by Love Belvin
My phone buzzing on the armrest of the beach chair captured my attention.
Monica: hey… please tell me you bought that YSL Rouge Pur!
I glanced down to my bag I brought out here to the beach and dug through it until I found the lipstick.
Me: Got it.
After sending the text, I sat back in the chair, exhaling as I went back to the beautiful view. I could stay out here all day and lose time. That was proven when I heard Monica, just behind me, on approach.
“Girl, you been out here since you put the baby down!” she panted, having run the distance from the house.
I smiled while nodding then handed her the lipstick. “Sadik went for a run. I’ll wait for him to come back, or for the baby to wake up first. Where are you going?”
Monica had changed into a cute velour sweatsuit, the pants cropped beneath her knees, showcasing her muscular calves.
“Into town. One of the security guys said there are a couple of restaurants there. I need to come up for air from the funeral.” She waved back to the house. “Stacy, Taaliba, and Irene have the girls while I slip out for a couple of hours to call a few friends from school.”
I observed her ample cleavage in the lowly zipped jacket. “Nice. You guys FaceTiming?”
“Yeah. Something different.”
“Oh. Okay. Is this how you typically keep in touch?” I asked because Monica and I had several late-night girl chats since Earl and Iban had been down. It was clear to me she hadn’t been in touch with many friends or family outside of the Ellis family, so it was strange to hear about this group of friends. “I mean… I hope I’m not prying.”
“No! Not at all.” She giggled. “I recently ‘reached back’ to them. They’ve been trying to keep in touch since just before Christmas. I guess I can now use them as a distraction from all of this. My heart is broken from the loss of Palmer.”
That made my shoulders drop and eyes roll back out to sea. “Yeah,” I breathed. “This is a tough one. But we’ll get through it the way family’s supposed to.”
“I hope.”
I supplied a smile of confidence. “We will. Are Stacy, Irene, and the crew done with dinner?”
Monica nodded. “Just had a small plate of her spring pork and noodles dish. Mmmmmm!” She hummed with closed eyes. “My favorite—at least one of them from her.” I turned my nose up at that one. Monica laughed, turning for the house. “I’ll see you later. Don’t want to get the call while I’m in the car, on my way to the restaurant. This place is the bomb, girl. I don’t know how y’all kept it a secret this long!”
As she jogged toward the house, Taaliba was dropping down the steps of the deck with a plate of food. I turned back for the glorious water, inhaling the salted air before downing the last of my wine.
“Mind if I join you?” she asked, plopping down into the seat next to me.
I grinned her way. Taaliba was a pleasure, no matter how much energy she required to interface with.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I swept my feet across the sand.
“How do you sit out here so long with just a hoodie and coochie shorts on?” she asked. “It’s not warm out.”
I lifted my legs, realizing she was right. But I was fine. “I’m right at home out here. I love it.”
“I suspect that’s why you guys bought this place.” She turned toward the water.
Sadik groaned in his crib, calling my attention to him.
“Is that my favorite nephy?” She picked up the monitor I brought out to keep an extra eye on my baby boy.
My heart smiled. Then I was reminded of how this all came about. I would have never imagined Sadik’s family staying in our Macen Beach home. Sadik had Palmer’s body sent back home after the autopsy had been completed. When Palmer’s family, who resided in a small South Carolina town twenty-five miles west of Macen Beach, called about his funeral arrangements, Sadik only wanted to stay here. When he made that known to Irene and explained the home he’d purchased for us, she made clear she’d be staying here as well. That meant Taaliba, Monica, and the girls would stay here, too. That meant security needed accommodations.
I sighed deeply, eyes closing and mind absorbing the sound of the melodious ocean.
Taaliba pushed a carrot with some healthy-looking spread at the tip to my face.
I shook my head, declining. “All that good food in there—and back at the repast—and you’re only eating cold veggies?”
“We must get picky eating from you.” Taaliba snickered. “Nah. Mommy doesn’t eat everyone’s food, even if they’re from the south. That’s why she and Stacy planned on cooking this afternoon.”
