by Todd, Ian
“Er, hello, Mr Broon.”
“Hellorerr, girls, pleased tae meet youse. So, whit hiv youse been up tae the day, eh? Oot spending aw that hard-earned dosh, nae doubt,” he’d said wae a friendly chuckle.
“We’ve jist been oot and aboot looking fur oor first flat thegither efter graduating,” Lizzie, no known fur her shyness, hid responded pleasantly.
“Oh, ye hiv, hiv ye? And how hiv youse goat oan then?” he’d asked.
“We’ve been searching fur a few weeks noo and we think we’ve found wan we like across in Montague Crescent, jist aff Great Western Road, that we kin jist afford. It’s wee, bit it’ll dae fur the time being, at least,” Senga hid replied.
“Aye, we’ve jist tossed a coin tae see who’s getting the couch,” Lizzie hid added.
“So, ye lost the toss, Senga?” Wan-bob hid asked, smiling.
“Ah’m afraid so.”
“So, why ur ye no gaun fur a two bedroom flat then?”
“We cannae afford it.”
“So, efter lying oan a couch aw night, ye’ll be expected tae put in a full shift the next day in the casualty department as well?” Wan-bob hid asked, wan eyebrow raised. “Aye, yer ma telt me where in The Royal ye work.”
“Oh, it’s no as bad as it sounds, Mr Broon. Ah’ll get the bed during the day when Ah’m oan the nightshift,” Senga hid replied, attempting tae lessen the impact ae their situation.
“Twelve hour shifts, Wan-bob. Ah’ve telt Senga that she disnae need tae leave hame, bit she won’t listen, so she wullnae,” her ma hid chipped in.
“Hiv ye signed the lease or put doon a deposit yet?” Wan-bob hid asked them.
“No yet. We wur meeting up fur a bite tae eat wae Ma and then me and Lizzie ur heiding up tae the factor’s office wae two months deposit and tae collect oor rent book.”
“Aye, well, jist haud yer horses a wee bit, girls. Who’s the factor?”
“A Mr Montieth fae Woodside Accommodation,” Lizzie hid replied.
“Bob Montieth? Ach, Ah know Bob…he’s a business partner ae mine. Look, girls, hing back fur a day or two and Ah’ll see whit Ah kin dae, eh?” Wan-bob hid volunteered.
“Oh, er, look, we don’t want tae put ye tae any trouble, Mr Broon,” Senga hid stammered, embarrassed.
“Ach, not at all, girls, not at all, don’t ye worry aboot a thing. Ah’m jist glad Ah kin be ae help tae an auld and dear friend’s daughter. Look, Ah’ll need tae shoot-the-craw. Ah’ve goat a wee bit ae business tae attend tae. Ah’ll send wan ae ma boys up tae yer ma’s o’er the next few days tae let ye know how Ah’ve goat oan, okay?”
And wae that, wan ae the biggest gangsters in Glesga hid disappeared in the direction ae The Queen’s Bar oan North Fredrick Street, efter gieing her ma a wee peck oan the cheek.
“Well, wis that no a piece ae good luck then, eh?” her ma hid exclaimed, her eyes shining and a big smile oan her face.
Two days later, Senga and Lizzie hid picked up the keys tae a spacious, two-bedroomed flat in tree-lined Barrington Drive, which wis ten quid a month cheaper than the wee, wan-bedroomed wan, that they’d been gonnae sign a lease oan originally. They also didnae hiv tae put doon a deposit either. At first, Lizzie hid accepted their good luck withoot question, then no long efter they’d moved in, she’d started tae pester Senga aboot the well-dressed businessman who’d goat them a flat wae cheap rent and nae deposit.
“Look, the guy’s a gangster. In fact, he’s probably the biggest gangster in Glesga, so he is,” she’d said tae Lizzie wan night when they wur hauf-pissed.
“A gangster? Ye mean tae tell me yer ma hings aboot wae gangsters?” Lizzie hid scoffed in disbelief.
“Of course she disnae, ya idiot, ye.”
“So, whit’s the connection then?”
“She knew him at school. They wur brought up thegither in the Toonheid when they wur wee weans. Ah didnae know she knew him. It wis only efter we went hame that day efter he said he’d help us, that Ma telt me how she knew him.”
“Aye, bit did she tell ye he wis a gangster…a real gangster?” Lizzie hid persisted.
“Naw, bit Ah realised that Ah’d seen him before. He’s been in the lounge in Jonah’s up in Springburn that me and ma pals drank in a few times.”
“And?”
“And, well, nothing.”
“So, how dae ye know he’s a big-time gangster then?”
