by Todd, Ian
Johnboy turned and looked across tae the wee gap at the bottom ae the cell door. He’d detected movement and the quiet sound ae footsteps ootside in the corridor, bringing him back tae the problem in haun. He held his breath and listened, wondering if it wis wan ae the screws sneaking aboot. He breathed easy. It turned oot tae be wan ae the pass-men cleaners, brushing the corridor. He swung his legs and body roond the bed so he wis facing the door as he put his socks and shoes oan. Johnboy wisnae too sure whit cell the screws hid slung Silent’s arse intae. He hoped he wis close tae haun. The Scowler looked tae be aboot six feet odd, wae a wrestler’s build tae match. Johnboy wid need tae ensure he either stood behind the basturt or made sure there wis other YOs in between them when they goat marched through tae the church. Call it intuition, bit he knew fine well that The Scowler wisnae a Catholic. He jist didnae come across as wan, somehow. Johnboy hid tried tae clock the name card oan the cell door, efter the screws pulled it shut during the porridge run, bit it wis too far away fur him tae see. The doon side wis that the cards oan the doors didnae highlight anywan’s length ae sentence, so he wisnae too sure whit his neighbour wis in fur. He felt himsel tense and the adrenalin start up, as he heard the footsteps and the jangling ae keys in the corridor as cell doors wur opened and loudly banged shut a second or so later efter the YO inside decided whether he wis gaun tae the service or no.
“Church?”
“Aye.”
“Right, staun in the corridor and keep yer trap shut,” the screw wid say as he banged the door shut loudly before moving oan tae the next wan.
He wis relieved tae hear the cell door diagonally across fae him open before his.
“Church?”
“Aye.”
“Right, line up in the corridor and don’t move until Ah say so,” the screw growled, before the rasping key in Johnboy’s door allowed it tae be yanked open.
Johnboy’s hackles wur up and he aboot bolted oot the door in tae the corridor before the screw hid time tae get his key oot ae the lock. Any fear or reservations aboot The Scowler’s intentions, hid been replaced wae resolve tae get the basturt first, before he came fur Johnboy or Silent. This could be a matter ae life and death, Johnboy kept telling himsel in silent mantra as he stood in the corridor.
“Whit’s yer hurry, Taylor? Keen tae ask fur furgiveness?” The screw sneered, before moving oan tae the next cell.
He wis sure The Scowler hid gied him another dirty look before Johnboy hid managed tae shuffle and squeeze his body in tae his place in the queue, making doubly sure that there wur enough bodies between him and The Scowler. He wis still wracking that brain ae his, trying tae remember if any ae The Mankys hid mentioned hivving a run-in wae a big basturt that matched the muscle-bound bear’s description. It wis an impossible task, so Johnboy jist hid tae go oan the basis that it wid either be him or The Scowler that wid be ending up wae a sore face, as wan ae the screws yelled at everywan tae keep the noise doon. Johnboy took the opportunity tae take in his surroundings. It wis the first time he’d been oot ae his cell since his arrival a few days earlier, apart fae tae empty his piss pot. He noted that there wur five YOs behind him, plus the screw who’d opened everywan up. He peered o’er the shoulder in front ae him and coonted another eleven heids plus a further two screws. He wis still swithering whether tae make a move oan The Scowler in the corridor, when everywan wis suddenly ordered tae move aff in single file. He’d also clocked the back ae Silent’s heid, two in front, which wis fine. It meant Silent could deal wae the screws up front, leaving jist the wan screw, as well as The Scowler himsel, tae be dealt wae at Johnboy’s end. Johnboy followed the line, as they snaked alang the corridors, mentally preparing himsel tae get tore right in at the first sign ae any threat. He didnae think there wis much point in letting something fester, he kept telling himsel. That wis how people ended up losing their beauty sleep at night, or worse, their lives. If there wis wan thing he’d learned early oan fae Tony, Joe and Paul when he wis a snapper, it wis that there wisnae any point in wandering through life, worrying aboot whit wis gonnae happen next, when the happening wis usually unfolding there in front ae ye. Furget any chit-chat or fannying aboot. If there wis a threat, real or imagined, jist get in there first, making sure the first hit coonted. Johnboy hid spent a fair bit ae time weighing up the situation, so wisnae convinced that he wis imagining things. The Scowler, whoever he wis, hid been taking an unhealthy interest in Johnboy, withoot gaun oot ae his way tae make it clear that his overtones wur friendly, so hid tae be dealt wae as quickly and as effectively by Johnboy as the circumstances allowed.
