by Love Belvin
A goofy grin lifted on Brenda’s face as she bobbed her head, likely out of nervousness. Or maybe she was bouncing to the beat of music; her ears were plugged with Airpods.
“She’s too old to be in trouble.” It was me who waved her off this time. “You ladies go. We’ll just be a minute.”
Slowly, my family filed out of the kitchen. After speaking to Monica when leaving Iban’s room last summer, I decided to make more of an effort at getting to know my family. I had taken the baby to see them several times over the summer. Sadik attended with us twice since. It hadn’t been smooth sailing dealing with a competitive cousin like Joslyn or a know-it-all like Angela, but being with family had its rewards. One was Brenda. She and I had gotten to know each other more often, and it had been a pleasant surprise.
After seeing them off, I spun around to Brenda. “Why haven’t you told them?”
“Who said I ain’t?” Brenda’s grin was infectious, but I wouldn’t get suckered in.
“They did, because they came today. All of them,” I emphasized.
She laughed. “That’s because I only told my mom.”
My shoulders dropped as I considered that. “Hmmm…”
“And guess what…”
“What?”
“She said she knew already.”
I sighed dramatically, rolling my eyes to a close. “That relieves me so.”
Brenda laughed again. These bouts of giggles was a symptom of her insecure persona, according to her therapist—our therapist. When I gently approached her about the incident with Rory and how I’d heard about her time in the strip club, Brenda told me she was gay. It wasn’t something that surprised me. She walked around in loose clothing, body holding no grace in posture, her cornrows was the only style she knew, and she worked with mostly men. Either my younger cousin was gay or asexual as Taaliba—who was an entirely different case—claimed. My concern for Brenda, however, was she didn’t have to feel inferior to anyone because she came from a family who didn’t agree with her sexuality. I believed she had taken high risks because she wasn’t comfortable enough being her out loud and pursuing happiness openly.
“Why?”
“Because it tells me she’s been paying attention. There’s nothing worse than a parent who doesn’t recognize the various elements that make up their children.” I learned that from Taaliba’s situation. To this very day, no one had a clue she’d been seeing her former professor and Danny Lopez at the same time. With her, being attracted to a man and woman at the same time wasn’t a concern, so much as doing it in secret was. Neither party had a clue about the other. That was a dangerous game. “If Aunt Astur claimed to not have known, it would mean she hadn’t been paying attention or didn’t have the balls to ask. We’re a family. It’s our job to provide a safe community for you in spite of the non-violent things you do in your personal world.”
“Well, she ain’t been saying much since I told her. I can tell she’s mad, but…” Brenda shrugged, that smile grin in tow.
“That’s not your problem. But you’re not trying to pick up random people like strippers anymore, are you?”
She laughed. “What’s wrong with strippers?”
“Nothing. The problem is with ‘random.’ Whether it’s a stripper or a mailman, you deserve deliberate and intentional.” I winked.
“You right. You right.” She extended her hand, offering me a handshake.
I pulled her into a hug. “I think you’re my favorite cousin.” How could she not be? Brenda was vulnerable and now transparent with me. She was generous. Sometimes when she’d come to see me, she’d bring loaded fries from B-Way Burger or delicious chocolates from Guilty Pleasures. She was funny, smart, and kind, too.
“Who was before you got all up in my business?” She asked with a hiked brow.
“No one!” Brenda chuckled, causing me to laugh myself. “Now, come on. They’re waiting on you. And I need to use the potty before I hit the road.”
We started for the entrance of the kitchen. There were supplies all around: saws, hammers, ropes, cords, nail guns and such we had to step over or walk around. I couldn’t wait for this process to be done.
“Where you gonna do that?” Brenda asked.
“That porta-potty out there. It’s what the builders use; it must be functional.” We continued to the vestibule section. “I swear, I’ve had no water in hours to avoid this very thing.”
“Yeah, but you got two of them dancing in there. You good.”
When we passed through the entryway, I could see my aunts and cousins had loaded up in two cars.