“That…that friend ae mine…Johnboy, knows him quite well and his name’s come up in company in the past.”
“Johnboy? Whit, no Johnboy The Basturt, famous fur dangling ye aboot oan the end ae a string since ye wur a wean…that Johnboy?”
“Lizzie, shut yer geggy, and pour the wine,” Senga remembered retorting, while lifting up her empty glass and waving it across at her.
Whit Senga hidnae telt Lizzie that night wis that Johnboy hid asked her oot fur a date, the day before he’d been arrested. And it wisnae jist fur a drink doon at Jonah’s wae the rest ae the crowd either, bit fur something tae eat before heiding oan tae the pictures in the toon centre. She’d known Johnboy Taylor since they’d sat thegither in class at St David’s Primary school. Oan her tenth birthday, he’d bravely turned up in class wae a box ae Maltesers and a birthday card. The teacher, Olive Oyl, hid made such a fuss aboot it, that Johnboy hid crawled back intae his shell efter Senga hid refused tae accept them, and although friendly and wan ae her pals, he’d avoided any closer contact wae her ever since. There hid been a few times o’er the years when it looked like something might happen between them, bit her best pal, Pearl Campbell, hid been in love wae him even mair than whit Senga hid been, so any opportunity fur gaun oot winching, hid evaporated in a pipe dream. No long efter Pearl finally realised that Johnboy wisnae interested in her as a girlfriend, she moved away up north as a junior reporter or whitever it wis they called apprentice reporters these days, tae work oan a newspaper called The Northern Scot in a place called Elgin. This, efter aw they years, hid left the field open fur Senga at long last. No only that, bit Pearl hid written tae her saying that she wis gaun oot wae some farmer boy. The day before their first official date, Johnboy and another pal ae Senga’s, Silent Smith, hid goat arrested fur robbing a bank up in Maryhill the previous November in which two polismen hid been shot. As if that hidnae been bad enough, he’d been found in bed wae Michelle Hope, whose da wis wan ae the local Springburn polis and wan ae the polis team who’d kicked doon Johnboy and Silent’s front door in the early hours ae the morning roond in Heim Street. It hid also been aroond aboot that time that Senga hid heard that Johnboy hid been seeing Michelle aff and oan fur a while. When she’d asked him if he wis still seeing her, efter he’d asked her oot, he’d telt her he wisnae. Efter getting o’er the initial shock, it hid taken Senga a good few months no tae feel hurt and let doon by Johnboy’s lie. Like a typical mug, she’d still gone up and visited him, while he wis oan remand, up in Barlinnie. He’d no only denied being Michelle Hope’s steady boyfriend, bit hid sworn oan his ma’s grave that he hidnae hid any involvement in the bank robbery. Senga knew he wisnae an angel, and despite aw his faults, she’d been convinced that he wisnae the type ae person that wid shoot somewan, polis or no…ae that she’d been certain. Getting caught in bed the night before they wur supposed tae be gaun oot oan their first official date hid been a different matter aw thegither. It hid been like somewan sticking a knife through her heart. Lizzie hid been right when she pointed oot that her and Johnboy wurnae actually gaun oot thegither at the time, so why wid he no be like any other guy, and get it while he could?
“Christ, Senga, that’s whit guys ur like,” Lizzie hid lectured her, as if she wis a daft wee school lassie or something.
Efter that wan visit tae see him up in Barlinnie, she’d written tae him a few times, and hid been annoyed that she hidnae received any replies. Eventually, jist before he’d been due up at the High Court, she’d goat a short scrawl ae a letter back, informing her that even though he wis sure he wid be found not guilty, he didnae think t
hey should correspond wae each other and that he’d catch up wae her wance he goat oot. It hid been short and tae the point. No, how are ye daeing and whit ur ye up tae, Ah’m sorry fur hurting ye, furgive me fur playing wae ye o’er the years, blah, blah bloody blah. His letter wis still sitting, tormenting her, oan her bedside cabinet. She looked at the pen and the writing paper sitting oan tap ae his letter again. Oan the day he’d been found guilty and sentenced, she’d slipped in tae wan ae the patients’ television rooms up in the wards, jist as the evening news hid come oan. There, up oan the screen, hid been mug shot photos ae Johnboy and Silent, wae the announcer telling her and the rest ae the patients watching, that Johnboy Taylor hid been found guilty and hid goat sentenced tae fourteen years…the longest sentence ever haunded oot tae a teenager in Scotland. Silent hid been sentenced tae five years. She heard wan ae the patients saying that they should bring back the rope and the birch. It hid taken Senga aw her strength tae finish her shift. She’d hid tae nip intae the lavatory a few times when she’d felt the tears coming oan. When she’d arrived hame and burst intae tears, Lizzie hid held oan tae her fur aboot twenty minutes.
