by Joanne Rock
And since when had he fallen right back in synch with her?
“Anyone from math class with a car.” Rachel shrugged, scrolling through screens on her phone. “You know, Brad, Davy, Ethan—”
“He’s in your phone, too?” Ally asked.
Definitely nervous. Nina glanced his way, her look telling him she’d heard the tension, too.
“Girls, the maze is going to be spectacular.” Nina passed the tablet back to Rachel. “Ally, can I talk to you for just one quick second before we go?
When Ally appeared unsure, Mack asked Rachel about the maze design to distract her. But the girl came to life, firing off references to European labyrinths and math formulas he’d forgotten as soon as he finished college. His head hurt by the time Nina and Ally were done with their private chat. Rachel Wagoner finished her lesson by telling him to look up the Hollywood Stone because of his family’s Irish connections.
As he and Nina walked away from the girls, he heard Ally asking Rachel which piece of the grid she should take so they could begin painting. His niece seemed okay today. Grounded.
He wished he could say the same about himself. He turned his attention to the woman beside him, a woman who was still tying him up in knots half the time.
He and Nina continued along the perimeter of the fairgrounds toward the manmade pond where there would be cardboard boat races over the weekend.
“You have time for me to give you a rowboat tour?” Mack pointed to the assortment of vessels along the shore of the pond. There were two pedal boats and two rowboats. “You can fill me in on the finalized food-service plans. And you can tell me what Ally said in that secret conversation you just had with her.”
“Of course.” Nina glanced over her shoulder toward the girls. “I feel guilty I haven’t made it a point to visit Ally before now. Bethany had asked me to, but I didn’t realize how much the girl needed a friend or I would have made it my top priority.”
“Was Ally upset just now? I got the sense she didn’t want Rachel to have anything to do with Ethan Brady.” He halted as they reached the water’s edge, hoping like hell Ally was going to be okay.
How did parents cope with that kind of stress? He had no idea how Scott dealt with all the pressures of being a parent plus the knowledge that his daughter would face some of the same battles their mother had.
“Me, too.” Nina slipped out of her low-heeled leather boots while Mack checked the boat over.
She climbed in while he pushed it into the water. He smiled to himself, enjoying the simple ways they still worked in harmony. Conversations might be awkward. And the dance they were doing around the sensual chemistry was definitely a cautious interaction, but he’d be an idiot to deny the connection between them. They’d shared all their hopes and dreams at one time. You didn’t just forget that experience. He’d never opened his heart to anyone as much as he had to her. No matter how much he’d loved Jenny, he’d already been burned. He’d been more defensive. Less apt to share the same kind of stuff about himself that he’d shared with Nina because she’d been his best friend before she was his girlfriend.
“So what did you say to Ally? Do you think she’s...okay?”
“I just gave her a heads-up that she was wearing her heart on her sleeve as far as Ethan was concerned. I wanted to let her know because I didn’t think he and Rachel were an official couple.” Nina put a hand in the water, letting her fingertips glide along the surface while he stepped into the boat. “Also, I reminded her I’d love to get together any time she wanted to talk or bake or just hang out...” She shrugged. “I doubt she’ll take me up on it, but I wanted to at least put it out there.”
“That was nice of you.” Mack dipped the oars in the water and powered them forward, appreciating the workout since he hadn’t found enough time for physical activity since coming back to Heartache. “I’m worried about her and I think Scott’s got a lot of other things on his mind between Mom and Bethany.”
“Gram says half of parenting is worrying.” Nina winked. “So maybe you’re a natural father after all.”
Mack focused on each pull of the oars through the water.
“What?” she asked. “It’s probably some giant taboo for single people to talk about kids—” She paused. Straightened. “You really don’t want to have a family, do you?”
“I’ve always been honest about that.” He’d felt the same since he was a teen. It was a decision he’d never questioned, not even when Jenny had begged him to.
“I remember.” She bit her lip. “I guess I thought you’d change your mind. Plenty of teenage guys think they’ll never want to have children.”
“I discussed it with Jenny before we married and she said she didn’t want kids, either. But she changed her mind two years after the wedding. It became a sticking point for her.” He wanted to keep the explanation simple. Uncomplicated. “I just know what I went through as a kid—what all my siblings went through—dealing with my mother. I don’t want to give any child of mine the same experience.”
He kept rowing, focusing on the rhythmic sound of the oars knifing down into the water and pushing them across the pond.
“Medicines are much better now, you know,” Nina offered quietly, tipping her head back to the sun. “Plus, maybe you’d parent for it better considering you’d be aware of what to look for.”
“I’ve spent too many years already watching for the next mood swing.” Waiting for the next emotional crisis. “Besides, just because I know what to look for doesn’t mean other people in the kid’s life would.”
“Ally probably inherited some issues, though. And look at what a bright, high-achieving kid she is.” Nina pointed to a fish jumping out of the water.
“That’s true. But she’s also so stressed she’s hurting herself, Nina. That’s serious.”