It was mostly Stacy. Irene hadn’t been herself since Earl’s heart attack.
“How is she?”
“Mommy?” I nodded. Taaliba’s regard swung out to the water again. “Not herself at all, but I can understand why. Daddy’s never been down like this. Iban’s still recovering, and she had to leave them both to lay Palmer to rest properly. I can understand her being out of sorts. Those two are a team. Weird as fuck, but down for each other.”
I nodded as the wind hugged my face. Palmer’s sudden death completed the triad of misfortunes the Ellises had been hit with. Earl hadn’t been excelling in healing as we all hoped for. The doctors weren’t impressed with his progress either. Though they’d been assuring the family he’d still been in the normal range of recovery, it wasn’t fast enough for such a vibrant leader as Earl was.
Iban, on the other hand…
My throat closed up at the thought of him. His suicide attempt was a thud, something I could only imagine the level of misery in that realization to him. The gunshot to his right frontal lobe toward the forehead lodged into the wall. It was horrific; the experience and the aftermath. The sight of his blood all over my baby’s nursery would haunt me forever. But he’d survived. We’d been told his recovery, however, would be a longer road than his father’s.
The bullet caused only minor damage because it passed through no vital brain tissue or vascular structures. Iban was lucky. Not only did he live, but he had a greater chance at recovery than my brother did because of where he shot himself in the head. Still, the doctors made no promises for full revival. It wasn’t guaranteed he’d be one hundred percent at the other end of his healing process.
“They’ll both pull through. I’m hopeful.”
“I hope so, and soon. We’re so vulnerable without them.” Taaliba sighed as though in pain. “Palmer’s gone, and Sadik does his own thing. Danny has promised his protection, but he’s no Ellis. Only my family can truly protect me. I’m no fool. I know what my father’s business is. I’ve been fully aware of what Iban helps him do to earn for this family like he has. In Earl Ellis’ world, it’s eat or get eaten. I don’t want to be prey. I don’t want my family to be prey.”
I knew to consider my words before sharing them. Sadik made it very clear his mother didn’t know all the details of his father’s dark world. I had to assume that included Taaliba and Monica until Sadik told me it did not.
“Sadik would never allow any harm to come to you or this family.” My eyes penetrated hers, chin dipped. “You know that.”
With her regard sweeping away, Taaliba nodded, taking a deep breath. This was hard for her. It was a difficult time for all Ellises. As much as I hated the thought of Sadik participating in his father’s dark world, I couldn’t see him doing anything less than protecting his family and upholding the coveted Ellis name.
“Here comes bullet head now,” Taaliba announced, gazing past me.
I turned to my left, and sure enough, Sadik was running down the beach, bare-chested with his t-shirt wrapped around his head. From a distance, the setting sun shined on his golden casing, his glossed skin reflected in the light. How he had the energy to go for a run after the workout we had this morning on the beach was beyond me. Not only did we do cardio, but Sadik had been increasing my self-defense instructions, too. I found my hungry eyes roving u
p from his striated legs to his cut chest. Instead of him heading our way, Sadik made a beeline for the house.
“I don’t know what you find so appealing about all that?” Taaliba droned, snatching my attention away from her brother.
“Huhn? About all what?”
“That?”
“What did I do?” I was confused.
“You’re damn near salivating, watching him do his Baywatch jog.”
I rolled my eyes, finally understanding her point. “I’ve told you what I do with all of it.”
“What?” Her neck snapped back as her face folded.
I motioned with my hand, by pumping my fist to my mouth.
“Ewwwwwww!” Taaliba’s upper torso flew from her chair and her arms stretched wide with her plate in her hand. “Don’t make me fucking puke.”
A sharp croak upended my belly. “But he can make me gag!” I laughed from embarrassment to the point of tears. My vulgarity was funny, but my truth was severely serious. I loved the man and his cock—unapologetically.
“Sooooo gross, Bilan!” she pretended to cry out.
Or did she?
