by Love Belvin
Just as Iesha began to sob out loud, I slipped out of the sliding door.
“You believe this bitch saying she know who killed Haitian Ricky?” Tasche rasped into the phone.
My admiring eyes halted their gaze over the sparkling pool on the side of the house at that. For some strange reason, my belly fluttered and heart galloped.
Blinking, I hummed, “Really?”
“Yeah! This bitch been wildin’, yo. I told you she been on one since his party.”
“His party?” Tasche was right: she had mentioned Randi’s peculiar behavior a time or two for months now, but not regularly.
“Yeah.”
“What happened at his party?”
“You know Randi was tight about that nigga’s wife coming to town. ‘Member she left his crib and stayed with me? She basically stayed at my place since then.”
“And now she thinks she knows who killed him…” I thought out loud.
“I told her ass a million people coulda murked that nigga—even the police. Haitian Ricky had mad enemies, yo.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw a fleet of black SUVs pull up to the front of the house. I was on the deck when I called Tasche, and once we began talking, I found myself traveling to the side where the pool was. One of the men I recognized as Earl’s security left the first truck and ambled to the front door, I guessed to announce their arrival.
“Did she say who, Tasche?” I asked into the phone, blindly watching.
“She said the streets but acted like it was personal.” Tasche sighed. “I ‘on’t know, yo. I ‘on’t really be paying ol’ girl no mind now. She just be…zoned the fuck out. I ain’t gone front like I miss having that bitch around, ‘cause these last four days by myself been fuckin’ heaven, but I hope she okay.”
“I wonder how long she’ll be away. I tried texting her the day we flew out for the funeral, but she hasn’t answered.” As my regard remained on the SUVs that looked so out of place, a thought struck. “You think she’s staying with her girl, Brenda? You have her num—”
My words were cut short when the door to one of the trucks opened and Tiffany climbed down in tall wedges, cropped cargo pants and a yellow cropped hoodie, exposing her midriff. Her hippy strut was purposeful, chin lifted into the air as she approached the front door.
“You there, yo?” Tasche asked.
I blinked several times. “Sorry. I was gonna ask if you have Brenda’s number but just saw something that caught my attention. I’ll call you back.”
“A’ight. I’m ‘bout to fall the fuck out anyway. Later.”
“Bye.” I pulled the phone from my ear with my eyes glued to Tiffany.
Slowly, I rounded the house on the grass, peering inside as Tiffany entered through the front door. I watched as she glanced all around when inside, taking in the place. For a while, no one noticed her, I imagined because everyone was busy gathering the last of their things to go.
I stepped onto the front porch, still undetected by Tiffany. Her head whipped left and right, seemingly with rapt curiosity.
“Aunt Tiff!” I backed up just before Iesha bounded the hallway until colliding with Tiffany’s midsection. “You look so pretty!”
“Hey, baby!” Tiffany tittered with obvious delight. “Thank you! Where’s everybody?”
“They coming. Mommy just packed the baby’s bag.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Hey, Tiffany,” Taaliba called out, leaving the kitchen and headed for the stairs to the second floor. She was on a call.
“Hey, girl!” Tiffany’s greeting was starkly upbeat. “I’m ready for this flight!”
Taaliba’s attention of Tiffany didn’t go past her two words to her. But as Taaliba ascended, her older brother descended. His face was blank, feline eyes impassive as he held our son to his shoulder.
Sadik stopped well before the landing, his head falling to the side, mutedly questioning her.
“I used the same transportation as the family, remember!” Tiffany explained with a smile in her voice.
“Iesha,” Sadik called out. “Go help Mommy with baby NeNe.”
Without a murmur of a question, Iesha skipped off into the living room.
Sadik dropped down a few more steps. “You had to ride to the house with transportation? Come inside with security to help with luggage?”
I felt the sting of his words in her hesitation. “Sadik,” there was a croak in her delivery. “I had to use the bathroom.”
I empathized with the abrasion against her soul from his scolding. Sadik was a lion protecting the peace of his home. Instinctively, I knew this.
