by Love Belvin
However, he’d been sensitive and sweet to my child and me. Sadik was the apple of Earl’s eye, similar to how his father was to him. That warmed me to him tremendously since the first time he waylaid me—I now knew in an earnest manner—outside of Ellis Academy headquarters.
“You got pictures of my grandbaby?” Irene shrilled in the background. “No one’s sent me any!”
“That’s because I gave him his best features, baby girl,” he placated her in sound, but not in argument. “You only gave him that blond hair that’s gonna turn gray eventually.” Earl snickered in a flirtatious manner, if that made sense.
“And your eyes will turn gray eventually, too, with old age,” Irene returned. “So what are you saying, Earl?”
Earl’s response was a wink to me. His good-humored nature was welcomed but couldn’t cover the undercurrent foreboding I felt was happening in the family. I’d been feeling it for days.
“So, when are they looking to discharge you?” I asked.
Earl looked over to where I assumed Irene sat. I could have been wrong: Earl kept a team around him.
After a beat, he answered, “Maybe tomorrow. They just waiting to hear back from the physical therapist about scheduling. The nurses on the compound is ready for me.”
I nodded. “Okay. We’ll be ready, too.”
“When y’all coming back?”
I felt my face tighten. Sadik hadn’t said. “I honestly don’t know. Now, I’m feeling a bit embarrassed because I should. I have to get back to work!” My boss was Earl’s wife. Not knowing when I’d return to work wasn’t a good look. It didn’t matter that Irene was practically retired and not involved in the day-to-day business of Ellis Academy. “Sadik hasn’t mentioned when to you?”
“Honey,” Earl exhaled hard and with conviction. “Sadik ain’t been saying much to me lately. Unless he done said something to his mother…” His gaze went to the right of him, I assumed addressing Irene. I couldn’t make out what she remarked or if she’d said anything at all. Earl’s feline eyes returned. “I don’t know. But tell him I said a call to check on his old man would be nice.”
That was strange. Sadik mentioned speaking to his mother every day. Why not be as frequent with his father who had been ill, recovering from a heart attack?
Once again, something felt off about this family. Something unusual, even for them.
I heard voices—new voices. Earl’s regard went above the camera frame as he listened. “Listen,” he spoke eventually. “That’s the nurse. They wanna take me for another test. Give that Ellis baby a kiss from his PaPa. Tell him I’m getting better just for him.”
“Okay. You can give it to him soon. We’ll be right over, Earl.”
“Okay, baby. Talk soon.”
I nodded and he ended the call. My gaze went blindly into the distance as I placed the phone down. That was strange. It didn’t feel good at all. I couldn’t claim to know the Ellis family that well. I’d just met them a year ago. But this felt…off.
I leaned back in the armchair. Since I met Sadik, my life had been on fast forward. The gifts, travel, mind-blowing sex, meeting his volatile and dysfunctional family, getting pregnant, learning he’s capable of murder, running from him, having his baby, and now being married to him.
Married…
I leaped into an upright position. I was now a married woman. How sporadic! The last thing on my mind when I woke up yesterday was that I’d be exchanging vows with Sadik in front of our son, his staff, and our witnesses.
“I’m so happy to be your witness!”
Keisha’s enthusiastic words tumbled to the front of my mind. I considered that for a moment. Were the Richards my witnesses or Sadik’s? I didn’t know they’d be joining us in St. Justin until they showed abruptly. Sadik said he invited them out when Julius called, needing to vent about being stressed. But Julius mentioned last night his announcement was simply having a solid plan for his cabinet. He could have done that with a call, email, or text.
Then there was the officiant. I was absolutely positive of him being the Ellis’ pastor. How was he here, in the Caribbean, on such short notice? Sadik’s staff being present, including Camille with the baby?
