“Did we wake you?” Jessie asked worriedly.
Her silken hair flowed down around her shoulders like an angel’s and her eyes were soft with sleep. She looked mighty inviting to a cold, uncomfortable cowboy.
“No. I’m just keeping watch.” He leaned over to the lantern and lit the wick.
“Sarah’s wet her blanket. I need to find her some dry clothes.” Jessie reached over and rubbed Sarah’s back. Sarah, hiding her face in Jessie’s pillow, seemed to be taking it hard that she’d made a mess.
“Not surprising, with this cold,” Chase said, trying to make her feel better. It was freezing out, but Jessie looked warm as a muffin straight from the oven. And he’d bet a month’s pay she was just as tasty.
As she sat up, her blanket fell from her shoulders, revealing a thick woolen nightgown. Jessie seemed completely un- aware of the vision she made, being wrapped up in the need to help Sarah.
Kneeling, Chase reached over the sleeping body of Jake and grabbed the duffel bag containing Sarah’s clothes. Extending his arm, he handed it to Jessie.
“Thank you.” Jessie rummaged through the bag, pulling out a warm pair of long johns. They looked larger than Sarah’s size but would certainly keep the child warm through the night. “Mrs. Hollyhock must’ve stuck these in, bless her heart. Come here, Sarah, and let’s put these on.”
Sarah stayed where she was, shaking her head.
With a look at Chase, Jessie pulled gently on Sarah’s arm. “Come on, honey, don’t be shy.”
She didn’t budge.
Chase shrugged.
Jessie said, “Turn your head, Chase. It’s you she’s worried about.”
Chase dutifully turned as Jessie changed Sarah’s clothes.
“There, we’re all done. You can turn back around.” Jessie kissed Sarah good night for the second time that evening.
Long minutes passed, but Chase didn’t want to blow out the lantern just yet. “She asleep?”
“I think so.”
“Neither of you will get much rest sharing that blanket. She’s been restless all night. Why don’t you crawl on over here?” Chase opened his blanket in invitation.
Chase’s voice rumbled low, spreading like honey through Jessie’s veins. The lamp cast its golden glow on Chase, illuminating the angles of his face, sending Jessie’s heart skittering.
Jessie hesitated. He’d been so distant the last few days. Why did he want her close now?
“It’s all right,” he encouraged. “We can warm each other up.”
Like a bee to nectar, Jessie couldn’t resist. As she carefully picked her way over to him, he leaned over and blew out the lantern. At once they were cast into darkness.
“Here I am,” he said softly. “Crawl on in.”
She slid into his arms, and he wrapped his big coat around her. His body was hard next to hers. And warm. Very warm. Her heart beat so fast, she feared she’d faint.
“Mmm, you’re warm,” he whispered, cuddling her closer. His face was close to hers. So close that his cheek gently nudged hers, his whiskers tickling. “Comfortable?” he asked, as he pulled her in even tighter, forcing her to wrap her arms around his body.
“Yes,” she barely got out. She was awash in feelings. Breathless. She rubbed her cheek against his. To her surprise, she could feel the beat of his heart against her breast. She turned her face into the crook of his neck.
His mouth sought hers. He kissed her lips gently, then moved to her neck and ear. All coherent thought fled. Her world was spinning, careening faster and faster. She wished he would never stop. His lips against hers was all she could think about. Chase. And how he made her feel.
Chase eased down to the bed of the wagon, taking Jessie with him. He rolled her to her back, cradling her in his arms, careful not to hurt her.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked huskily, regretting the words as he spoke them. He’d kick himself if she said yes.
Shaking her head, Jessie drew back just far enough to mouth the word no.
Moving close, he concentrated on Jessie’s lips, as his thumbs traced her eyes, her face. Her sighs were music to his ears as he fought to keep the moment light. His need for her was strong, but the fact that the boys and Sarah slept only inches away kept him grounded.
“Chase?” Jessie breathed heavily.
“Shhh, don’t talk.” He was afraid she’d start asking questions. Questions he wouldn’t be able to answer.
