a single gunshot.
“I’m scared, Mommy,” Amaiya said as she held me tightly.
“Babe, you all right?” Spencer asked. “That nigga is dead. I’m about to call 911. Get Amaiya, and y’all go downstairs.”
Amaiya let go of me and ran over to Josiah. She knelt over him and screamed.
“No. Oh my God,” she bawled.
I walked over to her and snatched her up. “Come on. We’ve got to go.”
“I can’t leave him, Mama. He needs me.” She tried to go back to the body.
Slap! Slap!
“Wake up, little girl. We need to go.” I pulled her out of the room as Spencer dialed the police.
I helped her down the stairs and onto the couch after we dressed. She couldn’t stop crying. I started to cry as I held her. I wasn’t crying because that bastard was shot, though. I was crying because of what my baby was going through. That nigga had just raped her, and then she saw him dying on my floor.
“Why did he have to kill him, Mama? He could’ve just scared him.”
I let her go and then looked her dead in the eyes as she cried. “You listen to me, and you listen good. That bastard was goin’ to kill us both if Spencer hadn’t come in when he did. You need to come to your senses fast because the police are on their way.”
“The police are pulling up now,” Spencer said as he rushed to the door to open it.
I was still trembling from everything that went down. I heard Spencer talking to the police and EMT, and then they rushed up the stairs. I had a strong feeling that he was dead, so the EMT wasn’t necessary.
One officer stepped into the living room. “Ladies, I need to get a statement from both of you.”
“Okay, Officer,” I said as I wiped the tears away.
* * *
I watched as they wheeled the dead body out of the house as I held Amaiya while she cried uncontrollably. It was so terrible, and the officer couldn’t get a statement from her because she was still in shock.
“Do you need us to take her to the hospital for a checkup for the rape? Can she talk to a grief counselor?”
“You know what? I’ll drive her to the emergency room. She really needs me right now.”
“Sure. I can’t imagine what either of you ladies is going through.”
I didn’t respond. I just smiled at the officer.
“Amaiya, come on. I need to get you to the hospital so you can get checked out.”
Spencer was still talking with the officers outside. I needed him now more than ever. I was so grateful to have him because only God knew what that nigga’s intentions were. I knew that it wasn’t good, and my daughter’s and my lives had been in danger.
“Spencer, I’ve got to go. I’m taking Amaiya to the ER to get checked out.”
“You sure you ’ont want me to drive you?”
“Nah, I’ve got it. Stay here and make sure that things are handled.”
I walked Amaiya to the car and got her into the passenger side. Then I got in and pulled off.
“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“No,” she barely answered.
Maybe I was too harsh on her earlier, but I didn’t understand. How could a person feel any kind of way toward a nigga who’d just raped her and almost killed both of us? Maybe I didn’t get how her mind worked, and honestly, I didn’t give a damn about that nigga. Now his dead ass could join his fucking mama.
I kept glancing over at her while I drove to the hospital. Then I picked up the phone and dialed Mama’s number.
“Hello. What’s wrong? Why are you up at this time of night?”
“Mama, I know it’s late, but something happened at the house tonight. I need you to meet me at White Plains Hospital. I’ll fill you in when you get there.”
“I’m on my way.”
“God, please give me the strength right now because I am so weak,” I mumbled as I pulled into the parking lot.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Hassan Clarke
I stepped out into the muggy air. The sun was beaming down on the pavement as I stood th
ere for a second to take in the scenery. I pinched myself to see if I were dreaming. Hell nah, I wasn’t dreaming. This nigga was free, even if it was for a little while.
Honk! Honk! Honk!
A car horn interrupted my thoughts. I looked up and realized that the car had stopped in front of me. I didn’t recognize the driver, so I just stood there.
“Get in.”
I hesitated, but then I thought, What the fuck? I need a ride to get to my destination.
“Yo, my man, do I know you?”
“No, but I’m following orders to pick you up.”
“Orders from whom?” I inquired.
I was starting to feel nervous. I hoped this wasn’t a setup. I knew I had a few enemies out there, but I doubted if those niggas were that bold to pull off some shit like this.
“Man, tell me who sent you, or you can pull the fuck over and let me out now,” I said in a loud, deep voice.
“I’m only taking orders from the lady. You’ll see her once we get there.”
“What lady?”
He didn’t respond. Instead, he turned the music up so loud that it irritated the hell out of me. I thought about jumping out of the car, but I knew I would hurt myself because he was speeding down the highway. All I could do was close my eyes and ask God to protect me.
* * *
About an hour later, I felt the car slowing down. I opened my eyes and saw that we were going through a gated community. I didn’t let it show, but I was shivering in my pants.
“Well, we’re here. You can get out now.”
I jumped out of the car and looked around. There was a big-ass house, but I didn’t know anybody that lived there.
“Mr. Clarke, welcome to mi casa,” a sexy voice said.
I turned around to face the beautiful Judge Morales. Yes, you heard me right. It was the same judge that presided over my case and gave me a bond. See, when I filed my appeal, I had no idea that my case would be in front of the judge that I used to fuck every once in a while when I was going to law school. I had not seen her since she left school two years before I graduated. How could I forget the cute, phat-ass judge who used to ride this dick in the back of my car because she was married, and so was I?
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