“Tell them not to wait for me. I don’t know how disgusting this ‘outhouse’ will be.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Nothing out here but lions, tigers, and bears.” I patted her shoulder. “I’m in perfect condition to take them on.”
Brenda laughed as she took off for the car. “You crazy, cuzzo.”
She went in one direction, and I power-walked in another, passing more supplies, unstained wood, more ropes—which brought just one thing to mind—tiles for flooring, and other equipment I couldn’t name. It was just a messy clutter all round. The porta-potty was on the side of the house. Thankfully it was unlocked and other than a slight stench of urine, bearable. How clean could I expect a bathroom used by men only to be?
Right away, I locked the door and did my business. I was surprised to see the liquid soap dispenser full. One could only assume the men building my home didn’t wash their hands after using the bathroom.
Just gross…
I rolled my eyes as I pulled at the toilet tissue roll to dry my hands. Despicable! I immediately decided to use my hand sanitizer the moment I stepped outside. After using the tissue to unlock the door, I tossed it into the overflowing trash. Then I shifted my crossover purse in front of me and pushed the door open with my foot. I stepped outside and glanced down to dig through my purse when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand. My head shot up and Jason Anderson appeared.
My heart dropped from my chest and body instantly chilled. He stood about five yards away wearing a dark gray trench coat. His hands were pushed behind his back as he inspected me. I could see his hair had grown out considerably since the summer. Those tightly coiled strands on his head were now grouped in to tiny locs on top of his head. His eyes were darker, skin blemished, and his aura murky. I could feel it emanating from him like a furnace. Jason looked familiar, but this wasn’t him.
My pulse galloped in my neck when I attempted to casually speak first. “Really? After all these months, this is where you pop up on me?”
Jason’s expression was impassive. “You’re not surprised.”
My mouth was a citrusy mess I only experience when nervous and afraid. I shrugged. “Of course, I am. You come up here on an Ellis property. I’m surprised.” I sniffled back a cry, trying to cover it with a giggle. “You know his security is always around. I’m surprised no one told me you were here.”
He snorted, face finally opened into a grin I didn’t recognize from him. “You’re by yourself, my Somali girl. Don’t lie.”
“How do you know?” My eyes squinted in curiosity.
“I hacked your phone.”
My mask of bravery fell. “Ho—how? When?”
He scratched his head contemplatively. “It started when I was alerted of someone signing in to a sensitive, state artifacts database on campus, using my credentials. I wondered who it was and needed to know, because now that I’m an alumnus, I had to answer for it. When I saw what the search characters were, I recalled me being so generous and sharing that resource with one person.” The humor in his face disappeared. “You. Who else gives a shit about the Ellises?”
“You still haven’t answered how you were able to hack into my phone?”
“It’s called technology.” His sneer was a new energy of his being introduced to me. “Through a program a friend of mine created. I was able to gain your cell’s identification informatio
n from the times you accessed the school’s database from it. Your computer, too. You’re quite boring, by the way. I guess that Ellis guy isn’t into nudes or tease vids.”
“Why do I suddenly feel you are?”
He scoffed. “The first time you’ve actually paid attention to me outside of having me as a human pet?” A brow raised skeptically.
I swallowed hard, fighting for a concrete façade. “Don’t come up on my property unannounced to talk about something so stupid as that. No. Especially after I learned how sneaky you are—were—having sex with Randi in my parents’ house.”
Jason laughed. “Oh! She finally opens her eyes!” he shouted into the open, chilled air. When his dark irises met mine again, the promising leer returned. “I only ate her pussy. Let’s not make shit up. Damn! How do you go through life for twenty-nine years so fucking blind, Bilan? I’m sure they make them brighter than you in Somalia.”
My face folded. “What? There’s nothing dumb about me!”
He nodded, chuckling sinisterly in my face. “Oh, there is.” Jason finally moved, shifting weight on his hips. His arms fell aside him, revealing a gun. My hands clasped my purse at my round belly. “Your ‘husband’”—he used air quotations with his hands, arrogantly brandishing the gun—“is sharp, though. He figured out a lot.” Then his eyes narrowed. “He didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Jason sputtered a laugh. Arrogant and loud, he laughed in my face. That familiar sense of betrayal blanketed me. “Tell me what, Jason?”