“Christ, ye sure know how tae pick them, Senga. Whit’s wrang wae falling in love wae a plain van driver or a plumber like the rest ae us, eh?”
Senga knew then, that the possibility ae her and Johnboy Taylor ever spending any time thegither, wis noo doon the Swanee furever. She wis supposed tae hiv been heiding up tae her ma’s efter her shift the next day, bit she’d gied that a miss. She hidnae wanted tae sit there and listen tae her ma lecturing her that ‘Ah telt ye that ye wur wasting yer time oan somewan like him. Boys like him never change their tune. Wance a thief, always a thief, that’s whit Ah say.’ Fourteen years? Christ, she hidnae a clue how long he wid hiv tae serve or whit age she’d be when he wis finally released. She knew she couldnae ignore whit everywan else knew and hid been telling her fur years. As well as feeling humiliated, hurt and stupid, she realised that she didnae really know Johnboy Taylor very well, despite hivving been part ae his social circle since they wur weans. He’d lied aboot being Michelle Hope’s regular boyfriend and noo a jury hid jist found him guilty ae shooting two polis, despite the fact that he wis actually winching a polisman’s daughter. She put the decent leg ae her ripped tights tae good use, by wiping away the tears fae her eyes. Wan ae the doctors that her and Lizzie used tae muck aboot wae in the canteen, when Lizzie wis still working up at The Royal, hid asked her oot a few times recently, bit she’d body-swerved gieing him a response, so far. When she’d telt Lizzie, Lizzie hid gone aff her heid.
“Ur ye barmy as well as bloody nuts? Christ, Ah’d gie ma left kidney tae go oot wae that wee ugly cretin, so Ah wid,” Lizzie hid shouted at her.
Senga reached o’er and picked up the pen and writing paper. She didnae want tae upset Johnboy any mair than she knew he wid be at this time in his life, bit it wis noo or never. She wid keep it short…Dear Johnboy…
“Good evening. My name is John Turney and these are the news headlines in Scotland tonight.
Two young joy-riders were killed late last night on Great Western Road in Anniesland during a high speed chase involving police vehicles from various stations across the west of the city. The youths, believed to be in their early teens, stole the high-powered BMW 2800 CS Coupe that they were driving from a car park in the city centre yesterday afternoon. Local residents, who witnessed the carnage scattered across the busy thoroughfare, claimed that police deliberately forced the stolen vehicle off the road. Inspector Jings Johnston, from Yoker Police Station, told a packed press conference that the police had had no choice, as the car had been driving at excessive speeds and was a danger to other road users and pedestrians along the route…
Police are still trying to identify the body of a man, who was found with fatal gunshot wounds in the grounds of a sawmill, close to the Southern General Hospital this morning. Staff arriving to start work at eight o’clock at the sawmill in Langlands Road found the man, thought to be in his late twenties. Police forensic scientists have spent the day making door-to-door enquiries. A local resident, who didn’t wish to be named, said she’d heard three loud bangs just before six o’clock this morning, but had assumed that it was a car back firing…
Six families who shared the same tenement close on Paisley Road West, near to Govan Cross, were rushed to the city’s Victoria Infirmary with suspected food poisoning today after all complained of acute stomach cramps and diarrhoea. Hospital staff said that they were particularly concerned for two children, aged three and four. Public Health officials said that they believed the families shared meat purchased from an unregistered source…
Police and firemen helped evacuate sixteen families in the early hours of this morning in Tylefield Street, Camlachie, after a fire broke out in a ground floor tenement flat. Three adults and two children are being kept in the city’s Royal Infirmary overnight due to smoke inhalation…
Staff at Glasgow Royal Infirmary’s casualty department unfortunately failed to save the life of a thirty-seven-year-old mother of five who was admitted with severe head injuries late last night. Police said later that a man, believed to be the women’s husband, is helping them with their enquiries in connection with a domestic disturbance…”
Chapter Six