I collapsed back in the chair. I’d been set up. My life was no longer my own. Sadik orchestrated everything, and so unnecessarily. I would have been his wife. And just like with being pregnant with S.Q.E., the second; he didn’t have to declare no condoms with me to have him. I would have given him babies, too, just in my time. I’ve always wanted children. Just by the right man—
The pregnancy tests!
I sat back in the recliner with a glass of lemonade. The sun was bright and the breeze mild. We were so close to the shoreline; the sound of crashing waves was louder than the music Jules played on his portable Bluetooth speaker. He’d been rocking Young Lord since they joined Sadik and me out here a couple of hours ago.
Keisha played with Sadik on her lap while Jules was on his iPad. I took a break from the business of my devices to enjoy the view. Off to the left, I could see a vessel coming in, moving at a modest speed.
“That’s us,” Jules asked from the right of me.
I nodded. “They’re early.”
I hoped Bilan had awakened. We weren’t due to set sail for another forty-five minutes, but she liked to wear makeup and jewelry sometimes on the beach and would need time for all of that. I thought to call Camille and ask her to give Bilan a heads up.
“Is that a yacht?” Keisha sounded surprised.
“Yup,” her husband answered.
As I reached for my phone, she asked, “That’s the one we’re going out on?”
Jules replied, “You know who we’re rolling with. Nothing but the best.”
A warm hand pushed down my shoulder just as I lifted the phone from the table. Then her head was at mine and warm lips on my cheek. She smelled of vanilla and fresh fruit.
“You let me sleep in again,” she murmured before clasping my earlobe between her teeth.
She lifted from me and ambled to the side of my chair where she sat with a plate of fruit and an omelet.
“Hey, Deeky,” she called over to Sadik on Keisha’s chest.
“Say morning to your momma,” Keisha playfully told Sadik.
“You slept well, huhn?” Julius asked Bilan. “That dude forgot he left you tied to the bed?”
“Fuck you,” I mumbled.
Bilan snickered. “When’s the last time he’s eaten?”
“Less than an hour ago.” With his clenched fists wrapped around her index fingers, Keisha raised Sadik’s little arms in the air.
“Did he nap at all?” Bilan asked me.
I nodded. “He dozed off for about thirty minutes before they came out.”
“That omelet looks delicious,” Keisha observed.
Julius glanced our way and pulled down his sunglasses to zoom in on her plate. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you eat food not fed to you by that brooding nigga.”
I took another look at her plate. It seemed she started eating before coming out here. My eyes climbed up to her face and immediately, Bilan’s expression turned forlorn…expectant as her brows pinched. And that’s when it hit me.
“Shit,” I scoffed, unbelievably anxious. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
Bilan nodded, body tense as she leaned into me. Her reach for me was needy. Bilan was emotional. It happened so fast. She was over me, wanting an embrace, and Jules was on his feet, removing her plate from her lap. I grabbed her into my arms, half stunned and half protective.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered close to her ear.
Her body trembled. “I don’t want to overwhelm us.” Her delivery was muffled in my chest.
“You feel overwhelmed?”
Her head lifted, heavy eyes on me. “You’re not disappointed?”
I snorted, appreciating her coyness as I raised her chin to meet her lips.
“Remember what you blurted to Taaliba about getti
ng pregnant with Sadik?” I whispered. Her face folded. “I’m too old to be misaiming.”
Bilan’s jaw dropped.
∞8∞
“Seems like a lot of shit going on in your world right now, huhn?” Julius remarked while drying off.
I pulled the towel from my head and peered over to him. We were on the stern of the boat and had just come up from a deep dive. The water was exceptionally cold down there, so we didn’t stay long. Now toweling off, the beaming sun was relieving.
“How do you mean?”
“You know…” He shrugged. “Just with your pops being down, you having Sadik, you getting married, and now the new baby on its way.”
“It’s life.”
“A lot, though.”
“Nothing I can’t manage.” I stood straight, facing him.
“But can Bilan?”
Shrugging with my lips, I asked, “Why wouldn’t she be able to?”