Quickly, I stepped inside. “Right there to your left.”
Tiffany turned to find me.
“Bilan,” Sadik started.
I shook my head. “It’s okay, Deek. She may really need to go,” I tried to soothe the blow of clipping his leadership. “Besides, she’s dripping syrup.”
“What?” Tiffany demanded, alarmed.
“I said, once again you’re somewhere I belong and you don’t.” I gazed directly into her perfectly lined eyes. “And once again, I’m granting you courtesy.” I pointed and repeated. “Right there to your left.”
Monica sauntered in with the baby on her hip and Iesha on her heels. Her expression was one of curiosity and discomfort from what she likely guessed right of what she walked in on.
“Hey, Tiff…” Monica stumbled on the emotion of her greeting.
Irene began down the stairs, appearing and sounding winded at the same time.
Tiffany supplied a quick and faint smile when responding, “Hi.”
She took off right after for the bathroom.
I climbed a few steps to meet the Sadiks, asking for my baby with outstretched arms. His father handed him over without incident.
I murmured to him, “I may be warming to the Ellises, and my baby may be one, but I’ll never concede to the Ellis way. Keep her away from my child, me, and your private parts.”
I heard him suck in a breath as I turned to go back down the stairs.
∞3∞
I treaded out of the restroom to find big ass buggy eyes against the hallway wall. Understanding it could only mean news, I tossed my chin to her.
Rory waited until women leaving the restroom next to me passed by before sauntering my way. “I hit up Luis from the resort in Costa Rica.”
“And?”
“He said they booked up, my nigga. The only way he could make something happen by tomorrow is if you wanna cop something.”
I lowered my chin, brows hiked. “Buy property?” Rory nodded. “Luis must’ve lost his goddamn mind if he thinks I’m going to buy a villa just for him to accommodate me on short notice.”
Rory shrugged. “Just act like you interested.”
My face balled. “Fuck him.”
“A’ight, then what? I can hit up Dawn in the Turks and Caicos.” I shook my head at that possibility. Rory continued her push. “She still want you to come see some properties.”
“Tiff was out there in the fall under the guise of testing out one of the properties for me. I’m not going to take advantage of Dawn like that.”
“But Bilan ain’t gone know Tiff was out there.”
My head snapped back and a grin widened my lips. “There’s no fuckin’ way I’m taking Bilan to an island I had Tiff check out in a manner of sending her away for her birthday. Bilan would skewer my fuckin’ balls! You’re a woman; you should know better, Bean.”
“Shit,” she breathed, eyes rolling away. “I’m a different type of female, my G. Fuck that.”
“Well, Bilan is, too. TCI is a no.”
“Plus, you sent Tiff out there to keep her away from Bilan for Thanksgiving. B’ll understand that shit.”
I tossed my head left to right with closed eyes. “Hell fuckin’ no.”
I’d been in Bilan’s good graces for a few months now, and the last thing I needed was to fuck it up, acting like a clueless ass clown. My fuck ups had
been countless since making her mine; this would not be one of them.
“Then what?”
I took a deep breath, leaning against the wall in the long hallway. The restaurant was busier tonight than it was when Bilan and I visited here last summer. Even now in the spring, people visited Macen Beach. It made me think of “private and low key” accommodations even harder. Then it dawned on me.
“I forgot all about fuckin’ St. Justin,” I droned, hand going to my forehead.
It was where I wanted to take her after her brother passed away, but Bilan wanted to work.
Rory’s head dropped at the revelation. “Shit! You right.” She lifted her phone, her index finger going into the air letting me know I’d sparked a thought in her brain. Rory wasn’t just a gun for me, she was a resource. I trusted her with my life, now I had to find a way to trust her with my fiancée’s and son’s.
Leaving her to do her work, I made my way back out to the restaurant. From across the room, I saw Bilan had the phone to her ear while she rocked Sadik in his car seat. As I neared them, I could hear her conversation.