“Right, there will be nae talking in the church before, during or efter the service. This is an opportunity fur aw youse tae start repenting before it’s too late,” a big, fat, pock-mark-faced, senior screw growled, as the line ae YOs squeezed past him through the door intae the church.
Johnboy felt his brain kick and whirr in tae overdrive. He knew Silent’s wid be daeing the same, despite the lack ae visible communication being forthcoming since his talk wae the big glaikit turnkey and the Irish brothers doon in the dungeons ae the High Court. The church wis aboot fifty yards deep and aboot twenty wide, wae an aisle running doon the centre ae it. The untried boys wur awready in and seated and took up the first ten rows ae the pews at the front. The screws wordlessly motioned the convicted YOs tae sit in the middle ae the rows oan the right as they arrived through the door, leaving a big enough gap between them and the untried YOs further doon, tae keep anywan fae passing o’er any illicit contraband.
Jist before Silent turned intae his row, he doubled back and filled the gap in front ae Johnboy efter the fat senior pock-faced screw motioned The Scowler tae go and sit oan the third row oan the left haun side, away fae everywan else. That jist confirmed tae Johnboy that something wisnae right and that the basturt needed watching.
“See that big basturt sitting across there oan his lonesome, Silent?” Johnboy whispered, nodding across the aisle. “Where hiv we clocked him before? Every time ma cell door gets opened, when the grub arrives, the basturt stauns there, scowling at me, so he dis,” Johnboy said, as Silent looked across at the segregated YO. “Ah feel like diving across there and laying intae the basturt, so Ah dae.”
“Hoi, Ginger-nut? Ye’re no here tae jist sit and chat wae yer pals,” the fat SO hissed fae behind them.
“It might jist be ma imagination, bit, if Ah could jist work oot where it wis that Ah clocked that face before, Ah’d know fur certain,” Johnboy murmured, in frustration, ignoring the fat twat, as he looked aboot, taking in the lay ae the land.
Johnboy quickly glanced behind him efter the doors intae the church rattled oan their hinges as the SO slammed them shut. Three screws, including the fat senior wan, wur aw lounging aboot, unashamedly demonstrating tae anywan who wis in the least bit interested, whit a bunch ae slovenly, lazy basturts looked like, jist inside the door. There wur five empty rows ae pews in front ae the screws tae where Johnboy and Silent wur perched. Apart fae Johnboy, Silent and the baby bear, sitting oan the pews opposite them, there wur fifteen convicted Her Majesty’s Pleasure boys, who aw still hid that shell-shocked look aboot them, that Johnboy hid first noticed when he’d witnessed them arriving doon intae the dungeons in the High Court efter being sentenced tae life. Johnboy knew maist ae them fae their trips up and doon tae the High Court fae the Bar-L when they’d aw been oan remand. Three ae them, a set ae sixteen-year-auld twins and their seventeen-year-auld brother hid goat sentenced tae HMP, alang wae two ae their other mates, who’d goat sentenced tae life. Only wan ae them hid done the actual stabbing that hid killed a member ae a rival gang across in Kinning Park. It didnae make any sense tae Johnboy. Wan solitary, fatal stabbing wound and five ae them ended up being sent doon fur the next ten years. Whit wis aw that aboot, he wondered, looking across tae the pews across fae them. The Scowler wis sitting wae his eyes shut as if he wis taking a nap, or maybe he wis praying. Why the special treatment? If he wis a stoat-the-baw, in jail fur hump
ing some wean or shagging a ninety-year-auld granny, separating him fae everywan wid be standard practice. Johnboy hid been in and oot ae the nick often enough tae know that the YO sitting oan his lonesome wisnae a sex offender. He wis jist too cocky and sure ae himsel. Whit there wisnae any doubt ae, as far as Johnboy could tell, wis that he wis trouble wae a capital D fur Dangerous. Johnboy knew fine well that he’d hiv tae get in there quick before himsel or Silent copped their whack first. Wance again, he looked aroond where they wur sitting, searching fur any advantageous opportunities. There wisnae an obvious weapon within reach. He knew the church served as a chapel fur the Catholic boys oan account ae the eighteen-inch brass crucifix sitting oan the middle ae the alter doon at the front. It wid’ve made a good club, he thought tae himsel. He imagined it in his haun, skelping fuck oot ae Bawheid across the aisle, while Silent protected that back ae his, keeping the screws at bay, as the damage wis being inflicted. He knew the crucifix wid be bolted doon and anyway, by the time he’d galloped aw the way doon and tried tae wrench JC aff ae that perch ae his, the screws and the victim wid be oan tae him. He allowed his eyes tae wander away fae the crucifix. He took in the presence ae the screw oan either side ae the alter and another two, hauf wae up, leaning against the wall oan the insides ae the two seating areas. He glanced across at The Scowler again before shifting his focus towards the minister who’d jist arrived through a side door, doon at the front. Johnboy wis conscious that The Scowler hid suddenly turned his heid roond tae hiv a quick swatch across at him and Silent. Johnboy still wisnae convinced that The Scowler hid sussed oot that him and Silent wur oan tae him, so he sat passively, looking at whit wis gaun oan doon at the pulpit. When Johnboy wis aboot ten-years-auld, Tony Gucci, his best pal, hid pulled him up short in front ae their other two pals, Paul McBride and Joe McManus, fur staring at somewan they wur aboot tae attack.