There was movement from the far side of the wagon. Both Jessie and Chase froze.
“Chase, you awake?” Jake called quietly.
“Yeah,” he answered, pulling Jessie protectively closer, acutely aware of her presence. He was sure Jake couldn’t see her curled in his bedroll.
“What time is it?”
“Hard to tell without the stars. Somewhere around two, I’d guess.”
“Okay, it’s my watch. Don’t worry about anything, I’ve got sharp hearing. Get some shut-eye.”
“Good night.” He placed his lips next to Jessie’s ear, gently kissing as he whispered, “Good night, sweetheart.”
Chapter Thirty-nine
Jessie was hopeful. She reminded herself over and over not to read anything into Chase’s new demeanor. He seemed very different these past three days. Happier. Maybe it was because they’d made such good time after that storm. They’d been lucky the storm hadn’t slowed them down too much.
Jessie was again overwhelmed with yearnings for Chase. First he’d been forced into a marriage he never wanted. Then he’d spent so much time and money on her and the young’uns, making sure they had all the things they needed to keep them warm. When they reached their destination, she’d have to be brave and remember that he’d probably sacrifice his freedom to stay with her if she asked. He was so honorable. She had to make it easy for him to ride on, if that was what he wanted.
The wheels of the wagon crunched along the well-worn path. The snow that covered the road had melted and refrozen, creating a fine crystal base—beautiful but dangerous. The sun, which hadn’t made an appearance for several days, now shone brightly, its rays shimmering off the thick snow.
“I can hardly believe we’re almost there,” Jessie exclaimed to Gabe, who sat silently beside her, driving the wagon. The boy nodded, causing a thick lock of his chestnut hair to fall in his eyes. The golden sunlight kissed it, reminding Jessie of a beautifully polished piece of expensive furniture. She’d give him a trim when they got settled in. Chase and Jake needed one, too.
Today.
Today they should reach Logan.
Every time she thought about it, her stomach tied up tight. What was Chase planning? What was he thinking every time she caught him watching her with his dark, contemplative eyes? He’d never said, but she felt it had something to do with Molly. Did she still live in his heart?
If he hadn’t changed his mind and was still planning on leaving, she wanted as many memories with him as she could get. He was her husband, she reminded herself. And she knew she’d never love anyone after Chase. Would it be so wrong to be with him before he was gone? They were husband and wife.
When had she realized that she loved him? It seemed as if she’d always known deep down. She just hadn’t known what love felt like.
“Today should be the day,” Gabe answered back. He’d been deep in thought and seemed somewhat melancholy.
“Something bothering you?”
Gabe sat there, elbows braced on his knees, not paying much attention to the horses. After so many days on the trail, they practically drove themselves.
“It’s nothin’.” Jessie followed his troubled gaze. It fell on Chase riding one hundred feet in front.
“It’s Chase?” She kept up in motherly fashion. She was not that many years older than Gabe, but she felt a maternal protectiveness for him.
“I just don’t understand him. Or you, either. Something ain’t right, and you’re not saying what it is.” Gabe turned and pinned her with his gaze. “We are going to
where Chase has a ranch, ain’t we?”
“Yes, we are.”
“Then what’s the big secret? Why haven’t you two been making plans and such?” Gabe turned his gaze back to the trail. He slowly shook his head. “I remember when my family was coming out from Virginia. Every night was full of talk. What we’d do when we arrived. What crop we’d plant first. Who had to milk the cow.”
Jessie was speechless. She hadn’t realized she and Chase were giving out such disconcerting signs. Her heart ached.
“You’re nice enough to each other,” Gabe continued, “but that’s as far as it goes. Almost as if that’s all you have planned. Gettin’ to Logan.”
What should she tell him? She didn’t even know herself.
“Quit treating me like a baby, Jessie. I’m old enough to know, so tell me what’s going on.” His voice had changed from sad to irritated.