They hidnae messed aboot wance the Paddy wagon reached the Bar-L. Johnboy and Silent hid been telt tae remain sitting where they wur, while everywan else, whose trials wur still gaun oan or hidnae started yet, wur drapped aff. The High Court sat in the first week ae every month and the untried prisoners travelled back and forth every day until everywan wis eliminated by either being found guilty and sentenced, or let oot efter a not guilty or not proven verdict. The average length ae a trial, including murder wans, wis usually two tae four days. There wur exceptions though, like Shamus and Gerry’s ‘Bomb’s in the Chapel’ trial. Efter Johnboy and Silent’s trial hid finished, Shamus and Gerry’s jury hid indeed gone aff tae come up wae a verdict. The jury hid been oot a week. They wid’ve been bored shitless, sitting anchored, doon in the dungeons ae The High Court, waiting fur the verdict tae be announced, Johnboy thought tae himsel. Travelling back and forth, spending aw day sitting in the cells, waiting fur yer trial tae be called wis soul destroying. At the start ae the month, two big paddy buses hid been commandeered tae ship everywan back and forth. Oan the bus back up tae the Bar-L, efter him and Silent hid been sentenced, Johnboy coonted nine people, other than him and Silent, oan the bus. It hid been a long month. He’d read in the papers a few weeks earlier that this sitting ae the High Court hid been the busiest in living memory. Only three trials…Johnboy’s, The Mankys and the Irish brothers…hidnae been whit the authorities still referred tae as capital wans…a throwback tae the days when murderers wur strung up. Maist ae the capital wans, like the fatal gang stabbings, hid mair than wan person charged, so that hid filled oot the numbers. Johnboy hid known some ae the guys that wur up fur stabbing some rival gang member tae death, hivving served time in an approved school or borstal wae them previously. He’d goat tae know maist ae the other guys oan murder charges through walking aroond in the exercise yard wae them in the untried C Hall or when they’d been shackled thegither travelling back and forth tae the High Court. Apart fae Shamus and Gerry, who wur first offenders and hidnae done any time before, everywan else seemed tae be seasoned hauns at supping porridge. Efter being telt that naw, he wisnae being let aff the paddy wagon, up at the Bar-L, tae take a leak, the bus did a tight, eight point turn in the inner yard before heiding oot through the gates towards Airdrie. Johnboy hidnae been in Longriggend before, although Pat and him hid come oot and picked up Snappy efter Graham Portoy, their brief, hid managed tae get him bail, when he’d been remanded fur assaulting a Springburn bizzy called Glory. Glory wis the bizzy partner ae Michelle Hope’s da, the lassie that Johnboy hid been caught in bed wae, the night he’d goat lifted fur shooting Liam Thompson, the lying basturt ae a sergeant, who’d claimed he’d clocked Johnboy let him
hiv it wae baith barrels in the bank up oan Maryhill Road. The year before, Hope and Glory hid been sauntering past Tony and Snappy, who’d been minding their ain business, loitering oan the corner ae Jonah’s Tavern oan Springburn Road, opposite the fire station. As the bizzies strode by, carrying a poke ae chips each in their erms, Snappy hid started whistling Land Ae Hope and Glory. The bizzies hid done an aboot-turn and Glory hid asked Snappy if he wis ‘taking the cunt?’ That hid been as far as Glory hid goat wae that bit ae lip. Snappy hid swiftly let fly wae a nice wee right hook that hid broken Glory’s nose there and then. The bizzies hidnae hung aboot oan account ae Tony being present. Being seasoned operators, they knew fine well tae retreat when the chips wur stacked, or in their case, scattered against them. Later oan that night, Snappy hid goat huckled oot ae his bed and efter being assaulted mob-haunded in the cells by The Stalker and company, hid been charged wae serious assault and remanded oot in Longriggend. Efter the charge hid eventually been read oot in court three or four months later, Snappy’s charge ae assault hid been found not proven. Pat McCabe, another Manky, hid gied a sworn statement saying that he’d also been staunin wae Snappy and Tony and that it wis impossible fur Snappy tae hiv punched Glory as he wid’ve seen it fae where he wis staunin. Snappy hid then instructed Graham Portoy, his brief, tae lodge a complaint ae false imprisonment, assault and a claim fur the repair costs tae get his front door, which he’d hid tae replace efter the bizzies broke it in two in their haste tae arrest him. A few weeks before, Snappy hid goat Tony’s locksmith, Harper Harris, tae fit these amazing locks oan his front door tae stoap anywan fae being able tae break in. Unfortunately fur Snappy, the door hidnae been as good a quality as the locks hid been. The locks hid still been sitting embedded in the door frame, while his good front door hid been trashed and scattered intae fifty pieces, aw o’er the stairheid landing. Aw The Mankys hid been pishing themsels laughing, especially efter Peter The Runner hid nipped up and taken photos ae the damage fur Snappy tae use fur his damages claim. According tae Snappy, there wis a right cheeky cow ae a social worker in Longriggend, who wis well-known fur throwing pens and other stuff at prisoners if she thought they wur being lippy. Snappy hid been oan tae Johnboy and Silent tae look oot fur her.