“Johnboy, whit the fuck ur ye daeing, ya daft eejit?” Tony hid demanded tae know.
“Whit?”
“Never ever gie the game away by trying tae stare doon who ye’re aboot tae knock fuck oot ae. Ye’re no in the pictures watching a Hopalong Cassidy film noo. Let them find oot whit’s aboot tae happen wance they’re oan the deck and no before.”
Tony hid been right. If ye wanted tae get in there first and take advantage, why advertise the fact beforehaun?
“Good morning, boys. If you pick up your hymn books, we’ll start this morning’s service with hymn number six hundred and twenty,” the Minister opened wae, in that well-practiced, seasoned, droning voice ae his.
Johnboy wondered if getting the drone right wis aw part ae the training, as everywan shuffled tae their feet, and the organist plonked they fingers ae wan ae his hauns oan tae the wrang keys, sending a Hammer Hoose ae Horror tremor wailing through the church, tae the sniggers ae some ae the boys tae Johnboy’s right.
Other than the good reverend’s, there wur only a few voices tae be heard, mumbling oot ae tune, something aboot ploughing fields and scattering their good seed oan the land. Johnboy took advantage ae the charade being played oot in front ae them and gied The Scowler another wee wance-o’er. He could see his lips moving, bit wisnae sure whether it wis in an attempt at singing or if he wis jist working himsel up tae spin roond before launching himsel at him and Silent. When Johnboy hid first started running aboot wae whit wid later become ‘The Mankys’ as a ten-year-auld snapper, it hid taken him a wee while tae figure oot who it wis that Tony, Joe and Paul hid meant, when they kept telling him that ‘they’ wur oot tae get them. The expression hid become some sort ae manky mantra doon the years that basically allowed them tae dae whit the hell they wanted, when they wanted, because if The Mankys didnae get in there first, then it wid be too late and ‘they,’ whoever they wur, wid get them. It hid aw been terribly confusing at the time. Despite pleading fur examples oan who ‘they’ wur, they’d jist shrug their shoulders and smirked at his obvious, blatant stupidity.
“Fuck’s sakes, Johnboy, if ye hiv tae ask, then maybe ye should be running aboot wae boy scouts,” Joe hid chided him when he wis aboot twelve. “Ye either know or ye don’t”
“Well, gie me a fucking hint then?” he remembered whining o’er the sounds ae their guffaws.
As he’d goat aulder, and still couldnae fathom oot who the hell ‘they’ wur, he’d jist put it doon tae paranoia oan their part. He’d persuaded a psychologist wance, jist before he’d been released fae approved school, tae explain tae him whit being paranoid wis. The psychologist hid gone roond the block three times, trying tae figure oot why Johnboy wanted tae know, bit hid eventually telt him that somewan who wis paranoid hid an excessive fear or suspicion aboot other people. At the time, it hid seemed tae explain where the others wur coming fae, bit efter chewing o’er whit the psychologist hid telt him, Johnboy hid eventually dismissed that theory. If somewan wis tae staun back and look at the make up ae The Mankys, including Johnboy himsel, they’d soon realise that paranoia didnae figure too highly. Aye, they could be as suspicious as anywan else, bit they didnae, and neither did Johnboy, go aboot being suspicious ae everywan they came in contact wae. If they felt somewan hid ripped them aff, then they’d act oan their suspicions, bit in general terms, everything they did wis based oan trust. The reason that Tony, Snappy and Pat wur in the jail, daeing time, wis because ae that misplaced trust in somewan they should’ve stayed well clear ae in the first place. And as tae hivving an excessive fear ae people, the problem fur The Mankys wis the opposite. Oot ae them aw, it wis probably Johnboy who wid’ve been the wan tae be cautious and want tae haud back, based oan being a bit wary ae whit the consequences could be when getting up tae no good. Through the years he’d come across real paranoid people who’d jist been left tae get oan wae it or hid disappeared in tae a loony bin. Looking across and observing The Scowler’s mannerisms…the way he held his body, the way he sat…comfortable, bit tense…spoke volumes and said tae Johnboy that paranoia, real or imagined, hid absolutely fuck-aw tae dae wae the danger and threat that Johnboy wis feeling. The Scowler wis showing oot tae Johnboy, withoot being upfront aboot it and because ae that, Johnboy wisnae gonnae be hinging aboot tae find oot whit the hell it wis aw aboot.