“You’re right,” she finally said. “Things are different with Chase and me. He’s planning to set us up in the homestead he has—that was the truth—but then he’s planning on leaving.”
“Forever?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” Gabe choked out. “He can’t go. You’re married.” Gabe looked at her as if that’s what he’d been thinking all along.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Jessie said. “He’s doing his best for us. We can’t expect him to change his whole life just because a friend dies and leaves behind a wife. My goodness, Gabe, think of all he’s done already.”
“Yeah.” His voice was hoarse as he answered. He didn’t look at her again.
“I’ll be grateful to him forever,” Jessie said, laying her hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “And you should be, too. He’s done far more for us than anyone else would even have considered.”
Chase waved his arm, and Jake rode up to where he waited. “Town’s just about a half mile away.” Chase was excited and nervous all at the same time. “Ride on back and tell Jessie.”
Chase watched Jake lope back to the wagon. So much had changed in the last few days.
What was he supposed to do now? His head said leave quick while he still had the chance, but his heart whispered take hold of the happiness he’d found in Nathan’s misfortune and never let go.
Indecision gnawed at his belly. Could he be what Jessie needed? Take care of her and grow old together? Could he spend his life growing roots in the same place, day after day?
He knew what he wanted, what he yearned for. But the fear of letting Jessie and Sarah down kept him in doubt. He pulled off his hat and ran his gloved hand through his hair. He’d better get to thinking; time had just about run out.
Chase waited for the wagon to catch up, and then they all rode into town together. Amazingly enough, the town of Logan looked just the same as when he’d left, three years before.
As they passed the Bright Nugget Dance Hall, a young woman dressed in red stepped out of the swinging café doors and waved. Chase thought she looked vaguely familiar, so he waved back. He didn’t want to appear unfriendly.
Chase was relieved to see Jessie was looking at the El Dorado Hotel across the street and hadn’t noticed the girl. The hotel was a fine establishment with a good restaurant inside. Maybe he’d treat them all to a supper out soon. Certainly, they had earned it.
“Oh, look, Chase,” Jessie called, pointing across the street. A small building nestled among several larger ones gleamed with a new coat of white paint. “It’s a bakery! I can smell the fritters right now.”
Chase smiled. He was enjoying watching Jessie’s reaction to the town. He could feel her excitement.
“Pull the wagon up here, Gabe, in front of the appraiser’s office. The bank’s right next door.” Chase dismounted and tied Cody to the hitching post. “I’ll be right back.”
Chase entered the dim interior of the bank and let his eyes adjust. He was nervous. After glancing about and not finding Frank, he approached the teller window and rang the silver bell.
“May I help you?” a young dandy asked. He set aside the ledger he’d been working on and looked at Chase expectantly. His little bow tie was tilted to the left and made Chase grin.
“Frank Lloyd in?”
“No, but he’ll be back directly. Just stepped out for a moment.” The teller cleared his throat. “Is there something I can help you with?”
“No,” Chase answered abruptly, his nerves getting the best of him.
“Who should I say is here to see him?”
“Chase Logan.”
Chapter Forty
“Fine, fine, Mr. Logan. You can wait in Mr. Lloyd’s office.” The excited teller escorted Chase into Frank’s office, and he took the proffered seat next to the plate-glass window. If Frank didn’t show up soon, he’d wait out at the wagon with everyone else.
Drumming his fingers atop the highly polished desk, he studied the neatly arranged articles. He’d really wanted a word in private with Frank before he introduced Jessie and the kids.
Footsteps rang out across the worn wooden planks. Frank always walked like he had an urgent task to complete. Chase heard the teller informing him of his visitor. Within moments Frank burst through the door.
“Chase, my boy! It’s wonderful to see you.” He grabbed Chase in a bear hug and pounded him on the back. “I was just starting to get worried.” He gave Chase a wink. “That must be your darling wife out in the wagon. I spotted her from down the street.” Frank leaned back so he could get a good look into Chase’s face. He must have liked what he saw, because he grinned, the proudest smile Chase could remember.
