by Joanne Rock
“Um. Anytime after lunch.” Maybe by then she’d have slept off the sedative and today’s scary moods. She wanted to be able to focus on Ethan.
Maybe even snag that kiss.
“See you then.” He lingered for a second and she licked her lips.
Just in case.
“Yup, see you then.” She didn’t make any move to head inside, either.
A breeze stirred the scent of moonflowers twining down a nearby column. Stars filled the sky above the horizon. For a moment, she breathed in the scent of cinnamon gum as Ethan leaned closer.
“Night, Ally,” he said softly before he turned and stalked off into the night.
She leaned onto the rail with her elbows for a second until pain splintered through her sore arms. Straightening, she watched Ethan get into his truck and reverse out of the driveway. It should have been the happiest night of her life. Ethan had come over to ask her to go somewhere with him. He’d touched her.
Except that she hadn’t told him about the crushing weight on her chest that made her feel like the world was folding in on itself some days. She hadn’t mentioned that seeing him laughing with a classmate had sent her into the ER. It was the wrong way to start a relationship. Because this was Ethan, her crush.
Somehow, she’d find a way to make it work. By the time they left town together, they would be a couple and they would be old enough to be on their own. Ally couldn’t wait to start a new life far away from Heartache.
* * *
“SO I CAN put you down to make some sandwiches?” Nina’s finger hovered over the touchscreen keyboard on her digital tablet. She’d visited the Owl’s Roost diner on the outskirts of Heartache in the hope that she could get help with the Harvest Fest food. “That turkey, Swiss and pear combo sounds great.”
Rodney Baker had been running the Roost since she was a kid. He stared at her now as they sat in his office behind the kitchen. Just outside the door, the scent of bacon and sausage hung in the air while the cook shouted for waitstaff to pick up their orders. Beyond the kitchen, Gram sat in a corner booth visiting with Mrs. Baker, who was an old classmate of Gram’s.
Rodney turned to consult a calendar on the wall.
“The festival is coming up soon,” he observed, scrubbing a hand over the bristly gray whiskers along his jaw.
“I only just came on board to help with the food service, but I’m sure we can pull it off.” Especially if he said yes to the sandwiches. She had vendors who’d signed on to provide country ham, smoked catfish, barbecue ribs and a few other specialties, but Owl’s Roost had sandwiches that would help round out the offerings for festival-goers. “If you choose to have your own booth, you can provide whatever menu items you want to feature, of course. Then we’ll fill in with whatever foods we still need through the kitchen on-site. We’ll make some seasonal fare, too.”
She’d already researched pumpkin and apple recipes and planned to visit with local farmers about providing fresh produce.
“How about a Heartache cupcake?” Rodney teased, tapping the edge of her tablet. “You should make a note in there about that.”
She hadn’t realized her cupcake bakery was so well-known in Heartache. She shouldn’t be surprised; news traveled fast in a small town.
“I’m not sure if people would want a cupcake called Heartache.” Although it wasn’t a bad idea. It could be fun for the festival.
“Why not?” He straightened and shrugged his wiry shoulders. “It’s not like you’re calling it the ‘heartburn cupcake.’”
He chuckled and teased her some more, but in the end agreed to supply three kinds of sandwiches at his booth during the festival. Nina made some notes with his contact information and stood to leave when a waitress burst through the open door to Rodney’s office.
“Ms. Spencer, your grandmother fell—”
Nina didn’t wait to hear the rest. She sprinted through the kitchen, darting past a busboy with a tray of dirty glasses.
“Gram!” she called, shoving through swinging double doors that led into the restaurant.
“I’m fine,” her grandmother’s voice came from behind a wall of concerned diner patrons and waitstaff who crowded around a booth. “Just took a little spill, is all.”
“Excuse me.” Nina edged by a young woman to see for herself. “What happened?” She circled Gram’s shoulders with one arm, searching her face to see if the older woman was in pain and trying to hide it.
Gram was pale as she rubbed her good knee. “I wanted to grab a dessert menu from the next table over—”
“Oh, Gram—” Nina began.
“We can bring you one,” Rodney Baker said at the same time.
“I know.” Gram shook her head. “I just put a little too much weight on the wrong foot and then I twisted my good knee—” She stopped, blinking fast, the expression on her face uncharacteristically defeated. “Sometimes I forget that I shouldn’t do those things. Inside, I still feel eighteen.”
“Me, too, Daisy,” Rodney assured her, giving her arm a gentle squeeze. “But you look a lot closer to eighteen than me.” He made an exaggerated frown that made his wrinkles more pronounced. “Aren’t you glad you’re not all craggy-faced like this?”
The two of them laughed while a couple of the younger men offered to help Gram out to Nina’s truck. Nina carried her walker while Gram protested all the help, but she could see her grandmother leaned heavily on the extra arms.
Half the diner ended up in the parking lot. The couple from the table beside Gram’s carried her purse and a doggy bag for Taz the cat. A waitress carried a makeshift bag of ice and ran ahead to open the truck door. Rodney and Mrs. Baker wanted to be sure their friend got to the truck safely. Then, there were the well-wishers who just wanted to tell Gram to get better before the Harvest Fest.