Mack lifted the oars out of the water and let the rowboat drift as they reached the center of the pond. Nina watched him with a steady gaze, the sun finding all the lightest shades in her hair and bringing out a few freckles along her nose. He dreamed about her at night and woke up wanting her. It was becoming tougher and tougher to see her around town and not act on that.
For a moment, he wondered what this reunion might have been like if he was just a regular guy who shared her dreams of a family. Was there a chance they might have picked up where they left off?
“I know plenty of people live happy lives without children, so I won’t say that you should change your mind,” she said quietly. “I’m just questioning your reasons. As a kid, I always envied your family, so the Finleys must have done something right.”
“Scott and my father worked hard to keep things together.” He didn’t elaborate. Didn’t feel like sharing the details of all the weeks his mother had shut herself in a room and wouldn’t come out, or else talked for hours without pause, hardly sleeping. He had distance now. Perspective. And his mother’s issues weren’t the kind of genetic gift he was willing to pass along. The subject was closed in his book, and he’d been up front about that with Nina.
She sighed, apparently realizing the same thing.
“I got a registered letter from my runaway partner.” She propped her elbows on her knees and leaning closer. “She apologized and said she’s returning the funds she took from the business account.”
Mack’s brain scrambled to compute what that meant for her. For him.
“Does that change your plans to stay in Heartache?”
“No.” She shifted her feet closer to his to escape a trail of water that had dripped off the oars. “I need to be here.”
Eight years ago, he would have given anything to hear her say those words. Now, he knew it wouldn’t matter for them. Whether she was here or in New York, she’d always want more from him than he would be able to give. Still, he didn’t want her to suppress her dreams the way she’d suppr
essed her spirit.
“What about your business?” They were far enough from the shore that they couldn’t be overheard, but he still kept an eye on the fairgrounds as trucks pulled in with more hay bales for the straw maze. “You’ve just been given the break you need to really make it a success. Won’t you always wonder if you could have turned it around?”
She frowned and he could see the doubt in her eyes. “Not if I start a new business here.”
He fought the urge to tip her head up and cradle her chin in his hand. To make her listen to reason. “Nina, I listened to the dreams you had about moving to New York and making your mark on the city from the time you showed up in this town.” First, she was going to be a ballerina. Then a Rockette. Later, a chef. But she’d always dreamed big. “I know you’re worried about your grandmother, but she could go to New York with you.”
“So for my own sake, I pack her up and move her away from the only home she’s ever known?” She spread her arms wide in exasperation and the whole boat wobbled. “Mack, she asked me specifically to help her stay in her house since my dad is talking about sending her to assisted living. If I uproot her now to live with me a thousand miles away, how am I any better than him?”
Seeing how worried she was shredded his last defense. Normally, she was so sure of herself. He didn’t stand a chance of keeping his hands off her when she needed comfort. To hell with keeping an eye on the fairgrounds.
“Because she’d be with you instead of with strangers.” He reached for her, his hand landing on her denim-clad knee. “Come on, Nina. You know it’s different than your dad shuffling her off just so he can sell the house.”
Nina’s parents had earned no respect from him in the few times he’d met them. First, because they’d broken their proud daughter’s heart a little more every year that they all but ignored her existence. Second, because their selfishness extended to Daisy Spencer, who deserved a whole lot better.
“I can’t do that to Gram.” Nina shook her head and wiped the back of her hand along her eyes even though he hadn’t glimpsed even a hint of a tear. “She gave me a home and a family when I needed one more than anything. I’m not going to take that home away from her.”
Hearing the resolution in her voice, he realized he wasn’t going to change her mind. Nina Spencer was coming home even if it meant letting some of her old dreams die.
“Come here.” Mack found himself tugging her closer. “By me.”
He needed to hold her and it wasn’t just for his own sake, damn it. He could see what this decision had cost her. When he pulled her by the hand, she shifted positions so that she was sharing the bench seat with him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her close, bringing her vanilla scent near enough to inhale. She laid her head on his shoulder and it felt like...his dreams.
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, allowing his lips to linger against her silky blond hair longer than he probably should have. She fit against him as though she was made for him. As though she’d never left his side. He steeled himself against that line of thinking; they had a past they couldn’t change and a future they could never share. So right now, he just wanted to offer her a shoulder.
“I still say your home is wherever you make it.” He guessed her grandmother would have gone with her to New York, but he understood why Nina wouldn’t ask.
“For me, maybe. But not for her. For Gram, home is where she lived with my Gramp, where she raised her son and, eventually, me. She likes being close to the fruit trees so she can make jam and pies.”
She lifted her head to look at him, her eyes full of emotion. Her lips within kissing range. His gaze dipped down to her mouth. And stayed there. Just like she was staying in Heartache.
“You’re really moving back here.” He realized he hadn’t really let himself believe it that first night when she’d told him under the stars in his convertible. It would take a while to sink in.
“I really am.” She sounded so damn sure of it. So steady.
His heart slugged a hard rhythm against his chest, his fingers moving over her shoulder, down her upper arm along the sleeve of a silky shirt until he touched bare skin.