I waited for him to quiet. He dipped his chin, but his eyes remained on me. “That we had a friend in common.”
“Who?”
“My cousin, Damien Brown.”
All types of synapses fired in my brain, at first, trying to recall the name. “Damien?” I finally got it. Never would I have connected the two to figure it out. Visions of being accosted and taken to an abandoned building to be killed circled in my mind. What was going on here? First, Damien, then Iban, now…Jason? My phone was dead and the closest neighbor was over two miles away. I was pregnant—high risk at that from the twins. All of that and I was discovering another inconvenient truth. “Was he your friend or cousin?”
“My cousin. We didn’t keep in touch much until a few years ago. He hit me up saying he didn’t know I was in school. That’s when he told me about the girl he wanted me to keep an eye on.”
“So you were watching me for Damien?”
“I was having fun, trying to fuck you. He just asked that I made friends with you.”
My blood turned cold, and I felt light-headed. “Did he say why?” If he did, it meant Jason knew of my torment the entire time while posing as a friend.
Jason shrugged. “Eventually. I didn’t care, though. I thought you were cool…really liked you. And then Ellis happened. Damien thought he wouldn’t be trouble. That once he fucked you, he’d be done. That was the part that fucked me up. He did fuck you; fast and easy.”
Suddenly, I felt naked. “That’s not true, and none of your business.”
“Maybe it wasn’t. Damien told me to leave it alone, but I couldn’t. I called the FBI on him figuring they could find something on an Ellis man.”
That was how he got in touch with the FBI…
He’d reached out to them last summer.
“Because he supposedly had something you wanted, you threaten his livelihood? That’s not fair. It wasn’t your place either. I’m not your business, Jason.”
“You weren’t until Ellis killed Damien,” he grated. I blinked hard. “And he got away with it. I tried the nice guy route of trying to call, text, and even stopped by Ellis’ apartment. You listened to him and ignored me. You’ve changed, Bilan.”
“No, I haven’t. I’ve never owed you anything.” He was crazy. “We never dated.”
He shrugged noncommittally. “And my cousin didn’t live…because of you.”
Rustles from the leaves on the ground caught both our attention. Jason glanced to his right and my regard shot into the opposite direction. I didn’t see anything. Nothing more was heard.
Cautiously, Jason advised, “Let’s move into the house.” He waved his gun over his shoulder, demonstrating his command as he walked backward. Then he returned his gaze to me as I followed him with apprehension. I couldn’t come up with a plan to run. I couldn’t run. Nestled into my third trimester, carrying twins, I didn’t possess the stamina. “I know you’re up here by yourself. I saw the texts you sent to your family and the one you sent to Ellis saying you’d be fine alone.”
Anger wrapped around my neck, choking me. He’d been reading my text messages.
“You look shocked, Bilan.” He scoffed. “You’re naïve, just like your friend, Randi, and Damien said. You can’t see the forest from the trees. And you think you can keep up with the brightest Ellis of the kids. I’ve done some searching, and learned a lot about the sordid family. I’m sure you know his parents have live-in lovers. They do it out in the open.” His face tightened as he stopped several yards from the house almost center of a huge slab of black granite. In the recesses of my mind, I realized it would be cut and used for the countertops Kimmy and I had agreed on. “How do you think that shapes the mind of a rich young man? How many bitches do you think he’s fucking right now? I count three, including sexy ass Sofia Cruz, and thickums, Tiffany Jones. She’s a boss bitch—Sofia, too. They’re sharp minded. Not unsophisticated and gullible like yo—eww—”
His words were cut short by a manila rope I didn’t see being thrown until the lasso had slipped over his head and was quickly tightened and yanked. Jason’s body spasmed, trying to pull the braided lariat from around him. His lips tightened to a squeeze as he twisted against the granite, eyes bulging when panic kicked in at realizing he couldn’t escape.