“I know,” she breathed out. “Just like I understand you’ve been under a lot of pressure from what you’ve shared with me, understand he’s been under four times as much—as far as what he’s shared with me.”
She nodded, rocking our son gently. His pacifier bouncing fast, eyelids melting while he succumbed to siesta. It was after nine o’clock, so I’d let his little ass live. Bilan was right: he’d been sleeping longer stretches at night. I just wanted to make sure we weren’t hindering the process by expecting him to sleep all day.
“I know you love him, Leeb.” Bilan’s eyes met mine at that name. “I know you understand how he almost lost his son.” A concoction of betrayal, pain, and anger lanced my chest at that reminder. “Losing your nephew would have been a huge loss for you, too.” Bilan nodded, expressing her sympathy while listening, though my little sister couldn’t see her.
“Being the only female and youngest sibling has to be hard on you at times. I can only imagine. Mmmmhmmmm…” She continued to listen as I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t give a shit that Bilan caught me. Taaliba was being a brat, bringing her petty shit to my lady. “Girl, you know I know.” She hummed, cutting her eyes away from me.
Know fucking what?
“Of course, I do!” Bilan emphasized. “I don’t know much about Iban but being accosted by Sadik is like being run over by a bulldozer. The man can be completely neanderthal!” She grabbed the phone from between her head and shoulder, placing her elbow on the table, never breaking her rhythm on Sadik’s car seat. Her eyes narrowing devilishly, voice turned scandalous. “I ever tell you I think he got me pregnant on purpose?” she whispered conspiratorially.
My mouth fell and hand automatically went for her phone. Bilan moved faster, sitting back. Her eyes were pinned to mine. “Yup. The first time—” She shook her head, then quickly nodded. “I know it’s gross, but if you want me to be graceful about your grievances regarding my lover, you have to reciprocate,” she warned.
Lover.
So, I’m just your lover?
“Ewwwwww!” I could hear Taaliba cry into the phone. “Okay!”
It made me check my wrist for the time. Taaliba and my mother should have just left the hospital from visiting my father…or Iban. The thought was sobering.
“Girl, the first time we…” Bilan hesitated. “…did it, he made it clear: under no circumstance ‘no condoms,’ girl.” Her defiant eyes still on me. “And his pull out game is garba—”
I reached across the table. “That’s e-fuckin-nough!”
“Okay! Gotta go. Bye!” Bilan giggled.
“That was rather inappropriate, Bilan. She’s my baby sister,” I reminded her the moment I ended the call.
I was vexed, and for more than one reason, if I was honest.
“I know who she is, Sadik. I also know she’s not a baby, and that she sees you as an energy versus a human being. You’re not a tangible being to her, just a mighty force.”
I sat back, fucking annoyed. “Taaliba’s very much in tune with me.” I’d known this about her. “That’s not true.”
She nodded, firm on her stance. “It’s very true. She’s in tune with your moods, probably to manage you. The same goes for your father and brother, but if I’ve learned anything in this Ellis family it’s you’re the upper crust, Sadik. You. She can’t identify with you if she doesn’t know who you are.”
“As long as you and Sadik know who I am, I’m fine.”
Bilan shook her head this time. “That’s not true. Your father’s down and so is Iban.” She rolled her eyes. “Even if Iban wasn’t…compromised, he wouldn’t be the person they look to as Earl’s proxy. You would.”
“And what does that have to do with you telling her I got you pregnant on purpose?”
Her eyes fell away as she bit her bottom lip. “Because it’s true.” Her regard was on me again. “You wanted me pregnant,” she whispered. “It’s the Sadik Ellis way. I didn’t know it then, but I strongly assumed it when I found the money at the house last summer.”
But I didn’t know she was pregnant, and that fact was still troubling. I’d miscalculated Bilan. That admission brought on another thought I’d been churning over in my mind.
“Why did you stay after finding that money?” It was a question floating in my head each night since I got the call she’d found it. “You could have run farther. Why stay?”