“You look good, my boy. I see that marriage agrees with you.”
“It’s good to see you, Frank.”
“Is that all you have to say?” Frank asked, again peering out the window at the wagon. “You ride in here after all these years, with a wife and a little girl, and all you can say is ‘It’s good to see you.’”
“It’s not quite what you think. I need to explain a few details,” Chase admitted casually. He hated putting a damper on the man’s happiness.
“That can wait.” Frank waved him off. “First I want to meet your wife. What’s her name?”
“Jessie.”
“Fine. Let’s go meet Jessie and the rest of your family, and then we can catch up with all the news. I’ve so much to tell you. I don’t really know where to begin.”
Chase could hardly keep up with the man as he practically ran to the wagon. “This is Jessie,” Chase said as he lifted her down from the wagon. “Jessie, this is Frank Lloyd, the friend I’ve been telling you about.
Jessie smiled. “Pleased to meet you, Mr. Lloyd.”
“Believe me, Mrs. Logan, the pleasure is all mine. I’m just so happy Chase has finally found a sweet little lady to tame his wild ways.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, to marry up with him.” He turned his eyes to Sarah, who waited patiently on the wagon seat. “And this is…?”
“Sarah.” Chase finished for him. Chase lifted the girl down. Frank reached for the child, but she clung to Chase’s neck with ferocity.
“She’s shy.” The emptiness inside his chest was filled with the wonderful feel of her sweetness.
Frank nodded his approval.
“That there on the gray is Jake, and this here hombre is Gabe.”
“Pleased to meet you, boys. How was your trip?”
“Fine, sir,” Gabe answered. Jake just nodded.
“Well, you’re finally here,” Frank said, pleasure radiating from his face. “I’ve just about worn myself out since I got your telegram. I hope I fixed up the place to your liking.” He looked expectantly at Jessie.
“I’m sure you did a fine job.” Jessie gave Frank a brilliant smile. “Could I take Sarah over to the bakery?” she asked. “She’s never had very many sweets, and I’m sure she would just love one.”
“Never had a doughnut!” Frank burst out. “Why that’s a sin. Follow me. It’s my treat.”
They all crammed into the tiny white building together.
It was well kept and clean inside, with two little tables sitting in the corner. The sweetness of the air tickled their noses, and the smell of frying batter made Jake’s stomach rumble loudly. They all laughed.
“You ever had a doughnut, Jake?” Frank asked.
“Yes, sir, a couple of times. Mrs. Hollyhock would make ’em up special every now and again. I love ’em.”
“I bet you do. They’re my favorite, too.” Looking across the counter, Frank smiled at the plump woman frying a new batch of the sweetened dough. Her hair was piled on the top of her head, and she had a smear of flour across one cheek. “Lettie, this is a celebration. We’ll have three dozen of your finest.”
The woman smiled at his teasing. “Mr. Lloyd, you know I only have one kind. Would you like them frosted?”
Frank looked around at the expectant faces. “Absolutely.”
Chase watched the group devour the doughnuts. They were mighty good after the harrowing trip they’d just completed.
Frank was watching Jessie intently. He was going to be madder than a wet rooster when Chase told him the truth. He’d tried to tell him in his office, but Frank hadn’t wanted to listen then.
“What are your plans, Chase? Are you riding out tonight or staying in town?” Frank asked.
“I think everyone would like to get this move over with. We’ll be heading out after we pick up some supplies at the mercantile.”
“No need. I’ve taken care of everything. Hopefully you’re stocked for a good long time.”
“I can’t thank you enough, Frank,” Chase said sincerely. He glanced over at Jessie as she brushed some frosting from Sarah’s mouth.
“You’ve thanked me already by just coming home. It’s been far too long.”
Jessie watched the exchange as the two men talked. Mr. Lloyd seemed very fond of Chase, drinking in the very sight of him. She could tell Chase was delighted to be home but for some reason seemed to be holding back.
Mr. Lloyd turned, and Jessie was embarrassed to be caught staring.
Where The Wind Blows Page 21