As she watched them all settle Gram in her truck, Nina felt touched. She’d met many wonderful friends in New York. But there was something special about a hometown, where your classmate owned the business down the street and you had history with everyone. Good and bad, the people around her had shared a lot with each other. Climbing into the driver’s seat behind her grandmother, she was more than a little grateful.
“Give me a shout if you need anything,” Rodney Baker told Nina as he waved. “Take care of our girl.”
“Thank you. I will,” she called through the window.
And she would.
Glancing over at her grandmother in the passenger seat, Nina knew now she needed to be more of a consistent presence in her grandmother’s life. Heartache was her home. Her grandmother was her family. So if spending more time here would help Gram, Nina would find a way to make that happen. And after seeing the way the town turned out to give her a hand just now, maybe Heartache wouldn’t be so bad.
If she could really put the past to rest with Mack like he’d suggested, if they could have the same kind of friendship they’d had once, Nina could learn to like it here just fine. She pulled out her phone.
* * *
THE NEXT NIGHT, Nina sat in the bleachers of her old high school and watched the Crestwood band and color guard practice. She’d asked Mack to meet her here, hoping sitting on these bleachers where so much of her life had started to unravel they could put some of the bad memories behind them. It had never occurred to her that band and guard would be practicing under the lights at seven o’clock on a Monday evening.
With the color guard’s purple-and-white flags twirling and the sound system blaring a recording of the band’s music, it wasn’t exactly an evening of quiet reflection.
A movement on the steps nearby pulled her attention from the high-stepping twirlers. Mack climbed the steps toward the top of the bleachers, a white foam cup in each hand. He wore a dark down vest over a lightweight sweater, the collar of a crisp white shirt just visible enough underne
ath to contrast with his tanned face and the hint of five o’clock shadow along his jaw.
Would she ever look at him and not be tripped up by old memories and desire?
“Thanks for coming.” She tucked her arms tighter around herself and slid down on the cold metal bench, the scent of autumn in the air. “I didn’t realize there would be a practice tonight.”
He passed her a foam cup.
“I don’t mind. The band sounds good.” Taking a seat beside her, he leaned back on the high fence behind the bleachers. “I don’t know if the spiced cider is still hot, but I thought you might want to try it. A local family opened a farm stand just off the highway a few years ago, and they agreed to provide some cider for the Harvest Fest this year.”
Nina breathed in the spicy scent still steaming from the cup and leaned back on the fence a hand’s span away from Mack. She wore a short trench coat that ended mid-thigh, but she’d also brought a throw blanket from the pickup truck. She tucked it around her thighs now to keep herself from brushing against Mack. She told herself it was just because she was cold that she wanted to lean into him.
“The cider smells amazing. Thank you.” She took her time sipping it, not sure how to delve into the things she needed to say to Mack tonight.
“I saw Ally at the farm stand while I was there. She was buying a ticket to walk through the corn maze with Ethan Brady.”
“The day after she was rushed to the hospital? How is she feeling?” Nina tracked the progress of one line of flag twirlers, amazed at how smoothly they worked in unison. In comparison, she had always moved through life just a little out of step. “I’ll bet it wasn’t easy for her to talk Bethany into letting her out of the house.”
Mack shrugged. “I didn’t say much to Ally because she was giving me the sign to keep quiet, so I just took the cider and got out of there.”
“I hope Ethan Brady is good to her.” Nina remembered seeing him with another girl on Friday night. “She deserves some happiness after what she’s going through with her parents.”
“Scott and Bethany will work things out.” Mack’s chin jutted as if daring her to argue.
“I hope so.” Nina had no intention of getting involved in that particular mess. She had enough to wade through on her own now that she’d decided to stay in Heartache for her grandmother.
“Really?” There was an edge in Mack’s voice. “Because Scott told me you suggested that Bethany start a business of her own.”
Nina’s defenses went up. “Is that a problem?”
“They’re fighting for their marriage, Nina. Why encourage her to do things that take her away from her husband?”
“Because she’s miserable running the store when she sees it as his dream, not hers. And until she finds her own happiness, she’s not going to figure out how to heal the marriage.” Damn it, she didn’t want to argue about this. She hadn’t given that much thought to her conversation with Bethany given all the drama that came afterward. She’d only mentioned the business idea in passing.
Why couldn’t they just watch the twirling batons and drink cider under the stars?
“I came to town to do whatever I could to help Scott save his marriage. I would appreciate it if you didn’t work against me.” His jaw flexed with restrained emotions.
“I didn’t realize you already had an agenda worked out for their marriage.” She couldn’t help the sarcasm that leaked into her words. She’d never been as good at restraint as Mack. “But if you want to fill me in on what that agenda is, I can certainly be a mouthpiece for the Finley family propaganda.”
She tightened the blanket around her lap.
“I didn’t come here to argue with you.” Mack tapped her cup. “You should drink your cider before it gets cold.”
“I didn’t invite you here to argue with you, either.” Her words still sounded testy, but she was grateful to set aside the argument for now.