I really didn’t care. The connection Sadik and I shared transcended etiquette. I conceded to my disease. I was sick. Sadik’s love and ultra-alpha ways infected me for life.
“I’m sorry. I think my friends’ crass personas have rubbed off on me after all these years.” I feigned remorse.
“I think my big brother had something to do with that.”
“He does.” I nodded, unabashedly, wiping the tears of humor from my eyes. It felt good to laugh after all of the hell over the last few weeks.
“That’ll never be me,” Taaliba claimed.
“What?”
“Acquiescing to a control freak.”
“And falling in love with him?” I amended.
“Yeah. All of that.” She shook her head defiantly. “Never. No man or woman.”
“Hence your asexual condition?” I rolled my eyes dramatically.
Her eyes ballooned. “You judging me?”
“Harshly,” I returned quickly. She sucked in a breath. “How’s Danny, Leeb?”
Her guilty eyes rolled away. “I guess he’s…doing him.”
“But not you yet?”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
“Who else are you seeing?”
“No one!” she groaned through gritted teeth petulantly.
“No one at all?”
“Well, Danny and I have been…” She shook her head. “He’s been around since daddy’s heart attack.”
“That’s nice. Supportive.”
Taaliba shook her head. “It’s too much.”
“Why?”
“He’s so controlling. I’m not built to be with men like my father and brothers. I need room to breathe…to make my own decisions.”
“How do you not have that room when he’s supporting you during a trying time?”
She pursed her lips, taking a deep breath with her eyes fixed to the ocean. “He wants to get married.”
“Oh…”
That was alarming. Yes, I thought Taaliba was melodramatic when it came to simply entertaining people she shared a mutual attraction with, but I also knew she was in no way prepared for marriage.
“How does he propose that’ll—”
“Girl!” she spoke excitedly over me. “And those shoes have only been out for a month, but I’m getting them. Let me show you!” She pretended to use her empty hand to go into her pocket.
It didn’t take long for me to realize her jump in conversation. A standing body had flipped its leg behind me, over my chair. I glanced above my head before scooting up.
“Hey, you…” I greeted Sadik with my eyes on Taaliba.
A kiss at the back of my head was all the response I needed. Sadik handed me a fresh glass of wine. Quickly, I took a sip to distract myself from the awkwardness.
“I can’t find them,” Taaliba blackened her phone, stowing it back in her pocket. “I’ll look later and send it to you.” She beamed over to her big brother. “Hey, broski.”
Maybe he acknowledged her nonverbally, maybe he didn’t, but Sadik brought a forkful of food to my mouth. Without hesitation, I accepted it.
“Control.” Taaliba shrugged with her shoulders and mouth, lifting her arms and dropping them.
I shook my head while chewing. “No way.” I tried to quickly clear my mouth of the food. “Maybe a little, but it’s actually balance at play here.”
Taaliba rolled her eyes, blowing off my explanation. I enjoyed the food fed to me by her brother, not realizing how hungry I’d been. Sadik served himself, too. I leaned into his chest, loving the scent of his dried perspiration.
“Taaliba,” he called to her.
“Hmmm?” She turned our way.
“My security has alerted me of your boy, Danny, announcing he’s on his way to my turf.”
Taaliba rolled her eyes again then let go of a hefty breath. “I swear I didn’t know.”
“Yeah. You let him know, I’ll grant him courtesy this time, but if he tries it again, he’ll be met by Rory,” Sadik threatened.
“I didn’t know he would come. I swear,” she squealed regretfully.
Sadik didn’t respond. He continued to feed me and himself until the plate was cleaned. I sipped the last of my wine, enjoying the patterns of the whitecaps. Then I felt his lips at the back of my head again.
“I’m going to shower and wake up Sadik. His little ass thinks he’s going to be up all night again. I have a few calls to make. He can do it with me.”
I nodded in agreement. Little Sadik talked well until two in the morning last night after sleeping most of the day away during our commute down here. Just when he’d began sleeping longer stretches at night.
“Okay,” I murmured, lifting to give him room to stand. “I’ll be in soon.”