My spine juddered watching him and my hands went to by belly protectively. In my peripheral, Rory was approaching at my right, low with her gun drawn at him. Jason’s eyes mushroomed and his gun pushed up above his head. He shot wildly into the air and to his right, clearly having no target in sight.
Finally, my regard ascended and saw Sadik’s golden face set into a scowl as he manipulated the rope, pulling it back against the flying bullets. Instinctively, I reached for my purse and pulled out my gun. After paying a few seconds of focus while Jason lashed in the air, I pulled the trigger three times, hitting Jason twice. His body leaped backward into the air, colliding with the black granite slab before falling listlessly onto the ground.
“Fuck!” Sadik yelped from the roof. “Rory could’ve done it, Nalib!” The arteries in his forehead were pronounced as he scolded me. Simultaneously, Jamil crunching leaves beneath his feet to the right startled me again.
My focus went above the house again. “So could I!” I shouted back past the point of mild tempered. Jason called me naïve in a way that hurt like never before. Expecting people to be how they present didn’t make me naïve; it made me optimistic about mankind. It was something I’d been tackling in therapy. The very word raised my hackles. Right now was not the time to challenge me. My head whipped to find Rory over my shoulder. “Somebody had to! He could have shot Sadik!”
“Man, I had him, B.” Rory rolled her eyes, pushing her gun into its holster. “I been doing this shit since before you had ya first nut.”
A spit of laughter shot out over my head. I pivoted to see Sadik cackling on the roof.
“Oh, that’s funny?” I turned back to Rory with my gun pointed. “What do you know about my first nut, Rory?”
“Aye!” Sadik shouted, the authoritarian bark reverberated in my spine. “You’re going too far!”
“You go too far!” I kept my gun on her. “You keep things from me and tell your employee about my sexual experiences?”
Rory’s big eyes blossomed. “Yo, that’s true! I was just fuckin’ witchu!” She turned to Jamil with a delighted smile. “Didn’t I tell you sire hit it first!” She guffawed, and from the looks of it, Jamil was prepared to join in.
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“No, he did not!” I shouted, feeling like a child.
“The fuck I didn’t, Nalib!” Sadik yelled. “Don’t fuckin’ pop off because you got a Glock in your hands.”
Was he serious! As he disappeared from the roof, I discovered Jamil had been laughing with Rory, only his was apologetic when our eyes met briefly. He couldn’t look me in the face, though he tried just as he did to stop laughing. Rory disregarded me as she howled.
When Sadik emerged in the entrance of the house, I asked, “Why are you here?”
“You think I’d let you come up here alone?”
My chilled body began trembling out of nowhere. “This is going to be my home! When do you think I’ll be able to come and go alone?”
Out of breath, he sauntered over and pulled me into his chest, holding me fervently. “You’re cold and shaking,” he noted. A heavy breath left my lungs. It was dangerous how at home I felt in Sadik’s arms.
“Did you know he was related to Damien?” When he didn’t answer, I knew he had known. “You can’t be married to me and continue to keep things like this to yourself.”
“It’s not what you think. I didn’t know until a few months ago when my FBI contact made the connection. I wish I knew he was diabolical. He’d been dealt with accordingly a long time ago. I’ve been trying to call you for an hour now.”
“My phone died.” My eyes closed the moment the tears fell.
“I was coming up with Rory anyway to surprise you and your family,” he explained. “We were running late when I got a call from the sheriff. His officers reported an unknown car we soon realized matched Jason’s plates was in the area. He must’ve gotten lost trying to find this place because the patrols saw him in several places since the first sighting. That’s when I called Jamil to try to get here before us or at least meet us.”
Sadik withdrew from me sooner than I needed. He walked over and kicked Jason’s leg.
“Yeah,” Rory observed out loud. “He’s a goner. Bilan been puttin’ in that work at the range, I see.” She pounded her chest. “Respect.”
“Yeah, man.” Jamil agreed. “Good work, Bilan!”