Bilan glanced over to Sadik, who was now sound asleep. Her rocking stopped as she thought about the question, it seemed.
She took a deep breath. “Because that’s when I knew.”
“Knew what?”
Her eyes rolled up to meet mine. “I knew you really loved me—and I don’t mean that irrational claim of being in love with me you made the first night I stayed over at Elliswoods Palace. I mean the type of love that wanted me safe and protected. The type that includes provisions. The kind I haven’t had since Asad and Idil.” Her father and mother. “I subconsciously decided that day I’d stay and wait for you. I knew you’d come.”
My head reared and eyes widened. I was confused. “But you gave me hell.”
“Because I was scared out of my mind, Sadik.” A crease appeared in her forehead.
“And now?”
She glanced over to my son. “Now, I have to embrace my reality.” Bilan shrugged. “I’m a mommy to an Ellis. I can’t think of a better point of inspiration to do so.”
So badly, I wanted to ask if she was okay with that but hearing the wrong answer could send me over the edge. I decided against it.
Bilan perked up, opened an inspired smile. “You took mighty long in that bathroom! You had to unload?”
The air suspended as her lyrical chortle expelled. It was breathy and liberated, unlike I’d ever seen of her. My Nalib expressed humor at my expense and found it to be hilarious. My smile widened slowly, brows pinched.
I shook my head. “I don’t shit in public, Nalib.”
Her hands shot into the air as she cracked the hell up. “My bad. I forgot I was dealing with the super-human Sadik.” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Really?”
I nodded.
“Well, you’re alone there. I wish I could align my mind and body as you seem to have the talent to.”
I scratched the back of my head before leaning further into the table. “Are we really talking about shitting in public?”
Bilan tried laughing silently, covering her mouth. She didn’t want to awaken Sadik. I saw tears form in her eyes. My Nalib found the topic particularly humorous. I shook my head, sitting back.
“I’ve been living with you for months. I know what your shit smells like. It’s not a sexy topic.”
Her eyes burst wide as she sucked in a breath. “And yours is, Mr. Feline-eyed, golden skin, ultra-alpha?”
A proper response tipped my lips but didn’t reach my tongue. Instead, I found myself chuckling embarrassingly. “Wh
y are we even talking about this?”
Bilan continued cracking the hell up. I allowed her, her time, enjoying her mirth.
“Why are you staring at me like that?” she asked breathily while wiping her eyes.
Because I’ve never seen this carefree side of you…
“I’m trying to remember how many times you’ve laughed at the apartment in the City.”
Her silly smile dissipated into a sheepish grin. “I’m capable of laughing, Sadik.” She rolled her eyes away bashfully.
“How can I witness it more often?” She shrugged. “Did you laugh a lot before me?”
Bilan’s eyes rolled again, yet her grin remained as she peered over to our son. “Of course.”
“Answer my question.”
“What?”
“How can I see it more often?”
“I can’t answer that, Sadik.” She tried hiding behind clasped fists at her mouth. “It has to be organic.”
“Does that mean you’re not happy?”
Bilan shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Are you happy?”
She took a sip of her water. “All things considered, I’m in a good place.”
“At the apartment in the City?” I repeated.
“I never thought I’d be living in one of your investment properties in Midtown Manhattan, especially the same place you took me after the Pixie concert last year.” She nodded, processing that reality. We’d been there since Iban shot himself. There was no fucking way I’d have my family sleep there after that traumatic experience. “It’s like more than less than half the space of your high-rise, but…” She took a cleansing breath. “I have all I need there. Sadik and Sadik.”
I nodded, thrilled to hear that.
“How long will we be there?”
I tossed my head, in a shrug. “Depends on how long it takes us to decide where we’ll build our family home.”
Bilan nodded, eyes to the table. “I can look at the paperwork you gave me for my birthday tomorrow when we get back.”
I shook my head, going for my wallet to finally pay the tab. “Tomorrow, we travel.”
“Okay. So…yeah. When we get back to the apartment, I can look through them.”