“So, whit hiv ye been up tae, Silent?” Johnboy whispered oot ae the side ae his gub.
Silence
“Whit hiv ye been daeing wae yersel aw day, eh?”
“Choking the life oot ae that auld Bishop ae mine and sleeping like a mangy auld cat,” Silent replied wae a smirk.
“Is that it? Pulling yer plonker four times a day?”
“And another couple before the lights go oot at night. Ah’d love tae see the face oan the poor basturt that his tae wash ma sheets, so Ah wid,” Silent sniggered, a big grin appearing across his coupon.
“You’re fucking sick, so ye ur. Whit else ur ye up tae then?”
“Ah keep minding tae read that wee red book, the Gideon’s bible, bit fur some reason, ma erm feels too heavy tae lift it up,” Silent said, his voice trailing aff intae silence.
Johnboy wisnae too sure if that wis that, and Silent wis away back tae where he usually ended up fur weeks or even months at a time.
“That turnkey wan wis talking oot ae a hole in his arse, so he wis,” Silent suddenly said, oot ae the blue, breaking intae Johnboy’s thoughts.
“Eh? Turnkey? Whit turnkey?”
“That big glaikit wan doon at the High Court. Whit wis his name?”
“Big Byron, the wan that ye became best buddies wae. Christ, Ah thought ye wur gonnae ask him fur his name and address so ye could become his pen pal,” Johnboy scoffed, dismissively. “Whit aboot him?”
“Aw that crap he wis spouting aboot that spree killer wan wae the cravat who’d went and goat himsel hung.”
“Silent, Ah’m sorry, ye’ve totally lost me here. Whit the fuck ur ye oan aboot?” Johnboy whispered, turning and looking at his co-accused fur the first time since they’d been let oot ae their cells, as everywan plapped their arses back doon oan tae the hard, shiny pew
s.
“This is bloody painful, so it is. Ye don’t think they’d take me back tae ma cell if Ah asked the screws nicely, dae ye? Ah’ve gied up a good toss fur this,” Silent quipped drily, as Johnboy smiled.
It never ceased tae amaze Johnboy. He’d known Silent since they wur wee snappers. He never wis wan fur saying much…hence his name. He could go fur weeks, even months, withoot uttering a single word, and then aw ae a sudden, he’d come oot wae something totally aff the wall. Johnboy wis never quite sure if his quietness wis tae dae wae some sort ae mental-ness, or if he jist preferred tae keep quiet maist ae the time. Johnboy and the rest ae The Mankys hid gied up trying tae draw Silent oot ae whitever shell he wis in at any particular moment and time, long ago. No matter whit they said or did tae encourage him tae speak or gie an opinion aboot something, nothing seemed tae work when he wis away in Silent’s World, as Snappy referred tae it. The main thing wis no tae try and manipulate the conversation wance Silent did open up. Dae that, and he’d retreat and disappear back tae where he wis before he opened up. The trick wis knowing how tae get yer point ae view across or tae get yer answer oot ae him, in amongst whit it wis he wis bringing up at the time. It wis hard tae explain tae anywan ootside The Mankys’ circle, and even then, maist ae them wurnae aware ae it. It didnae help that The Mankys didnae hiv Johnboy’s patience, although Paul McBride, noo living up in the highlands, hid been pretty good. Efter ignoring the pontificating fae doon at the front aboot turning the other cheek, the YOs wur back up oan their feet in nae time fur another marathon sing-a-long session. This time it wis three hunner and eighty seven.