He tossed the towel over his shoulder. “I’m not saying she isn’t able to. I’m spot checking to be sure she understands the good, bad, and ugly of being Mrs. Ellis.”
“I don’t follow.”
“You haven’t mentioned Iban since you called to tell me he’d shot himself in your son’s nursery.” His forehead stretched. “In front of said son and his mother. The Sadik Ellis I know can’t sleep with unaddressed infractions.”
I smirked. “And what are you saying?”
“What I’ve been saying for years when I’m aware of the crazy shit happening in your other world; your Ellis world. And that is you have to find a way to process that shit before it turns you dark.”
I closed my eyes, shaking my head. “Richards, you trying to stuff counseling down my damn throat again?”
“Look…” he argued with his hands in the air. “You’re my number one guy. I give a fuck about your mental state. And while I know you have the mental capacity of the entire U.S. government, the reality is you’re just one man. You now have everything a man could wish for: supportive family, wealth, several successful businesses, a wife, and now a family. All of that along with the bullshit of being Earl Ellis’ son. That’s a weight not many can carry. Shit, look at Iban. He’s not even built for it!”
Placing my hands on my waist, really wanting to get back to Bilan, who was on the bow, I sighed deeply. “Thanks for your realness. I appreciate it, but Jules, I’m not the type of man to spill my fuckin’ guts to anyone. No one can manage my shit better than me.”
“That’s what Tony Soprano thought at first, too.”
I chuckled and started toward the staircase.
“Okay,” He continued as he followed behind. “if you’re not going to try to talk to someone about balancing your shit, then at least encourage Bilan to. Bruh, she had a panic attack last night, exchanging vows with you!”
I nodded. Bilan did have issues I wasn’t quite sure how to term. I’d been looking into a skilled professional for her since she’d had Sadik. Now that she was pregnant again, I had to reconsider my stance. During the first pregnancy, I didn’t want her seeing a shrink. Now, I didn’t think I could delay it for another nine or so months. I wouldn’t share this with Jules out of respect of Bilan’s privacy.
“All taken under advisement.” I reached for his shoulder while extending my arm toward the stairs for him to go in front of me. “Now, let’s grab a light snack before showing your city boy ass how to waterski.”
Rolling his eyes, Jules led the way up the stairs. “Light-skinned, pretty ass-eyed muthafucka.”
“I’m dreading leaving!” Keisha faux cried.
My face tightened as I sat reclined on the built-in padded lounger. “You just got here.”
“I know. When Julius gave me the news about the opportunity to fly out to the Caribbean, he made clear it would only be for a night.”
Utterly shocked, I parroted, “One night?” She smiled before lifting her wine glass to her mouth and nodding. “That’s it?”
She swallowed, resting the base of her stemware on her thigh. “Yup. I was able to get a sitter and time off work at the last minute. That was a reach, girl!”
“Wow.”
“We never get away unless Sadik is flying us out somewhere randomly.” She paused briefly. “And not particularly with women. Sometimes, it’s the only way he could spend time with Julius. And since we got married, Sadik would arrange for me and sometimes our kids. Other than that, Jules and I rarely get time away, especially since he’d been plotting on running for mayor of Paterson. For two years, our lives have been about this campaign year.”
“I bet it’ll be worth it. Sadik shared with me the latest numbers.”
“It better be. Running for a political office is more enduring than waiting to have a baby. So much more money and worrying goes into the development and labor process. All of that and you don’t know if you’ll deliver.”
My head bounced up and down as the motor of the yacht revved and we began to move. That meant the guys were done with their diving. I waited with bated breath for him. I saw Julius walk onto the bow first. My body opened as I sat up anticipating his bestie. Sadik’s globular shoulders swung left to right as he appeared behind him. He swiped his nose as his eyes were set out on the water. I noticed the muscles in his face were rigid and I had a feeling it wasn’t just the sun causing it. I smiled when those golden eyes finally meandered over to me.