She had the feeling they weren’t really arguing about Scott and Bethany anyhow. Was it any surprise she was lobbying for Bethany to express her individuality and Mack thought the couple should focus on family at all costs? The argument sounded way too familiar. Only the names had changed.
For now, however, she inhaled the steam rising off the cider before taking a drink.
“This tastes so good.” She savored the mulling spices, trying to identify them all. “I’ll have to find a cupcake flavor to go with it.”
The breeze picked up and a gust blew under her blanket, sending a corner flapping over onto Mack.
“Whoa.” Catching it, he reached across her to tuck it back into place. Or at least, that’s what he started to do. His hand stilled before he touched her, the moment suspended.
It was hard to believe they’d been arguing a minute ago when just being close to him still had the power to turn her inside out.
Hand hovering just above her leg, he was close enough to kiss. His shoulders blocked the wind and her view of the field. Her heartbeat sped up. And she waited. She could practically taste his lips on hers, the memory of that kiss on the swings still vivid in her mind. She’d gone to sleep thinking about it every night since.
“I’d better let you fix it.” Mack let the blanket drop before he leaned away. “Too tempting.”
She fumbled with the blanket and re-tucked it just as the band leader turned off the PA system. Practice seemed to be ending for both groups, some of the kids walking toward the locker rooms and some toward the parking lot and waiting parents.
Down on the grass, a few girls squealed and laughed. Some horns honked.
“Nina, the suspense is eating me alive.” He set aside his cup. Then took hers from her hands and set it aside, too. “You wanted me to meet you here, of all places. You must have had a reason when it has to be as tough for you as it is for me.”
The bleachers were full of memories for them.
“I’m trying to make peace. I hadn’t been back here since that night.” She couldn’t move to Heartache permanently if she couldn’t drive past the school without memories of their graduation week, her fight with Vince and the accident. “I really thought I had my head on straight by the time I finished college, but it’s different being back here. And then, when you told me about Jenny’s miscarriage—”
“I shouldn’t have said anything.” He leaned back again. Distancing himself.
“Truly? Because I’ve been wishing you’d told me eight years ago. I know you were sworn to secrecy, but maybe it would have hurt less if I’d understood how much she needed you.”
“But I didn’t fall for Jen because she needed me, if that’s what you’re thinking. The last thing I wanted to do was hit on the mother of my dead friend’s kid.” He edged the words out between clenched teeth. “Losing her baby didn’t stop me from seeing her that way for a long time.”
“Then why did you fall for her?”
“Why?” Mack looked up at the sky where stars shone in every direction. “Because she was here, Nina. I just couldn’t walk away from Heartache after Vince died. My mom was a mess and had a breakdown. My dad couldn’t afford to take the time off to deal with her, so Scott and I took turns sitting with her. But underneath it all, I was grieving and it helped to talk about Vince. To remember him.”
“And I wasn’t here to do that with you.” She’d known Mack had wanted her to be with him. She just...couldn’t. Not when everyone had blamed her for Vince’s death.
But she was a whole lot stronger than that now. And she didn’t have to make excuses for what had happened in the past.
“It was a rough few years.” Mack leaned forward again, elbows on his knees as he stared down at the empty football field, the Crestwood logo of a hawk still visible in the moonlight. “Plus Jenny and I were on the same page. The miscarriage really upset her, and she was as committed to not having a family as I wa
s.”
Nina tucked that away, not sure she was ready to find out why Mack was still so determined not to have kids. He’d always been so great with Ally, even when he was a teenager.
“Thank you for explaining that.” She realized she felt better as she retrieved her cup of cider and took another sip. “It helps.”
“If anyone told me last week that I’d be sitting on these bleachers with you today, I would have said they were out of their mind.” He turned to meet her gaze. “Actually, I would have said something more colorful than that, but I cleaned it up for you.”
She set her cup back down.
“You always were a gentleman,” she teased, feeling warm inside even though the temperature was dropping. “So what do you think now? Is it crazy to be sitting here with me?”
“Not since you’ve signed on to dispense the Finley family propaganda.”
“Hey.” She poked him in the knee, laughing. “I can still revoke that offer.”
He grabbed her finger and held it hostage, his skin warm against hers.
“In spite of everything, I like sitting here with you.” He turned her hand over slowly and stared down at it before he traced a circle on her palm with his thumb. And then another. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot since I came home, Nina.”
Her eyes slid closed to savor the sensation of his touch. The gentle rasp of his callused thumb on her skin was a simple pleasure that sent a shiver through her.
“Are you cold?” He stilled.
The wind whistled softly in the trees, the branches creaking.
“No,” she admitted. “Not really. I like being here with you, too.”
“Bet you never imagined yourself saying that a week ago, either, did you?” He flipped her hand again and lifted it, drawing her palm toward his lips and kissing the center.
The rush of heat to that one spot was shockingly sensual on a night when she wasn’t ready to feel that way. She’d wanted to recover a friendship, to move forward with a new start in Heartache, not go back and try to fix a relationship broken beyond repair.