It was an old dream of his for her to say these things to him while he held her tight. But damn it, he didn’t even want the same things anymore. Still, he’d dreamed it for so long he couldn’t deny the fierce grip the moment had on him.... The thought of her here, in Heartache.
And Nashville wasn’t as far away as New York... Damn it, what was he thinking?
Except he didn’t want to think. Hadn’t they agonized about their relationship enough? He only wanted to feel, unable to resist the full-on draw of Nina. Always Nina.
With his free hand, he cupped her chin. Cradled her face. Gave her plenty of time to back away. Instead, her eyelids fluttered and closed.
Something about that small acquiescence hit him square in the chest. She’d been so scared of being hurt again. No matter how much he wanted her, he had to keep her safe from that. Keep her safe from him. But right now, he couldn’t possibly stop himself from kissing her.
His lips brushed over hers once to remind himself how good she tasted. Another time to savor the exquisite softness of her. And a third time to make sure she knew how much he wanted her and how combustible they could be together. It was that kiss that kicked things into high gear. He teased her lips apart with his tongue, needing more of her taste. She met each stroke of his tongue with one of her own, answering his kisses with a fire all her own. And suddenly, it didn’t matter that they were floating in a tin boat around a little lake at the back of the fairgrounds.
The moment was all about Nina.
Mack wrapped both arms around her, his palms meeting at the small of her back. He cupped the curve of her waist and followed the delicate flare of her hips with his hands. She arched into him, her fingers sliding around his neck to lace together there.
He breathed her in, the sweet edible scent of vanilla urging him to find the source of the fragrance. He kissed along her jaw and to the delicate hollow behind her ear, making her gasp with pleasure.
Reminding himself to explore that spot further later, he kissed lower, nipping a path down her neck to find the root of that scent that was making him crazy.
“Mack.” Her fingers gripped his shoulders now as she clutched him tight. “What if someone sees us?”
A damned legitimate concern.
“We’re adults now.” He found a spot along her neck that made her sigh and traced it again. And again. “No more sneaking around in the orchard at night.”
She was quiet for so long he wondered if she was still worried about a possible PDA. Lifting his head from the decadent indulgence of kissing her, he glanced back to the fairgrounds.
Only to realize they’d floated toward the far shore, their boat already half-hidden by trees surrounding a quiet inlet.
“Look where we are.” He spoke into her ear, watching her face as she opened her eyes slowly and got her bearings. A smile curled her lips before she peered up at him. “It’s almost as if the universe conspired to give us this one anonymous kiss.”
“Or this one anonymous hour,” he said, pressing his luck, not letting the moment slip by him. “No one will come searching for me any time soon.”
“You? Mr. Festival Coordinator and a Finley at that?” Her fingers sketched a light touch along the back of his neck that made him want to row the boat to the closest shore so he could take her home with him. Stay in bed with her for days.
He was too consumed with the thought to answer. She smiled as she continued to tease him.
“Someone is going to be desperately searching for you any second with an urgent matter, like the haunted house ran out of spider webs. Or there’s been a rash of worms in the apples designated for bobbing.” She leaned in to place a kiss under his jaw, her li
ps catching on the five o’clock shadow he wouldn’t have noticed if not for the way Nina skimmed along it.
High, firm breasts pressed against his chest, making him forget completely where they were and what they were supposed to be doing. Heat rocketed through him and he recalled how potent her touches could be. She channeled all the passionate hunger she brought to life into the way she kissed. He remembered she did the same in the way she made love.
“It’s going to take a whole lot more than an apple-bobbing issue to tear me away from you.” He slid his hands up her spine and back down, memorizing the feel of her again. And then, deliberately, he forced himself to pause. “But only if you’re sure this is what you want.”
She stilled, blinking. Her lips parted as if to speak and then snapped shut again.
“Because I didn’t row you out into the center of the lake to seduce you.” As much as the idea tempted him. “I only wanted to hold you because I know moving back here was never what you envisioned for yourself. But it’s not easy for me to touch you and not...want you.”
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you, too.” She tipped her forehead to his, the warmth of her skin seeping into his as the water lapped gently against the sides of the rowboat. “But I don’t have anything figured out beyond tomorrow. I’m not sure what to do about my business. I don’t know if I should get a house in town or live on the farm. And I definitely have no idea what to do with the feelings I have for you, so it wouldn’t be fair to start something when I’m not sure where I want it to go.”
“Don’t worry about what’s fair for me.” He couldn’t say what tomorrow held, either, but he did know she’d been on his mind constantly since he’d cruised into town. “I realize I can’t have forever with you, Nina. But what if we just enjoyed the time we have together again. Here. Today.”
“You make it sound so simple.” She bit her lip.
“It is simple.” His cell phone started to buzz in his back pocket; their window of time was closing. But he couldn’t let the moment pass without making his point. “Nina, you say you want to be less impulsive and I get that. But what we have isn’t some random itch to scratch. We said as much that night we danced at Lucky’s and I kissed you on the swings.”