“Nah.” He stood from behind me. “You stay out here and relax as long as you need. You want me to send out more wine?”
I shook my head. “Not right now.”
Sadik nodded before taking off for the house. I felt Taaliba’s eyes burning a hole in the side of my face and turned to her.
She rolled her eyes. “Controlling.”
I snickered. “You think you have problems with a control freak? Try having your OB/GYN being the man who tests your lover and several of his lovers before you. If that ain’t a some mind-control, I don’t know what is!”
∞2∞
“Hurry up, Bilan. Damn!” He laughs, running between trees. I struggle to keep up with him, my curiosity peppered with humor. “You’re so slow.”
“Jason,” I shout, giggling. “Where are we going?”
My feet stomp over dried leaves and small tree branches. I’m sure to avoid the rocks I can see, afraid of the ones I can’t. I have on no shoes, feeling lighthearted without a care in the world. Jason peers over his shoulder at me every once in a while, his amusement just as spiked as mine.
“Woman, hurry up!” he commands at high speed.
It’s an overcast day, but the temperature is mild. My dress is sleeveless and flowing in the air against the fierce speed. I zip around trees and hurl over rocks the size of basketballs. We hit a valley in the soil, forcing me to adjust my speed to keep up. I nearly fall, but grace is ample and I’m able to resume my balance and pace.
“Jason!” I yell again.
We’re now in an open field. The sun is setting to our right, which is weird. The sun hadn’t been out a few strides ago.
“Come on, Bilan!” Jason yells. “You’re so damn slow, you’re going to miss it!”
My laughter begins again as I deepen my lunges, running faster. A quick glance to the corner of my right eye has my neck whip three times before my feet slow to a halt. The break is too fast and I tumble down to the ground, eyes squeezing to see what’s far into the distance. But I see them. Irene…Iesha…Earl, Monica, Taaliba, baby Irene, Ivana, Iban, and—
“Jason!�
� I call to him.
Jason, though quite a distance away, glances back at me. The amusement in his face fades just slightly as he follows my line of vision. Then, as though he registers the family and why they’re all on the ground with their bodies tightly coiled forming a protective circle, he maintains his stride.
He doesn’t slow. Neither does he tell me to follow him. Jason continues to titter as he skips off.
“Jason!” I scream. “Help me! My baby is over there!”
He is. Sadik is in the inner circle wailing. I finally find my wits to go toward them. The ground is cold, the wind picking up, and my feet are being punctured by the rubble on the ground. But I ignore the pain and race to them. Though originally far, I reach them in no time.
“What’s going on?” I cry, searching them for the cause of their huddle.
Each face is tear-stained, every eye in the same place and not on me. Sadik’s cry pulls at something deep in my stomach, twisting torturously. He doesn’t quiet down right away. As I rub his little back, I’m about to question the group again, but think to turn to see what’s capturing their attention.
Instantly, I fall backward, too fast to break it with my arm. It’s an animal…a wolf. Maybe a goat. It’s huge, coat a dirty brown mixed with gray. Teeth exposed, thick saliva strands stretching from top to bottom. Heat expels as he roars threateningly. Sadik’s cry shoots up an octave. I look around to Earl and Iban, but they’re just as frightened as the children in the cluster.
Sadik. Where’s Sadik?
My eyes comb the empty field. Why is he not here? The beast growls again, inching toward us. I’m perspiring all over, pulse beating a dangerous speed.
“No!” I pant, my palm stretched outward.
Irene and Monica’s groans turn my stomach. With my eyes glued to the animal, I reach back and hand Sadik over to someone behind me. Anyone. Within seconds, the baby is being lifted from my arm.
I can now focus on the beast. The revelation of his kind finally bursts in my mind. A goral. I hadn’t seen one since my middle school days. A goat of sorts. I can’t negotiate with a damn goat. Slowly, I stand to my feet with one out-stretched palm. He lunges my way, forcing me to leap back. Strategically, I move away from the group. His fangs are exposed, growl shaking the ground beneath me as I amble backward away from my family.