I watched fixedly as Sadik sat on the sofa across from us behind a small table covered in vegetables, cheeses, crackers, and spreads. He began fixing himself a small plate. Unable to help myself, I stood from the lounger bed and wobbled over to him against the moving of the boat as we began to pick up speed.
“Bilan, your ass is nice!” Keisha exclaimed behind me. “And how did your waist go down so fast if you’re not breastfeeding?”
If I wasn’t so preoccupied with my…Sadik, I would have been self-conscious about standing without my cover-up.
“Sadik’s boot camp class,” I explained, partially joking. “You okay?” I whispered once seated next to him.
I slid as close as possible. Across from us, Julius laid out next to his wife.
Sadik kissed my forehead, I guessed answering that way. I watched him spread hummus and guacamole on vegetables and crackers. He ate quietly. I nudged him playfully, asking him to share. It was strange to see him eat without me. Sadik spread hummus on pita bread and pushed it toward my hand. That’s when I knew something was off.
Good-hearted about his rejection, I smirked as I shook my head. Seconds later, he lifted the bread to my mouth and I took a big bite. The moment it hit the roof of my mouth, my stomach growled. Food oddly tasted better from his hands.
“So how many kids do you guys want?” Keisha asked, leaning into Julius across from us.
My regard swung over to Sadik for his answer.
“Lots,” he answered, spiritlessly. “As many as Bilan’ll let me get in her.”
If it wasn’t for his words, I would be crushed by his mood. But I knew Sadik enough to know he wouldn’t lie. He wanted a large family…with me.
“I’m thinking three…no more than four.” I smiled his way. Sadik wouldn’t grace me with his eyes. I squeezed his thigh, asking for more food. “I just thought I’d have a couple of years in between—at least a year.” I giggled.
Jules chuckled and Keisha laughed, nodding in understanding, it seemed. Sadik didn’t react.
“I still want one more,” Julius confessed, regard raking over to his wife imploringly. “Just one more.”
“How many years after you quit your political ambitions?” she challenged.
Julius shrugged. “We can do both.” He pouted crossly.
I giggled at his reaction and Keisha rolled her eyes.
“Chile, these men only want to hump and spread their seeds. They don’t see the other part of it, like your body recovering and resuming its original state that attracted them to you in the first place. And, by the way, in most cases, after having multiple child
ren, the likelihood of your body returning to pre-partum state is damn near improbable.”
I laughed again, gaze roving over to Sadik. He was now on his phone, attention lost to it. Sadik was drifting away. The question was, when did he start? We were fine when we left the villa, celebrating the incoming baby and kissing S.Q.E., the second goodbye. He seemed in good spirits when we motored over the water to a safe place for them to dive. And now… Sadik was off.
I reached to caress the skin of his head gently. “You okay?” I whispered.
Sadik’s feline orbs swept slowly my way. He regarded me before kissing the tip of my nose. “Fine, baby.”
Before I could probe, Julius asked, “How long before you guys move back into the high rise?” He scratched his brow. “Damn. That place is bigger than the apartment in the City, but not big enough for a growing family. Y’all need a damn edifice with your aspirations of having a school of babies.”
After a few beats, Sadik muttered, “We’ll be fine. Taking our time to figure out where to build. Bilan’s still deciding between three properties, and my realtor just sent me a few.”
Really?
“Nice. Where?” Julius probed, lightheartedly. “In Hunterdon County near the palace?” Sadik’s face turned rigid as he gazed into his phone. Then he shook his head. “Central Jersey?”
Sadik finally placed his phone down and gazed into the open air as though contemplating. “I’m thinking upstate New York. There are a few impressive stretches of land out there to build on in Cove Neck and Sands Point.” He sat back, shrugged with his mouth as he stroked the hair on his chin. “Shit. Or Connecticut. There’re dope spots out there with the capacity to build big.”